‘Even that generous offer will not change my mind, not when I do not want this baby.’ By saying those words aloud it quelled all her fears, making her want to do anything to protect the tiny life inside her, even if it meant she had to ignore the love she had for this man.
As that callous admission left her lips she knew that, whatever she had to face, she would have this baby. Milly would be with her all the way and if the test results proved to be positive and she faced the worst, she would insist her sister brought up the baby. That way it would at least be loved, because Milly longed for marriage and children. That was why she’d bravely taken the test when she herself had shied away from it.
‘I see.’ His calm acceptance of the admission of her darkest fear was almost too much. ‘So a deal which means you can leave Kezoban after the child is born would be mutually beneficial.’
‘What?’ She jumped up, sending her chair scraping across the marble floor of the terrace.
‘I will pay you whatever amount you name to remain in Kezoban as my wife until the child is born.’
‘I’m not leaving my baby here. What kind of woman do you think I am?’ Did he really think she was that heartless? But wasn’t that exactly what she’d wanted him to think? Now she wished she’d never said anything. She should have kept her fears to herself and just left.
‘I believe you are the kind of woman who will want only the best for your child, and the best will be for him to be brought up here, in the palace, as a future ruler of his country.’ Zafir still sat watching her, his hands remaining calmly linked before him, but the scrutiny in his eyes left her in no doubt that he was aware of every flicker of emotion she was trying to hide.
The ground beneath her feet seemed to move and her body swayed as if she had been aboard a ship for many days. She sat down quickly, not wanting him to guess her weakness. The only option she had right now was to agree to his outlandish terms in order to end this discussion. Tomorrow she would have to convince him that the only way forward was to allow her to return to England.
She swallowed hard. ‘If the deal is right, then I will agree.’
‘The deal will be right, make no mistake about that, and tomorrow at the feast our engagement will be announced.’
* * *
The next day Zafir was still mad with rage at how mercenary and calculated Destiny had been, bargaining with their child as if it was nothing more than an inconvenience she needed to be rid of. Just a few days ago, he’d thought he’d fallen in love with her, an emotion he had never experienced before, but how could he love someone so cold? All she’d done was string him along, lead him to believe there was something between them, when really she’d been working towards her ultimate goal of striking a deal that would set her up for life.
Whatever she did or said, there was no escaping the fact that now there was something between them, something he suspected she hadn’t planned for. A child. His child—and he would do a deal with the devil himself if it meant he could keep his son or daughter in Kezoban and in his life. In just a few hours he would make the announcement that would seal that deal and tell his people that Destiny was to be his bride. He knew it would cause problems. She was different—but she was the mother of his heir, a fact which changed everything.
She was also the woman he’d fallen in love with and he’d come back to tell her that he wanted only her, but the realisation that she was carrying his child changed things. Emotions were no longer important. Love or hate didn’t play any part in the deal he’d just struck with her. Duty was the driving force.
Zafir sat in his lavish banquet room, looking out over his people, but he was more distracted than he’d ever been. His attention kept flitting to the grand arched doors, waiting for Destiny’s arrival. Still raw from her painful admission that she didn’t want his child, he couldn’t believe that he longed to see her, that more than anything he wanted to hold her and kiss her again.
He had to constantly remind himself that she was not who he’d thought she was. Her harsh admissions yesterday burned in his soul, dimming the love he had for her, but obviously it had not subdued the lust and desire. If she’d hoped to escape him she’d played it all wrong. Those admissions made him more determined to keep her in Kezoban and make her his wife.
Finally, as the great banquet room thronged with the elite of his kingdom, he saw her. The thump in his chest, as if he’d been hit by a weapon, caught him off guard. She looked pale, her dark eyes almost too big as she glanced around the room. Had she slept or had she tossed all night as he had?
Around the room the hum of conversation dipped to a curious whisper and he knew that was down to the lavish deep purple and gold silks she wore, exactly as he’d instructed Mina to ensure. They were his colours and marked her as his.
Across the room her gaze met his and, over the heads of his people, that spark which always sizzled when he saw her leapt to life once more. Nothing, it seemed, could dim that. He stood up on the raised platform and gestured her to be escorted to him. The guests parted as she made her way towards him, the whispers becoming more intense as a sense of expectancy filled the room.
She joined him on the platform and he took her hand, which alone spoke volumes to his people. He stood beside her and began to address everyone in Arabic, aware of her nervousness. Beside him she trembled but he continued to speak, putting out his arm to her in presentation as his announcement stunned those gathered before them into silence. For her benefit he repeated his words in English.
‘Meet the woman I intend to marry, a woman from far away but whose very name, Destiny, suggests fate has sent her here to be at my side as my wife.’
As speculative whispers raced around the room he looked at Destiny. Her dark eyes, so soft and gentle, regarded him warily and he wished he could do more to allay her fears. He wanted to hold her close, kiss her beautiful face, but protocol needed to be followed. Their union had to be above question or reproach if his people were ever to accept it.
A cheer went up from the back of the room, followed by more, and relief flooded him. ‘You are being received well.’ He spoke in hushed tones, leaning close to her. ‘My people like and approve of you.’
