“Well?” she asked.
“Well what?”
“Are you coming with us to the party?”
I sighed. “I told you no.”
“Why not?”
“I’m not going, okay? Stop bugging me about it.” I snapped.
“I’m not—” Lindy’s sentence was cut short when Tyler slammed on the breaks.
“What an asshole!” he yelled and laid on the horn. Apparently, a guy on a scooter in front of us cut him off.
“I could’ve killed you, you idiot!” he yelled out the window.
The guy on the scooter gave him the finger and zipped off down a side street.
“What a dumb ass! People can’t drive, I swear!” Tyler yelled. “And Lindy, if Autumn doesn’t want to come to the party she doesn’t have to. Who cares? We will have more fun on our own anyway. It’s like you said earlier she’s just going to be a hassle.”
I felt the cold stab of his words and Lindy’s face melted into shock.
“Tyler, that’s not true, I never said that!” She defended, looking over at me. “I didn’t say that.”
“Yeah you did.” he said as he pulled into the campus parking lot.
“Tyler, you’re not helping.” She growled through her teeth.
Heaviness descended on my chest and made it hard to swallow. I glared at Lindy and wanted to tell her the truth about how I felt about everything, especially Tyler. How every moment since I arrived, I have been miserable and I would have been better off staying in Hamilton.
The moment we parked, I unbuckled my belt and leaned forward, unable to contain my anger another second. “You know what, Lindy? I think I will go to the party tonight. It’s about time I get out there and get laid, don’t you think? And don’t worry about babysitting me, I don’t need you hold my hand while some guy forces himself on me again.”
I deflected her shocked stare with a sneer and slid out of the car, slamming the door. I marched across the campus while I fought to control the tears prickling at the back of my eyes.
“Autumn! Wait!” Lindy yelled after me, but I didn’t turn around.
Instead, I picked up my pace, until I was jogging across the campus lawn. I stopped by the ladies room to check myself in the mirror and realized my lashes were damp with tears. I wiped them away and swallowed the lump in my throat.
I was a hassle? She was the one who lied to me. I was the one who had to deal with her stupid boyfriend living with us. Colgate University was looking better and better.
I ripped a few paper towels out of the dispenser and blew my nose in them, ignoring the crude stares from the other girls around me. My nose was a red contrast against the sprinkling of brown freckles on my face, and my hair looked about as good as it did earlier that morning when I greeted Vinny.
I stepped into the stall closest to me, letting out a little sob. Crushing the snotty paper towels in my hands, I let myself cry silently. At that moment I wanted to call my mother, tell her that I was giving up on the whole college idea, and have her come pick me up. I knew she would come get me and I could be home before midnight. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself and concluded that I was not going to call my mother. I didn’t come all this way to give up. I blew my nose again, shoved the paper towels into the trash, and left the bathroom.
When I stepped out of the bathroom, I was surprised to find Lindy waiting for me. The worried look on her face caused my anger to flare up again and I just walked past her.
“Auti…” she whined.
“Leave me alone.”
I headed down the hall, with no particular destination. I heard the soft slaps of her sandals as she chased me down the corridor. It wasn’t until her manicured nails dug into the tender skin of my upper arm that I responded.
I ripped my arm out of her grasp. “Get off me, Lindy!” I shouted in her face. “Just go party with your idiot boyfriend and have a good time, that’s all you care about anyway.”
“I swear to God, Autumn! I never said you were a hassle!” She cried. “You’re more important to me than him or that dumb party!”
Yeah right.
“Just like I was more important at the last party we went to, when you were giving some guy a blow job instead of answering your phone when I needed you,” I snapped back, fighting my tears.
“That’s not fair, I didn’t know you were in trouble, I would have been there if—”
“Just forget it. I wish I would have stayed in Hamilton and went to Colgate instead.”
She frowned with tears in her eyes. “You don’t mean that.”
