Jaden bit the inside of her mouth and ignored the pain as she watched Cracker and Finn follow the sorcerer from the chamber. Nico, however, refused to follow and took several more steps until he was inches from her. He was angry, his hands clenched to his sides.
She knew he wouldn’t leave unless she told him to. “Go, Nico, I’ll be fine. Castille and I need to . . . come to an understanding of sorts.”
The jaguar turned eyes that were as flat as obsidian on Julian, and Nico growled menacingly. “If you touch her, I will kill you.”
“You could try, but it wouldn’t end well for you.”
Nico took a step toward him, but Jaden stepped between them and put her hand on his chest. “Nico, I’ll only be a minute.” She watched as conflicting emotions ran over his handsome face, and, in that moment, Jaden wished with all her heart that Nico belonged to her.
Her life would be so much easier.
Instead, she was forever linked to a man who disliked her as much as she did him.
“Go,” she said softly. She felt Nico tense beneath her touch. He looked down at her and didn’t bother to hide the need, the pain that lay there. She knew on some level he thought of her as his. That she was his responsibility.
She also knew it was a facade. The man had loved intensely and lost everything. He still belonged to Bella even though she no longer walked the earth.
How would it feel to have someone love you that way? She ached at the thought.
“Please,” she whispered. He glanced at Julian once more. Her gaze followed Nico as he left the room. And then she was left in silence with the man who twisted her insides so badly that she felt ill.
“We need to tell Jaxon and the others.” Her tone was matter-of-fact as she turned back to Julian.
“No.” His one-word answer was simple, yet she sensed the intensity of his resolve.
“You’re unbelievable,” she snorted, and threw her hands in the air. “You think you’re the Lone Ranger or something? Riding in to save the day? That’s not how it works.”
“No one can know. It’s bad enough you are in possession of such knowledge.” His eyes glittered, their depths like liquid honey. He moved quickly, gliding across the room with the sensuality and grace of his animal. “No one can be trusted.”
“You think Jaxon would betray you? Jagger? Are you fucking nuts?” she huffed, impotent anger burning her insides. “I’m no fan of Jaxon. Hell, he’s just as arrogant as you are, seems to be a Castille trait. But I do know he’d protect what’s his with his life.” She looked at him, her eyes wide. “You’re his family.”
Julian blew out hot air. She felt the caress of it against her cheek and shuddered as it fell across her skin. Goose bumps broke out along her arms, and she kept herself stiff, when all she wanted to do was wrap herself tight and gather a bit of warmth to her.
She was so cold and tired of it all.
“I know my brothers would give their lives for me,” he answered harshly. “I can’t vouch for anyone else in their organization. If word gets out about the true power of this portal, every sick and depraved son of a bitch is gonna want in on this game. Your enemies will be tenfold within hours.”
She opened her mouth as anger lit her tongue, but nothing came out. He was right. As much as it killed her to admit it, he was. “I hate secrets,” she whispered instead.
Julian smiled then, his even white teeth a contrast to the dark color of his skin. Her breath hitched in her chest, and an unfamiliar ache took hold.
“I’m surprised. Secrets seem to be second nature to you.” His gaze moved to the clan tattoos that lay at her neck, and his hand followed them. She flinched as his fingers caressed the intricate design. “DaCosta jaguar, yet you belong to a Castille.”
His eyes were no longer golden but flecked with specks of black. His voice was rough. “I wonder,” he continued, but then stopped.
“What?” she mouthed softly, strangely entranced by the moment.
“If we’d met under different circumstance. If we didn’t”—he exhaled—“have all this shit to deal with, would we still feel this way?”
Jaden gazed at him, her heart tight with emotion. “How do you feel?”
Julian frowned, his hand fell from her flesh. “Confused, empty, and filled with a craving for something that belongs to me but I’m not sure I want.”
Her chest split into slices of hurt, yet she kept her face devoid of emotion. She would never let him know how much his cruel words tore at her.
