by Cate Corvin
The question was how much I could withstand before my body was permanently broken.
I turned around and closed my eyes, ensuring my shield around Sarai was intact. My magic didn’t seem bothered by Inanna’s light, settling into place and leaving the rest of me exposed to whatever Ereshkigal had planned.
The sound of her feet scraping almost made me shiver as she stepped up behind me. A clawed hand ran over my back, splitting the remainder of the torn silk shift I wore and leaving my back exposed.
It was horrible, how gentle she was. I would’ve preferred anger and rage to this almost tender contemplation of how badly she was going to hurt me.
Ereshkigal ran her fingers through my hair, then coiled it over my shoulder. I heard her sharp inhale before she could cut it short.
“What is this?” Despite the question, I didn’t think she was really asking me at all as she ran a single fingertip over the violet star emblazoned on the nape of my neck. She sounded like she already knew, currents of rage flowing beneath her calm tone.
Her finger settled on the back of my neck, still pressed against the star. Goosebumps rose all over my body at the feeling of her cold breath on me.
A sharp pain lanced through my nerves as her claw pierced my skin. Hot blood trickled over my shoulder and pooled in the hollow of my collarbone.
“Beloved of my blood,” she hissed. “Is there nothing you’re not determined to take for yourself? Deny it all you want—but you are exactly like my sister.”
Without warning, darkness made solid snatched at my wrists and jerked my arms up over my head. Tentacles wrapped around my wings and stretched them out, leaving the entire expanse of my back exposed, and chained my ankles in place.
Beloved of my blood? I didn’t want to think about that now. I couldn’t think about that, not with what was coming.
Because he still wasn’t here. He hadn’t come for me, despite all this torment.
She stepped away, putting several feet between us, but the relief was short-lived.
The whip ripped across my back without warning. An endless shriek tore out of me, echoing through the skull, but I didn’t hear it. All I felt was agony, felt the sluice of blood over my spine, felt the spikes of the whip pulling my skin away—
Then it faded, the pain washing away like cool water had been poured over me. I took several quick breaths, biting down on my lip hard to hold back the next scream that might escape me.
My back still prickled where Ereshkigal had whipped me, but the pain had faded completely. The shield around Sarai was still strong.
The borrowed warmth of Inanna’s power flowed through me, spilling through my veins, making me feel like a vessel full of light. It washed away the agony, healed the wound on my back, and cradled around Sarai, adding another layer of protection to my daughter.
Together, something whispered in my mind. We are as one.
I squeezed my eyes tightly shut, every muscle quivering as I waited for the next blow.
Ereshkigal didn’t disappoint. She made a noise of disgust as the wound healed in front of her eyes, then brought the whip down again, and again, and again.
I was screaming. It was impossible to hold back. As soon as fire streaked across my back and sank in with sharp claws, she was hitting me again, opening crisscrossed slashes, bringing the whip down across the back of my thighs and calves.
Blood pooled under and around my feet, hot and sticky, filling the Ivory with the thick scent of copper.
Not even Inanna’s borrowed power could match her wrath. One wound healed, and two more were opened over it. I felt the golden light struggling to keep up, slow and tired after millennia of being trapped inside a dead goddess, but desperate enough to try.
Ereshkigal brought the whip down with a snap over the violet star, the spikes cutting down to the bone.
I lost consciousness, drifting in a black abyss of nothing with pure relief.
We do not surrender. Inanna’s voice cut through the blessed nothingness. We make war for love. Wake up.
Consciousness smashed into me like a comet, bringing me back to the pain, back to the endless onslaught.
The golden light healed me, and slowly trickled out of my limbs, leaving them exposed. It was faded, almost completely used up, but I exhaled a ragged sigh of relief when the remainder of it curled around Sarai like a mother bear.
The smell of my blood made me want to throw up almost as badly as the pain did. It was so cloying I could taste it, copper coating my tongue.
