by Sorcha Grace
I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t play the game, allow myself to think this could go somewhere. So I blurted it out. “Listen, I’m really not interested in whatever it is you have in mind. I should go find my friend.” I started to rise from my seat again, but his firm pressure on my thigh increased, and he pushed me down.
“Catherine, you have no idea what I have in mind. If you want to find your friend, alright. But before you do, I’d like to make sure that I see you again.”
“Why?” I tried hard to hold to my defenses, but that hot, liquid feeling raged through me as I watched his gaze narrow.
He gave me his knowing look. “We have a connection. You know it, and so do I.”
“I don’t know anything,” I lied.
He leaned forward. “Do you know what I’d do right now if we were alone?”
The idea of being alone with him made me tremble slightly, and I reminded myself to breathe. “I thought you were behaving.”
There was that boyish grin again. I really liked that grin. “You have no idea how well I am behaving, Catherine. If we were alone, I’d peel you out of those leather pants. Taking my time. I’ve been trying to imagine what you’re wearing underneath, and it’s driving me crazy. I want to strip you down and touch your breasts.”
I really couldn’t believe I was sitting there listening to him. Even worse, he was making me hot. My nipples hardened with arousal, aching for his touch, and I’m sure he noticed. I had to make a conscious effort not to push my arms against them to ease the tingling.
“You have exquisite breasts. Do you know that?”
I didn’t answer. My breasts felt heavy and sensitive from his gaze alone.
“I want my mouth on them. I want to kiss them, suckle them, and roll those hard nipples over my tongue. Would you like that, Catherine? Would you like it if I put my mouth on you?”
I couldn’t answer. I didn’t have the words. While he spoke, his warm hand made gentle circles on my thigh, the rhythm steady and erotic. I sipped the second bourbon without thinking. I needed something to do, something to wet my parched throat.
“You seem like a man accustomed to getting what you want,” I said finally, trying not to think about the stroke of his hand. I could feel the heat from his touch radiating higher and higher, pressing between my legs, making me throb.
“I always get what I want, Catherine. I always get exactly what I want.”
“Is that sort of bravado supposed to be sexy? You won’t get me.” Oh, what was I doing? Yes, yes, yes was like a chorus in my head, but I couldn’t let this happen, let anything happen. As much as I responded, I wasn’t ready.
He shrugged. “I do love a challenge, but I can see you want me. Why don’t you just give in?”
I sipped the bourbon again. “It’s tempting.”
“There’s nothing wrong with giving into temptation now and again.”
“You’re tempting.” I couldn’t believe I’d said that. I never talked like this.
He reached out and ran a finger down my cheek. “Catherine, you have no idea the ways I could tempt you.”
“I don’t do one-night stands or the fuck-buddy thing. I don’t do just sex, William. And I’m not relationship material.” Who was I kidding? I didn’t do anything, and I really didn’t know what I might do or even what I wanted to do. Beckett said I should have fun, but I didn’t think I could, now that fun was staring me in the face and had told me he wanted to put my nipples in his mouth.
He looked nonplussed. “We can work something out. Think about it, Catherine. I can take care of you and give you what you need. Right now, you’re cold. Chicago isn’t nearly as warm as Santa Cruz. Let me take you to a warm, wet beach. Say the word, and we can go tonight.”
I stared, the haze of arousal and bourbon clearing. “Wait a minute. You know I’m from Santa Cruz?”
“It’s not a secret.”
I grabbed his hand, halting the maddening circles on my thigh. “What else do you know?”
I saw a flicker of a shield in his eyes now, a grey shadow in the otherwise blue depths. He didn’t say anything but kept rubbing my thigh. I moved to push his hand away.
“Do you know where I live?”
He didn’t answer.
“What else?” I jumped from the bar stool. “My parents’ names? Where I went to school?” Oh, my God. I couldn’t believe I’d let this whole thing go this far. What had I been thinking? I wasn’t ready for a relationship, and I certainly wasn’t ready for a relationship with a man who aroused me more than I cared to admit and frightened me too. If he could find out where I lived and where I was from, what else could he find out?
