Montana Cowboy's Baby

by Linda Ford

  The water jug was full and Conner dampened a cloth and wiped at Thelma’s face. She moaned. He took it for a good sign and continued to sponge her face and wrists.

  Annie joined him again. “I took Ellie over to Isabelle.”

  By now everyone within shouting distance had been alerted. Grandfather called up the stairs for a report and Annie went to tell him what she knew. Pa rushed into the room and stared at Thelma. He saw the brown bottle at her bedside. “Laudanum?”

  “I would think so.”

  “How long has this been going on?”

  “Since she arrived. I don’t know how long she’s been using it.”

  Pa crossed his arms. “We’ll see that she gets help to get off it.” Something crackled beneath the toe of his boot and he leaned over to pick up a paper from under the bed.

  Conner paid him little mind as he continued to try to bring Thelma from her stupor.

  “Do you know what this is?” Pa asked, shaking the paper he’d picked up.

  Conner jerked up at the half-warning, half-cautious tone in his voice. “What?”

  “It’s a birth certificate for Ellie. She’s registered as Elspeth Marshall.”

  “I was aware that Thelma had done that.”

  “You know what this means?”

  “It means Ellie is legally mine.”

  “I don’t understand why she did this.”

  “I don’t either. Maybe she’ll tell us once she regains consciousness.” Though none of his questioning had yielded a satisfying answer.

  She stirred again as he put the cold, wet cloth on her forehead.

  By the time the doctor arrived, she had opened her eyes, though she could keep them open only a second at a time.

  “Wait outside while I check her over,” Dr. Baker said, and Conner, Pa and Annie moved into the hallway.

  They heard Dr. Baker’s low voice and then Thelma’s weak answer.

  At least she was coming from the dark grips of that medicine.

  They waited until Dr. Baker stepped out of the room.

  “Is she going to be okay?” Annie asked.

  “It’s that medicine.” Pa got right to the point. “She has to stop using it.”

  “I’m afraid it’s not that simple,” Dr. Baker said. “Can we go downstairs to discuss this?”

  Conner did not like the somber sound of those words.

  They clustered about the table and the fact Annie didn’t offer Dr. Baker coffee signified the seriousness they all sensed.

  Dr. Baker looked around the table. “There is no easy way to say this. I’m sorry to inform you, but she is dying.”

  Dying? The word exploded into stunned silence.

  Dr. Baker hurried on. “She takes the laudanum to relieve her pain.”

  Annie recovered first. “What’s wrong with her?”

  “She has a tumor. It started here.” He touched his chest. “But I can feel lumps here and here.” He indicated his neck and under his arms. “It’s spread throughout her body. It’s just a matter of time.”

  “How long?” Again Annie asked the question.

  “I’m afraid I can’t say.”

  Conner heard the finality of the unfinished sentence.

  “Is she able to talk now?” Pa asked.

  “I believe she is. She’ll have good spells and bad spells.” Dr. Baker looked around the table. “You might need help caring for her.” He sighed. “It’s times like this I wish Kate was still here.”

  Every day I wish Kate was here. Conner’s insides ached at the mention of her name. Not that he needed any reminders. Her name, her face, every remembrance of her constantly filled his thoughts.

  “We’ll do what needs to be done,” Pa said. “But I’d like to talk to her right now.”

  The four of them returned to Thelma’s room.

  She looked at them. “To what do I owe this honor?”

  Pa took the birth certificate from his pocket. “I found this on the floor. We’d like an explanation as to why you’ve claimed Conner as her father when he insists he isn’t and we believe him.”

  “I had to,” Thelma said, her voice still wobbly. “I knew I was sick and I didn’t want her to end up in an orphanage if anything happened to me. I knew if she was a Marshall that you’d all make sure she was taken care of.”

  Conner found it in his heart to pity the woman. He sat beside her bed and took her hand. “According to this document, I am her father. She will always have a home with me.”

