by Elena Aitken
With Cam sitting next to him, Evan could barely concentrate on what Christy was saying. Something about permits and road blockades. He jotted a few things down in his notepad so he could remember to get clarification from her later and spent the rest of the meeting thinking about how he might be able to convince Cam to go out with him.
Not like a date.
No. That would be…
He cleared his throat and forced himself to refocus. A date would be, well…it would be nice. Of course it would be nice. They’d had a lot of fun dating once upon a time.
That was a long time ago, but still.
He snuck a glance in her direction as she got up to help Christy clear the table of coffee cups.
The meeting was over and suddenly the idea that he would have to get up and she would no longer be sitting next to him sent a ripple of disappointment through him.
Evan had just made up his mind to ask Cam for a coffee date the moment she got back to the table when he heard the front door opening and then Christy’s voice wishing her a good night.
Shit.
He jumped up so quickly, his leg jostled the table and the remaining few people seated there shot him a look. “Sorry,” he muttered. “I just realized I had to get going and…”
He trailed off. There was no point trying to explain himself. Besides, it didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered in that moment was getting to Cam before she got in her car and drove off.
It was ridiculous and made no sense at all, but somehow, Evan knew if he continued to let the distance between them grow, his opportunity would be lost forever.
His opportunity for what, he couldn’t quite pin down, but the drive in him to see her and spend more time with her was something he hadn’t felt for…years.
Evan mumbled something to Christy as he pushed past her and out the front door. He was pretty sure he heard her giggle behind him before she closed the door on him, but it didn’t matter.
“Cam!” She startled and dropped her purse at the sound of her name. Evan rushed over and picked it up before she could. “Sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I just wanted to catch you before you left.”
“It’s fine.” She reached out and Evan noticed he was clutching her purse to his chest.
“Oh, sorry.” He thrust it back to her and ran a hand through his hair in an effort to still his nerves that were quickly getting to be very annoying. He had no reason to be nervous around her. It’s not as if it were the first time they’d spoken since she’d been back. And really, it’s not as though she were a stranger.
“Thanks.” She turned toward her car again.
“Are you in a hurry?”
She left the driver’s side door ajar and turned to face him. “Sorry?”
“Are you in a hurry?” he asked again. “I was just thinking that since you’re here and I’m here and I’m not working tonight, maybe you would like to grab some dinner. I mean, it is dinner time and it’s been awhile since we’ve caught up. I mean, properly caught up. Sorry, I’m rambling.” He smiled at her and the smile she gave him in return both calmed him and made him even more nervous.
“Dinner?”
He nodded. “It’s usually the meal people eat at this time of day.”
She laughed then and for the first time since she’d been back in town, Evan caught a glimpse of the eighteen-year-old Cam. “I’d like to—”
“Great. Riverside has a nice—”
“But.” She cut him off with a shake of her head. “I should get home for Morgan.”
Right. Morgan. Her daughter. Of course. He nodded.
“I mean, maybe another…” She didn’t bother finishing.
“It’s okay. I get it,” he said. “You have responsibilities and—”
Fortunately for Evan, considering he had no idea how he was going to finish his statement, he was interrupted by the ringing of Cam’s cell phone.
She fished it out of her purse and glanced up at him. “Speak of the devil.”
“Of course.” He took a few steps away to give her a bit of privacy, but didn’t want to go too far. He wasn’t ready to give up on her yet. Not by a long shot.
He didn’t even bother trying not to eavesdrop. Morgan could be in trouble again. It was bullshit, but he needed some way to justify his behavior in his head.
“You’re at Jess’s?” Cam asked over the phone. “Yes, I remember her mom, Shelby.”
Morgan was friends with Jess Johnson. Evan nodded approvingly to himself. Jess was a good kid.
“I suppose that’s okay.”
What was okay?
“Do you have homework?”
Evan stared at his feet and kicked at a rock.
“Okay then,” Cam said to Morgan. “No later than nine, please.”
Nine? Evan’s ears perked up and the second Cam ended the call, he turned around and asked, “Free for dinner now?”
He half expected her to come up with another excuse. But to his surprise, she nodded and shrugged as she tossed her cell phone back into her purse. “It looks that way.”
If sitting next to her at Christy’s kitchen table was hard, sitting across from Cam at the Riverside Grill, one of the better restaurants in Timber Creek, was complete and total torture.
He wanted to reach across the table and take her hand the way he would have when they were young. He stuffed his hands under his legs to keep from doing just that.
“This is nice,” he finally said after they’d ordered their drinks. A beer for him and a glass of white wine for her. “Kind of like old times.”
Her face blanched a little and he immediately regretted his choice of words, but then she smiled and nodded. “It is nice.”
Looking for a safe topic, Evan asked about her parents and learned they were happily retired in Arizona, spending their days golfing enjoying the heat.
“I love them and I love to visit,” Cam said. “But I could never live there. It’s so hot and dry and almost…lifeless in a way. Not like the forest and the mountains.”
“I was wondering why you chose to come back to Timber Creek.”
She stiffened for a moment, but then nodded and said, “It’s always felt like home.”