I wasn’t ready. Before he could stop me or touch me, hypnotizing me once again, I jumped from my seat and stalked toward the kitchen. I knew the restaurant layout, and the kitchen was close. I could easily duck out the back door and find a cab. That was Rational Cat thinking. That was the Cat I needed. I could call Beckett from the cab, assure him I was fine, go home, and go to bed.
No more William Lambourne. No more Stormy Eyes.
Four
The deafening clatter of plates clinking against one another, the hiss of the stove, and the shouts of the line cooks assaulted my ears as I stepped into the kitchen. It was jumping with waiters queuing to fill their trays with Willowgrass’s delicious food, workers washing dishes and stacking dry ones next to the food prep areas, and Ben’s sous chef calling out orders as he expedited. It took me a moment to recognize Ben, who was dressed for the party rather than the kitchen tonight. But it was clear he was in charge. He stood to one side, coolly surveying everything, but he didn’t see me. It sounded as though demand for Ben’s creations had exceeded expectation. The opening was a success, and I was happy for Ben and Amanda.
But I wanted to go home. I wanted to get away from William Lambourne and his stormy eyes, skilled hands, and velvet words. He was affecting my better judgment. I couldn’t let that happen.
I wouldn’t let it happen.
And I really thought I’d gotten away, but I’d taken only a dozen steps when my skin prickled with awareness. I turned, and he was there, standing in the doorway, looking angry and sexy at the same time. I had the urge to run, but I couldn’t make my feet move. Instead, I stood rooted in place while William took three large strides across the kitchen to stand before me. Even with the mouthwatering mix of scents from the food cooking, I could smell his unique scent. It made me hungry, but not for comfort food. No, there was nothing comforting about the way he looked at me.
Without a word, he took my arm and pulled me aside. I wouldn’t have been able to hear him above the clatter and clink of dishes, but he might have made an effort to speak. A refreshing cold and sudden silence descended, and I had a moment to realize we were in the walk-in cooler before his hot mouth descended. As soon as his lips touched me, I was his.
He didn’t ask, he didn’t hesitate, he merely took, and I couldn’t help but offer myself to him. His lips, his tongue, the way he slanted his mouth over mine, claiming me completely, made my knees weak. I think I moaned or whimpered, but I didn’t object. I should have been cold, standing in a freezer in only my jacket and thin tank top. I should have been turned off by the slabs of meat and the stacks of fish surrounding me. Instead, I was burning up, fevered with want. I couldn’t get enough of William’s mouth, his tongue, his body against mine.
And suddenly, I didn’t care if we were in a freezer. I didn’t care that he was an arrogant ass with a filthy mouth. I didn’t care that I didn’t want a relationship right now. All I cared about was the slow burn moving through my body as William kissed me. I hadn’t expected his kiss to be ordinary, and I wasn’t disappointed. He knew how to tease, nipping at my lips with teeth and tongue, giving me a taste of what I hungered for before pulling back.
I fisted my hands in his hair and pulled him closer, sucking on his tongue, pressing my body against his, feeling his warmth and hardness. I was aware of every inch of his tall, athletic bo
dy, especially his hard thighs, which brushed against mine, and the more we kissed, the more I abandoned myself to pure sensation. With a groan, he pushed me against one of the shelves, and I felt the cold metal through the material of my tuxedo jacket. But it didn’t penetrate. Nothing penetrated except the heat of William’s body and the taste of his mouth. He was bourbon and cinnamon and sex.
Our tongues dueled, vying for dominance, and I felt my control slipping farther and farther. I lost it completely when William turned gentle on me. He cupped my face in his hands, drew back, and then whispered in a dark voice strained with need, “I knew I was right. I knew it would be like this. You should really listen to me, Catherine.” Then he kissed me with such skill and such sweetness that if it hadn’t been for the below freezing temperature, I would have melted into steam. His lips brushed mine, sending sparks of heat spiraling through me. Warm, delicious tendrils of pleasure infused me from the tips of my fingertips to my toes. My heart thundered, and my hips rhythmically arched forward and pressed into his. I wanted to feel his hand between my thighs. I wanted to feel his fingers probe and press and slide inside me the way his tongue had slid inside my mouth. He flicked his tongue across my lips, and I wanted his tongue on me too.
