by Julia Crane
Her brother stood in the doorway with a textbook clasped to his chest. His white-blonde hair was spiked dangerously high, the tips of the spikes dyed cerulean. His pale blue eyes twinkled merrily. “You shouldn’t be so involved in looking at the neighbor. You were, weren’t you?”
“No,” she said defensively, looking down at her Algebra book and picking her pencil up once more. “I’m doing homework.”
Aries crossed the room to peer over her shoulder. He was so tall and lanky he loomed over her—whether she was sitting down or standing beside him. His eyes landed on Gabriel, who was back to pushing the lawn mower up a small incline in the lawn.
At the movement of muscles in their neighbor’s back, Kelli nearly panted like a dog.
Aries laughed. “Uh huh. Whatever you say, little sis.”
Growling, Kelli poked his hip with her pencil.
He cackled, dancing away on his long bare feet.
“Quit calling me that. You’re only fifteen minutes older than me.” Propping one arm on the back of her chair, she narrowed her eyes and zeroed in on his dark blue sweatpants. “Did you steal my sweats?”
He smirked, still clutching his textbook to his chest. It was probably some stupid psychology crap. “No.”
Kelli rolled her eyes and went back to her school work. She was positive they were hers because the giant word Pink kinda gave it away. It wasn’t worth arguing with him.
“Breakfast’s almost ready,” her twin called, prancing out the door. He sounded like a horse the way he took the narrow staircase.
“Okay.”
She put her pencil down, twisting in her seat and craning her neck to stare down the staircase. He was gone.
Resting her chin in a hand, she gazed across the street. She’d watch just a little bit longer.
“Dad, could you help me with my algebra homework?” Kelli asked as she took her usual seat at the table.
The sun had appeared over the pool house and shone in through the open patio doors so that the crystal chandelier above their heads was illuminated. The warm glow glinted off the placid water of the backyard swimming pool.
Kelli took a deep breath and her mouth watered. The room smelled like garlic and tomato sauce.
“Of course I’ll help you with your homework, Sugar. What seems to be the problem?” Her dad glanced up from his Newsweek with a furrowed brow. He was a remarkably handsome man with short, dark brown curls that he had to smother with gel. If he didn’t, his hair would be a giant afro. Other than his dark, dark eyes, his chin was his most prominent feature.
He also tended to think Kelli had hung the moon. His estimation of her intelligence haunted her.
Kelli shrugged, slouching against the back of the chair. “I have no idea what I’m doing.”
“I’m sure that’s not the case, Sug,” he said with a chuckle, lifting his magazine once more. When she was a little girl, she used to think her dad’s face was a magazine.
She rested her head on the back of the chair, staring at the ceiling. The fall breeze rushed into the room, and goose bumps prickled on her pale skin.
The dining room was sunflower yellow with a white ceiling that peaked and dipped in what Kelli used to call “fireworks”. The room was dominated by a sideboard on one wall—the kind of monstrous wooden cabinet that could hold a buffet for ten. The only other furniture was the mahogany table and its six chairs.
“Kelli, would you set the table, Hon?” Her mom’s tall, thin form was flitting around the kitchen, her torso the only thing Kelli could see over the long counter that separated kitchen from dining room. She always looked at home in her red plaid apron, even if it seemed a little silly plastered over her suit skirt and satiny pink blouse.
“Sure, Mom.” Bouncing from her chair, Kelli headed for the plate cabinet.
Her parents were extremely young at 36; younger than most of her friends’ moms and dads. Kelli and Aries had been an accident, born when Jack and Nancy McNeil were only 19 years old and freshly married. Neither parent looked like their children—where Aries and Kelli were fair-skinned, fair-haired, and pale-eyed, their mom and dad were dark.
As Kelli was setting the last set of silverware, her brother burst through the swinging door with his usual panache.
“What’s for breakfast?” He took the seat across from Kelli’s, making a face at her.
“Jesus, is that my Fall Out Boy t-shirt?” Kelli screeched, smacking her hand on the table as she sat down. “Aries!”
“Kelliantra Leigh, you do not take the Lord’s name in vain in this household,” her mother snapped from behind the counter, pointing a serving spoon menacingly in her direction. Her mother had her dark hair pulled into a loose bun so that tendrils curled around her face in the heat from the oven. Her cheeks were rosy.
“Sorry, Mom.” Kelli glared at her brother.
“Geez, sis, I’m going to give it back,” Aries said, winking at her as their mother bustled over to put a glass of orange juice in front of him.
“You better.”
“Kelli, don’t yell in the house, Sug.” As always, her dad’s response was late. She sighed.
“Breakfast is served,” Mom said cheerfully, carrying the casserole dish around the counter with mitt-covered hands. She placed the dish on the two raggedy pot holders in the center of the table. “Sausage and potato casserole. Eat.”
As Aries and Dad dug in, Kelli watched her mother walk back into the kitchen. It was her ritual—she cleaned up while the rest of the family ate. Once her family was finished, then she would eat a small plate. It irritated Kelli, though she couldn’t pinpoint why.
