Montana Cowboy's Baby

by Linda Ford

  “See that? She recognizes you.” Conner’s smile was warm. She was drowning in his approval, floating in the sky of his eyes, forgetting the boundaries she had in her role as her father’s assistant.

  Annie followed and stood watching her brother and the baby. “You look pretty comfortable caring for her.”

  “I’ve had a good teacher.” His smile was like warm honey to Kate’s insides.

  She had taught them what they needed to know. The family would now be responsible for making arrangements for Ellie’s care, she reminded herself. They did not need her help in doing so.

  Accepting the situation for what it was, she pulled herself together and turned to the brother and sister. “Ellie no longer needs my care.” Please ask me to stay. But what about Father? What about her decision to follow her dream to become a doctor? To not get overly involved with a family again? And especially one with a baby girl?

  Kate ducked her head, not wanting Annie or Conner to see her feelings as they stung her eyes.

  *

  Conner could hardly swallow past the tightness in his throat. He didn’t want to make other arrangements for Ellie’s care.

  “I’ll help all I can,” Annie said, “but my days are already full.”

  He nodded. Would Kate see how much she was needed here? Wanted here? Because she offered something that no one else could and he didn’t mean her expertise. He enjoyed her company, found her presence reassuring, and even with his inexperienced eyes, he could see that Ellie responded to Kate like she didn’t to anyone else.

  But it would be wrong to ask Kate to stay. She’d made it clear she planned to devote her life to medicine. He’d hoped she’d show some kind of relief or give him a bright smile when she learned he wasn’t Ellie’s father. But her response had been cold. Enough to inform him she wasn’t interested in accepting any attention from him.

  Not that he felt he could offer such. Ellie’s future held so many unknowns. Would Thelma return alone and seeking his help or with a husband in tow? A husband would leave Conner with no right to decide what was best for Ellie.

  He was reluctant to leave Ellie in someone else’s care, but he couldn’t continue to hang around the house. He had to pull his share of the workload on the ranch plus work on breaking his horses. Nor could Kate stay much longer. She had her own plans.

  God in heaven, send us Your answer. Send us help. Trust calmed his heart. It was strengthened as he remembered it was an oft-repeated prayer of his mother’s.

  He glanced past Kate. Annie had slipped away and they were alone, leaving him free to speak his heart. “Kate, you are more than a doctor’s assistant. You do realize that, don’t you?”

  She shook her head, her eyes cooling.

  “You admit you love this baby. Just as I do.”

  She started to turn away, but he caught her by the shoulder and her gaze returned to him.

  His heart stalled at the hungry, desperate look in her eyes.

  She stood upright and backed away. “I’ll see if Annie needs any help.” She walked through the door, crossed the dining room and went to the kitchen.

  She’d explained her reasons for choosing to be a doctor and denying herself a family. On one hand, they seemed noble and good. On the other…well, it sent regret pulsing through every part of his body. It was too great a sacrifice.

  Someone came to the door. He recognized Isabelle’s voice. Of course. The answer to his prayer. Why hadn’t he thought of her? She could help with the baby.

  The three young women visited in the kitchen. He couldn’t hear what was said but knew Annie and Kate would be bringing Isabelle up to date on recent events. Isabelle had popped over for a quick visit last night but didn’t linger, anxious to be back in her own home.

  He smiled at Ellie and whispered, “We’ll ask Isabelle to help with your care.” Even as he rejoiced in the answer to his prayer, his insides twisted. Isabelle would take the baby to her house. Conner wouldn’t be able to see her as often as he liked.

  The three ladies entered the room.

  Isabelle crossed to Conner’s side and squeezed one of his hands. “They said Jesse has called. I hope he can find Thelma quickly.”

  His jaw muscles twitched. “Ellie is going to stay here.” He knew he didn’t have the right to make such a claim, but his heart had spoken. He would do all he could to keep the baby.

  Isabelle looked from Kate to Conner and back again. “You’re going to stay here as well?” she asked Kate.

