by Renee Rose
Feeling a need to escape the crowd, she slipped up to her room to have her maid replace a few pins that had fallen out of her hair. When she stepped out of her bedroom, she stopped short. Reddington stood there, an imposing threat written on his face. She drew back with a gasp, but not wanting her maid to overhear, shut the door and stood facing him.
“Does he know?” he asked softly.
She tried to regain control of her breathing, lest she swoon in her tight corset. “Know what?” she managed.
“About us.”
Her mind spun around on itself. Did he imagine they’d been lovers? Had he twisted what he’d done to her into some sort of relationship? More important, how should she answer? She did not want to encourage any bizarre notion he had about the nature of their past, nor did she want him to reveal it to Teddy. Realizing the latter was more important to her, she breathed. “No. He doesn’t. And I’m not going to tell him.”
“How could you have—” Reddington began, but stopped short at the sound of a throat being cleared.
She glanced up and her heart stopped. Teddy stood at the top of the stairs, his face pale in contrast to his dark eyes as he took them in. Dear God—what had he heard?
“Teddy!” she exclaimed, rushing forward. “I was just looking for you.”
* * *
“Were you?” Teddy asked mechanically, but he allowed her to grasp his arm so he could lead her back downstairs. He could scarcely breathe. Never before had he made such a misjudgment in his life.
Phoebe and Reddington.
He should have known it, but he had not seen. No wonder Reddington had been so angry with her the night he found Teddy at his house. She must love Reddington deeply—too much to continue living under the same roof whilst he was married to her sister. She’d done the right thing seizing an opportunity to get out, but God, he’d been had for a fool! And it was no wonder she didn’t want to consummate their marriage when her heart belonged to someone else!
When they reached the refreshment table, he handed her a glass of champagne before downing one himself. Her hands trembled so badly, she sloshed the liquid down the front of her dress trying to bring it to her lips. When she met his eyes, there were tears in them.
Though he felt as if a giant fissure had severed him in two, he could not fault her. She’d never pretended to love him, though she had fooled him into marriage. She’d been living in a painful situation and she used him as a means to get out of it. But it didn’t change the fact that she had pulled him out of a tricky spot. So they each owed each other. Or perhaps they were even now.
“It’s all right, little dove. Here,” he said, taking out his handkerchief and dabbing at the liquid on her dress. “It will be all right.”
She searched his eyes, as if trying to ascertain if he meant the dress or their sham of a marriage. She opened her lips as if to say something, but then closed them again. “Thank you,” she murmured miserably, taking the handkerchief from him and dropping her eyes to her dress where she studiously applied her attention.
He could forgive her, he could have compassion for her, but he could not stand there with her any longer with the pain in his chest only growing by the minute. “Will you excuse me?”
She looked up, worry clouding her face, but she answered immediately, “Yes, of course.”
He walked in the direction of his study, inviting Maury Stanley, his childhood friend and Kitty’s brother, to join him.
“Why did you do it, my friend? I thought you always swore you weren’t cut out for marriage. You look positively miserable.”
“Do I?” He poured two snifters of brandy and handed one to Maury, swirling his own. “It’s just a sham marriage, that’s all.”
“Ah. I see. Care to tell the story?”
He gave Maury the bare details, leaving out the part about seeing her with Reddington that evening. Airing his own scandals was one thing, but he would never reveal hers.
“Well, it sounds like you’re both prepared to make the best of it. And considering she’s offered you complete freedom, I cannot see you have much to complain about.”
“No, you’re quite right,” he agreed glumly.
He did his duty as the host for the rest of the evening, charming the crowd as was his gift, but it was a relief when they all left. He stood outside, leaning on the lamppost, watching as the servants extinguished the candles.
“You love her, don’t you?” his mother’s voice asked softly from behind.
“Mother.” He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her against his side.
“I can tell by the way you look at her.”
He sighed. “Yes, but she’s in love with someone else. Someone she cannot have.”
His mother was silent.
“You think I deserve this, don’t you?”
“Of course I don’t, Teddy. Why would you say that?”
“For all the hearts I’ve broken?”
“I’m sure there have been plenty of those, but from what I’ve observed, you’ve never been dishonest. Sometimes hearts cannot be protected, and sometimes hearts get broken. But that doesn’t mean we should lose our faith in love.”
He was surprised to hear she still believed in love. “Wise words from a woman who lived with heartache her entire marriage.”
“Yes, I loved your father. But he never loved me.”
Teddy turned to face in her surprise. “No?”
“No. He married me for my wealth, no doubt. He charmed me like he charmed everyone, but I was no different from any other woman he kept.”
She touched his chest. “You love. I can see it. Don’t give up on her. Marriage lasts a very long time, long enough to win a woman’s heart.”
He bent to kiss her graying head. “I love you, Mother.”
“You’ve always been my shining boy, Teddy. I know how hard you tried to tease me out of my sorrow. I’m sorry I wasn’t a happy mother to you.”
His breath caught to hear her speak so frankly. Her words caused his heart to contract with a painful lurch. “You were a perfect mother. Always. I’m sorry I could not have been more for you. I know I was a disappointment.”