‘When they discover the truth, they may not be so pleased with your decision to break with tradition and marry an outsider.’ She spoke as softly as he had, keeping a smile on her face, an outward sign of happiness. Already she was performing the role of Kezoban royalty well.
‘My people are happy. They see that you have made me happy, taken away the dark cloud which hung over us after Tabinah’s accident. To them it is a love match.’ He inhaled as he said those last words, catching the scent of her, filling his mind and his body with a rush of need, laced with guilt. He had no right to be happy, no right to feel the way he did for this woman, but it was an illusion he now had to live under—for the sake of his child.
‘And what happens when they discover the truth about the baby?’ Anger rushed forward, pushing aside guilt or need at her hard but whispered words. He had no idea what his people would say or do, when she followed through with their deal and left Kezoban, left him and their child after the birth. That was the only flaw in his plan, but he wouldn’t worry over that now.
‘All they need to know at present is that we shall be married within the week.’
* * *
‘Within the week?’ Destiny could hardly speak. When she’d made that deal with Zafir the day before, it had all been about ending the circles they were talking in, giving her time to be alone and think of what she really needed to do. But marriage within a week—that had not been part of the deal. She couldn’t marry him, even if she knew the test would be clear; she couldn’t link herself to this man for evermore. But hadn’t that link already been created?
‘We cannot talk here. I will come to you later.’ A rush of activity heralded the beginning of the feast as music struck up and people settled down to eat, entertained by dancers. It was so far removed from anything she’d eve
r seen it was almost possible to think it was a dream, but it was very real. Somehow, she’d struck a deal with this man, one she secretly loved, to be his wife, but she’d never anticipated it would be so soon. She was trapped.
Mina approached them with a young woman at her side who offered her a single white flower. It was tall and elegant, its petals silky-soft as Destiny took it and smiled her thanks.
She almost jumped when Zafir’s deep seductive voice whispered close to her ear, ‘It is a symbol of fertility.’
She looked at him, wishing he wasn’t so close, so dangerously attractive. ‘She knows.’
Zafir smiled at her, the first genuine smile that made his eyes sparkle in a way she hadn’t seen since the morning he’d left her bed for the last time. ‘You have a friend and loyal servant in Mina.’
Destiny turned again to Mina, bowing her head slightly, and offered her thanks, wishing she’d had time to learn a few basic Arabic phrases, as ‘thank you’ in English didn’t quite convey her full gratitude.
For the next two hours, Zafir stayed diligently at her side as more token gifts were bestowed on her. The feasting grew noisier as people enjoyed the excuse to celebrate but Destiny couldn’t relax, not with Zafir’s threat of seeking her out later in her mind. What did he want now? They had already agreed on how to proceed, or rather he had told her how it would be. He had taken control. How could she expect anything less from a man such as Zafir?
‘Mina will escort you to your suite.’ Zafir’s words caught her attention as she watched the dancers, their exotic moves making her wish she could be as carefree as them. Maybe if she was, then she might have snared Zafir’s heart. As she looked up at him, his next words sent her emotions and her pulse rate completely off balance. ‘I will join you as soon as I can.’
Destiny knew this would be the final chance she had of settling things between them and, whatever he did, she would break off the engagement and leave. ‘Should Mina stay, for propriety?’
She couldn’t keep the challenge from her voice, couldn’t help goading him, and the narrowing of his eyes told her she’d achieved her aim. She must not give him the chance to talk softly to her, in that sexy tone which made her forget all her worries. She couldn’t let it happen. The only way she could see of leaving without any further implications was to antagonise him, push him so far he’d forget all about those hot nights when desire had claimed them both.
‘Mina will guard your secret well, just as she has been doing since our first night together. She believes we are in love and will do anything to help bring us together in marriage.’ The silky-soft tone of his voice was as challenging as her sharp words of moments ago.
‘Then I see I have little choice.’ Before he had a chance to form a reply she turned and walked from him, following Mina, who had been waiting to escort her back to her suite. Why did everything he said and did become a hurdle to climb over? No wonder Tabinah had run away. His need to control was overpowering.
CHAPTER TWELVE
ZAFIR STOOD OUTSIDE Destiny’s suite, bracing himself for the battle he knew he was about to face. Something was troubling her and he intended to find out exactly what it was, then remove that issue so that they could unite in marriage, enabling his child to be born in Kezoban and grow up as a future ruler within the bounds of a happy marriage. Maybe he did have to put his heart on the line, tell her how he felt. If he did, could she love him? The passion they’d shared made it plausible, but was it possible to force someone to love you?
He didn’t knock but strode in to find her standing in the middle of the suite, arms folded tightly, still wearing the deep purple and gold silks he’d sent for her. He didn’t even have the chance to close the door as her first words hurtled at him like a missile.
‘I don’t want to marry you.’ Her defiance, if it wasn’t so infuriating, would have been remarkable. She looked stunning, standing beneath the bright lights of the suite, her eyes flaming with anger and mistrust. But why? How had what they’d shared turned so sour?