  “For a few more hours only.”

  “Then what happens to Ellie?”

  This was Conner’s opening. “I hoped you would agree to help.”

  “Me?” She drew back. “But I know nothing about babies. Not even how to feed them.”

  “Kate would show you, wouldn’t you?”

  Kate nodded, though she didn’t appear overjoyed about it. Dare he believe it meant she was reconsidering her decision? Conner hoped she would look at him. If she did, could he communicate his wish that she could be a more permanent part of Ellie’s care?

  Now hold on one minute, he warned himself. It was premature to be making future plans for the baby. Nothing could be decided about her until Jesse found Thelma. Besides, he knew Kate’s plans and they didn’t include a baby.

  Isabelle had turned to Kate. “Do you really think I could learn to look after her?”

  Kate chuckled. “If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a hundred times or more. You can do just about anything you set your mind to.”

  Isabelle laughed softly. “You’ve certainly said it a number of times. But that doesn’t mean you’re always right.”

  Kate smiled serenely. “But I am this time.”

  Isabelle looked at Ellie, who watched Conner as if trying to understand how this conversation would affect her.

  “She is very sweet. Yes, I’ll check with Dawson, and if he has no objections, I will help with the baby.” She grinned as if pleased with her decision.

  “Good.” Conner was pleased, too.

  “There you go. Things have a way of working out, don’t they?” Kate’s words, no doubt meant to sound encouraging, carried a note of regret. At least that was what Conner allowed himself to believe.

  Things were working out. But was it the way he wanted? Was it the way Kate truly wanted? He told himself to let it go. Kate had convinced herself this was what she wanted and he couldn’t foresee her changing her mind. “Could you stay one more night?” He was both reluctant to be alone with the baby and equally reluctant to bid Kate goodbye.

  She hesitated, then nodded. “This will be my last evening. I must get back.”

  After a bit, the ladies went back to the kitchen. Kate returned with another feeding for Ellie and hurriedly rejoined the others in the kitchen.

  “Well, little bitty one, it looks like we have things worked out for the next little while. Until Jesse locates your mother.” His satisfaction ended on that note.

  Even after Isabelle left, Kate stayed in the kitchen helping Annie prepare supper. Conner wondered if she stayed there to avoid confronting him. Or did she struggle with second thoughts about her decision?

  *

  Turning the care of Ellie over to someone else was a sign of Kate’s success as a medical person…cause for rejoicing. She had saved this baby from dying. Yes, Ellie would require a good deal of attentive care yet, but it was nothing Isabelle, with Annie and Conner and the entire Marshall family, couldn’t handle until Thelma was located.

  A shiver crossed Kate’s shoulders. If Ellie’s condition indicated how Thelma had taken care of her, finding Thelma could signal more problems for the baby.

  Surely Conner would see that the baby wasn’t neglected in the future.

  The rest of the day passed peaceably. The baby continued eating well. Not as much as a child her age should take, but a vast improvement over the first two days. Ellie slept while Conner and Kate joined the others at the kitchen table for supper.

  The conversation grew mo
re general as they finished the washing up. Kate prepared another feeding and took it into the sitting room.

  “I’ll try feeding her again,” Grandfather offered, and Conner shifted the baby to his arms. Kate waited until the older man looked comfortable, then spoke to Ellie, got her attention so she would eat.

  A contented silence filled the room, broken only by the sound of Ellie sucking until the opening of the outer door drew them all from the peaceful state.

  Isabelle rushed into the room. “Dawson says he approves of me helping with the baby. I can start tomorrow.”

  Conner crossed the room and squeezed his sister-in-law’s shoulders. “So glad to hear it.”

  Kate smiled at her announcement. “I’m very glad. She’s eating better with each feeding and perking up more all the time.”

  Isabelle studied the baby. “I haven’t seen enough of her to be able to judge that, but I’m glad you think so.” She straightened. “I can’t stay. I promised Mattie I would be right back to read to her.”