“Yeah, I mean that. I hate your boyfriend and I feel like I barely even know you. I wish I never came here.” I felt relieved to have the truth off my chest. I turned away before I could see her cry and headed toward my next class.
My last class of the afternoon was Marketing Management. I could barely concentrate on the syllabus due to the resentment and guilt sitting on my conscience over my argument with Lindy. After class, I decided to walk home instead of catching a ride with them. I figured Lindy was pissed and I would rather walk back to the apartment than sit in her insufferable presence.
I easily fell into step with the rest of the students that were leaving campus in the same direction I was. The farther I got from Adelphi, the more the crowd dispersed until it was just me and a few others walking a safe distance from one another.
I was on autopilot when I heard a horn beep to my right. I looked up to see a black BMW coming to a slow roll beside me.
“Hey, Autumn. We waited for you at the curb! What are you doing?” Tyler asked.
“Apparently, I’m walking home,” I said, noticing Lindy in the passenger seat looking solemn.
“Why?”
“Just go, Tyler. I can walk.” I said, continuing up the sidewalk.
“Don’t make me stop this car and drag you in,” Tyler warned.
I pretended I didn’t hear him, thinking I wouldn’t get into that car without a kicking, screaming scene.
“Stop the car, Ty.” Lindy said.
“What? Why?” he asked.
“Just stop the car!” she demanded.
The car came to an abrupt stop and Lindy jumped out.
“I’ll see you at home,” she said with a slam of the car door. She jogged over and stood on the same crooked sidewalk square as me.
Tyler shook his head at us and sped off down the street.
“You might be a bitch, but I’d feel bad if you got kidnapped or killed.”
“You’re stupid.” I said, hiding a smile.
“I wouldn’t have to be if you weren’t so damn stubborn.”
I grasped at the straps of my backpack and continued walking up the block, letting her follow a few steps behind. I kept my gaze down at my aching feet, trying to ignore the annoying silence.
“I’m sorry, okay?” she blurted, her voice laden with emotion. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you Tyler was living with us and I’m sorry for saying you would be annoying if we brought you to the party. I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant you probably wouldn’t enjoy yourself because you don’t want to go.”
I stared down at our feet that were moving in unified steps beside one another. “If you know I don’t want to go, then why do you keep pushing it?”
“Because I want you to be happy like I am. Since I’ve met Tyler, my whole life has changed and I am happier than ever.”
“I don’t need a boyfriend to be happy, Lindy.”
“I know, but I think it would be good for you, to help you get over the past. Not every guy is a sex crazed jerk like you think.”
I shrugged. “I guess we just have different views on it.”
She sighed. “I give up. I won’t bring it up again. Okay?”
“Thank you.”
“Did you still want to go shopping when we get home? Ty said we could take his car.”
I shrugged. “I guess.”
“You really do need a haircut. Your starting to look like a cav
eman. I’m pretty sure we could tie a bone in your hair and you’d have a Halloween costume.”
I rolled my eyes and smirked. “Thanks Lindy, that does tons for my self-esteem.”
She laughed. “Yeah, well, I have to bring your self-esteem to a new low so I can build it back up.”
“I think it’s already there.”
“Not for long,” she said throwing her arm around my waist and resting her head on my shoulder. “Once I get done making you over, you’re going to feel so amazing.”
“Good luck with that,” I said, resting my head against hers and putting my arm around her. As much as I hated to admit it, I was somewhat excited to see this new me she was threatening to unleash. I knew it could be a step in helping me get over the past and on with the future, and that couldn’t be a bad thing.
We got home less than thirty minutes later and we didn’t waste any time heading to the mall. Our first stop was the makeup counter. Lindy forced me into one of those plush little chairs in front of the glass cases crowded with expensive cosmetics and perfumes. She hailed down a makeup specialist. The woman she flagged didn’t look qualified at all. She had thick smudges of teal eye shadow up to her eyebrows and mascara so thick I wondered if she used the whole tube in one sitting. Her hair resembled Ann Burrell on the cooking network, the only difference was it was maroon and purple. It was Murple. Her name was Cherry. That figured.
