“Carter.” She took off the ring, removed his hand from the second button of her pajama top and placed the beautiful diamond in the middle of his calloused palm.
“Damn it, Paige. What’s your problem?” He shot her a hot, wounded glance. “It’s a no? How can it be a no? I thought you said you missed me. I thought—”
She put a finger to his warm, beautiful lips. “Shh. It’s not a no.”
Twin lines formed between his eyebrows. “I don’t get it.”
Her heart trip-hammered against her ribs. “There’s something I have to tell you before I can give you a yes.”
A relieved sigh escaped him. “Fine. Go for it.” He waved the diamond at her. “And then take this damn ring back so we can get on with the plan.”
Slow, careful breaths, she reminded herself. It had to be said. He really needed to know. “Remember that silly magazine quiz you took for me the Monday before Thanksgiving, when we were waiting for Deacon Leery to see us?”
“What’s that got to do with anything?”
“Bear with me. Do you remember?”
“Yeah. What about it?” He gazed at her blankly, waiting for the punch line.
She delivered it. “Well, Carter, you were right. You answered every one of those question just as I would have. And they were excellent questions, really. Which is why that was the day I realized I’m in love with you.”
His eyes widened—and not in a good way. “You...what?”
She took another slow, deep breath and said it again. “I’m in love with you, Carter.”
He shot off the bed, turned and backed toward the window. Shaking his head, he accused, “You’re lying,” in a low, furious whisper. “And that quiz? I was only messing with your head, only having a little fun, that’s all.”
Sadness weighed her down. Yeah, she’d known he hated it when women said the L word. Still, she’d kind of hoped he might react differently if the words came from her. So much for hope. Stifling a sigh, she rebuttoned her top button. “I know it was only a joke. To you.”
“Uh-uh. No.” He stuck the ring in his back pocket. “You’re not in love with me, Paige. You’re too smart for that crap. This is just your way of getting me to back off.”
Was there ever a man as thickheaded as this one? “I’m not lying, Carter.” She made herself look him straight in the eye. “I’m in love with you and if I did say yes to you, it would be because you, um, fill up my heart and make my world better. Because you’re hot and I want you. A lot. Because I love to be with you and you make me laugh and I can always count on you. Because you make my coffee just the way like it. Because you’re both a stand-in dad and a big brother to my baby sister.” She tried a wobbly smile. He didn’t return it. “But I would be dishonest to go into this, er, engagement plan with you if I didn’t tell you upfront how I feel. So I’m telling you. I’m in love with—”
He threw up both hands. “Stop saying that.” He scooped up his heavy jacket from the chair where he’d tossed it. “I...can’t tell you that back. I’ll never tell you that. I don’t believe in that, you know I don’t.”
She did know. The guy just wasn’t going to the love place. He’d always been perfectly clear on that.
And what did he think? That this “awful” revelation had been easy for her? It hurt to see that horrified, get-me-out-of-here look on his face. It hurt a lot.
Still, she’d done it. She’d told him the truth about the state of her heart. Now they could move on. “Well, all right, then. We can give up this crazy test-drive engagement plan and go back to the way it’s always been.”
“No,” he argued, for no possible reason that she could see. “Did I say I wanted to call it off? I never said that.”
“But, Carter—”
“No, Paige. I mean it.”
“You mean what?”
“I just need a little time to deal with this information, okay?”
“Um, sure.” Had she ever in her life had such a bizarre conversation? Not that she could recall. “Take all the time you need.”
He shoved his arms in his jacket. “You know, you’re acting really...sane about this, I have to say.”
“Uh. Thanks.”
“You’re amazing, Paige. One of a kind.”
“Wow. Great,” she replied without much enthusiasm.
“I just need to think this over a little.”
“No problem.”
He turned and slid the window wide. A gust of wind and snow swirled in as he faced her again. “We’ll talk.”
“Sounds good.” Paige wrapped her arms around herself against the sudden chill.
He actually attempted a smile. “Well, all right. Night, then.”
“Night, Carter.”
And he turned again, squeezed his big self out onto the roof and disappeared from sight.
* * *
Biscuit woke her before dawn. He stood at the bedroom door, whining to be let out. She crawled out of bed and opened the door. He left.
But not fifteen minutes later, he was back again, sitting at the side of the bed, his tail sweeping the rug, panting and staring up at her hopefully. She knew what that look meant. Carter had not come by to walk him.
“Fine,” Paige grumbled. Biscuit wagged his tail harder. “I’m coming, I’m coming...” She shoved back the covers and got dressed.
Outside, beyond the front porch, a thin blanket of white covered the yard and the walk. Snow dusted the hedge tops and clung to the branches of the evergreens.
“Pretty, huh, baby?” she asked the dog. Biscuit whined and tugged the leash. “Heel,” she said firmly.
For once, he obeyed, falling back to his place at her side. They went down the steps and out to the sidewalk. She walked him around the corner, down three blocks, and then back home, stopping to let him take care of business, her plastic bag at the ready.
