A feeling of safety.
She’d never felt so safe, so secure in her entire life, not even when she’d been a child. Marina thought that she was probably reading things into this moment, but for now, she was content just to enjoy the sensation. To enjoy the feeling of his arms around her. To enjoy the calming pretense that she was Anderson’s wife and that Anderson was her husband.
To enjoy the pretense that she was one half of a couple.
Reality would be on her doorstep all too soon, but not now. Not yet.
* * *
Marina resisted waking up.
The dream she was having, had been having, was too strong, too good to release. She wanted to hang on a little longer, cling to it and pretend that it was real for just a few more moments.
But something nudged at her consciousness, reminding Marina that the rest of her life was waiting for her. With a reluctant sigh, she opened her eyes—and saw that Anderson was lying next to her, propped up on his elbow and watching her.
“What are you doing?” she asked self-consciously. Was he regretting marrying her already? Had another plan occurred to him, one in which he didn’t need her to play the role of his wife? Had he realized how disappointing she was in bed?
These and so many other thoughts assailed her as she struggled to get her bearings.
“I’m watching you sleep. And now,” he continued with a smile she found infinitely sexy even with her nerves vibrating at top speed, “I’m watching you wake up.”
Maybe it was going to be all right? It struck her as a question rather than a statement. “Are you that bored?” she asked hesitantly.
“I’m not bored at all,” Anderson told her, allowing his fingers to slowly trail along the hollow of her throat. Arousing himself, arousing her. “Not by a long shot.” His lips slowly made their way to the other side of her neck. “Last night was eye-opening,” he whispered softly, his breath arousing her further.
She was having a very difficult time just lying there, having him doing what he was doing without responding. She didn’t want him thinking that she demanded anything from him in any way.
“How so?” she breathed.
His voice was low and incredibly seductive. “I had no idea you were so talented, so skilled in so many different ways.”
“You’re laughing at me,” Marina said, struggling to keep her eyes from shutting, to keep herself from drifting away.
“I might want to do many things with you, Marina, but laughing at you is definitely not one of them,” he told her.
She was trembling again. Maybe she hadn’t disappointed him last night and what had happened between them wasn’t an isolated occurrence.
Her heart was hammering hard as she whispered, “What kind of things?”
“I’m a man of few words, Marina. I’m a lot better at showing what I mean rather than saying what I mean,” he said.
Her pulse was practically beating right out of her body as she whispered, “Well, then I guess you’d better show me.”
His smile went straight to her inner core as he said, “I thought you’d never ask.”
* * *
Marina felt as if she had somehow unwittingly stumbled into a dreamworld. For one week, one wondrous week, absolutely everything was perfect. She didn’t think it was humanly possible to be happier.
She moved in with Anderson, went to work every day to teach her students and came home each night to her little family. A family that she had every hope would be increased by one very soon.
Even Sydney, who had always been such an easy baby, seemed somehow happier than usual. And Lindsay had found them a lawyer who was certain that with everything that was going on, winning partial custody of Jake was all but a done deal.
And then on the afternoon of the eighth day, everything changed.
Marina drove up in her car to see another, unfamiliar vehicle parked right in front of the ranch house. Seeing it brought along a sense of vague uneasiness. She was familiar with all the cars and trucks that the members of Anderson’s family drove and this vehicle didn’t belong to any of them.
It could just belong to one of Anderson’s friends, someone she wasn’t acquainted with, but for some reason, she didn’t believe that. Instead, all sorts of bells and alarms insisted on going off in her head.
Something was wrong.
She could feel it in her bones.
Part of Marina wanted to turn around and drive right back to school, to find some paperwork she’d forgotten about and needed to finish—except that she knew that there wasn’t any. She was, among other things, conscientiousness personified. Her reports were always in ahead of time and never just under the wire, much less forgotten about.
Besides, if there was something going on, she needed to face it. Running away didn’t make it disappear; it just prolonged the inevitable moment when she had to face whatever it was that was happening.
It was probably nothing.
It didn’t feel like nothing.
The argument in her head went on for a prolonged moment, and then Marina forced herself to walk into the house.
Rather than enter and brightly announce, “I’m home,” the way she had been doing for the past week, Marina quietly let herself into the house, all but tiptoeing in. Not because she wanted to catch Anderson doing something he shouldn’t, but because if there was something going on she needed to be prepared for, having a moment to observe what that something was might be helpful.
The next moment, as she soundlessly approached the living room, she could hear two people talking. And just like that, she could feel her soul shrinking back not in fear, but in total distress.
One of the voices belonged to Anderson, the other to some woman.
A woman whose identity quickly made itself known by what she was saying.
The other woman was Lexie, Jake’s mother. And Anderson’s former lover.
The thought throbbed over and over in her head: Lexie was standing in the living room.
In her living room.