  Pa’s gaze went from Thelma to Conner. “I agree.” He turned to Dr. Baker. “Do you see a problem with this?”

  “Not at all. Being part of the Marshall family is the best thing for Ellie.” The doctor looked troubled.

  Thelma’s eyes drifted closed.

  “Time to let her rest.” Dr. Baker shooed them from the room.

  They went back downstairs. Dawson and Isabelle, Logan and Grandfather waited in the kitchen for the news.

  Pa told every detail.

  “What are you going to do about Kate?” Annie asked.

  “I don’t think there’s anything to be done. She’s at medical school where she belongs. It’s always been her dream.”

  “It’s your fault if you let Kate go.” Grandfather had no qualms about speaking his mind.

  “She’s gone. Left two weeks ago.”

  “The road goes both ways far as I can tell.”

  “Yeah,” Annie said.

  “Yeah,” Isabelle echoed.

  “They’re right,” his brothers added.

  Ignoring them, he scooped up Ellie. “I have a daughter to take care of.”

  They were kept busy the next few days with Thelma’s care until Pa rode to town and brought back Mrs. Gunderson. “She’s going to help with Thelma.”

  Conner made a point of visiting Thelma several times a day and of taking Ellie to see her at least once a day.

  On one of their visits, Thelma asked Mrs. Gunderson to leave the room. “I have something to tell you. You once asked why Ellie was so thin and why she didn’t like me.”

  “I never said she didn’t like you.”

  “Well, it was fairly evident. I didn’t realize how much work a baby would be and I resented it. I had to give up my singing because she needed me so much. I was angry at her and she seemed to know it. It made me even angrier when she would stare right through me. I’m sorry. She belongs here.”

  “Who is her father?”

  “You are. I made sure of that.”

  “I need to know if the real father will ever come looking for her.”

  “You can rest assured he won’t.”

  “Does he even know about her?”

  “No.” She swallowed hard. “To my shame, I can’t say for certain who the father is.”

  He kept his reaction to himself. Just as he’d keep that information to himself. When Ellie was old enough, he’d simply say her mother never told him who her father was.

  She turned to him. With Mrs. Gunderson measuring out her medicine more carefully, Thelma was clearer in her mind much of the time. “Conner, when are you going after Kate?’

  “Who said I am?”

  “If you don’t, you will regret it.”

  “You of all people should know that some people value a profession more than a family.”

  Thelma snorted. “You of all people should know that Kate isn’t anything like me. For one thing, she loves you enough to walk away because she thought it was the best thing for you.”

  “You must have taken too much medicine. You aren’t making sense.”

  “I’m perfectly clear in my mind. Listen to me.” She told how she had made Kate believe that staying around would jeopardize Ellie’s future.

  “You said that already.”

  “You didn’t listen. I told her we loved each other once when we made a baby together and we’d love each other again if she wasn’t around to confuse you. Then I told her I would take Ellie away if you didn’t marry me. Don’t you see? She only wa
nted to do what she thought was right.”

  “Maybe.” He wasn’t ready to throw caution to the wind.

  “If you don’t go after her, I’ll…I’ll…” She threw an arm over her forehead in a dramatic gesture. “I will die right here and now.”

  He chuckled. “I think Mrs. Gunderson might have something to say about that.”

  “Promise me you’ll think about it at least.”

  “Okay, I’ll think about it.” It wasn’t as if he could avoid doing so.

  His head said Kate had made her choice, been clear about it. His heart wondered if she might be regretting her choice.

  Everyone urged him to go after her.

  Was he going to let his pride stand in the way?

  Chapter Seventeen

  Kate sat at her desk and stared at the page of the textbook. The words swam mockingly. Vanity of vanities. All is vanity and vexation of spirit.

  It wasn’t that studies were difficult. But her heart simply wasn’t in them. Her heart was back in Bella Creek with Conner and Ellie. How long would it take to get over them?