I moaned. My body betrayed me, and I could no longer control the sounds of pleasure I was making. His tongue stroked mine, filling my mouth, stroking me in a rhythm, a pattern I knew well. I clutched at his lapels, needing more and wanting more. So much more—
“Sorry to interrupt…”
I ripped myself away from William, feeling bereft as soon as we parted. Suddenly, the cold of the freezer washed over me, and I shivered. I darted my gaze to a line cook standing in the doorway and closed my eyes in mortification. The kid couldn’t have been older than twenty, and he looked a bit chagrined. William, on the other hand, was all composure. “It’s all yours,” he said, pulling me out of the freezer.
Suddenly, we were surrounded by sound and fury again, but it was a blur. My head spun as he pulled me through the restaurant, outside, and onto the sidewalk in front. The January night air bit into my skin, and that’s what snapped me back to reality. Part of me wanted to slide against William, steal his warmth and heat, but I kept my distance.
This wasn’t what I wanted, I reminded myself.
He wasn’t what I wanted.
My God, I didn’t know him, and I had been making out with him in a freezer in the middle of a party. I wasn’t ready. I didn’t want a relationship—or whatever this might be—with a man who went through women like I went through camera batteries. I was an emotional wreck, and as much as I’d enjoyed myself in the freezer, I couldn’t do this. Okay, maybe I could, but I shouldn’t. Time to put a stop to this.
“I can have a car here in less than thirty seconds,” William said, pushing me against the wall of the building and into the shadows while nuzzling my neck.. “Say the word, Catherine, and we can take this where we both want it to go.”
I opened my mouth, but my lips felt bruised and tender. I couldn’t speak. He ran his thumb over my bottom lip. His eyes were a liquid grey that told me he was aroused. “You know, you make me do things, think things. Do you even know how fucking hot I am for you?” He reached down and adjusted himself, and even in the darkness, I could see he had an impressive erection. I’d made him that aroused? I’d made him want me that much?
“I can’t,” I said, but I didn’t sound convincing.
“You can,” he murmured, his warm breath at my neck. “And you will. This is just the beginning, Catherine. I’m going to have you.” His fingers caressed mine, moving in slow, tantalizing circles. “We are going fuck in more ways than you can imagine. And I’m going to show you pleasure you didn’t know existed.”
Oh, my God—more dirty talk. I shuddered because I liked it when he talked to me like that. I guess I appreciated directness too.
This was not what I wanted, I reminded myself. “I don’t even know you,” I protested weakly.
“You know me. Your body knows me. You think this kind of reaction happens every day? We’re going to happen, Catherine. It’s inevitable. Why wait?”
I knew he was right. There was something extraordinary simmering between us, chemistry I’d never felt before, not even with Jace. And with that one thought, all the sadness crashed down.
I shut my eyes tightly. “No.” I shook my head, keeping my eyes closed. One look at his intense eyes, and I would lose my resolve. “I can’t do this.” I pushed away from the wall of the restaurant, stepping toward the curb and raising my hand for a cab.
“Fuck,” William cursed behind me. I heard the frustration in his tone, but then he stepped beside me, whistled, and a cab pulled to the curb. He opened the door, and I thought he might climb in beside me, but he shut it as soon as I was in. Instead, he leaned in the window, told the driver my address, and handed him what looked like a hundred.
“I have money,” I protested.
He ignored me. “Take her home. Safely.” Then he stepped back, shoved his hands in his pockets, and fixed his turbulent gaze on mine. Our eyes locked, the connection unbroken until he faded in the darkness as the cab pulled away.
The ride was blissfully silent and the driver quiet. I didn’t want to talk. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. My nerves were raw, and my whole body craved release. I was edgy and frustrated, flustered and confused. I’d had to run, though walking away from the sexual magnetism of William Lambourne was one of the most difficult things I’d ever done. I couldn’t have stayed. The feelings were too intense, my reaction too raw. He made me forget everything, and I couldn’t allow that to happen.
