by Linda Ford
“Now, now, daughter. There are many good and innocent reasons for being unable to attend church.”
Her mind raced with some of those reasons as she and Father slipped into a pew. Accidents. Disasters. Her arms twitched. Had Grandfather fallen and done himself damage? Perhaps they had come on horseback. She looked about, but not a single person from the ranch sat in the pews.
Sadie, Logan and their three children were the only Marshalls in attendance. The pews in front of them remained empty and the adults glanced about several times. To Kate’s anxious mind, it appeared they were worried about the absence as well.
She sang when the hymns were sung, she listened though she could not have repeated one word of Preacher Hugh’s message. As soon as the benediction had been given, she was on her feet, standing in the aisle, waiting for Logan and Sadie.
Sadie told Beth to take the other children outside.
“Is something wrong?” Kate asked as soon as the children were out of hearing. The worried expressions in the faces of both Sadie and Logan said it all.
“We don’t know.”
Logan touched his wife’s hand. “I’m going to ride out there now.” He hurried down the aisle.
Kate grabbed Sadie’s hand. “Please let me know when you find out.”
Sadie nodded, distracted by her concern. “I will.” She went outside, collected her children and rushed them home.
Father patted Kate’s arm. “There’s nothing you can do. Let’s go home.”
She knew he meant she had no need to involve herself in this. Her job as a medical provider was over. It had never been easy for her to help people and then move on. Would she ever be able to distance herself as she should?
Somehow she managed to put dinner on the table and eat a portion of what she’d put on her plate.
There was pie in the pantry and she served Father a generous slice but didn’t give herself any. She’d never be able to eat pie again without thinking of Conner.
“Doc. Doc.” A man pounded on the door.
Kate hurried to allow him to enter.
“It’s my wife,” he said in a great rush. “She’s been trying to have the baby for two days now. She’s getting awfully weak. Can you come help?”
“I’ll be right there.” Father grabbed his bag from the office and joined the man. He paused only long enough to speak to Kate. “I’m sure everything is all right. Don’t worry.”
She knew he didn’t mean the anxious man at the door. He meant Conner and Ellie and the rest of the Marshalls. But his words brought no comfort to her.
He closed the door behind him and she leaned against it. “Lord God, keep them all safe. And please, please heal my heart. Give me courage and strength to do what I must do. What I’ve always meant to do.”
She pushed away from the door and returned to the kitchen to clean up the meal. It took longer than usual as several times she found herself with her hands idle in the dishwater and her eyes staring at nothing.
A little later, someone knocked at the back door, startling Kate from her thoughts.
She opened to admit Sadie.
Kate immediately became alert. “What did Logan find out?”
“Nothing too serious. Just a number of mishaps. The horses got the gate down and escaped just as they were about to leave, so they had to take care of that. Then there was a little fire behind the house. Logan says his pa thinks Thelma had been smoking out there. By the time they dealt with all that, it was too late to go to church and Pa didn’t think it was safe to leave with the fire just out.” She shuddered. “Fires always make people nervous, but even more so since Bella Creek suffered so much loss.” She managed a weak grin.
Kate sat back, her lungs emptying in a whoosh. “I imagined all sorts of horrible things.” She couldn’t even admit them to herself.
“All is well.”
“Join me for tea?”
“I’d love to. It’s been a long time since I sat in this kitchen with you. Remember the night we played games so long and loud your father came from his room and suggested we put an end to the night?”
It was shortly after they’d arrived and normally Kate was very protective of her father. “I felt bad about forgetting to be quiet. It seems like such a long time ago.”
For a while they talked about the early days when they’d first arrived in town. Kate carried her end of the conversation, but she really wanted to know about Conner and Ellie and Thelma. Not that she’d ever ask. It was not her business.
Sadie leaned forward, her face awash in sympathy. “I saw the way it was between you and Conner.”
“There was nothing to see.”
“If it’s any consolation, he looks as miserable as you.”
“No, it’s no consolation.” How could each word rip through her innards like a dull knife in a cruel hand? She did not want to think of Conner being miserable the rest of his life.
But what could she do about it? This was out of her hands.
Chapter Fourteen
The following Sunday morning, Conner joined the others for breakfast in the kitchen. In the week since Thelma had arrived, he’d kept Ellie with him at night. Thelma had taken over her daytime care for the most part, though he often came to the house to discover Thelma upstairs resting and the baby in Annie’s care.
He’d thought of suggesting the baby spend her days with Isabelle as she had before, but shouldn’t Thelma be taking care of her?
Ellie didn’t seem as happy. He missed the baby’s ready smile. At first he thought he was imagining that Ellie didn’t smile for Thelma, but a couple of day’s observation convinced him he wasn’t wrong.
He’d tried to ask Thelma why this was so. She had no answer. Just as she refused to explain why the baby was so thin.
All she did was shrug. “Some babies simply aren’t plump,” she said.
Conner suspected there was more to it than that.
Thelma did not join them for breakfast this morning, but then she had not done so since her arrival, straggling in as Annie finished dishes to demand a cup of coffee.