“No! Teddy, that’s not true. I’ve never been disappointed in you.”
But it was true and they both knew it. They stared out at the moonlit yard in silence.
“I saw him in you, it’s true,” she admitted at last. “I guess I hated that. You charm just like he did—you win over the ladies and then you pass them by when you grow weary of them.”
He exhaled slowly. “Everyone expected me to be like him. You did, he did, every family member and friend did. How could I not become what was expected of me? All anyone ever said about me was, ‘He’s just like his father.’ What if I’m not like him at all? What if I am capable of loving one woman for the rest of my life?”
His mother turned to him, her face almost stern. “Fidelity is a choice, Teddy. As I said, marriage lasts a very long time. You don’t stay in love with your wife your whole life through. You fall in love and you fall out of love and you fall in love again. When you feel attracted to someone else, you remember it happens, and you choose not to act on your feelings. That is the honorable thing to do.”
Shocked at this piece of advice from his mother, he allowed it to sink in.
“You are honorable, Teddy. If you choose to be faithful, you will be. Of course you are capable of it! Womanizing is not some disease you inherited; it’s a behavior that was taught to you and condoned by your father. Habits can be changed by anyone with a will of his own.”
He nodded soberly. “Thank you, Mother.”
Chapter Five
A dinner party at the Reddingtons’ was the last place she wanted to be. Teddy had informed her that morning they were attending. Wynn had left to escort their mother back to the country, planning to return with the Westerfields, who were going to their home in the same vicinity in a week. Teddy had had a hollow-eyed look ever since the ball, but had been as po
lite and attentive as ever, never mentioning Reddington. She was still unsure how much he’d overheard, but she knew it had been enough for him to believe she had a relationship with her brother-in-law. Unfortunately, she could not disabuse him of the notion without telling him what had truly happened, and she was planning to take that secret to the grave.
She could not fathom why they’d been invited to a dinner party at her sister’s, much less why Teddy should accept it, but she could not see she had any choice in the matter, so she was dressed and ready by the time he returned from Parliament. The one fear that kept churning through her mind was that Teddy had decided to begin things anew with Maud. Though she knew it was unfair, she could not stand the thought of him being intimate with her sister.
He greeted her with his standard peck on the cheek. “You look as if you are ready.”
“I am.”
He held out his arm. “Let’s go, then, shall we? I have some news to share with you when we’re in the carriage.”
He helped her into the carriage, settling across from her. It was the first time they’d been in a carriage together since the incident at Hyde Park, and she found herself blushing at the memory of it. As if he knew precisely what she was thinking, the corners of his mouth turned up faintly.
“Did you say you had news?” she asked to distract him.
“Indeed. I have found a publisher for your poems.”
She heard a wild howling of wind at her ears. “Pardon me?”
“Your poems are to be published, in two volumes, as I’d suggested.”
“Teddy… no! In truth?” She covered her mouth with her hands, not trusting herself to say anything coherent. “Well, it cannot be! Are you sure?”
He grinned broadly. “Yes, quite sure.”
She threw herself across the carriage at him, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Thank you! Oh, thank you, Teddy! I cannot believe it. I just cannot believe it! They read them? Did they read them or are you paying them to publish it?”
He laughed. “The editor read them and he found them as delightful as I did. And no, I’m not paying for them to be published, but I do think the publisher is hoping my influence will help to sell the volumes.”
“When will it be ready?”
“I’m not sure, love, but you will be the first person I tell when I hear the news.”
Recovering her wits somewhat, she sat back down, smoothing her skirt over her knees. Joy gave her courage. “Teddy?”
“Yes, dear?”
“Are you involved with my sister again?”
His eyebrows snapped together. “Don’t be a goose. I told you I would not see her again and I will not.”
“Yes, but…” she swallowed. “That was before—”
He rescued her. “Ah, yes. Well, I intend to keep my word, regardless of your constant changes to the rules.”
His words were sharp, but when her eyes shot to his face, he winked. She released her breath in a rush.
“It’s not that—I mean, I don’t mind about other women. But perhaps not her? I know I have no right to ask it—”
“Phoebe, enough,” he cut her off curtly. He shook his head with his eyes closed as if he were very tired. “Enough.”
“Forgive me,” she said in a small voice.
“Phoebe—”
“Yes, my lord?”
Teddy looked as if he had a bone stuck in his throat. “Phoebe, I just want you to know…” He tugged at his cravat. “If you wish for the same sort of freedom you have offered me, I will grant it.”
She gaped at him, stunned. “My lord?”
“If you wanted to be with a man, I would not begrudge you it. I should not like it if you produced heirs that weren’t mine, but…”
“Never mind!” she exclaimed. “I have no interest, thank you very much.” Her face burned with shame. She understood—he was offering her Reddington. That explained why he’d accepted the dinner party invitation. Her chest constricted.