“How’s school going, my boy?” Dad boomed before shoving a forkful of meat and egg into his mouth. Kelli giggled as she realized he had already spilled coffee down the front of his baby blue polo shirt.
Aries opened his mouth to answer but was interrupted by the chime of the doorbell.
“Will you go get that, hon?” Their mother’s voice drifted from behind the counter. She was probably head first in the dishwasher.
Kelli and Aries exchanged looks, then glanced at their dad. He held up his hands, one still holding his fork, and gave them a casserole smile. “Not me.”
“Me either!” Kelli said quickly, then ducked as Aries threw a chunk of his biscuit. It missed.
“Fine,” he said grumpily, shoving away from the table and slinking from the room.
Kelli had just shoved a huge forkful in her mouth when Aries reappeared through the swinging door.
“Look who stopped by,” he said, giving Kelli a behemoth grin.
Gabriel Halogeras appeared behind him.
Chapter 2
Kelli stared dumbly at the object of her affection, her mouth gaping open at the image he posed standing in her house.
He was so big. Next to her skinny brother, he looked like a bodybuilder. His hair was shiny black, still pulled into a tail that was carelessly flung over a shoulder and down his chest. He smelled like grass and sweat; Kelli thought that was probably the best combination ever.
Kelli was devastated; he’d put a shirt on. She sighed.
“Hello, Gabriel,” Mom said, walking around the counter. She dusted her hands on her apron and offered one to him. “How are you?”
“Great, Mrs. McNeil.” His voice sent shivers down Kelli’s spine. Deep and honeyed with the hint of some kind of accent. There was something different about hearing it outside of school.
Dad wiped his mouth and stood, reaching to shake Gabriel’s hand. “What brings you over, son?”
“The string on my weed eater has broken and we’re out. You wouldn’t happen to have extra?” Crooked grin. “I hate leaving a job unfinished.”
Kelli could have sworn his eyes flicked briefly to her, but it had to be her imagination.
“Sure, sure. Come with me,” her dad grunted in his man-to-man voice. He slapped an arm around Gabriel’s shoulders and led him out the open patio door.
Gabriel tossed a careless smile in Ke
lli’s direction before they disappeared.
For years, the nightmares had stopped.
She had found comfort in nice, normal dreams that she rarely remembered when she awoke. No cold sweats, no night terrors…just every day movies in her head. Usually about cute boys in music videos.
Not long after her junior year began, the nightmares returned—worse than before. It was an almost nightly occurrence, so much so that Kelli would do anything to put off going to sleep. She even taught herself how to crochet.
Unfortunately, there was only so long she could last before exhaustion would knock her into a dream state.
He stayed in the shadows as she walked down a dark alley. His face was concealed but his footsteps were not. They fell with every step she took, stalking her, following her…
This was one of the scenarios she was familiar with—she had experienced it over and over. Even though she knew she was dreaming, she couldn’t get out no matter how many times she yelled at her mind to open her eyes.
She clutched her jacket tighter, shooting terrified glances into the darkness. She knew he was there. There was nothing she could do but walk faster and listen to him pick up speed.
Suddenly he broke the circle of light below a streetlamp. Beautiful, so beautiful. Chestnut hair, matching eyes…the last thing she saw was the dagger.
Kelli awoke with a start, sitting up in bed so fast it made her head spin. She pressed a hand to her sweaty forehead and focused on trying to slow her breathing, kicking away the tangle of covers around her legs.
The moon was already setting in the dark sky outside her open window. It had gotten frosty since she had fallen asleep and the brisk chill had filled her room while she slept. Stumbling from bed in the inky room, she walked over to close the window.
Across the street, Gabriel’s house was dark.
Kelli stared unseeing into the night. She returned to her dream, to the man who haunted her sleep. No matter the terror she felt whenever she had a nightmare, one thing stood out.
She loved him.
Some of the dreams weren’t so much nightmares as they were snippets of interactions with an altogether different version of her attacker. Kelli almost wished he were real; maybe she wouldn’t daydream about a stupid teen guy that she couldn’t have.
She crossed back to her bed and flicked on the lamp on her nightstand; the gold light splashed across her room, chasing away the demons.
There wasn’t any use in trying to go back to sleep. After straightening her covers, she snuggled under her fluffy green comforter. Grabbing a teen mag from the nightstand, she opened it to wile away some time.
Gabriel-Mania meant Kelli often spent an hour and a half getting ready for school. Shower, shave, blow-dry, make-up—the whole shebang in some useless ploy to gain his attention.
“Today will be the day he speaks to you,” she told herself, standing in front of the full-length mirror in her closet. It was the same thing she had told herself for a month straight. Each day, she felt a little less sure of herself.
It wasn’t like she was hideous. She pinched the skin at her cheekbones, bringing the blood to the surface so she was rosy. Her eyes were the deep, vivid blue of arctic icebergs and her hair wispy, so blonde it was nearly white. Tall, thin, and pretty but invisible.