“How much more can you take?” Ereshkigal breathed in my ear. “Your beautiful music has run dry.”
My throat ached from screaming. She wouldn’t get any more music out of me now.
She found the soft skin at my ribs and pinched me with her claws, but all I could do was make an awful rasping sound, trying in vain to pull away from her.
She dragged her claws over my sides, her hands shaking like she wanted to dig into my guts and rip them out. Thin slices opened everywhere she touched, and then her icy breath touched my neck again.
I knew she was looking at the star.
Why hadn’t he come yet? Surely he felt this pain, because it was a pain that blinded me, that threatened to tear down my entire world.
“How dare you,” she whispered, and ran her bitterly cold tongue over the bleeding mate mark on my neck. Her saliva stung the open wound like acid.
Ereshkigal froze and withdrew. As soon as her icy presence was gone, the heat of my whip-reddened skin was almost unbearable.
The darkness holding me captive twisted me around, but I couldn’t raise my head to look at her. My temples were pounding in sick, pulsing waves, and the floor with its bloody mess was wavering in and out of clarity.
“Oh my,” she said to herself, licking her lips. The crone stepped into sight, blurred at the edges, and lapped the drying blood on my clavicle. “Yes.”
She drew the s out in a long hiss that chilled my blood, growing young and tall again. Ereshkigal’s claws lifted my limp head under my chin, forcing me up to look at her. “My dear little bird. Sweet, precious pet.”
I almost preferred the lashes to this careful stroking of my cheek. She looked at me like she’d never seen me before, all rage forgotten.
“You are with child,” she crooned. She cupped my face, eyes glistening.
“No,” I rasped, desperate to lie to the end, but my worst fear had arrived. I’d naïvely thought, after Satan tasted my blood and noticed nothing, that my secret was safe.
It seemed Ereshkigal was not quite so easy to fool.
She smiled indulgently at me, running her thumbs along my cheekbones. “You cannot lie to me, lovely bird. I taste the child in you. There is nothing so sweet as the blood of an innocent.”
Suddenly her smile didn’t seem so indulgent. It was hungry, her sharp incisors flashing.
“You should have told me,” she chided softly. “I would have spared you all this pain.”
I spat blood at her. I’d bitten right through my lower lip when she savaged me.
Ereshkigal wiped the flecks off her face and looked down at her fingers. Her gaze was completely empty when they rose to my face. “For giving me this gift, I will heal you. All of the agony will vanish. I shall even allow you freedom.”
“She’s not yours.” My words were barely intelligible, grated out through a broken throat. “She’s not for you.”
Ereshkigal gripped my chin and shook my head a little, making the world spin around me. “She? How lovely. Females are much more tender, in my experience. More toothsome than souls, by far.”
She was actually salivating, her tongue running across her lips. My stomach heaved once, twice, then seemed to shrivel up inside me.
All hope really was lost now.
“You must see my point of view, pet, the view of a queen: when you eat your rivals, the fresh-born blood of royalty, you ensure another will never rise to take your place.” She whispered it like she was conferring a great secret to
me. “Better to consume them all than let them live to steal your crown, and when you eat them, you eat their power. You carry a threat not only to me, but to you; it is better to accept her fate now. Perhaps, if you are gracious about it, I will even allow you to walk out of here alive, and you may take that advice back to your broken city. Rule in your own right, and remember to destroy all who come after if you wish to keep your throne.” Her face brightened even more. “Dis and Kur were always sisters, but torn asunder. Perhaps it is even a sign from the elder gods that you came back here in this new body; we will be sisters once more. This infant will bind the compact between us: blood sacrifice for your life and freedom. A fair exchange.”
I stared at her, my head swimming. No matter how much pain she put me through, I couldn’t imagine trading Sarai for my own freedom. I’d take an eternity of torment over that.
That, and she was utterly insane if she thought consuming Sarai would bind us as sisters.
Ereshkigal ran her claws over my stomach, careful not to cut me.