Conner had twice remained in the kitchen until she came down and watched her staring at her cup, unwilling to talk. The first day he had asked, “Are you okay? Will you be able to look after Ellie if I leave?”
She’d given him a burning look. “I’m perfectly capable.”
He almost shrank back from the venom in her words but wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of letting her know she had that much power over him.
Her gaze had gone to Annie, then as if remembering they weren’t alone, she got sweet and apologetic. “I’m sorry. I simply can’t function until I’ve had my coffee.”
He’d learned to leave as soon as she descended into the kitchen without trying to make conversation with her.
When time came to leave for church, Thelma shook her head. “I’ll stay home with Ellie.”
Pa looked about ready to order her to accompany them. He never accepted excuses for missing church, but he nodded. “Perhaps it’s for the best.”
Conner would not ask what Pa meant, but he guessed his father might consider it to everyone’s benefit to draw as little attention to the situation as possible until things were sorted out.
Conner rode into town and dismounted at the church. He had hoped that Kate would sit with him, but she shook her head when he tried to wave her over and sat two pews behind the Marshall family. He understood that she saw him as belonging to another woman and he sat with his family, trying to ignore the burning in the pit of his stomach at how complicated life had become. Thelma’s lies and his concern over Ellie trapped him in a place he didn’t want to be.
Preacher Hugh rose and began speaking. How could the man stand before them and proclaim God’s faithfulness when his son was still missing?
Hugh directed them to the forty-sixth Psalm and read, “‘God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mo
untains be carried into the midst of the sea; though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof.’” Hugh continued to speak of God’s trustworthiness in the midst of trouble.
Conner’s spirit calmed. God, You are all I need. You know the truth and have said the truth will make one free. Free me, Lord, from Thelma’s claim and her demands.
Kate hurried out before he could speak to her. Gone were the days they could spend the afternoon together.
Mrs. Grieves elbowed her way to Conner’s side and faced him with royal indignation. “We all heard Miss Bird and know the baby is hers. I trust you are going to do what’s right and marry her as she asked.” She sniffed. “I rather like that baby girl. She deserves a name.” She tapped Conner on the chest, a sharp annoying jab. “You created a bad situation. Now do what’s right to fix it.” She steamed away.
A dozen people watched and listened.
Conner sighed. At least his family had already left the church. He glanced over his shoulder. Hugh watched, his expression kindly. Perhaps the man was suspending judgment until he had all the facts.
Conner slowly made his way outside. His family had departed. Conner remained alone a moment, then turned to the cemetery and went to Ma’s grave and knelt on the warm ground. He tried to hear Ma’s voice. What would she tell him to do?
The truth shall set you free.
Was God directing him? But he’d told the truth. Thelma hadn’t. If there was the faintest possibility Ellie was his, he’d marry Thelma in an instant. Even knowing he wasn’t the father, he’d marry her to give Ellie a home if there existed even a thread of affection between them. There didn’t.
What could he do but hope and pray that Thelma would see how wrong it was to continue her pretense and her demands?
Feeling no closer to a solution than he had when he rose earlier in the morning, Conner went to his horse and swung into the saddle.
He studied the doctor’s house as he passed, hoping for a glimpse of Kate, though to what avail? Thelma’s accusations and demands must be dealt with.
But how?
It wasn’t until he got to the ranch that he realized Kate had accompanied Sadie and Logan. He jumped from his horse and rushed over to help her, retaining her hand after he helped her to the ground.
“I’m glad you’ve come,” he said, drinking in every detail of her features. Her hair was darker than Thelma’s. Strands had escaped beneath her bonnet and he tucked one back from her cheek. Her coffee-colored eyes widened. He ignored the warning in them. “You look nice.” She wore a dress the color of bluebells and, in fact, looked as fresh as one. No guile in her face. No worry about what hidden meaning existed behind her eyes.
“Thank you. I’ve come to see how Ellie is doing.” She stepped away from him. “Your pa asked me to check on her. Said he had some concerns.”
“Of course.” He must clear up this whole misunderstanding. No, it was more than that. Both he and Thelma knew perfectly well what the truth was. He needed to convince Thelma to admit the truth. Kate also knew the truth, but Thelma’s demands for marriage had to be dealt with before she created a public spectacle that would forever mar the Marshall name.
Kate had gone inside. Logan returned and the brothers took the horses to the barn and gave them feed and water.
Conner lingered, in no hurry to go to the house and face his unwelcome reality.
“What’s up, big brother? You seem upset.”
Conner shrugged.
“Why does Thelma say Ellie is your baby?”
“I don’t know what Thelma’s reason is, but I only want to protect Ellie. If people knew I wasn’t the father, then what would happen?” It was the question that kept him from taking any action. Would Thelma be willing to let her daughter be known as illegitimate? Would she whisk the baby away? He shuddered at the thought. Not for his sake, but for Ellie’s. Thelma didn’t seem to have any natural affection for her child. He tried to explain his reasons to Logan.
Logan studied the house again. “You have yourself in a real pickle, don’t you?”
“It’s not my doing, but that doesn’t make it feel any better.”