I grabbed my phone from my purse and texted Beckett that I was in a cab on my way home.
Immediately, he texted back. Alone?
Yes. Yoga tomorrow?
Hell, yes. I want details.
I shoved the phone back in my purse. Details? I was hot, frustrated, and completely in lust with a man I didn’t know. And I’d just told him I couldn’t do what he wanted, what we both wanted. I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the seat. I could feel William’s hands on my face, taste the bourbon on his tongue, and feel his hard body pushed against mine.
It was going to be a long night.
*****
The next morning I met a bleary-eyed Beckett at our usual Bikram yoga class. Beckett and I were in the back, and we’d just finished our stretches. It was one hundred and five degrees in the room, and we were slicked with sweat. Beckett looked like he’d stayed out too late, and I was glad I’d left the party early. My black mat was beside his grey one as we bent our knees for the Awkward Pose. I was dressed in black Lululemon boogie shorts, a pink and black sports bra, and nothing else.
We shifted into Eagle Pose, and I breathed deeply. I’d always loved yoga. It centered me and made me feel cleansed. Today, I really needed to feel centered. I hadn’t slept well last night. Big surprise. My thoughts had kept returning to Mr. Billionaire and the walk-in cooler. Even in this incredible heat, I could still feel the cold air and William’s fingers caressing my skin.
“Are you cold, Cat?” Beckett murmured. He was supposed to have his eyes closed. The instructor was saying something about a meadow and deep breathing, and we should have been listening.
“Just thinking about last night.”
“Oh, really?” The rest of the class shifted into Standing Head to Knee Pose, and we followed. “The memories are that good, huh?” Beckett wobbled, and I struggled to find my balance.
“So a bourbon, neat, magically appeared after he seated you at the bar?” Beckett said, recapping our discussion before class.
“He didn’t exactly seat me. He didn’t give me a lot of choice.” My leg trembled from the effort it took to hold the position, and I grit my teeth. The instructor would have been so disappointed.
“A man who knows what he wants and goes for it,” Beckett said, sliding into a Standing Bow. He was in the zone now. “I like it.”
So did
I, much to my chagrin. Through the Balancing Stick and the Triangle and the Tree Pose, I filled Beckett in on the rest of the evening, and when I finished he looked thoughtful—not an easy feat in the Toe Stand Pose. “So… would you have gone all the way?”
“Huh?” I was struggling to get my ankle on top of my knee. There. Balance… balance.
“Would you have fucked him in the deep freeze?”
My leg buckled, and I went down on my bottom with a thud. The instructor frowned at me, and Beckett grinned, while managing to look at peace. His blond hair was plastered to his head, and his muscles were standing out from the tension of holding the pose. I wondered what William would look like all hot and sweaty.
“He’s right, you know,” Beckett said when we were lying on our backs.
“About what?”
“About the chemistry. That kind of attraction doesn’t happen every day. Look at me. I’ve been trying to find it for years. And every time I think I’ve found Mr. Hot and Heavy, he ends up scorching me.”
I reached across our mats and took Beckett’s hand. “You’re going to find the right guy, Beckett. You just need to stop looking in bars.”
“It worked for you!”
“It didn’t work for me. I’m not seeing him again.”
“Oh, yes, you are! You can’t drop him. Not until you fuck him. I have to hear all about how William Lambourne is in bed.”
“Beckett!” We were close, but there were some things I couldn’t imagine sharing in detail.
“No, seriously, Cat.” His expression sobered. “He’s the perfect guy for you.” Beckett held up a finger. “The chemistry is there.” Another finger. “He obviously wants you.” Another finger. “And he’s a commitment-phobe.”
We turned onto our bellies for the Cobra Pose. “He’s a commitment-phobe?”
“Do you know what Google is, darling? Search for commitment-phobe, and William Lambourne’s picture pops up. Okay, not literally. But that’s his thing. He’s never with one woman for long. No long-term girlfriends as far I can tell. He loves them and leaves them. He’s perfect.”