  “The child could come and say hello to her grandfather,” the older man said. Mattie usually ran in to talk to her great-grandfather after she got home from school.

  “She would have, but she was rather naughty and Dawson said her punishment was to stay in the house.”

  Grandfather harrumphed. “Seems as much punishment for me as for the child.”

  Isabelle bent to plant a kiss on his weathered cheek.

  “I’ll be sure to point that out to Dawson.” Calling good-night to them all, she left.

  Conner turned toward Kate. “Can you stay another night? I don’t think I can manage on my own.”

  Kate looked at the family gathered in the room. Grandfather holding the baby, his face wreathed in pleasure. Conner hanging over the older man’s shoulder, smiling at the baby. Annie in a chair next to her grandfather, also watching the baby.

  Bud sat across from his father, a pleased look on his face as he studied his family.

  A loving, caring family.

  A faded memory floated through her mind. Something lingered there that contained both joy and sorrow. She’d been aware of it off and on in the past. She stared at the opposite wall and waited for the shadows in her head to take shape, but nothing more came. Perhaps it was nothing more than something she had seen years ago. She shook her head and returned her attention to the people in the room.

  She was here only to provide medical help.

  When she left, they would continue on as usual. With the addition of little Ellie and, perhaps soon, Thelma as well. She could see them pulling her into their family in order to keep Ellie safe and in their midst. But they needed Kate tonight and that had to be enough for her.

  Ellie slept and, one by one, the others slipped out. Annie told Kate she was welcome to use the bedroom next to hers.

  Kate and Conner remained alone with Ellie.

  The baby slept sweetly in her basket.

  Kate got to her feet. “I’ll sleep a bit while the baby is sleeping. You should, too.” She escaped up the stairs before Conner could say anything.

  Used as she was to falling asleep whenever the opportunity arose, she lay awake a long time shepherding her wayward thoughts back into order. She ached at the thought of leaving. But it was the only thing she could do. If she had listened to her conscience, she would have left as soon as Isabelle said she would help with the baby. Telling herself it was too late in the day was not believable.

  Poor Father. She’d left him to manage on his own with hardly a thought to how he was doing. If he should have a memory lapse that caused him to make a mistake, she would forever bear the guilt. As soon as Isabelle came to get the baby in the morning, Kate would go home. Where she belonged. Her eyes closed and sleep came.

  She bolted awake. How long had she slept? She tiptoed down the stairs expecting to find Conner asleep, but he sat in the armchair, the baby basket pulled close so he could watch Ellie sleep. He lifted his face to her as she stepped into the room.

  The light from the low-burning lamp caught his features, making one side sharp and strong, the other soft and gentle.

  She stared. It was as if she saw two sides of him—the tough and the tender. A smile tugged at her lips. Could she think of a better way to describe this man?

  He beckoned for her to join him and she sat in the chair next to his. “She’s making little sounds in her sleep.”

  She bent to listen. “I hear it,” she whispered and turned to meet Conner’s smiling eyes. “Little sounds of contentment.”

  He reached for her hand and squeezed it. “Do you realize we’ve achieved that? When she came here, she was frightened, on death’s door, and now she lies here sleeping and content.” He pulled Kate closer until mere inches kept their foreheads from touching.

  She tried to resist, but sleep had left her weak and needy.

  He caught her chin and tipped it upward. “I’m grateful for all you’ve done. But more than that—” He studied her eyes, let his gaze drift down her cheeks and come to rest on her mouth. “More than that—” His voice had a husky tone that made her wish for the stars and moon. “More than that, I’m glad you truly care about her. What you give is more than medical attention.”

  Ellie snuffled louder and woke herself up.

  Kate jerked away from Conner’s touch and his look. “It’s time to feed her again. I can do it if you want to get some rest.”

  “Harder to rest than you would think.”

  She wondered if he struggled with the same confusing thoughts she did. “Conner, get some sleep. If you plan to take care of her at night, you will have to learn to sleep when she does.”

  “I suppose you’re right.” He made his way upstairs.