The feeling of her power so close to Sarai nearly sent me into a panic. My magic and the remains of Inanna’s converged on Sarai with all their might, enveloping her in as much protection as they could offer. I thrashed against the bonds with the last of my strength, but they held tight.
Ereshkigal stroked my hair. “Calm, songbird. Calm. You don’t want to hurt the baby.”
I wanted to die. To have never been born to feel this fear. There was no terror I could experience for myself that would equal what I felt for Sarai.
“Let us heal you, and then…” She rested her palm on my stomach and laughed softly. “We shall fatten you for the feast.”
8
Azazel
The mountains ended abruptly, looking over a wide vista of dark sand. It was a familiar sight that squeezed at my heart and brought back memories so vivid and blood-drenched, they might have happened yesterday.
Michael and Tascius landed in the sand, sending up clouds of dust that were tugged away in the acrid breeze. Haru stood above me on a boulder, his forehead seeming permanently etched in a frown.
Belial came last. He descended the mountain on silent paws and shifted when he hit the sand. “It was her blood. Melisande and Lucifer came this way.”
We’d all seen the splashes and streaks, turned brown with age. It covered gravel, splattered across a boulder, and I could only fathom what had happened to smear so much of her across such a long trek.
But she was alive. I knew that much; the emotions coming through the mate bond were muffled but there. And that was all that mattered.
“What about Vyra?” Haru cut him an accusing look. “What about her trail?”
“Lost it back at the cave. She never came this way.” Belial gazed out at the desert, his mouth twisted in a frown.
Haru’s ears went flat against his head. “You lost the trail, and never said anything?” He bared his teeth, only seconds from rounding on Belial.
Belial’s fists were clenched at his side. “Did it occur to you that maybe I had more important shit on my mind?” He roared the last words, his hands trembling, and Haru paused in mid-step.
“That is my mate out there! My child! That is her blood strewn all over the fucking mountain, so no, I didn’t fucking say anything!”
Sparks flew from his mouth when he shouted, and his face was beginning to stretch and lengthen.
“Belial,” I said quietly in warning.
Haru’s tails flicked, and his pointed ears slowly rose. “I know. I’m sorry.” He took a step down, and tentatively reached out and put his hand on Belial’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
Belial took a deep breath, and his features slowly shifted back to their normal proportions. The inferno in his eyes cooled to banked embers. “Last place I smelled Vyra was in the cave, but I didn’t smell her blood or death. If I know Melisande at all, she sent Vyra home to Dis, and stayed behind for Lucifer.”
Tascius glanced behind him at the pair. “All signs point to that. So, where do we go from here?”
The constant wind had wiped away all semblance of a trail, but I didn’t need tracks to follow. I knew this desert like the back of my hand. “We head on to Kur, and Haru and Michael go back to Dis.”
The archangel of the sun shook his head, but Haru’s sharp face was twisted with indecision. “I should continue on with you.”
“No.” I stepped over the rocks, still hovering safely several feet above them. “I can lead the way from here on out, but it’s utterly pointless to risk all of our lives. Haru, you should go to my sister. Let her know where we’ve gone and why. As for you, Michael— this isn’t your fight. You have no place here.”
Michael crossed his arms. “I need to search every inch of Hell, even if the odds are slim. Raphael would do no less for me.” From the steady determination in his golden eyes, I wasn’t going to be able to shake him loose.
Haru’s expression hadn’t changed. He still looked mutinous, though he was clearly dying to go to Vyra.
“Your honor will not be impugned if you go back to Dis,” I told him. “She’s going to be out of her mind, wondering if we’re dead or alive, and if we don’t come back… someone needs to keep the Seventh Circle safe-guarded.”
Haru just stared at me for a long moment, then snorted. “Impugned? Who even says things like that? I’m not worried about my honor, I’m just fairly convinced this is a suicide mission.”
“It likely is,” I agreed.