“Just so you know, for future reference, it’s you who belong to me.”
Calmly, she stepped away from him.
“Who pulled you from wherever the hell you were?”
Julian studied her in silence for several long moments.
“Look, if I’m going to keep this on the down low and work with you to recover this portal, I need to know everything. Bottom line, you come clean with me, and I’ll consider all our options.”
He exhaled harshly and she knew that he was struggling with something.
“Who was it? Who do you answer to?”
His right hand crept over the scars on his chest. “I don’t know,” he answered.
“What do you mean you don’t know? How can that be?” She was incredulous and didn’t believe a word he’d just spoken.
Julian cocked his head to the side and shrugged. “I know nothing of him other than his name, Bill.”
“Bill,” she repeated. He had to be joking. Yet why did the name tug at something inside her? What was she missing?
There was no time to figure it out at the moment. She filed it away.
“Bill,” he said again, though she got the impression he was worlds away from her.
“So, this Bill released you from . . . where?”
He closed his eyes. “A place of darkness, despair, and constant pain.”
“Why?” she asked as she watched him closely. She hated the sliver of compassion that she felt. The man was all kinds of wrong for her. He’d used her even though she apparently meant nothing to him.
You used him, too.
She banished her inner voice and focused on the reality. She had every reason on earth to hate the very sight of him, but . . . there was something that called to her, and it was more than just the fact she’d claimed him as a mate three years earlier.
Something pulled at the strings inside her until she was turned inside out with a need to touch him. To comfort him.
Julian’s eyes flew open, and her heart turned over at the savage look that hung in them. He growled, low and deep, from his belly, and stepped away from her.
Her eyes fell to his hands. He clenched and unclenched them, and she knew he was close to the edge.
“Why?” He laughed harshly. “Simple, really. Declan and I have the motivation needed to do whatever it takes to get the job done.”
“And I don’t?” she asked incredulously. “I’ve given up the last several years of my life in order to find the fucking thing and make sure it’s sealed forever.”
Julian’s eyes darkened until the gold was gone completely. The dangerous edge she’d sensed earlier rose to the fore and draped his powerful shoulders in a caress of darkness.
He smiled, a cold, calculated grin that did nothing to warm the lethal look in his eyes. “Lady, if we’re not successful in finding the portal, I’m screwed for eternity. The pain, the darkness that eats at me every second of every day will win. It will never stop.”
Her gaze fell once more to the scars on his chest, and he thumped them with the palm of his hand. She winced as he did so but couldn’t look away.
“Pretty, aren’t they? They’re a constant reminder of what I’ve lost.”
“And what’s that?” she asked hesitantly, not sure that she really wanted to know.
“Half of my soul was ripped from me, taken in pieces. Tiny fucking pieces.” His eyes bored into hers, and she swallowed thickly at the intensity of his gaze. “Every minute that I’m in the human realm, a l
ittle more of my soul dies. If we can’t get to the portal and destroy it within seven days, we’ll be lost forever. Hell on earth will be living inside me, and I’ll never recover.”
He would be like one of them. The shades that had wandered aimlessly in the underworld, feeding off the bottom like rabid dogs.
His fingers rubbed the raw edges of his scars. “Even now I can feel it, eating at me, destroying anything that is good and honorable.” He drew in a long breath, his dark eyes steady on hers, his teeth bared. “I told you I was nothing like before. If you were smart, you’d stay far away. Who knows what the hell I’ll be in a few days, or even tomorrow?”
Jaden was silent, and even if she wanted to say something, her vocal cords were frozen.
His mouth twisted into a feral grin. “I’ll be neither human, nor shifter . . . I’ll be nothing more than a vessel of empty space and doomed to live that way for eternity.”
He turned from her and moved toward the passage, leaving her to stare after him.
“So yeah, pretty damn good motivation, don’t you think?”
