by Anita Notaro
“Don’t insult me, please. You don’t need a regular income …”
“No, I don’t. But old instincts die hard. I didn’t always have money like this. And there’s always the feeling that it might stop, nobody might buy your books anymore. But you’re right, it wasn’t really about money, I’d planned to give it up a long time ago.”
“And then I came along and provided you with a ready-made story each week. God, you must have laughed.” She was raging, as much at her own naivete as anything. “I could sue you, you know.”
“Do you want to?”
“No, but I don’t know if I can work for you anymore.”
“Nora, don’t.”
“I mean it.” She didn’t really, he was the best employer she’d ever had, but the last while had been different, they’d somehow lost their earlier closeness. He hadn’t pulled her hair in ages.
“I don’t want to lose you. Please.” He ran his hands through his own hair.
She was tired of hiding her feelings, she wanted to put all this behind her and get on with her life, but he’d become part of it. So had the girls. And even though she knew it would all end, eventually, when he spread his wings again and found someone who mattered more than Toni, she couldn’t be the one to walk away. God, it was pathetic. And Toni had fallen for it too. Suddenly, Ellie felt protective of her friend.
“And what about Toni? Was she just to research your article on one-night stands? Mind you, she lasted for a couple of weeks I suppose. Longer than your average, I’d say. Why exactly did you dump her?”
He squirmed. “I suppose I realized very quickly that I didn’t have any real feelings for her.”
“You used her.” He didn’t flinch.
“Yes, in a way I did. I wondered if I could cut the mustard on the dating scene, and she was fun. But remember, it was her idea initially. She asked me out. And yes, the sex was great, before you ask.” He glanced over to make sure the kids were out of earshot. He didn’t even notice her expression.
The sex bit hurt more than it should have. She didn’t understand it. She’d known—hell the whole world had known—they’d been at it like rabbits.
He was staring at her. “She was … I don’t know what the word is, and I don’t want to hurt you. I know she’s your friend.”
She waited.
“She was too, I dunno, too much, I suppose. She wanted it all to move way too fast, and on her terms. The novelty wore off quite quickly, if I’m honest.” He scratched his head. “We didn’t suit each other at all, really, and I finally understood it that night when we had dinner with my editor. He and Toni had much more in common than Toni and I had. Anyway, there was another factor.” He paused. “I wasn’t sure she really liked the girls.” He was watching her face for a reaction. “And ultimately, that would have prevented it going anywhere, no matter what my feelings were.”
“You hurt her, and she’s a good person.”
“I didn’t know that, she sort of led me to believe that it was just a fling for her too. Anyway, Nora, it would all have ended sooner or later, that’s for sure. And it had nothing to do with us.” He ran his fingers through his hair again. “Oh God, I’ve made a complete mess of this whole thing.”
“Us?”
“You and me.”
“There is no you and me.”
“No.” He handed her a cup and poured coffee for them both. “Nora, I’m sorry. I swear I never meant to hurt you …”
“But, this week, how could you be so blatant? At least up to this you were reasonably subtle … although, the more I think about it now the more I realize how much material I provided.” She shook her head. “Anyway, why this week? You must have known I’d cop it?”
“It was my last one. I resigned a few weeks ago.”
She was confused. “It doesn’t make sense. You could have gotten away with it. I’d never have put two and two together … if it wasn’t for that stupid conversation we had the other day.”
“I wanted to ask you …”
“Ask me what?”
“Did you read it?”
“Yes, of course I bloody read it.”
“So, what’s your answer?”
“My answer to what?”
He looked at her. He was more nervous than he’d ever been in his life. “Did you really read it …?”
“I did.”
“All of it?”
“No, not quite.”
“I thought as much. Well, you may as well know it all, I’m sure your friends will tell you anyway. Here …” He thrust the paper back at her and turned away.