‘The marriage is arranged. The announcement has been made. It cannot be undone. Next week you will be my wife.’ He clenched his hands in fury at the humiliation of being told he wasn’t good enough for her, that she didn’t want him. ‘It is my duty to my child to marry you.’
‘Duty?’ She gasped the question out at him and for a second he reeled with shock. Nobody had ever addressed him so, but he should be more accustomed to it from this woman by now.
He strode over to her, intent on making her see that marriage was the only option, that he would not have his child born out of wedlock and, worse still, in a foreign land. His duty was to his kingdom and producing an heir was part of that duty. Now that he knew she carried his child, he would do all it took to protect that heir.
‘Yes, duty. Something you are not at all familiar with.’ He recalled the challenging look she’d given her stepmother the first time they’d met.
‘How dare you?’ she hurled at him in indignation.
‘I dare because I will do anything for my child.’ He matched her anger with cool reserve, knowing now more than ever he needed to remain in control. It wasn’t right to upset her, not when she carried his child.
‘A child I can’t give you.’ The quiver of desperation in her voice wasn’t quite masked by her fury; if anything, it only revealed that there was much more to what she’d said than just those words.
‘You are talking riddles. Speak plainly.’ He narrowed his eyes, not sure what was coming next, but preparing to counteract it swiftly.
‘Very well.’ Her tone was flippant, her stance defiant and he resisted the urge to hold her arms and force her to look into his eyes in the hope that he could remind her of the passion and desire which had brought them together. He wanted to see that again, to know they could be like that once more. ‘I cannot have your baby, Zafir, simply because I don’t want to.’
A furious red rage fogged his mind. He’d thought they’d settled this. ‘What are you saying?’
‘That I cannot have the baby.’
An icy shard stabbed at his heart. Whatever the reason for such a bald and cold statement, he had to know it, had to find a way to fight it. ‘I will not allow you to do anything to my child and, if necessary, I will not let you out of my sight until it is safely born.’
‘It could cost me my life.’ The pain-racked sob which broke from her froze him to the spot. The raw agony in her eyes made him hurt, as if an unknown force was squeezing his chest so tight he couldn’t breathe. Memories of the night he’d lost Tabinah, of the guilt he’d carried ever since, mixed with the thought of losing Destiny. For the second time in as many days he faced the thought of life without her. He knew that life without the woman he loved would be impossible.
He couldn’t lose her, not now he’d found her.
He lowered his voice to a gentle whisper, letting go of all the anger she’d provoked in him, sensing a genuine need, a real cry for help from within her. ‘How do you know this?’
‘My mother...’ she swallowed down hard and when she continued her voice was a cracked whisper loaded with pain and fear ‘...she died soon after giving birth to my little sister—because of a hereditary disease.’
Why hadn’t she confessed her fears from the outset? Now her unwillingness to tell him she’d become pregnant was finally beginning to make sense. Gently he took her hand and led her to the cushions of the seating area, urging her to sit. Then he too sat and, holding her hands in his, cautiously continued, ‘What happened, Destiny?’
‘It’s a condition called antithrombin deficiency. She didn’t even know she had it and each pregnancy increases the risk to the mother.’ She looked up at him, tears shining in her eyes, and he fought hard against the need to hold her, to soothe her pain. This was something she needed to talk about first. His mind whirled. He had already alerted his physician to her pregnancy and he would know exactly what to do. He would give her nothing but the best medical care.
‘She
kept a diary but never made another entry after Milly was born.’
‘And that is why you don’t want our baby? You think you will be the same?’ He fought against the need to hold her tight, to infuse her with all the love he had for her in his heart in an attempt to heal her pain. But she’d told him she’d never wanted love and if he confessed his true feelings it might be too much—for her and the baby. ‘Can tests be performed to determine your health?’
‘Yes.’ She looked down at her hands, unable to maintain the contact they’d had over the last few minutes, and his heart felt crushed. She didn’t trust him enough to share it with him. How could he ever make their marriage happy if she didn’t trust him?
‘Why have you not been tested?’
She looked back up at him and the pain in her eyes wrenched at him, tearing him to pieces. He just wanted to make it right for her. But could he?
‘Milly had the test because she’s always wanted to get married and have children, but I’ve never been tested.’
His eyes narrowed. ‘Because you didn’t want children?’
‘Or marriage.’ The cracked whisper of her voice was more shocking than her admission. He was forcing her to do the very things she was trying to avoid and the fact that she was carrying his child was due to his mistake. He vividly remembered that first night when she’d had to remind him to use protection. All her pain now was his fault. He’d done this to her.
‘I’ve done everything as my mother did. She fell in love with a man who didn’t love her and then she was forced into marriage because of pregnancy.’
Her words dragged him back, but they were like a spear through his heart. She’d fallen in love with another man, one who didn’t want her. Was that why she’d spent that first night with him, giving him something he didn’t deserve? She’d been using him, using the powerful attraction between them to wipe away the memories of another man?
He couldn’t focus on that revelation now; he had to keep in mind that the child she carried, the one she didn’t want for fear of becoming ill like her mother, was his child, his heir.
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