  She pulled out a letter from Father. He wrote that he was pleased with Albert’s help. That Mrs. Stevens was showing improvement. He told her that they’d had a rainstorm with lots of thunder and lightning, but the letter contained not a word about Conner and Thelma getting married. Shouldn’t they be taking care of that? Ellie needed a forever family.

  She tucked the letter back in her pocket and focused on the words before her. But again it proved a struggle.

  Wouldn’t Father be disappointed if she failed her courses? That could not happen and she forced herself to concentrate.

  Day after day, she fought the same battle. It drove her to her knees as she begged God to ease the way the memory of her days in Bella Creek tugged at her.

  Slowly, as she expected, she learned to concentrate on the books and the lectures. She would become a doctor. She’d make her father proud. Her mind made up, her heart steadfast, she opened her notes on the latest lecture.

  But the words swam before her eyes like frantic fish. Perhaps she could walk away her confusion. She’d discovered a park not far away, close to the nearest bus stop, and she grabbed a shawl against the autumn chill and headed outside.

  She filled her lungs with the scent of fall. The air carried less appealing smells—smoke, animal, too many people—and served only to make her even more homesick.

  God, help me to find contentment.

  She turned a corner. A cowboy got off the bus.

  Her heart slammed into her ribs, making her unable to breathe. Would she ever see a man in a cowboy hat and not have this visceral reaction?

  Wanting to avoid seeing the man any closer, she angled across the street toward the park, seeking solace beneath the spreading branches of an oak tree. The leaves had started to change color and a red one fluttered to her feet.

  Like an echo of her heart.

  Closing her eyes, she tried to pray, but her pain could find no words. Only a long, agonizing ache for relief. Time would heal her wounds. But would she ever be completely whole again? No. Part of her heart would forever remain back in Bella Creek, at the Marshall ranch with Conner and Ellie.

  “Kate.” Her name came on the whisper of the breeze.

  She sucked in air, trying in vain to still the raging turmoil of her heart.

  “Kate.” The voice grew stronger.

  She struggled against her pain, wanting only forgetfulness.

  “Kate.” Why must the voice grow stronger, more insistent when she worked so hard to put those memories behind her?

  “Kate, open your eyes.”

  Her eyes flew open. She stared. Was this a dream? “Conner?”

  He smiled.

  “Is it really you? What are you doing here?”

  “I came to see you.” He stood inches away. She drank in his features. The bronze of his sun-blessed skin, the sky in his eyes, the fringe of wheat-colored hair. If she wasn’t mistaken, his gray felt hat was new.

  She tore her gaze from him, settling it on another red leaf on the ground to the side. “When are you and Thelma getting married?”

  He shifted to the right to intercept her gaze and waited for her to raise her eyes to meet his.

  “Didn’t your father tell you Thelma is dying?”

  Her mouth worked, but not a single word made its way from her stunned brain.

  “I’m sorry.” She felt nothing but sorrow at the news.

  “We won’t be getting married. I never planned to. I don’t love her.”

  She nodded. What did he expect from her?

  “You were right when you said Ellie needed a mother and a father. Kate, marry me and we can give her that.”

  The pulse in her throat thudded sluggishly. “A marriage of convenience for the sake of the child?” It seemed noble and self-sacrificing. Could she do it?

  He chuckled. “That is not what I have in mind.” He edged closer. “Kate, surely you know it’s you I love. Why else do you think I kissed you?” His gaze dropped to her mouth.

  She rolled her head back and forth, unable to allow herself to believe his words.

  “Kate, I’ve come to the city to find a job and a place to live. I’ll bring Ellie and find a nanny for her.”

  “Why?”

  He took her hands and pulled them to his chest. “Because I can’t live without you. I’ll follow you as you follow your dream.”

  “My dream?” What was her dream? She knew the answer. It stood right before her, within her grasp. All she had to do was believe it could be hers. She would not let her fears control her future.