“And you’re going to need someone to haul your asses out of this desert if you do make it alive.”
“An accurate assessment. Once we’re within the bounds of Kur, the amulets I created will no longer work. The power there is too entrenched in this land.”
Haru flicked an ear and sighed. “I’ll go to Vyra.”
Belial looked down at the amulet on his chest and took it off, pulling the loop over his head. “Take mine. I don’t need it where we’re going. And get my fighters together— I don’t want to come back to a mess.”
Haru took the amulet and looked at Michael. “Last chance. We could use your help in Dis.”
The archangel was staring towards Kur, his eyes narrowed. He didn’t look afraid of what was coming at all—although I supposed Michael had lived long enough to see this all before. “I’m good. Got things to see and do here.”
Haru’s lips were pressed flat, his ears pinned back. He clutched the amulet with white knuckles. “If any of you die, don’t you dare come haunt me. I offered to join you.”
I just laughed. The idea was preposterous. “If any of us die, our souls will either be enslaved or sucked into an abyss with no return. Haunting isn’t in our cards.”
They all stared at me.
“Did any of you listen before we set out?” I asked irritably.
One of Haru’s ears flicked upwards. “Good luck. You need it.” He held up the amulet and shouted the words I’d keyed to the magic. The air in front of him shivered and hummed, then ripped open, light pouring through the portal’s edges.
He gave us a last regretful look before he stepped through, as though he were reconsidering his decision, but the portal snapped shut behind him. There was no way back now, not even through the Between. Without a massive dose of power, that door would remain shut.
Tascius exhaled, blowing a strand of white hair out of his eyes. “One down.”
“No, Tascius. We’re about to be down by two.” I descended the slope, careful to keep my feet incorporeal and well above the sand. It felt almost magnetic, tugging on me with every step.
It knew I was home.
The former Nephilim followed me, as I knew he would.
“What do you mean?” he asked, his voice flat. “I thought it was clear we were all going to Kur.”
I stopped and looked back at him. The memories of him were so new compared to everything else in my long life that they felt like yesterday.
He’d been so small, but not weak. Mutilated, but not broken.
Now he’d finally come into his own, and I hoped it would be enough.
“When Ereshkigal moves against us, there will be a time when I will not be myself.” I looked out at the desert again, how enormous and silent it was. It was a trap waiting to be sprung. “As Lucifer is soul-bound to Satan, I am bound to her, in a way.”
“If you’re soul-bound, you’d better damn well tell us now,” Tascius growled. “We’re not going through that again.”
I gave him a narrow look. “It’s not a soul-bond, but I would be lying if I said she had no influence over me. I am a descendant of her direct bloodline. There is a certain amount of power in that.”
“Then you should’ve gone back.” He was looking at me like he was contemplating making that happen with violence.
“No.” I touched the feather at my lapel. It was tattered after all our travels, but still the most special thing I owned. “There’s something I need to do here. Something that’s been a long time in coming.”
“It won’t matter much if Melisande dies because your loyalty wavered.”
I shifted in place, staring down at the sand. How many times had I walked barefoot across this same desert through a rift into another world, to the Earth where men had made sacrifices to me?
Too many to count. So much of the blood soaked into this desert had been spilled in my name.
“The last time I saw Ereshkigal, she tore her sister’s heart out of her chest and ate it to prove her power over us all. I intend to show her that she has no power at all. Not after all the things I’ve seen and done. Her poison must be ripped out by the root and destroyed entirely. Unlike her, I’ve crossed worlds. I’ve bargained with beings far greater than herself.” I let myself drift halfway into the void I’d traded my wings for, becoming dust and shadows. “But I’ve never entered the true void, where all hope dies. The bond between Melisande and I ensures that I will find my way back. And when I do, I will destroy the Eater of Souls.”
“What if she kills you?” Tascius looked grim.
“That’s a chance I must take, but at the very least, I can buy Melisande time to escape.”