If her heart had sunk down any farther, it would have gone straight through the floor.
Rather than step forward, Marina remained frozen in the shadows, listening to what they were saying. It quickly became apparent that the woman had gotten here only a couple of minutes ago.
And Lexie did not sound as if she was leaving.
The next second, Marina realized that the woman had brought Jake back with her. Maybe this wasn’t as bad as she’d thought. Maybe things were finally falling into place.
But the knot in her stomach didn’t think so.
“Jake,” Lexie said, “why don’t you go to your room? I want to talk to your dad.”
Anderson knew his son, having just gotten here, was reluctant to go anywhere. He wanted to stay near his father. “Can’t I stay with you, Dad?” he pleaded.
“You are staying with him, Jake,” Lexie told her son impatiently. “Now listen to me and go to your room,” she said. Her voice softened the next moment as she added, “Just for now.”
“Do as she says, Jake,” Anderson told his son, releasing the boy after he’d hugged him. “We’ll talk in a few minutes,” he promised.
“Okay.” Jake reluctantly obeyed and shuffled out of the room and then up the stairs.
“All right, Lexie, you’ve gotten the boy out of the room. Now what’s this big thing you want to say to me that you can’t say in front of Jake?” Anderson wanted to know.
There was a long pause, as if Lexie was searching for the right words—or her courage. “I wanted to apologize,” she finally told him stiffly.
“For?” Anderson asked, somehow managing to hide his surprise.
This was obviously hard for her, but Anderson wasn’t about to make it any easier. He stood there in silence,
waiting for her to go on.
“For using you,” Lexie finally said.
“You’re going to have to be more specific than that,” he told her gruffly. “What you just apologized for wasn’t a onetime deal.”
“When we...had that one night together,” Lexie began, struggling with each word, “I was seeing someone else at the time.”
Over time, Anderson had assumed as much. “Go on,” he instructed.
She closed her eyes for a moment, searching for words. “When I realized I was pregnant, I panicked. I figured I could pass the baby off to my boyfriend as his. For a while, he wasn’t the wiser and I really didn’t think you’d care one way or the other—after all, it was just a fling between us,” she reminded Anderson. “Anyway, my boyfriend and I got married and for a while, everything was good.” Her expression became more somber. “But it didn’t last. To be honest, I don’t think that Jake remembers him at all.”
She took a breath, then continued. “I guess what I’m actually apologizing for is keeping Jake and you apart all this time. A boy needs his father. I can see that now. Ever since I brought Jake back home with me, he’s been completely withdrawn and sullen. I realized that it’s because he misses you so much.”
“So you’ve decided to give me partial custody?” Anderson asked hopefully. He couldn’t see this heading in any other direction, but he took nothing for granted when it came to Lexie.
“Better than that,” Lexie told him, smiling broadly for the first time and obviously very pleased with herself.
“Go on,” he urged when she paused to bask in what she was about to tell him.
“I wanted you to know that I’m making a fresh start, Anderson. I’ve decided to move here to Montana so that you and Jake can see each other on a regular basis.”
The cry of dismay escaped Marina’s voice before she could stop it.
Chapter Eighteen
Hearing the stifled cry, Anderson immediately left Lexie and went around the corner that separated the living room from the foyer. He was surprised to find Marina standing there.
“Marina, when did you get home?” he asked, puzzled why she hadn’t just come in when she heard him talking to Lexie.
Marina was trying her very best not to look flustered. She would have loved to have just disappeared into the woodwork, and silently upbraided herself for calling attention to herself this way.
“Just now,” she answered, hoping she didn’t look as upset as she felt, especially when Lexie stepped into the foyer.
What she had just overheard had knocked the very air out of her lungs. She felt numb. If Lexie was moving here to Montana, to live somewhere close to Anderson so that Jake could interact with his father, then there was no need for Anderson to remain married to her. Just like that, she had outlived her usefulness.
“Ms. Laramie?”
All three adults turned at the sound of the high-pitched, elated cry. Jake came flying down the stairs and went straight to Marina.
“I thought I heard your voice!” he cried happily, throwing his arms around her waist and hugging her as hard as he could.
Lexie looked completely put out by her son’s obvious display of affection.
“Jake, I thought we told you to stay in your room,” she said, clearly annoyed that Jake had disobeyed her. “See what I mean?” she asked, turning toward Anderson. “He doesn’t listen to me anymore. He always listened to me before he came out here,” Lexie lamented.
“Maybe you’re mistaking listening for just not hearing you,” Anderson tactfully pointed out, much to the other woman’s obvious displeasure. “When he first came here, he was completely consumed with video games. Someone could have told him he was on fire and he wouldn’t have paid any attention. It was Marina who turned him around, who got him to pay attention and to study. She saw the lonely kid that neither one of us realized was there and found a way to reach him.”
