Son of a bitch! Sucking in a harsh breath, Mack surged forward. The buzzing in his head drowned out the announcer, the crowd, even his own heartbeat, which had gone from zero to sixty in no time and was thundering wildly in his chest. He watched in horror as the pair landed sideways and the momentum carried the horse over, on top of Ashley.
He pushed himself faster, ignoring the screaming protest in his back, shoulder, and head. She wasn’t wearing a damn helmet. She wasn’t even wearing a freaking vest. And he knew exactly how much damage could be done when a massive animal pins a person to the ground.
Fear flooded his veins as he watched the horse struggle and fail to right herself, all the while blocking Ashley from his view. He was aware of other people rushing forward, of the flurry of movement in the stands as spectators came to their feet, but his entire being was focused on getting to Ashley.
Jesus, what would he do if something happened to her? Why hadn’t he shoved aside the stupid, meaningless differences between them this morning and made sure that she and her horse were ready?
At last, he skidded to a halt beside the crumpled pair as a rodeo staff member arrived on the other side. In a blur of activity, they worked to pull Mia off. The horse shrieked and whinnied as they got her to her feet. Trusting the other man to see to Mia, Mack immediately fell to his knees beside Ashley. She was pale and dazed, her brown eyes huge.
“Are you okay? What hurts?” As she started to sit up, he ordered harshly, “Don’t move.” He wanted to tear her clothes away and check her inch by inch.
“I’m okay,” she said, her voice hoarse. “The mud—I think it cushioned the fall. How’s Mia? Is she all right?”
Despite his protest, she pushed to a sitting position. Her hat had fallen off, along with one of her boots, and the top two buttons of her shirt had been wrenched off, but he couldn’t see any real evidence of injury. Worry creased her brow as she strained to see her horse.
More people reached them then, including one of the paramedics who’d been stationed at the gate. “The rodeo staff is seeing to Mia,” Mack said, because the last thing he was going to do was leave her side. The only being he could concentrate on was her.
Because he knew that she’d want him to update her on the status of Mia’s health, he looked over at the horse. And what he saw made the dread come rushing back all over again.
Son of a bitch.
Chapter 15
It was too soon for Ashley to deal with grief again.
That particular emotion had ruled the last quarter of her life, and she had been wanting to put it behind her for a long, long time. But after she’d listened to the kindhearted but clinical veterinarian explain the facts of the situation, she was once again overwhelmed by the feeling.
When she came out into the waiting room, she was surprised to see Mack sitting in one of the plastic chairs lining the back wall, with a magazine open but forgotten on his lap. Seeing him reminded her of why she’d been so out of sorts in the first place that morning. Taking a deep breath that did nothing to calm the rioting guilt and grief in her belly, she started to walk past him, but he immediately popped to his feet.
“Hey. How is she?”
“Not good, Mack. I don’t want to talk about it.”
She started to push past him, but he lightly grasped her shoulder with his good hand and dipped down to meet her gaze on her level. “Hey, I’m worried here. What’s the prognosis?”
“Are you worried about Mia, or worried about our deal?”
She pulled away and started for the door. The sound of his boots tapping on the laminate floor told her he wasn’t far behind. She wasn’t ready to fight or have a confrontation with him. Her emotions were too raw, her heart too heavy.
“That’s not fair, Ashley,” he said as he caught up with her at the door. “That fall scared the daylights out of me. Give me some credit here.”
A ball of helpless fury lodged in her throat. As much as she wanted to be able to rail at him and pin blame on someone else, she knew the buck stopped squarely on her own doorstep. “That fall scared the daylights out of me, too. Worse, the whole thing is all my fault and my poor horse is the one that will have to suffer the consequences.”
“What did they say?” he asked, his voice gentle but firm. He wasn’t going to let this go.
She stopped in front of the truck and turned to face him, hands on her hips. “Fractured leg.”
He cursed low under his breath but didn’t seem terribly surprised. “I suspected that might be the case, but hoped like hell I was wrong. I’m sorry, princess. Did they say anything more specific?”