They lapsed into silence again and when their drinks arrived, they both drank deeply.
“I’m really glad you—”
“I wanted to—”
They spoke at the same time and Cam laughed. Once again, Evan was struck by the sound. Just as it did when he was a kid, the sound rippled through him.
“Go ahead,” he said to Cam.
“I was just going to say that I wanted to thank you for being so helpful towards Morgan with everything. She seems to be responding better than I thought she would to her community service.”
“She is.” Evan settled back in his chair. “I get the feeling that she’s caused you a bit of trouble, but she really is a great kid. You’ve done a great job with her.”
Cam shook her head, unwilling to accept the compliment. “It’s been hard. That’s for sure. I mean, she was already starting to act out a little bit but with everything with her father lately…well, let’s just say that it definitely hasn’t helped matters.”
Her father.
The words echoed in his head.
“About her father,” he started. “Is he…” Evan wanted to ask her about him. What, he wasn’t sure, but he felt as if he needed to know something about him. All the unasked questions died on his lips and he said instead, “He’s not very involved then?”
She made a sound that gave Evan the only answer he needed. “He’s too busy with his new pregnant girlfriend and the new life he wants to live to be too concerned with her. It’s really hard to watch, actually.”
“I bet. I mean, I’m not a father…” He shook his head a little. It was too easy to allow himself to imagine what it would be like if he were Morgan’s dad. “But I can’t imagine walking away from my kid. I mean, I understand that marriages break up sometimes.” He
gave Cam a sympathetic nod, but she didn’t seem remotely upset by his words. “But regardless…”
“You can’t break up with your kids,” she finished. “At least you shouldn’t.”
“Exactly,” Evan agreed with her. “I’m really sorry, Cam.”
She shrugged. “I guess I should have seen it coming.”
“What? The divorce? Or…”
“All of it, really.” She took another sip of her wine. “Ryan and I never should have married.”
Evan’s stomach did a somersault, but he didn’t say anything.
“I always knew it, too. But when we found out I was pregnant and Ryan asked me to marry him, it just kind of seemed like my only option, you know? And it’s not that it was all bad. It just wasn’t…”
“Right.”
“Exactly.” She smiled sadly and for a moment Evan thought she might tell him that it could never have been right with Ryan because he wasn’t Evan. Instead, she shook her head a little and leaned forward on her elbow. “But whatever I thought about our marriage, I never in a million years thought he’d turn out to be a crappy father, happy with only the slightest contact with Morgan.”
“I’m really sorry to hear that.”
“Actually, I’m really glad that she was assigned to carry out her community service with you, Evan.” The statement took him off guard, and it must have shown on his face. She laughed. “Seriously. I mean, I probably wouldn’t have said that years ago, but it’s good for her to spend time with someone who genuinely seems to care about her.” Cam waved her hands in front of her face. “I mean…you just seem to have a good way with her. I didn’t mean that you—”
“I know what you mean.” He reached out then and took her hand, squeezing it gently before lowering it to the table. “And I do care about her. How could I not? She’s your daughter, Cam. And you,” he continued. “I care about you, too. If you need anything…please know I’ll be there for you. No matter what.”
He looked deep into her eyes that were so much the same and all at once, totally unfamiliar.
“Thanks, Evan.”
She didn’t move her hand, which Evan took to be a good sign. A very good sign. Of what, he wasn’t sure. But the only thing he was really sure of was that he wanted to spend more time with Cam. A lot more. Because the feelings she stirred in him, just by being close, were way too intense to ignore. And one thing he knew for sure…no other woman had ever made him feel the way Cam Riley did.
There were a million reasons why Cam shouldn’t have been out for dinner with Evan. And a million more why she shouldn’t have let him hold her hand. But for the life of her, none of those reasons came to mind as she sat across the table from him and looked into his eyes.
“You really don’t need to thank me, Cam.” Evan’s voice was low. He held her gaze. “I would do anything for you. Always.”
His words reached directly to a shuttered-off place in her heart. She believed him. Evan had been the only man besides her dad who’d ever made her feel safe and even now, after all their history and the space between them, he still had the same effect on her.
“I’m not going to lie,” he said. “I’m surprised you agreed to come out with me tonight. Happy, but surprised. I kind of had the impression that you might be avoiding me.”
She laughed, but it didn’t sound natural even to her own ears and she pulled her hand away to pick up her glass of wine. She could have lied. That would have been the easier option to be sure, but she was exhausted.
“I was,” she admitted. “I mean, I am avoiding you. Sort of.”
“You are?” Evan raised an eyebrow.
“Well, obviously not right now.”
“Obviously.” He didn’t bother trying to hide his grin. “But you were?”
She nodded. It was pointless to keep going the way they had been. She was back in town, and he was there and they couldn’t avoid each other forever. Besides, Cam was realizing more and more that she didn’t want to.
“It’s kind of awkward, don’t you think?”
Evan shrugged but finally nodded. “Okay,” he conceded. “It’s a little awkward. But it shouldn’t be.” He looked down at their hands. “At least, I don’t want it to be.” When he looked up, he was looking right into her eyes, and the intensity of the connection took her off guard.