She skimmed the bit she’d already read, and continued:
Stupid, blinkered guy, seeks soulmate. Must love children and animals, especially little girls who can be cranky sometimes and dopey dogs likely to slobber all over her and upset her first day in a new job. Should be able to cook—and must know how to bake butterfly buns with jam and cream. Good bedtime-reading skills essential. Ability to formulate a planwhen vital items, such as feelys, go missing would be an advantage. Must look gorgeous in the morning and also on TV and not mind having her hair pulled or dribble wiped off her chin occasionally. In return all I can promise is a GSOH and a real affinity with little boys who might need a loving father. Suitable applicants know where to apply.
She didn’t look up for ages.
“I told you it was my last one. I could afford to indulge myself.” He sounded uncomfortable and unsure.
“So, what does this mean?” She still didn’t meet his eyes.
“It means I’d like you to be my … I’d like us to … to … I’d like to see you sometime,” he said finally.
“You see me every day.”
“I mean take you out … properly … just the two of us.”
“A date, you mean?” She was still way too thrown by what she’d just read.
“Yes.”
“You want to practice on me the way you did on Toni?”
“That’s not fair.”
“Well, I wouldn’t bother. You’ll only be disappointed.”
“I wasn’t talking about sex.”
“Yeah, right. It’s all been about sex with you, hasn’t it?”
“I suppose it was important, yes. I thought I was past it.”
“And were you?”
“No.”
“Bully for you. So, what do you want with me, then?”
“I don’t want to have sex with you.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“I want to get to know you … as a woman. Not just as our nanny. Without all this stuff getting in the way.”
“There’ll always be three kids getting between you and me.” It was what she wanted more than anything, so why was she hesitating?
“We could try?”
“Where has the closeness gone? Tell me that. It’s all changed these last few weeks. I liked it better when you liked me.” She sounded like a child herself. “What happened, Jack?” She smiled sadly. “We used to laugh, have fun. We were friends.”
“A few weeks ago, I discovered I had … certain feelings for you. I wanted to be more than friends.”
“When?”
“The day I saw you on TV.”
Ellie laughed.
“What’s so funny?”
“I had feelings for you long before then.” His eyes narrowed. It was the first indication she’d given him.
“When?”
“The evening you came to the funeral.”
“What sort of feelings?” She didn’t answer. “Nora, please, tell me.”
“Funny feelings.”
“Good funny?” She nodded. “Why didn’t you say something?”
“Are you mad? You were my boss. I liked my job. And when Rudi came along, I needed that job badly.”
He came a bit closer. “Nora, can we start again? Please?”
“I dunno.”
“I want to.” He tipped her chin up like he’d done before. “I need you.”
She
swallowed hard. It was all she wanted, but she was still afraid. “How can we keep things going, me working here and all?”
“We’re already kind of a family. Look.” He steered her over to where Rudi was sitting between the girls on the sofa. Jess was feeding him from her bottle. “We just need to spend some time on our own.” He turned her to face him. “Get to know each other.”
“I won’t sleep with you.” It was a downright lie.
“I’m not asking you to.”
“Oh.”
“At least not until we’re married.”
“Married?”
“Yes.”
“You and me?”
“Yes.”
“We haven’t even kissed and you want to marry me?”
“Yes, Nora, I do.”
She grinned at him for the first time. “You know, I never thought it would be like this. I thought it would be all bells and whistles. Fireworks and poetry.”
“Thought what would be like this?”
She hesitated for only a second. “Love …”
“Do you love me, Nora?” He came very close to her.
She nodded.
His eyes twinkled. “I think it just crept up on us, but make no mistake, it can be just as powerful. And I promise there will be fireworks. Now the poetry I’m not so sure of …”
She still couldn’t hack it. “What about Rudi?” She was determined to know everything before she said one more word.
“Oh, he’ll have to go back to where he came from.”
“Seriously?”
“I want to marry him, too. And I’ve kissed him loads of times. And … if you’d come upstairs with me while I clean my teeth, I would be more than happy to kiss you, provided the gang are out of sight.”
“You don’t want to tell them, then?”