“I was holding out hope that it was a sprain, but the MRI showed a hairline fracture to the splint bone.”
“Where on the bone? The upper or lower portion?”
“The lower, thank God. The vet feels there’s a good chance she can recover, but”—Ashley swallowed, forcing herself to say the words—“racing again is almost certainly out of the question.” It felt as though a ten-pound dumbbell had landed low in the pit of her stomach as she spoke. Their bond had been forged through racing. It was what they both loved, and they were damn good at it. Were.
Mack blew out a long, slow breath. “Still, that’s a relief.” They both knew what could happen to a horse in the case of a broken leg. The very thought made her sick to her already heavy stomach. “Does the vet feel she needs surgery?” he asked.
Nodding, Ashley sighed. The anger was quickly turning into exhaustion. “Yes. I thought it best to have her transferred back home for the surgery.”
“Well, there’s not much we can do today, then. Let’s get you back to the hotel to rest. I know you don’t think you hurt anything, but I guarantee you’ll be feeling this by nightfall.”
She could care less about her physical pain. Whatever it was, it would pale in comparison to the pain eating her up on the inside. Nodding, she handed him the keys and climbed into the passenger seat of her truck. When he got in the driver’s seat, she kept her gaze averted, out her window, willing him to leave her alone.
It was only five miles to the hotel, but it seemed like an interminably long ride. As soon as the truck came to a stop, she was out the door and headed to her room. She heard the steady sound of his footsteps behind her, even when she opted to take the stairs, but he didn’t speak or try to stop her as she hurried to her door.
This day couldn’t be over fast enough. She wanted to retreat to her room, shut the curtains, and crawl into bed. She couldn’t get over the fact that this whole thing was all her fault.
“It’s not your fault, you know.”
She looked up sharply. How had he known exactly what she was thinking? They were right outside her door, her key card poised in front of the lock. His features showed the frayed edges of exhaustion, something she hadn’t noticed as she’d tried to rush by him at the vet’s.
He reached out with his good hand and tucked her hair behind her ear before setting his palm lightly on her shoulder. “Seriously. It’s not your fault. Sometimes freak accidents just happen.”
The weight in her belly seemed to double in size. “It is my fault. I knew I wasn’t in the right frame of mind, and that the course was wetter than we were used to, and that Mia was sensing all of my negative emotions. It was all wrong, yet I forced us to compete.”
Wordlessly, he plucked the key card from her hand, opened the door, and ushered her inside. He led her to the bed, gestured for her to sit, then dragged over the small armchair so he could sit directly in front of her. “Hindsight is twenty-twenty, Ash. You may not have felt one hundred percent, but you couldn’t have known how things would turn out. You and Mia race. It’s what you do, and you can’t second-guess the should-have-beens in a sport like this.”
She shook her head, brimming with so many emotions that she couldn’t have pinned one down to save her life. “Easy for you to say. A bull rider only risks his own hide. I have a responsibility to my horse, and I failed her. With Mama gone, Mia’s prett
y much all I have in the world, and because of me she’s hurt.”
He let out a long exhale. “I know you’re hurting. I know it’s eating you up inside that Mia was injured. But shit happens. Sports have risks. I know that more than most. But hell, even waking up in the morning has risks.”
She closed her eyes: didn’t she know it. Her mama’s death had been proof of that. “I still should have called this one off. Facts are facts.”
“Hey,” he said, gently tipping her chin up with his knuckle. He waited until she opened her eyes and met his deep green gaze before going on. “It’s going to be okay. Mia will have her surgery, and she’ll be back on her feet before you know it. And you’re one of the lucky people who can afford to do whatever it takes to get her better.”
There was no resentment in that last part. He actually sounded pleased that she had that kind of money lying around. Sighing, she said what she should have said long before now. “I’m sorry I fibbed about what I could afford. I was mad and acted pettily because of it. If it makes you feel any better, no one knows about the money.”