The carriage clattered to a stop in front of the all-too-familiar home. Just seeing the front door made her stomach drop to her shoes. How she hated it here. Teddy climbed out of the carriage and lifted her down. There was never a single courtesy he left off, always treating her like the finest lady with his solicitous manners.
Just as it had been at their ball, Teddy’s charm saved her from ill grace when they greeted Reddington and Maud. The dinner party was large—seven couples in all—so once they were admitted, she found it easy to hide amongst the other guests. After the meal, the party adjourned to the parlor, where Maud played the pianoforte and sang, showing off her accomplishments as if she were an unmarried lady seeking a husband.
“Phoebe, run upstairs to my room to find the rest of my sheet music, will you?”
Sighing, Phoebe stood, falling into the aggravating role of her sister’s maidservant again. The familiar smell of the rooms conjured oppressive memories, not just those of Reddington, but of living under Maud’s rule, too. She stopped outside their room, suddenly hating her sister for sending her on this errand. She could have sent a maid for it! She grit her teeth and gripped the doorknob, turning it and entering. The music was right where Maud said it would be, but as she turned to leave, she froze.
“I thought I saw you come up here,” Reddington said, looming in the doorway with a leer that made her mouth go dry.
“I came for Maud’s music. I have to go back now.”
He shut the door. “I’m sure there’s no rush. I’ve missed you.”
Missed her? No, he didn’t miss someone he never bothered to know. Missed the opportunity of pressing himself on her inappropriately was more accurate.
“Oh?” she said, anger giving her courage. “I have not missed you.”
She marched toward the door, which he stood blocking and had the wind knocked out of her when he snatched her up around the waist with both arms, lifting her feet off the floor.
“Let me go!” she shrieked, panic overriding caution at being overheard. “Let me go—I don’t ever want to see you again! Get your hands off me or I’ll scream!” She wrestled against his hold, as one of his hands pawed between her legs.
The door flew open and Teddy burst in. He threw himself at Reddington, his hand catching the man’s throat and carrying him backward till he hit the wall, still dragging her along with him.
“Let her go,” Teddy hissed. Gone was his easygoing demeanor, replaced by a single-pointed aggression. He appeared deadly.
Reddington’s arms only tightened at first, but then they fell open and he made a gurgling sound, as Teddy’s hold cut off his air intake.
Teddy pulled him back and then slammed him against the wall again. “What were you doing with her?” He looked over his shoulder at her as if trying to understand the situation. “What did you do?” Suspicion had crept in his tone, as if he’d already guessed her terrible secret.
Reddington made another gurgling sound.
“Teddy!” she cried, fearing he would murder Reddington.
He looked at her. “Did he force himself on you? Before?” He turned his attention back to Reddington, pressing his own face close to his. “Did you?”
“Teddy!” Reddington’s face had turned a shade of purple.
He relaxed his hold, but did not release him, allowing Reddington to draw a breath.
“Did he, Phoebe?” Teddy asked softly this time as Reddington coughed.
“N-not fully,” she whispered, tugging at her corset to allow her ribs to expand for her own breathing.
“He pressed himself on you, but did not succeed, is that what you mean?”
“Yes, my lord.”
In a flash of movement, Teddy spun Reddington around and kicked out his legs, so he dropped to his knees before her. He yanked his head back with a fistful of hair. “Apologize.”
Reddington made a horrific growling sound.
Teddy clapped his two hands together on either side of Reddington’s ears, causing the man to howl. “Apologize to he
r. Now.”
“I—I’m sorry,” Reddington grunted.
“Teddy, let’s go. Please. Let’s go?”
Teddy’s lip curled looking at Reddington, but he released him, and with an arm around her waist, swept her from the room, down the stairs and out the front door before anyone could stop them.
He lifted her into the carriage and sat beside her with his arm around her, pulling her close to his side. She trembled on the thin cushion, feeling as if she desperately needed to cry, but shock prevented any tears from spilling.
“Are you hurt?” Teddy asked, his eyes sweeping her face and upper body.
She shook her head.
“You’re all right?” he asked again, as if needing reassurance.
“Yes.”
He looked positively stormy but he continued to hold her close beside him, rubbing her arm in comfort.
“I’m sorry, Teddy.”
He sighed and shook his head. “You should have told me, Phoebe.”
She hid her face in her hands. “I could not.” The truth was out now—what would he think of her? He would realize she had not claimed to be his lover to save him; in fact, it had been to save herself. She’d taken undue advantage of his gratitude for something that had been manipulative and selfish. And it seemed all the worse now, because she realized he was right—she should have trusted him. He had defended her from Reddington—demanded he apologize to her on his knees. Despite her reluctance to believe it, Teddy had always been worthy of her trust, it had been she who was flawed—she who refused to believe he could care about her.
She drew courage enough to remove her hands and steal a glance. He sat staring fixedly at a spot on the carriage wall opposite him, his expression dark.
“I tricked you into marrying me, didn’t I? You thought I rescued you, but actually it was I who needed saving.”
He blew out his breath and stabbed his fingers through his hair. “Do you think I would not have rescued you if I’d known?” he demanded, sounding deeply wounded.