  Kate prepared the milk and held the baby while she ate. She changed the damp diaper and rocked Ellie, humming softly until she slept again, then laid her in the basket.

  She could take the basket upstairs and put it by her bed so she could waken if Ellie needed anything, but instead she sat awake, watching the baby sleep.

  Kate jerked awake to a soft noise. Her first thought was of Ellie and she checked the basket. Blinked. Pulled the lamp closer so it threw light into the basket. But the baby was gone.

  “Conner?” Her whisper choked from her throat.

  She remembered Conner had gone upstairs.

  She drew in a breath. Tried to calm her racing heart. The golden glow of lamplight drew her to the kitchen. She rushed into the room. Conner sat at the table. Her steps didn’t slow until she reached his side and pressed her hand to the warm bundle in his arms. “Is she okay?” Her voice trembled.

  “Fine as could be. I woke up and saw you were asleep, so we tiptoed out here. I’m getting ready to feed her.”

  “When I woke up and she was gone…” She shuddered.

  “Sorry. I didn’t mean to alarm you.”

  “I know and my reaction was completely out of the ordinary.” She yawned. “How long did I sleep?”

  They both glanced at the big clock over the doorway. “Three o’clock! She’s slept all this time and not a peep.”

  “Is everything okay?” Grandfather called from his bedroom.

  “Everything is fine,” Conner replied. “We’re just feeding the baby.”

  Ellie ate well. “Each feeding she takes a bit more.” It was cause for rejoicing and yet Kate felt a tiny, thin thread of regret. Kate no longer was required to be there.

  Already she felt the wrench of loss.

  How had she allowed herself to open her heart to the warm longings she had grown so adept at ignoring?

  That didn’t make sense. She didn’t ignore anything. She simply had other goals than family and babies of her own.

  As soon as she got back to Bella Creek, her life would settle back into her long-established routines and plans.

  *

  Conner sat at the table eating breakfast with the others when Isabelle hurried into the house. He grinned. She was eager to learn how to take care of Ellie. Bu
t she looked slightly frazzled. Isabelle never looked frazzled.

  “Kate, Mattie is sick. Can you come look at her?”

  “Of course.” Kate pushed from the table. “Let me get my bag.” She slipped into the sitting room to retrieve it.

  “It’s not serious, is it?” Pa asked. As his only grandchild for six years, Mattie held a special place in his heart. In the hearts of all the family. She had lived with them for several years before Dawson and Isabelle married. Now, of course, there were the three children Logan and Sadie had adopted, but they lived in town at present and so weren’t in and out of the house like Mattie.

  “She’s running a fever and vomiting. The poor child is miserable.” Isabelle wrung her hands. “I hope it’s not serious. It couldn’t be measles again, could it?”

  Kate rejoined them in time to hear. “You only get measles once. Let’s go have a look at her.”

  Conner and his family stared after the departing pair. The air in the room grew thin and hard to breathe. She was only going across the yard to Dawson’s house, but this strange feeling made him realize what life would feel like when she left.

  Nonsense, he informed his foolish brain. She’d been here only a few days. Nothing had changed. Except he had a baby girl to take care of and Thelma to find and get answers from and—he paused as the truth rose to the surface—a growing fondness for a woman whom he knew would walk away and seek her own goals, follow a path to the profession of her choice.

  Conversation flowed around him as the others discussed the possibilities of Mattie’s illness.

  They finished breakfast and Kate still did not return.

  Conner began to wonder if she needed help. But he couldn’t imagine a situation where she would require it. Especially given that Dawson and Isabelle were there as well.

  Annie put Kate’s plate of uneaten food in the warming oven and began to clean the kitchen.

  Ellie would soon need feeding. Of course, he could prepare the bottle on his own. Wouldn’t they soon have to manage Ellie’s care without Kate’s guiding hand? It was not a cheering thought.

  “When does Ellie need to eat again?” Annie asked.

  “Soon. But don’t worry. I can manage it.” He hoped he sounded more certain than he felt.