He leaned back in the armchair, and his knees rested against her thighs. “Except Kelsey,” he said wryly, gentle humor warming his features. “Honestly, I’m happy for you. You were dealt a pretty crappy hand in life, and if anyone deserves a little compensation, it’s you.”
She nibbled her bottom lip, thinking about the moment she’d learned of her windfall. “You know, once upon a time, getting that money would have meant the world to me. It wouldn’t be a stretch to say I was desperate for it. But it only came after it was of no use to me.”
“What do you mean?”
She pulled a pillow in her lap and sighed. “My father—if you can call him that—didn’t stick around after I was born, so Mama didn’t really know his family. They considered my mama to be beneath them and didn’t want to have anything to do with us—until my father died in a car accident when I was sixteen. Suddenly I was the only grandchild he would ever give his parents, and overnight, I was worthy of their notice. Mama and I weren’t biting—if they hadn’t wanted me before, they didn’t deserve me after—but it turns out that his father set up a trust fund for me anyway. He passed away three years ago and apparently hadn’t told his family about the change. Word is, there was quite an uproar when it was discovered upon the reading of the will.”
She paused and looked up at Mack, marveling at the fact that he genuinely seemed to care. Toying with the corner of the pillowcase, she said, “That fund became available to me on my twenty-third birthday. Five weeks and one day after my mama died.”
He made a face. “Ouch.”
“Yeah. That money could have made a world of difference, in that last year especially, when we very nearly lost the house trying to keep our heads above water. Now I have more than I could ever use, and couldn’t give a damn about any of it.” She hadn’t actually touched a cent of it yet. She hadn’t been lying about her mama’s modest life insurance, which had provided for the bills and expenses over these past few months.
“Why didn’t the family help, knowing the money was coming to you anyway?”
“None of them knew about my mama’s illness, and I’d have as soon walked barefoot over hot coals than ask them for help.”
She could see the moment he seemed to put it all together. Squeezing his eyes closed briefly, he groaned. “I’m the world’s biggest jackass,” he said, rubbing a hand over his face. “You hate them that much, and you still agreed to help me? I had no idea how you felt about them.”
Another time, she might have let him wallow a bit before throwing him a rope, but not tonight. Tonight he was her confidant.
“In all honesty, Uncle Alan was the one who came to see me when the fund matured. He was genuinely distressed to learn about Mama’s illness and passing, and said he had been under the impression that we were living happy little lives in our quaint little Sunnybell and wanted nothing to do with the family. He opened the door to have a real relationship with me, but I didn’t feel ready.”
She smiled and playfully thumped Mack’s knee with her fingers. “I figure that family owes me a favor or two in life, and you made for the distraction and opportunity I needed.”
“Oh, so I’m a distraction, am I?” His boyish grin was so damn adorable that her stomach actually fluttered. It felt good to talk with him like this. As she had that night on the highway, she could sense a real connection between them.
She licked her lips and nodded. “Yes, definitely. Although you are quite a bit worse for wear right now.”
The skin around his eye had mellowed to the color of a stormy sky at twilight, and though he’d shed his sling, he still favored the arm quite a bit.
“That’s putting it nicely,” he said. “I look like something the cat dragged in after taking a detour through a briar patch.”
“You’re not as bad as all that. And hey, like you said, you’ll be back in the saddle in a few months.”
Something about his unchanging expression and uncharacteristic silence made her heart catch. Leaning toward him, she tilted her head and said, “What aren’t you telling me, Mack?”
He drew a few idle circles on his jeans with his fingertips before meeting her eyes. “You know how I told you about how the doctor feels it will be a year minimum, though I’m working to make it less?”
Suddenly she knew there was more, so she responded softly, encouragingly. “Mm-hmm.”
Swallowing, he said, “I haven’t told anybody this, but my hands have been tingly and numb since the accident. My grip strength isn’t there. It doesn’t matter what the doctor says. If I don’t get full function back, there’s no way I’ll be able to ride competitively again. A bull rider lives or dies by his grip.”