“Yes, Nora, I want to tell them, but not right this minute.”
She stepped to one side and really smiled at him for the first time in ages. She finally relaxed. “I need to make sure Toni’s OK with all this, I wouldn’t want to hurt her.”
“OK. That’s fine.”
“Anyway, I’m not going anywhere with you until I’ve sampled what’s on offer. I’ll risk the bad breath.”
He reached over and pulled her toward him and stroked her neck, then gently lifted up her face and kissed her very softly on the mouth. “That’s all you’re getting,” he smiled, “until you say yes.”
“Rudi comes as well?” She needed to double-check.
“What do you think?”
“Will you love him as your own?”
“I already do, sort of, but yes, I promise.”
“Then yes.”
“Yes?”
“Yes.”
“Sure?”
“Certain.”
“Thank you.”
“It’s a pleasure.” She grinned at him. “We have a lot to work out. Your divorce, the adoption process for Rudi, the girls …”
“Later. Come here.”
He kissed her properly then and they stayed like that for ages. She wanted to touch him and smell him and revel in the closeness and would have done until something told them that they weren’t alone anymore.
Rudi and Jess were holding hands and staring. Sam’s smile was a mile wide. Sarah looked disgusted.
“That’s gross.” She flicked back her hair and tried to look grown up as she picked up Rudi and sauntered past. She looked toward the other two. “Come on, Jess, Sam, let’s go get you dressed.” They all trooped off, Rashers tagging along in case there was any food going.
At the foot of the stairs she delivered her parting shot. “Hey, you two,” she looked over her shoulder disdainfully, “get a room.”
Acknowledgments
This story comes with a warning. DIETS DON’T WORK! At least that’s the conclusion most of my friends have come to. Between us, we’ve tried every regime on the planet and the only thing I lost was my sense of humor. Thanks anyway to Dearbhla, Ursula, Caroline and Dee, who put up with all my moans and groans. Also my sisters Madeleine, Lorraine and Jean, who always tell it like it is.
Special thanks to Claire Wachtel in William Morrow, for taking a chance on me, and also to Pamela Spengler-Jaffee and Joan Gidas, for all your efforts on my behalf. I’m very excited to be working with Harper Collins. Thanks also to Lauretta Charlton, and I look forward to meeting you all one of these days.
I wouldn’t be where I am today without a super agent and Marianne Gunn O’Connor is just that, and her assistant, Pat Lynch, feeds me regularly and keeps me sane.
Finally, I have a new husband, who never laughs when I announce yet another health kick. Gerry McGuinness—I don’t know how I ever got so lucky!
Anita Notaro
August 2006
About the Author
ANITA NOTARO is a TV producer, journalist, and director and worked for RTE, Ireland’s national broadcasting organization, for eighteen years. She has directed the Eurovision Song Contest and the Irish General Election, as well as programs for the BBC and Channel 4. She is the author of Back After the Break and Behind the Scenes. She is currently at work on her fourth book entitled You Don’t Know Me. The WWW Club marks her U.S. debut.
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By Anita Notaro
THE WWW CLUB
BACK AFTER THE BREAK
BEHIND THE SCENES
Copyright
This book was originally published in Great Britain in 2005 by Bantam Press, a division of Transworld Publishers, and in hardcover by William Morrow in May 2006.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
THE WWW CLUB. Copyright © 2005 by Anita Notaro.
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
EPub Edition © AUGUST 2010 ISBN: 978-0-062-03494-6
FIRST EDITION
ISBN: 978-0-06-082536-2
ISBN-10: 0-06-082536-7
The William Morrow hardcover edition contains the following Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Notaro, Anita.
The WWW Club / Anita Notaro.
p. cm.
1. Overweight women—Fiction. 2. Reducing diets—Fiction.
3. Dublin (Ireland)—Fiction. I. Title.
PR6114.O83W88 2006
823′.92—dc22 2005057683
07 08 09 10 11 JTC/RRD 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
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