I sat like a statue, frozen in fear, as Cherry grabbed a slew of foundation bottles and started dabbing the different shades all over my face. Lindy stood back and gave the final approval on what color went best with my complexion. This went on and on until she had chosen foundation in liquid and powder, an eye shadow kit that ranged in color from nudes to a bright green, a tube of lipstick, three lip glosses and make up remover. I listened attentively as Cherry took each product and walked me through how to use it as she applied it to my face. She also mentioned that I had slightly oily skin and I should prime my face first before applying any makeup. I never knew I had oily skin…maybe that’s why I had so many pimples in high school.
I hoped Lindy was taking notes, because I couldn’t concentrate as Cherry swiped my eyes with shadow and dabbed gloss on my lips. I felt like a clown with so much make up on, but once she handed me the mirror for the final review, I was shocked. The girl that stared back at me was a definite improvement. Once my transformation was complete, I almost threw up when I heard I had spent over two-hundred dollars on makeup.
Afterwards, we went to the hair salon next door. It was empty and I was taken right away. Lindy flipped through a hairstyles book and chose a style she thought would look good on me. I only agreed because it still left my hair past my shoulders, with layers. The stylist, Carol, who had a platinum pixie cut, agreed on the style Lindy had picked. She said it would do good things for me and suggested adding in some highlights. I shrugged and went with it, since I could use all the help I could get.
She sat me down, snapped the cape around my neck, and applied white paste and tinfoil to various chunks of my hair, then told me to sit under the dryer while she cleaned up. At that point, I was ready to bolt for the door, but Lindy tamed me by shoving a magazine in my hands. The loud roar of the dryer in my ears was enough to give me a headache.
Once that torture was over and the foil was removed, Carol washed my hair out and started cutting. Comb stroke after comb stroke, she lifted my damp hair as high as she could and snipped the ends. I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the fact that my hair was raining down around me. Lindy knew I was having an anxiety attack and she stood beside me and coached me through my hair loss, assuring me I would be gorgeous when it was all over.
Slowly but surely, my hair transformed before my eyes as it dried into perfect layers resembling the color of a rusty penny. The first layer fell just below my chin, the second at my shoulders, and the third just below my shoulder blades. I ran my fingers through it, wondering if I was dreaming. It felt so soft and looked so bright. The new Autumn in the mirror was beautiful and confident. Two things I never felt before.
The haircut added to my growing debt, coming in at one hundred and fifty dollars with tip. I feared that I might max my credit card before we even left the mall. Before we moved on to clothes shopping, Lindy treated me to dinner at the food court. I had two slices of pizza and she had a caesar salad. We talked about what everyone back home would say about my new look, and we sent a picture of the new me to my mother’s cell phone.
Afterwards, we hit up at least six different stores where I racked up another three hundred dollars to my card. I told her we needed to stop or I was going to go bankrupt. We left the mall just shy of eight and by the time we got home, it was almost time for them to leave for the party. Tyler was ready to go. Lindy told him that she just needed to get dressed and touch up her make-up.
As I was putting away all my new clothes, I decided I wanted to go to the party too. What better place to debut my new look than a house full of guys handing out free compliments. I’d take the compliments and leave everything else to some other girl who enjoyed doing the walk of shame.
I stopped them just before they left and told them I was coming. They were both shocked. Since my hair already looked nice from the salon, all I had to do was touch up my make-up and get dressed. I chose to wear one of the outfits I just purchased. I picked a form fitting sleeveless teal top and some of my favorite old dark blue jeans that made my butt look nice. I matched them with my favorite brown sandals and a pair of Lindy’s silver earrings with dangling turquoise gemstones.
Once I was ready, I met Lindy and Tyler in the living room. Lindy had on a provocative skintight black strapless dress made of shimmery material with heels that should be accused of attempted suicide.