Ashley’s mouth fell open. She never in a million years thought she’d hear him admit to something like that. “Is there a chance you’ll be all right? I mean, able to compete again?”
He ducked his head in a nod of sorts. “Anything’s possible. It’s just less possible than it might have been if my hands were cooperating.”
Her heart ached for him. She knew exactly how much he wanted to ride again, and she understood the devastation that he was feeling. A quiet devastation, because he hadn’t told a soul about it until now.
And he had chosen to tell her.
She pushed the pillow aside, scooted forward, and laced her fingers with his. She waited until he met her eyes, then tilted her chin up and said, “No matter what happens, you’re going to be all right, Mack. We both will. Even if we have to adjust our plans, we’ll be okay.”
He tightened his fingers over hers, but didn’t break eye contact. “Sure about that? I’m a bit of a hot mess, in case you haven’t noticed.”
She lifted their joined hands to her lips and kissed the tips of his fingers. “You’re recalibrating. I know you’ll land on your feet when all is said and done. Especially once the ladies get a look at the Sagebrush ad you’re going to make.” Dropping her voice to a whisper, she added, “I have faith in you.”
When she was done kissing his fingertips, she shifted their hands and kissed each of his palms. He was watching her when she looked up, his jade eyes intense but still.
“I don’t deserve you, Ash.”
Without speaking, she stood, swiveled, and sat gently in his lap. His breathing kicked up—she could feel each rise and fall of his muscled chest against her side—but otherwise, he was holding still. Giving her the reins. Waiting to see what she would do.
Her own heart beat wildly, reminding her of the way he’d always made her feel in high school. This was different, though. Better. They weren’t kids anymore, and she knew what she wanted. “We’ve both made mistakes. And the thing is, I’ve never quite gotten over you. But right now, I don’t want to.”
Wrapping her arms around his neck with the utmost care, she lowered her lips to his and kissed him.
Chapter 16
It was like a scene straight from his fantasies.
Gorgeous, too-good-for-him Ashley was draped across his lap and kissing him as if he were the only man on Earth. He held perfectly still, allowing her to have full access to him without influencing or guiding her at all. And Lord help him, it was hotter than hell.
Their tongues tangled as her arms tightened around his neck. Her fingers delved into his hair, sending shivers down his back—a sensation that actually felt good for once. Really good. He held off from touching her for several minutes as they kissed, his heart hammering against his chest and his breath getting both shallower and faster.
Finally, just when he couldn’t take it anymore, she broke the kiss, looked down at him with half-lidded eyes, and whispered, “Shall we relocate?”
“Definitely,” he said, putting a world of feeling behind the single word.
She smiled, soft and easy. Standing, she took off her clothes, piece by piece, while he sat spellbound from the chair, watching. She was so damn beautiful. Perfect, really, to his eyes. His disrobing wasn’t nearly so artful, and within moments they fell together on the cool sheets.
This time, he took the lead, exploring the dips and valleys of her incredibly soft skin with his fingertips while his tongue explored the velvet folds of her mouth. He relished every inch of her. This moment had been a long, long time coming. He’d been a damn fool back in the day, and he intended to make up for it many times over tonight.
After a long, deep kiss, she pulled back and smiled. “I want to take this slow. Wouldn’t want to exasperate any of those injuries.”
His answering grin was wide and full of promise. “Darlin’, I’ve got all night.”
They took their sweet time, giving and taking pleasure in equal measures. Her fingers traced each of the scars, old and new, scattered across his body. Her mouth found his neck, his earlobes, and a rather delicious path straight down his belly. He in turn worshipped every inch of her, not taking a single thing for granted.
To his surprise, she pulled a condom from the nightstand. She grinned at his raised eyebrows, her dark eyes dancing with mischief. “With the adjoining rooms, I thought it was best to be prepared.”
The Return (BookShots Flames) Page 7
