“Not really,” she said. “Are you?”
Swallowing again, he shook his head. “No.”
Her smile was gentle and a touch unsure. Taking a deep breath, he rounded the bed and slid beside her, under the covers. She laid back on the pillows so he did the same, both of them staring at the ceiling.
Her hand reached for his under the blanket and squeezed. “Is this okay?”
He turned to his side, close enough to count the sparse freckles dotting her nose. “Are you sure about this, Kate?”
She smiled again and nodded. “I love you, Anthony.”
Relief came with a deep breath as contentment filled him. This was right. “I love you too.”
Leaning close, he brushed his lips to hers and her fingers teased softly through his hair, sending chills down his spine. Pulling back slowly, he whispered, “Can I look at you?”
She nodded and he gently lowered the covers. His breath stilled in his chest. She was so damn perfect. Her porcelain skin flushed as the tips of her rosy breasts tightened into delectable little peaks. “You’re so pretty, Katie.”
Her smile was shy, but trusting. “You can touch me.”
He lifted his hand, hesitating for a final second, unsure how to touch someone so beautiful. His fingers gently lowered, tracing her shoulder and gradually dropped to her breast. When he brushed his thumb over her nipple she drew in a sharp breath, her chest pressing into his touch. Leaning down, he kissed her milky skin and she moaned. The sweet sound crawled into him, wreaking havoc on his heart.
Her fingers pulled him closer, sifting through his hair and down to his back as he pulled the tight tip of her breast into his mouth. Rolling over her, he stilled, careful not to put too much weight on her. His gaze drifted lower and he saw the slightest swell at her abdomen.
Looking into her eyes, he eased down and kissed her. With every caress of her fingers his body came alive. Their mouths teased as his hands gently explored her curves. Little sighs filled the room, drawing his senses to life and soon he was rocking over her, breathing jaggedly, his body begging for more.
Pushing the blankets away, he slid down her body, placing gentle kisses on her breasts and hips. Her tapered legs shifted the lower he moved and there was no resistance as he nudged her thighs apart. His fingers teased her sex, sliding through her arousal and gliding into her by the slightest degree. The heat of her channel coated his seeking fingers, dragging his mind to a place of no return.
She moaned and spread her legs wider, her face tipping back as he pleasured her slowly. Inching down the mattress, he kissed her thighs and fit his shoulders between her legs. She was perfect there too. Keeping his touch light, he pressed his tongue into her and she gasped.
He teased her folds, kissing and caressing and soon she was panting and breathlessly repeating his name. Then she did something incredible. Her body shivered as her fingers curled into the blankets and she arched into him. Her cries pitched as she softly pleaded that it was too much and not enough. He closed his lips around her sensitive clit as his fingers pressed deep, driving her over the edge again and again.
As her strength waned her body settled into the mattress and she sighed. He cradled her in his arms, nipping her shoulders with soft kisses. “I’ve never felt anything like that,” she whispered, a telling blush on her cheeks. Her fingers brushed the button of his pants. “Take these off.”
Reaching between them, he loosened his pants and slid them off his legs. She nestled into him, her mouth pressing sweet kisses onto his chest as her hand traveled down his stomach.
He sucked in a breath as she cupped him through his shorts, her touch firm and intoxicating. Driven by a burst of desire, he turned her face and kissed her deeply. Her fingers pressed into the material of his shorts, curled around his length, pulling and teasing him to the point of insanity.
The moment she slid her hand behind the fabric and caught his flesh in her palm the pleasure nearly choked him. “Jesus, Kate.” There was no catching his breath.
Holding him tight, she stroked him until he could barely hold off his release. He caught her wrist and kissed her, slowly thrusting into her palm. “Are you ready?”
She nodded and eased back as he reached for his pants. His hands trembled as he slid the condom over his flesh. Fitting his body over hers, he looked into her eyes. “I never want you to forget this moment, Kate. Nothing that came before matters.”
She brushed her lips softly over his. “I’ll never forget this moment as long as I live, Anthony.”
He pressed into her and shut his eyes. Tight heat encased him as he took a second to process just how incredible her body fit with his. Perfect.
Watching her through his lashes, he whispered, “I love you. No matter what happens, you’ll always be my first love.”
“And you’ll always be mine.”
On the drive home Ant made several decisions, but he kept them to himself. First, he had no intention of breaking up with Kate, for college or any other reason. Two, he wasn’t telling his parents the truth about the baby. He might be a naïve man, but right now he saw no feasible reason why they couldn’t make this work.
Kate was an honest person, and so was he, for the most part, but maintaining the illusion that the baby was his would benefit them in the end. Something told him this was protecting not only Kate, but her child as well. It seemed the honorable thing to do and he wanted to be the man to do it.
As they reached the McCullough’s property he smiled at her, thinking her even more beautiful than just a minute ago. “How much trouble do you think you’ll be in?”
She shrugged. “We’re adults. They’ll be mad I didn’t call, but there really isn’t anything they can do.”
She was right, but even he knew he’d be walking into a shitstorm. “Do you have any regrets?”
Her smile was one he’d always remember, full of secrets they shared. No longer were there secrets that divided them. “Not a single one.”