“I don’t want it to be either. It would be nice to be friends again.” She meant what she said. Once upon a time, Evan had been everything to her. Besides her girlfriends, she’d told him everything. He was her best friend, her confidante, her…everything. Until he wasn’t. “How have you been?” It was a lame question. Especially because what she really wanted to ask him was where he’d been. More specifically, that day she’d gone to his house and his mother had told her he’d left town and left her alone.
“I’ve been…good.” Evan laughed. “It seems so crazy that we think we can catch up sixteen years in only one conversation.”
“Maybe the highlights then?”
“The highlights.” He nodded his agreement. “Well, there’s not much to tell really. After one tour, I was discharged, joined the police academy and got my assignment here in town. I’ve been protecting the streets of Timber Creek from the criminal types of distracted drivers ever since.” He winked and she smiled. Cam hadn’t missed the fact that he’d skipped over his time in the army, and whatever circumstances led him to enlisting in the first place. Maybe he assumed she knew that part. That was the part of his history that she wanted the most details on, but she couldn’t bring herself to ask him. It would hurt too much to hear him say why he’d left her.
There were somethings better left unsaid.
“And your girlfriend?”
“I don’t have one.”
She couldn’t deny the little spark of joy she felt at that. “Not at all?” Cam knew she shouldn’t be prying, but she couldn’t seem to help herself.
But if Evan was bothered by the question, he didn’t show it. “Well sure, I’ve dated over the years. But there hasn’t been anyone serious. Not recently anyway.”
She didn’t know what to say to that because as well as the little spark of joy she’d had, Cam also felt sad. A guy like Evan should be happy. He should have someone. She told him as much.
“I don’t know what to tell you, Cam.” Evan fiddled with his glass. “There just wasn’t anyone…well, it didn’t seem…tell me about you.”
Cam sat back in her chair with a start. “Me?”
“Yes. You.” Evan caught the waitress’s attention and with a quick gesture ordered another round of drinks. They hadn’t ordered their meals yet, but neither of them seemed to be in a hurry.
“Oh, I don’t know.” She shook her head. “I mean, there’s not really much to say.”
Evan crossed his arms on the table and leaned toward her. “Bullshit. I think there’s quite a bit to say. And really, Cam, I’d like to hear it. Never in a million years did I think that you would one day be sitting across from me like this.”
She shook her head sadly. “Neither did I, but probably for very different reasons.” Cam still hadn’t spoken to anybody about her divorce, or even her marriage to Ryan for that matter. It should seem strange to talk to Evan of all people about it, but it didn’t. She drained the rest of her wine and sat back in her seat. “What do you want to know?”
Evan’s smile was kind. “All of it. Morgan is fifteen, so I assume you…”
Those were the details Cam didn’t want to get into. She did not want to sit across from Evan and tell him that when he broke her heart, she went running into the arms of the first man she met. It was humiliating. Especially because she ended up marrying him when it was the last thing she should have done.
“Ryan and I married pretty quickly,” Cam said, avoiding the unasked question. “In hindsight, we never should have got married. But there was the baby and we were young, and it just seemed like the right thing to do. But it was wrong right from the start.”
Evan’s fac
e scrunched into a frown but he didn’t say anything so she kept talking.
“I don’t regret it. Not really anyway. Ryan and I had some good times; we just weren’t well suited overall. We wanted different things.” Mostly Ryan wanted to live a single lifestyle, complete with all the freedom that came with it. But Cam didn’t bother saying that. “I looked the other way for a long time, but it’s hard to ignore when your husband openly declares his new relationship, complete with love child, on local television. Especially when he’s a bit of a celebrity.” Cam made air quotes and rolled her eyes. “I don’t do well with public attention.” Cam dropped her head. “But you know what? It is probably a good thing, because it forced me into action. Sometimes when I think about how long I stayed in an unhappy relationship, it just makes me mad. And a little embarrassed actually. Who knows how long I would’ve stayed, if Ryan hadn’t forced my hand.”
Evan reached out and took her hand again. His touch felt good. Familiar.
“You can’t beat yourself up,” he said. “Sometimes we just have to do the best that we can in the situation we’re in.”
It felt as if there were a lot more behind his words than Evan was saying. Could he be talking about himself?
She squeezed his hand. “Well, either way, that’s in the past. And hopefully soon, I can put the whole thing behind me. I mean, as much as I can. There is still Morgan to think about.” She squeezed her eyes shut and visions of her daughter’s eyes filled with pain and hurt the night before when she got off the phone with her father and another cancelled date between them consumed her. “If there was one thing I could change, it would be the relationship he has with Morgan. It breaks my heart to see him pulling away from her. And it’s the last thing she needs right now. I mean, even before the divorce, things were…”
“She’s been a bit of a handful, has she?”
Cam laughed out loud. “You could say that.”
“Well, if there’s one thing I know, it’s troubled teenagers. Don’t forget, I was one once.”
As if she could forget. His rebellious side was one of the things that she both loved and hated about him.
“Look at me now,” Evan said with a satisfied grin. “You could say that I turned out all right.”