Chapter 19
Jaden watched Julian disappear through the small passage, his tall frame barely able to clear the ceiling. A shiver rolled across her skin, and she hugged herself tightly. There was just way too much to process, and none of it was good.
Her mind was tired; hell, her body was pretty much done, yet there was still so far to go. Her fingers ran along her forearms, and an image of Julian’s dark skin against hers planted itself in her brain.
Such sadness grabbed at her soul. It puzzled her that he could pull such intense emotions from her.
Angrily, she pushed them away and moved toward the passage. There was no time to linger; they had no such luxury.
Cracker glanced up as she swept inside and nodded, a smile tugging the corners of his mouth. “Hey, Rambo.”
Her feet slid to a halt and the first genuine smile she’d felt in forever touched her lips. He’d been calling her Rambo since they’d first met in the jungle in Belize several months earlier. She’d been tracking a demon, intent on gathering intel, when she’d run headlong into Jaxon’s soldier.
Literally. She knew firsthand that Cracker’s head was hard as rock.
He was ex-military, and they all knew he wasn’t human. His signatures were different than any she’d come across. She’d asked Jaxon once about Cracker’s origins. The jaguar had shrugged his shoulders, said it wasn’t important. The only thing that mattered was the fact that he trusted Cracker with his life.
It had been enough for Jaden, and she’d not dwelled on it again.
“Hey,” she answered, as her gaze swept the room. She stopped as Julian’s dark eyes regarded her from several feet away. Nico stood with Finn and Declan, and suddenly she felt hot, uncomfortable, as all eyes strayed to her.
She turned back to Cracker and shook her head, “Let me guess. You just happened to be in the neighborhood and thought you’d drop in? Are you going to share how it is you managed to get down here?”
Cracker’s silvery eyes crinkled as his grin widened. “I got connections.”
She laughed at that, relaxing a bit as she moved closer to him. “Really,” she murmured. “How’d you slip past the sun god and his band of merry men?”
She arched an eyebrow as he spit to the side.
“Nanauatl owes me a few favors,” he answered simply, his words dead serious as the light moment passed.
“He owes you a favor?” She looked from Cracker to Finn, then back to the soldier. Unbelievable.
“We should probably get out of here before the bastard reconsiders. He’s not the most stable.” His eyes shifted to behind her. “He’s also not terribly fond of jaguars or magicks.”
Jaden stepped back. “No kidding.”
Cracker nodded and turned. “Follow me.”
Julian watched as Jaden disappeared down the passage behind Cracker, Finn and Nico following behind. He let out a long, painful breath, unaware he’d been holding it until he did so.
“You all right?” Declan asked quietly.
“Fucking wonderful.” He glanced at the sorcerer. “We’re no closer to finding the portal, my body feels like it’s cracking into a million pieces, my brain won’t stop, and that woman is driving me nuts.” He shook out his limbs loosely. “I’m jonesing something fierce and not liking it one damn bit.”
“You didn’t tell her everything, I hope.”
Julian sighed and shook his head. “No.”
“Good. You need to hold it together, sport.” Declan’s face darkened. “We’ve got a date with my father, and I aim on keeping it.”
He followed Declan and quickly climbed the ancient stairs that were revealed at the end of the passage.
He alighted within the temple chamber and felt a gentle woosh as the stone rippled behind him, and the passage was once more hidden. His eyes immediately sought Jaden. She stood stiffly beside Cracker, her head held proud as she gazed up at the sun god.
Nanauatl’s phantom knights were several feet away, and he saw the soft beam of morning’s kiss drifting into the darkness from outside. The entrance was once more free of debris. He ran his hands along his temples and up through the thick hair atop his head.
He couldn’t remember ever being this weary. Not even after six months in hell had he felt so tired. It wasn’t just his body. His mind and spirit were lagging. Dread sat low in his belly, and the noise that was a constant in his mind spiked as he let the weakness slide over him.