He reached for her hand and pressed a kiss to the backs of her fingers. “Me neither.”
When he dropped her off he promised he’d be back in a few hours. That seemed the maximum time he could go without seeing her before his mind went mad with missing her. August was sure to kill him when he left for school.
Once he was alone in the car, his nerves got the better of him. His parents would have a hundred questions and he wasn’t sure if he knew which answers to give. As he parked in the driveway he took a galvanizing breath and prayed whatever he walked into wasn’t as bad as he imagined.
Stepping into the kitchen, he paused. His mother was at the table clipping coupons and her eyes briefly met his then her gaze shifted away, her head lowering and hiding her expression.
“Hey, Ma.”
“Anthony.” Her greeting was clipped as she sliced her good sheers through the sales ads.
He slid his keys on the counter. “Where’s Dad?”
“Sleeping on the couch.”
“Oh.” Sleeping sounded like a great idea since he hadn’t had much the night before, staying up until the sun rose with Kate and learning all the many facets of her. It was the best night of his life and he’d never felt so complete, so certain that she was the one. “I’m going to go—”
“Have a seat.”
Right. He slid into the chair and eyed the scissors as she set them on the table, wishing they weren’t there.
Her lips slightly trembled, but she contained her emotions well. “Do you have something to say to me?”
“I’m sorry about yesterday.”
Her mouth pursed and she leveled him with a withering look only mothers seemed capable of making. “Do you love this girl, Anthony?”
His chest seemed to ripple with all the affection he held and his answer came in a rasp. “Very much.”
She continued to study him for a long minute. The longer she scrutinized him the more he recalled how hard it was to deceive the woman that gave birth to him. Somehow, she always got the tr
uth out of him. It was like she had some sort of crystal ball. But he held strong. He’d made up his mind and he was keeping his vow. This was between him and Kate. Nothing else mattered.
Finally, she said, “It’s trash night. Take the cans to the curb before you do anything else.”
What? He wasn’t one to look a gift horse in the mouth, so he wasn’t going to argue. If the trash cans were her greatest concern at the moment, then so be it. Relieved, he hesitantly rose from the table. “I’ll take them down now.”
As soon as he reached the door, she said, “And Anthony?”
He stilled. He knew that was too easy. “Yeah, Ma?”
“You are going to college.”
He silently chuckled. “I know, Ma.” Realizing she was doing her best to accept the situation, he walked back to the table and kissed her head. “I love you, Ma.”
She lightly patted his cheek. “You better. Your father was a maniac last night. So long as we’re clear that this will not change your immediate plans, we’ll figure everything else out. Now go take care of the trash.”
Chapter Twelve
Kate entered the kitchen and hesitated at the sight of her mother. “Hi, Mum.”
Turning from the sink, she eyed her from head to toe. “You look well.”
Nervously, Kate approached the counter and picked up a cloth to dry the dishes as they were washed. “I feel okay.”
“Oh, I’d thought you’d feel a bit more than okay.”
“I’m sorry I left last night, Mum. I was embarrassed.”
Her mother sighed. “You better get a thicker skin, love. Children don’t leave much room for mortification. Pretty soon you’ll be pissing with the door wide open and talking to yourself like a regular old nutcase. Motherhood does that to a person.”
She frowned, not expecting this casual welcome. “Aren’t you mad?”
Her mom glanced at her and smirked. “What good would that do? Colleen told me what happened. She said she gave you money and I figured after everything Anthony did, you’d be wanting to spend some time alone to figure things out…and other things.”
The tension in her shoulders loosened.
“You’re a good girl, Katherine. Got yourself into some trouble this one time, but I know you’re not the sort to go lookin’ for more. You’re an adult, soon to be a mother, I think the best thing to do is start lettin’ you decide what’s best for yourself.”
Kate laughed, a bit outside of her senses, and wondered if her mother was always this cool or if this was something that came with age. “Thanks for understanding.”
She shut off the faucet and faced her, her vibrant green eyes serious. “That boy lied for you last night, Katherine.”
“I didn’t ask him to.”
“I know.” She pulled her to the table and they sat down. “There aren’t a lot of men that would chance their honor for the honor of someone else. Your father and I were impressed, to say the least.”
She didn’t want them getting ahead of themselves. “I told him to tell his parents the truth.”
Her mother cocked her head to the side. “We’ll see if that’s necessary. He obviously cares very deeply for you. I say, let him do this for you. If anything changes, he knows you aren’t the sort of person to cause others harm.”
Her heart pinched. “He can’t take responsibility for something he didn’t do.”
Leaning over the table her mother whispered, “But maybe he wishes he had done it.”
Kate rolled her eyes. “Mum, he’s going to college. His life’s just beginning. Trust me, he’s not wishing for this.”
She patted her hands. “Well, for what it’s worth, Anthony has won over your parents and we hope you keep him around.”
He’d won her over too, so much so, she worried how she’d ever live without him in her days. “I’m going to take a nap for a while.”
“Okay, love. I’ll call you when supper’s ready.”