She spotted me in the mirror that hung near the front door where she was smudging on another layer of glossy sheer lipstick. She turned around and her big blue eyes widened under her heavily mascaraed lashes. “You look so cute, Autumn!”
“Thanks,” I said, feeling my self-esteem take a boost.
“You girls ready, finally?” Tyler asked with a hint of annoyance.
“Yeah, just let me get my purse,” Lindy said, grabbing her tiny bag that should barely be considered a purse.
“Where’s your purse?” Tyler asked, looking me over with a sweeping gaze.
“I don’t need one, I just put my phone and ID in my pockets…I’m low maintenance.”
He nodded in approval and then went to the door to hold it open for Lindy and me.
Once we were safely in the car, Lindy yanked down the passenger visor and checked her reflection in the mirror. Tyler made his music selection on his iPod, a reggae band I never heard of, and we were on our way to the party. The frat was only a few blocks away, which made it easy for me to walk home if I really needed to.
The Alpha Tau frat house was a two story brick colonial with a spacious lawn, situated in the middle of a suburban area with similar sized homes. The driveway and curb were lined with cars on both sides of the street, which meant we had to park five houses down. I was worried for Lindy walking in her six inch heels, but Tyler came to her rescue, letting her cling to his arm for support. They walked ahead of me laughing and talking. Every step I took my anxiety built, especially when I heard music filtering out of the open front door.
Students were packed onto the front porch with red plastic cups in hand, barely giving room to reach the front door. My heart thrummed hard when a few guys looked me over as we made our way up the porch. I took a deep breath.
I can do this. It won’t be like before.
We squeezed through the crowd at the door and managed to get inside where we were met with more partygoer traffic. Bubbles floated through the foggy air laced with the unpleasant smell of too much perfume and smoke.
I stifled a gasp when someone grabbed my hand, then I realized it was Lindy. She glanced back at me, saying something inaudible over the music. I just nodded and let her lead me through the sea of
bodies.
The next room was much of the same, crowded, and full of legal and illegal smoke. We ended up in the kitchen where kegs were lined up on an island counter like a beer buffet. Tyler grabbed a few red cups and filled them at one of the kegs. He passed one to Lindy and me. Lindy started chugging hers right away.
I let my gaze drift over the unfamiliar faces. There was a constant stream of students coming in and out. Having so many people in one area made it feel hard to breathe.
“Drink!” Lindy urged, placing her hand beneath my cup and moving it toward my face.
I took a small sip and frowned. The taste of cheap beer sent me on a trip of déjà vu. Right back to high school; right back to the worst night of my life.
I remembered it like it was yesterday, well most of it. The beer tasted horrible, but I drank it anyway. It was my first high school party, my freshman year. It happened just after my parents’ divorce. I wanted to be happy again and partying seemed to make everyone else happy, so I thought I would try it too.
Lindy had a crush on a guy named Paul Frankman and I had a crush on his friend, Zack Myers. Zack was on the soccer team and had the signature blond hair and bright blue eyes that made girls drop their panties. That night I not only drank myself stupid, but also attempted to impress people that weren’t even important. I smoked marijuana and took a pill given to me by some girl in my algebra class that I barely knew. The mixture of all the drugs made me feel invincible.
I spotted Zack in the crowd, talking to his soccer friends and I went right up to him and asked him if he knew who I was and if he thought I was hot. When he said my name and told me he thought I was kinda cute, I took that as a good signal to throw myself at him. I gave him my first kiss, tongue and all. Laughter erupted around me and he pulled me off him, looking shocked. I was too high to realize that when his friends goaded him on, it wasn’t because he really liked me. We went off to a dark corner to make out, the next thing I knew I was upstairs in a little girl’s Pepto-Bismol pink bedroom. I remember laying on the bed while he gave me a hickey and reading a sign on the wall that said Amanda’s Room. I must have read it fifty times and might have even read it aloud once or twice in my drug induced state.
Down to Business (Business Series) Page 5