It stilled everything inside, but only for a moment, then he shrugged it off, like he’d crush a bug, and focused on the dark energy that was still heavy in the air. It energized him like a drug.
He felt like a fucking addict.
“The secrets held within these walls must stay,” Nanauatl said harshly, ignoring them all and focusing solely on Cracker.
“I give you my word,” the soldier answered.
“It’s not you I am concerned with.” The sun god nodded toward their group though his eyes remained on Jaden. His lack of respect and the intensity of his gaze rubbed Julian the wrong way.
He took a step closer to her, not realizing he’d done so until Nico shot him a dark look and stepped between Julian and Jaden. His anger was instant, harsh, and cutting, and his chest rumbled as he bared his teeth.
His control was eroding, faster than he’d like, and it pissed him off to no end that his instability was out there for everyone to see.
Nanauatl turned his attention toward Julian, and he clutched his hands at his sides tightly, holding himself rigid when all he wanted to do was hurt. Someone. Or something. It was irrational, this need to inflict pain. But then, how could someone who wasn’t whole be rational?
“You will leave here, Jaguar, and never return. Find the portal, destroy it, and you might find peace. But before you go . . . a word.”
“Ah, no. Whatever you want to say to him must be shared. The secrets have to stop,” Jaden inserted, her chest heaving as she turned her stormy eyes his way.
“Do not defy me, Jaguar,” the sun god thundered, his voice echoing crazily inside the confines of the temple. The energy darkened, and Julian took a step forward, ready to defend the woman who stared up at Nanauatl with so much defiance.
“My courtesy does not extend to you.” The air shimmered around him as his phantom knights inched closer. Their eyes were lit from behind, small spools of gold, and they began to make low, keening noises, their excitement palpable as the violent energy in the room spiked.
Cracker rolled his shoulders and turned toward the entrance. “It’s best we get going, Rambo. As much as I’d like to see you kick his royal ass, there’s no time.”
Jaden’s dark eyes turned to the sun god, and her lips pinched together tightly.
“Screw you, asshole,” she muttered under her breath as she turned to follow Cracker from the temple. Nico fell in behind her, and Finn left with them.
Declan arched an eyebrow. “Am I invited t
o this party?” he sneered, his hands held loosely at his sides. Julian saw the sparks that lit up the air around them; he felt the energy shifting in the room and knew that Declan was itching to fight.
It was seductive, the need to instigate chaos and cause pain, but Cracker was right. There was no time.
The sun god moved forward, his feet gliding across the earthen floor in a rush until he stood before them. The energy that sizzled along Nanauatl’s body was intoxicating, powerful, and Julian felt the pull of it as he gazed into the eyes of a god.
The emotion held deep within them surprised the hell out of him. Nanauatl was struggling with something.
“Did you see her?” the sun god asked quickly, his voice low, his words rushed as if he were scared anyone should hear.
“Her?” Julian repeated, not really understanding.
The sun god’s face darkened, and the earth began to tremble beneath them. “Toniella.”
An ethereal face flashed before him, one with long, elegant lines, classic features, strong hands that gripped the special dagger. The dagger of pain.
Julian glanced at Declan. The sorcerer was studying the sun god, his cold eyes intense. Declan grinned wickedly as he spoke. “I heard she was hanging down in District three, which is about one step away from where the real nasty shit happens.”
Nanauatl turned his attention from Julian and focused fiery eyes on Declan. “Do not toy with me. I will crush you.”
Declan shrugged his shoulders. “You could try”—he winked—“but I was being serious. She’s down there. Most popular whore there is, last I heard. Demons favorite tramp I think—Gang Bang Toni they call her.”
Nanauatl bellowed his rage, and Julian readied himself for battle as the phantom knights roared along with their god. Time slowed as Nanauatl rushed toward Declan. The noise inside Julian’s head deepened, and his animal shifted, eager to join in the fight.
His Darkest Salvation Page 19