When she reached her room she didn’t sleep, despite her exhaustion. She studied her room and slowly unpinned keepsakes from her wall. When she had all her childhood memories packed away, she sat on the bed and stared at the blank space. Maybe she should paint?
Something had changed over the past twenty-four hours. The tension that came with school had disappeared and in its absence, Kate realized just how much school had been weighing on her, how great the relief of freedom was.
She’d spent her entire life preparing, that’s what kids did, of course. They prepared for kindergarten, then moved on the middle-school. Each benchmark came with unknown expectations and the anticipation that eventually life would begin. Going to high school had been the highlight of her life. She’d embarked on endless possibilities, and entered a world of new freedoms. Sometimes she forgot to think about all the tomorrows and how one snap decision could change everything. She wasn’t so forgetful anymore.
When she started her senior year there came an immense pressure to be something. Her friends somehow identified fields that fit their futures with a certainty she didn’t share. Even Ant had somehow, after years of playing sports, figured out he wanted to work in the medical field. If she looked at her collective past, nothing truly jumped out at her as a special talent.
Her years played back like pictures of a children’s book, fluttering too fast for her to truly see all that hid on each page. She couldn’t quite recall a time before Colin. And then came the twins. They were all so different and she wondered what sort of child her baby would be, allowing herself to embrace the excitement that slipped in behind the wonder.
While Luke was wild, Finn was refined. Braydon was an angel, the timing of his birth perfect, as she was still young, but wanted to be mature and still play house. She was enamored by him, and couldn’t recall ever loving someone more. Her worry mimicked her mother’s and the first time he’d skinned his knee she was sickened with dread, hovering over him for days so he wouldn’t get hurt again. But he did.
There were scrapes and bruises and once Kelly came along, endless bickering and boyish battles. Sheilagh was a surprise, as she suspected her mother didn’t have any girl genes left to give. She was so dainty compared to her little brother and Kate desperately wanted to put braids and bows in her hair, but Sheilagh was a little devil and would rip them out and race after her brothers, determined to keep pace, proving whatever boys could do she could manage just as well.
If she knew anything about children, and thinking back, she knew a lot, she knew each child was unique and special. Somehow, removing the clutter of her past, meaningless relics that told the story of a girl and nothing of the woman, made it easier to see the future. She wanted to be everything for her baby—the hero her dad would always be and the well of endless nurturing her mother provided.
Her hand rested on her belly as she smiled, truly letting her happiness settle and take shape in a way she hadn’t thus far. This was her baby and she already felt like a mother. The void that widened as her peers recognized their callings slowly filled with love. A sense of peace settled over her, leaving no room for the regret that once had been.
“Kate?” Her brother, Colin, knocked on her door and stepped in. “Can I take your car into town? My headlight’s out and it’s getting dark.”
“Sure. Keys are on the counter.”
He glanced around her room. “It’s so empty in here.”
She smiled at the boxes on the floor, their presence emphasizing her certainty that she was ready to move on. “I’m trying to make room for new things.”
He grinned, blue eyes soft as he stared at her. “You’re starting to show.”
Colin would be next to leave, and then the twins and Braydon, and one day this big old house would be empty after they all moved on. Strange that she might be the last to truly leave.
Her eyes took him in, such a constant presence in her days. “I’m going to miss you when you’re gone.” Knowing her brother, he’d travel farthest of all. Colin’s goals were slightly different than most
kids his age.
“Mum’s upset with me. She keeps pushing other colleges at me, but…”
“You know what you want.” The first time Colin announced he’d wanted to dedicate his life to God she’d thought he’d change his mind—they all did. But over the last few years his dedication only grew.
He quietly laughed, a touch unsure. “I wish there were guarantees in life, but sometimes there’s only faith. I think this is right for me.” His attention returned to her stomach. “But you make me question how much I’ll truly be giving up.”
“Me?”
He nodded, his eyes uncertain. “I never thought of us having kids until you were in this situation. I guess that’s silly. Eventually, you’ll all have families, even Sheilagh.”
“You’ll have a family too. You’ll have us.”
His lips pursed. “But I’ll never have what you’ll have. Envy’s a tough thing to handle and I don’t know if it’ll fade with time.”
How strange to think her brother might envy her situation. But knowing he’d become a priest and never know what it is to be a parent, made her sad, once again delivering a heap of gratitude to her heart. She rested her hand over her belly. “I’m happy.”
He met her gaze and smiled. “And I’m happy for you. You’re going to make an incredible mum.”
When Colin left she made a list of items she wanted for her room. In a sense, she believed she was redoing her life. Though she didn’t know how much baby clothes or diapers cost, she guessed and estimated what sort of price tag her future would hold. At first it seemed affordable, but as each little item added up so did the pressure.
Taking her list, she went downstairs to find her father. “Dad?”
He looked up from the television. “Is it time to eat?”
“No.” She sat beside him on the couch, her fingers holding her list tight. “Can I start work tomorrow?”
His brow lifted. “Do you need money for something?”
“Dad, come on.”
“You can start, but I want you to keep looking for something better. It’s not a glamorous job, sweetheart.”
How to Love Her: McCullough Mountain (McCullough Mountain Prequel) Page 14