The neighborhood looked so beautiful all covered in white. Most of her neighbors already had their lights and wreaths up, some had even left the lights on all night. So cheery and Christmassy. It really lifted her spirits.
She was smiling when she got back to the warm, cozy house. She went straight to the living room and turned on both the tree and the mantel lights.
Dawn came down as she was scooping coffee into the coffeemaker. “No sign of Carter, huh?”
Not since about two-thirty this morning. “Nope. Poached eggs?”
“Sure. Don’t ever tell him I said so, Paige. But I miss him when he’s not around.”
“Your secret is safe with me.”
Dawn went to the cupboards to get down the plates, mugs and flatware. “Looks like we got about three inches of snow.”
“Yeah. It’s gorgeous out there.”
Dawn carried the plates over to the breakfast nook. “So, are you two going to work out this, um, whatever it is that you’re not explaining to me?”
“We definitely are,” Paige replied with a lot more confidence than she felt. “Eventually.”
At nine, when Paige walked into BCC, Carter was already busy in the shop. He hardly spoke to her that day. She returned the favor. Friday was pretty much the same.
By Friday evening, all the snow had melted. Paige drove home through the snow-free streets, telling herself that it was all for the best. She’d done the right thing, to lay all her cards on the table with Carter. In time, she would get over him. He would stop feeling he had to avoid her. They might have a nice, straight-ahead talk about how foolish they’d both been.
And then their relationship could go back to the way it used to be.
In the meantime, she would be fine. Tomorrow was her day off. She didn’t even have to set eyes on the man. She would go to Rocky Mountain Christmas on Central Street and shop until she dropped.
That night, Dawn and Molly went to a
party at a friend’s house. Paige raided her DVD stash and found Love Actually, While You Were Sleeping and the Wynona Ryder version of Little Women. She watched them back to back, with a carton of Ben & Jerry’s and a jumbo bag of peanut M&M’s for company.
She told herself how great it was that Carter wasn’t there. He would have insisted on watching Bad Santa or something equally gross, guy-centric and R-rated. She didn’t need him. Uh-uh. She and Ben & Jerry were doing just fine on their own.
Dawn came in at midnight. They watched the end of Little Women together. When they went upstairs, Dawn took Biscuit to her room. The dog was a total bed hog, so Paige could look forward to tossing and turning without him in the way. She washed her face and brushed her teeth and donned her other Christmas pajamas—green flannel with dancing elves. Ho-ho-ho and all that jazz.
The last few nights had been awful. She’d hardly slept at all, her mind on Carter and her hopeless love for him and the best friendship she missed so much. That night, she assumed, would be pretty much the same, probably with a little indigestion thrown in from all the ice cream and candy.
But she climbed into bed and turned off the lamp—and must have fallen asleep right away. The next thing she knew, she heard a sound at the window.
“Huh?” She gaped at the bedside clock. It was ten after two.
Tap-tap-tap. “Paige?” Tap-tap. “Come on, let me in...” Tap-tap-tap...
Paige popped to a sitting position. Carter. At the window.
Again?
She blinked away sleep and raked her hair out of her eyes and refused to get excited at the prospect of seeing him.
“Paige.” More tapping. “Come on...”
“Fine.” She turned on the lamp, pushed back the covers and took her time crossing the room. Drawing up the blind, she slid the window back.
“Hey.” He gave her a happy grin.
“This has got to stop, Carter.”
“Don’t be cranky. I needed to see you.”
“I was sound asleep.”
“Sorry.”
“You’re out of control, you know that?”
Now he put on his pitiful face. “The screen. Please?”
She gave in and pulled it free of the frame. Once he was in, she folded her arms tightly across her middle and ordered, “Shut the window. It’s cold out there.”
He shoved it shut and shrugged out of his big jacket. “Don’t be mad at me.”
“What are you doing here?”
“We need to talk.”
“You need to talk, apparently. And always in my bedroom in the middle of the night.” And why did he have to look so totally manly in old jeans, older boots and a frayed BCC Grand Opening T-shirt from five years ago? It just wasn’t fair.
He gave her the sexy eyes. “You look so cute.”
“I look like I was sound asleep. Probably because I was.”
He gave her a slow once-over. “I think I like the elves better than the wiener dogs.”
She refused to soften toward him. “You’ve barely said a word to me since the last time you climbed in my window, and now suddenly you’re all about my festive pajamas and how we have to talk? Uh-uh. You are not making me feel any more kindly toward you.”
He looked at her sideways and asked in a voice both rough and way too tender, “But you still love me, right?”
She made a scoffing sound. “And you wonder why all your women turn into drama queens. You drive them to it.”
“Be nice, Paige.” He reached out and wrapped his big fingers around her upper arm.
Even through the fuzzy flannel of her sleeve, heat sparked and sizzled across the surface of her skin. She pulled her arm away. “Start talking.”
“Can we maybe sit down?”
“Sure.” Head high, she marched to the bed and dropped to the edge.
He eyed her warily for a moment, but then came and sat beside her, just as he had two nights before. A weird and awkward silence ensued—because no way was she starting the conversation when he was the one who just had to talk at two in the morning.