Marina, still hugging Jake, looked at Anderson, utterly stunned and totally pleased. She had no idea that any of this had actually registered with Jake’s father. She had just assumed that Anderson thought his son had come around on his own. She certainly wouldn’t have pointed it out to him. She had never been out for any credit; she only wanted the boy to be happy. The sadness in his eyes had made her determined to turn him around.
For her part, Lexie looked completely surprised at the revelation.
“Is this true?” she asked. Her question was open-ended. As it stood, it could have been intended for either her son or for Marina.
It was Jake who replied. He looked up at his mother, answering her question almost shyly.
“Ms. Laramie talks to me. She makes me feel good about myself, like just because I didn’t know what all the other kids knew didn’t mean that I couldn’t learn.”
Lexie looked taken aback and somewhat humbled. “Is this true?” she asked, looking at Marina.
Marina was at a loss as to how to answer. She really didn’t want to sound as if she was bragging, or trying to come between either Jake and his mother, or Anderson and Jake’s mother. But she didn’t want to lie, either.
She settled for something simple and vague. “Every child just needs a little guidance to help access his or her full potential. That’s my job as a teacher,” Marina said.
Lexie’s expression softened somewhat. She even smiled a little.
“So I guess I did a good thing by bringing Jake here,” Lexie said. “Thanks,” she told Marina and then turned toward Anderson. “I was thinking of leaving Jake here with you so he can enroll back in school while I go back to Chicago and make all the necessary arrangements to move our things out here.”
Suddenly Marina felt as if she was intruding on family business. “Why don’t I just go see about getting dinner ready while you two talk logistics.”
Jake popped up in front of her. “Can I help?” he asked her eagerly.
Marina thought that Jake was probably better off staying with his parents, but he looked so enthusiastic, she didn’t have the heart to turn him down.
“Of course you can,” she told Jake fondly, putting her arm around the boy’s shoulders. “Have you seen Sydney yet? I know that she’ll be so happy to see you,” Marina told him as they walked into the kitchen.
Jake looked surprised by the news. “Sydney’s here in the house?” he asked happily. “Where?”
The playpen had been empty when she’d entered the living room. “Well, since I didn’t see her when I walked in, I guess your dad probably put her down for another nap in her room.”
“Sydney has her own room here?” Jake asked her, surprised and clearly excited by the news.
That was when she realized that Anderson probably hadn’t told his son that they were married. She was tempted to tell him herself, but that would have been selfish of her, done for ulterior motives. This wasn’t her story to tell.
Besides, maybe Anderson didn’t want to tell Jake that they had gotten married. There was no longer a need for that charade to continue and maybe it was just easier for him not to say anything at all about it. That way, the boy wouldn’t get confused, she reasoned, doing her very best to be objective about the situation rather than emotional. But it was hard to deny the way she really felt.
Jake, she realized, was still waiting for her to explain why Sydney had her own room here. “It’s easier when she goes down for a nap to put her somewhere that she won’t be disturbed,” Marina explained.
“Oh.” The excuse seemed to satisfy him. “Want me to set the table?” he volunteered brightly.<
br />
She was throwing together pulled chicken, which she had already prepared the night before, along with several vegetables that just needed to be steamed. All that was really left to be done was to mix everything together in a big pot on the stove and warm it up. That wouldn’t take very long.
She gave Jake an encouraging smile. “That would be very helpful.”
The moment Jake left the room, his arms loaded down with dinner plates, Marina felt her eyes beginning to sting.
She wasn’t going to cry, she told herself. She was going to hold it together for Jake’s sake and then, after dinner, she would collect her daughter and go back to her apartment. She’d given her notice to the landlord at the beginning of the week, but if she appealed to the man’s better nature, he might allow her to rescind it. That meant that she could just go back to living in the apartment.
And, with any luck, she could get her life back on track in about a dozen years or so, she thought as a tear spilled out.
Damn it, she wasn’t going to go to pieces. She wasn’t, she told herself sternly. The last thing she wanted was for Anderson to feel sorry for her—or to have him be shamed into letting her remain on the ranch.
For all she knew, now that Lexie was back, maybe he would even pick up their relationship where it had dropped off twelve years ago. Stranger things had been known to happen. After all, they did have a child together.
Marina heard a noise behind her. Jake was back for the rest of the dinnerware, she thought. The boy moved fast.
“Don’t forget, knives on the right, forks on the left,” she told him automatically. She kept her back to him, not wanting Jake to see her cry. There would be endless questions if he did.
An amused voice asked, “And where do the spoons go?”
Caught off guard, Marina dropped the spatula she was using to stir the pulled chicken. She whirled around to face Anderson.
“Sorry,” she apologized, immediately lowering her eyes. “I thought you were Jake. He’s setting the table.”
A Maverick and a Half Page 17