They made their way back to the house. Sammy threw open the door. “Hurry up. Dinner’s ready and I’m starving.”
Logan planted a hand on the boy’s shoulder. “You’re always hungry.”
“I know.” Sammy gave Logan such a look of admiration that Conner had to turn away. Logan had already forgotten Conner’s problems. His life had turned out to be very pleasant.
The meal was already on the table and Conner saw he was to sit by Thelma. She’d used the time the others were at church to curl her hair into ringlets that were tied up at the back of her head. She’d donned a pink satin dress with a lower neckline than he was used to seeing and he jerked his gaze from the view, heat stinging his cheeks. She’d applied some kind of makeup that made her look like a professional singer. Was that what this was about? She needed someone to care for the baby so she could return to singing?
He plucked Ellie from her basket, where he often found her in the daytime…as if Thelma had no interest in playing with her. He perched her on his knees and took the place beside Thelma.
Kate sat at the far end of the table between Sadie and Isabelle and they laughed together at something.
Thelma looked their way. “A private joke?” Her voice was gently chiding, though Conner knew she probably seethed inside that she wasn’t part of the circle of friends.
Isabelle smiled sweetly. “Not at all. I was telling them how Mattie has been making a doll for Ellie.” She turned to Mattie. “They said they are anxious to see it.”
Mattie grinned. “I sure hope Ellie likes it.” She looked at Thelma for approval.
Thelma said nothing.
“I’m sure she will.” Conner turned to the baby. “Won’t you, sweetie?”
Ellie met his eyes.
He could almost believe he saw pleading.
“Hi, Ellie,” Mattie said, and the baby smiled at her.
The conversation turned to other things as the meal progressed.
Thelma, as usual, ate very little.
He’d mentioned it to her once and she had given him an icy look. He wouldn’t mention it again.
He let the baby have a taste of his potatoes. The food dribbled down her chin and onto her gown.
“Now look what you’ve done.” Thelma rose and found a cloth to wipe up the mess. Her actions were rough and Ellie whimpered a protest.
Thelma sat back down with a sigh of exasperation.
Conner cupped his hand over Ellie’s head and pressed her to his side.
The meal finally ended.
Thelma rose. “I’m going to have a rest.” She swung her skirts as she left the room.
Was it only him or did the whole room breathe out relief at her departure?
The silence that followed her exit erupted into everyone talking at once.
Sadie clapped her hands—always the teacher. “Children, why don’t you go play while Aunt Isabelle and I help your aunt clean up this mess?”
The children scurried out.
“I’ll help, too,” Kate said.
Sadie pressed her hand to Kate’s shoulder. “I think you have a more important task.” She tilted her head toward Ellie.
Kate hesitated, but the longing in her eyes was more than evident. Conner handed her the baby and she cradled her closely. Ellie’s gaze locked on hers and Conner knew he saw the baby relax. Ellie smiled and gurgled.
“She’s missed you.”
Kate nodded. For a moment, he felt like things returned to the way they’d been before Thelma showed up—he and Kate enjoying Ellie together. Allowing himself to think of a future shared with Kate. He closed his eyes against the pain that pressed to the inside of his head.
“Hey, Conner,” Logan said. “Show us what you’re doing with your horses.”
Conner reluctantly went outside with the men. He’d
made great progress with one of the mares, so he didn’t mind letting the men see how well things were going. But he’d far sooner stay in the house and watch Kate feed Ellie. Hope for a chance to talk to her alone.
The visit to the horses took longer than he wished. He kept glancing over his shoulder toward the house. The women came out, Ellie in Kate’s arms, and wandered toward the garden.
He excused himself and hurried toward them. “Kate, wait.”
The other women eased away, leaving him alone with her. “Kate, I miss you. The baby misses you.”
Kate looked past him. “I’m sure things will work out for you.” She checked the position of the sun. “I need to get back.” She handed Ellie to him, hurried to catch up to the others and spoke to Sadie.
“Of course,” Sadie said and called to Logan.
Conner stood by helplessly, watching them prepare to depart. Before the wagon dipped out of sight behind the hill, he turned and strode into the house.
Grandfather sat alone at the table.
“Where’s Thelma?”
Grandfather looked toward the ceiling. “Still resting.”
Conner hesitated. Should he barge into her room and demand to speak to her? He decided it wouldn’t be proper. So he would have to wait for her to come down when she was ready. In the meantime…
As if in answer to his wish to see her, Thelma came into the room, yawning.
“Would you hold Ellie for me?” he asked Grandfather.
Grandfather took the baby and smiled at her. “We’ll entertain each other. I can talk as much as I want without boring you, isn’t that right?”
Conner watched the two of them, relieved to see the spark in Ellie’s eyes, even more relieved when she gurgled and cooed.
He turned back to Thelma. “Can we talk?”
“Say whatever you want.”
“Privately.” Perhaps without an audience, she could be persuaded to tell the truth. “In the sitting room.”
With a sound that clearly indicated his request required a great deal of patience on her part, she accompanied him.
He drew closed the seldom-used pocket doors.
She sat in the most comfortable-looking chair and studied her fingernails.