Finally, he opened with “So...you’re okay, right?”
“Other than my annoyance with you for interrupting the first sound sleep I’ve had in days? Yeah. I’m fine.” She flashed him a sharp glance. “And if your needing to talk consists of you asking me questions and me doing most of the actual talking... No, Carter. Or, as you would say, Hell to the no.”
He grumbled, “So, then you’re really pissed at me, huh?”
“And there you go with yet another question.”
He shot her a glance both bewildered and contrite. Really, for a man who couldn’t run away fast enough at the mere mention of the word love, he was altogether too lovable.
And then he glumly confessed, “I don’t know how to start.”
And she couldn’t just leave him there, hanging, all on his own. She put her hand over his big, rough, hot one. When he turned it palm up, she laced their fingers together.
He gave her a sweet little squeeze. “As far as you being in love with me...?”
Her heart rate accelerated and her mouth went dry. “Yeah?”
“Really freaks me out.”
“I noticed.” She made herself look directly at him. His beautiful tawny eyes were waiting.
He lifted their joined hands and brushed those amazing lips across the backs of her knuckles that peeked out, just barely, between his big fingers. “But it’s okay.”
“What’s okay?” Her breath had kind of snagged in her throat. She made a conscious effort to suck in air and let it back out slowly.
“I mean, if you can be in love with me and be okay with it, so can I.”
Okay? He said it was okay?
That was...very, very not okay. “Carter, I have to tell you. When I get married—if I ever get married—I want the man I marry to be more than just ‘okay’ with me.”
“But I am more than just okay with you.”
She shook her head. “Sorry. Not feelin’ it.”
“But it’s true. I’m gone on you.”
A burst of laughter escaped her. “Oh, come on.”
His eyes darkened and his jaw hardened. “Don’t laugh at me, damn it. It’s really...kind of a stunner for me, too, you know? I’m not sure what to make of how I feel about you now. But whatever this is, I do feel it. I’ve got a real thing for you. You’re something special, Paige. Special and drama-free and wonderfully sane.”
Sane. How romantic.
Not. “Carter, I just think...” Her sentence trailed off into oblivion.
Because he messed with her concentration by leaning closer and nuzzling her ear. “Plus, I gotta ask...”
A lovely shiver went through her. One she tried to make light of. “Oh, great. More questions.”
“Don’t get all judgey. This is a good question. I think you’re going to like it.”
“Of course you do.”
He nibbled on her earlobe. And then he pulled his hand free of hers—but only in order to wrap his arm around her and tuck her in close to his side. He stroked her hair, pausing to free it from where it was all tangled up in the collar of her pajama top. His touch and his closeness felt so good, so right. And she kind of loved the way he touched her, fussed over her. So much so that she couldn’t quite make herself push him away.
And then he leaned even closer. “The question is—” he nuzzled her temple and his warm breath teased her ear “—how’d you get so damn hot, Paige?”
She made the mistake of turning toward him. Now she looked directly into those molten green eyes. And had he always smelled this good—like pine trees and mountain air and a hint of high-grade motor oil?
He captured her mouth.
She moaned. She couldn’t help it. His
tongue pressed the seam where her lips met. And she gave in without even token resistance, gave in to him instantly, sighing in welcome.
Oh, that kiss. His kiss. She should have known better than to let him put that mouth of his on hers. His kiss weakened her everywhere—her shaking knees, her quivering belly, her yearning heart and definitely her mind.
He guided her back to the bed the way he’d done two nights ago, so she lay across the mattress, her bare feet dangling just above the rug. The whole way down he kept his lips locked to hers, kissing her about as close to senseless as she could possibly get without actually losing consciousness. She sighed some more and clutched his thick shoulders and fervently wished that she would never have to let go.
But then he lifted up enough to ask, “Well?”
Her eyes popped open and she stared at him blankly. “Um...” Her mouth tingled from that kiss of his. Oh, who was she kidding? Every inch of her tingled. “What was the question?”
“How come you’re so hot?” He went to work on the little green buttons of her pajama top.
“I think it’s your fault.” It came out breathless with yearning. “You do it to me.”
“Paige, sweetheart...” Oh, that voice of his, so deep and rough and wonderful. His voice touched her, stroking her, arousing her every bit as much as his big hands and his clever mouth did. He kissed the tip of her nose, and one button slipped free. He moved on to the next and the next after that. She didn’t even pretend to try and stop him.
And what do you know?
In seconds, he had all those little green buttons completely undone.
Undone. Yeah. Exactly. He’d undone her buttons. He’d undone her.
She gazed up at him, dazed and way too willing, her hands still clasping the hard curves of his shoulders. He took them—one hand and then the other—and guided them back onto the mattress to either side of her head.
And then he got hold of her unbuttoned pajama top and peeled it wide. She felt the cool air of the shadowed bedroom on her bare breasts.
“So pretty,” he whispered as he lowered his head. He sucked her nipple into his mouth.
Paige gasped and then she moaned. She tried to lift her hands again to hold him, pull him closer to her.
Carter Bravo's Christmas Bride Page 9