  “This—” she swept the area with her gaze “—is not my dream. I’m not even sure I want to be a doctor. I like helping people, but not in that role.” Suddenly Grammie’s words made sense. You have the gift of caring. Nothing would give her more joy than caring for those in her family—Conner, Ellie, Grandfather, each and every one.

  She slipped her hands from his and pressed her palms to his cheeks. “Conner, I want to go home.”

  He wrapped his arms about her and pulled her close. “Kate, I love you. Will you marry me?”

  “Conner, I have loved you a long time…in fact, maybe forever. You are the answer to the loneliness in my heart that is as old as I am. You are the fulfillment of all my dreams. I don’t want to ever be where you aren’t. But before I can say yes, I must talk to my father. He expects me to become a doctor.”

  “Then all you have to do is tell him the truth. When he sees how much you love me, he will give his blessing.”

  She chuckled as joy exploded in her heart, flooding her whole being. She loved him so much and could now let her feelings have life.

  “You understand Ellie comes with me?”

  Her merriment filled her eyes. “Your daughter is my daughter. I couldn’t love her more.”

  She lifted her face to him, inviting a kiss.

  His eyes were bright as a July sun as he accepted her invitation.

  His lips were warm and possessive, laying claim to her heart, her dreams and her love.

  She wrapped her arms about his waist, pressed one hand to his back and returned the same promises—her heart, her dreams, her love—for now and always.

  *

  Kate’s return home was met with joy from the Marshall family and Father. “I’ve missed you,” he said. “You’re needed at the Marshall ranch. Mrs. Gunderson has been called away to help her daughter.”

  “Conner and I have already discussed it. I want to take care of Thelma.”

  Father hugged her. “It’s good to have you back.”

  “I’m sorry about giving up on being a doctor.”

  “I’m sorry for causing you to think you should follow our plans. I’m happy to know you are going to have the family you’ve always wanted.”

  “Oh, Father, I have always had a family with you and Mother. I’ve always known I was loved.”

  Father smiled. “Yes, you are.”

>   She moved to the Marshall ranch the next day to tend Thelma, shocked at how much she had deteriorated. Many days she simply slept, others she wakened for brief periods, often too weak to speak, but there were days she seemed driven to talk.

  “I’m glad you and Conner are going to marry. You both deserve happiness. Tell me you will always love Ellie.”

  “I promise.” She held Thelma’s thin hands. “But you know I love her so much already that it brings tears to my eyes.” Isabelle and Annie helped with the baby’s care as Kate tended Thelma, but Kate spent as much time with the baby as possible, rejoicing over every new thing she did.

  Ellie bounced with excitement when she saw Conner or Kate.

  “I want to see you and Conner married before I go.”

  Conner and Kate had discussed it and decided it didn’t seem appropriate to marry with Thelma on her deathbed. “We’ve decided to wait.”

  Thelma grabbed her arm. “You can’t.”

  Kate blinked. “Why not?”

  “I want to make sure everything is legal and above board for Ellie. You need to get married and then legally adopt her.” Thelma grew agitated. “I want this done proper.”

  “Quiet down. I’ll talk to Conner about it.”

  “Do it right away.”

  “I will.” She waited until Thelma fell asleep, then went looking for Conner. She found him with his horses, as she knew she would. He found satisfaction in working with the animals. He saw her coming and vaulted the fence, trotting to her side. “Everything okay?”

  She told him of Thelma’s concerns.

  “It makes sense. I know I would feel better to have every possibility covered. I’ll talk to the lawyer.” He took her hand. “Do you need to hurry back?”

  Thelma was sleeping. Ellie was with Isabelle, so they walked hand in hand along the path that led to the creek and spent a pleasant hour talking about the future.

  “I have no house for you yet. I had hoped to get a cabin built before we married.”

  “Does it matter where we live? All that matters is we are together.”

  “We’ll have to stay here for you to take care of Thelma.”

  “That’s fine with me.”

  He went to see the lawyer that afternoon. Preacher Hugh came to the ranch at Conner’s request and he agreed he would marry them at the ranch as soon as they wanted.