Today was no exception on the self-esteem front. It was a cool, drizzly morning and it echoed her mood. After Gabriel had come through her home and barely acknowledged her the night before, she was pretty certain he wasn’t interested.
Her closet was big, but the ceiling was low and angular. She walked around the corner into the nook where she kept her shoes, picking out her favorite pair of Eskimo boots to wear with her blue jean skirt and form-fitting salmon sweater.
Finally dressed and ready, she frowned at the mirror. She wanted Gabriel. She had been willing to give it everything she had to make him hers. “It’s not going to happen,” she sighed, putting her palm against the glass to cover her reflection.
“It’s unlike you to get so crazy over a guy.”
Kelli jumped, swiveling to throw her hairbrush at her brother. Aries was an expert at sneaking up on her.
The small pink brush bounced of his chest and skidded across the hardwood floor. He raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything.
Sighing, she shrugged. He tsk-tsked, dropping her navy Pink sweatpants in her dirty clothes basket before leaving.
A few minutes later, he met her at the bathroom sink. Silently, he took out his toothbrush. Dabbed a liberal line of toothpaste on it. Glancing at her, he shoved the brush in his mouth.
They stood next to each other, Kelli applying her eyeliner to the musical swishing of Aries’ toothbrush.
After he had glanced at her three or four more times, Kelli slammed the eye pencil to the counter and turned to glare at him.
“What do you want, freak?”
He took his time rinsing out his mouth. Drying his face and hands on a fluffy yellow towel, he stared at her thoughtfully. “You’re worried so much about what a guy thinks of you.”
Kelli threw her hands up. “And your point is?”
He carefully folded the towel and smoothed it out onto the counter. “Kel, if this guy doesn’t want you for the everyday you, he has to be blind. He would be just one more meaningless accessory to your perfect life.” Kelli tried to retort, but he lifted a sardonic eyebrow and exited the room.
He was waiting in her Mustang, already in the passenger seat as she walked out of the house with a Pop-Tart hanging from her mouth. She locked the front door and trudged to the car, her backpack dangling from a shoulder.
Aries was fiddling with the radio and cursing at the morning commercials. Kelli knew she needed to confide in her brother about the nightmares. It wasn’t like her to keep things from him anyway. She should have told him a long time ago.
She shifted into gear and backed out onto the street. “Can I tell you something and you not think I’m nuts?”
He pushed the power button, dropping the car into silence, and sat back laughing. “I already think you’re nuts.”
Kelli reached over, slapping his arm with the backs of her fingers. “I’m serious.”
He lost his smile, and nodded. “Sorry.”
She took a deep breath, biting her bottom lip. “I’ve been having these dreams. Bad dreams.”
“What kind of bad dreams?”
She made a split-second decision to turn into a gas station. Pulling into a spot near the door, she cut the engine.
Laughing, she laid her head in her hands. “It’s this man. He keeps showing up in my dreams.”
“Well that doesn’t sound so awful,” Aries quipped, waggling his eyebrows. “If some hot girl was consistently visiting my dreams I’d certainly not think they were nightmares.”
“But, he’s not good.” She paused, wrinkling her nose. “At least, I don’t think he’s good. But, I love him!” She sighed. “I don’t know why or how, but even when I’m awake I love him. I think about him all the time.”
Aries snickered. “You’re such a whack job. You love the guy even though he murders you?”
Kelli glared.
He sobered, his hands methodically rubbing his knees. “Okay. So what’s the bad?”
“He kills me.” She glanced at her brother from the corner of her eye then looked away.
She saw the change in his face—the mischievous twinkle disappeared and his pale blue eyes darkened. He reached for her hand, wrapping his long fingers around her own.
“He scares me.” Her voice was small.
“He terrifies you that much?” Aries said. He massaged her thumbs, his eyes dark. “He’s just a dream, Kel. Tell me why you’re so afraid.”
Kelli pulled from his grasp to hug herself. “He’s beautiful, Aries. I mean, the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. And I’m completely infatuated with him. Sometimes, he’s good to me.” She licked her lips, her eyes faraway, not seeing anything he could see. “He leads me somewhere solita
ry and then he kills me.”
“How?”
“A knife. An old knife. A dagger with a crooked blade.”
Aries turned away to gaze out the windshield. The mechanics who worked at the gas station garage were rolling up the bay doors and setting out their signs, ignoring the teenagers in the purple Mustang. “Have you read a story somewhere about this? Do you think it could be a subconscious thing?”
Kelli shook her head, even though he wasn’t looking at her. “I don’t think so. Aries,” she said, turning to lean against her door. “These dreams are full Technicolor, surround sound. Not your ordinary nightly journey.”
“When did this start?”
She smiled wryly. “When we were twelve. While you were gone.”
The summer before they turned thirteen, Aries went with Grandpa McNeil on an archaeological dig in Mexico. He was gone for three months. It was two weeks in to the split when the dreams started.
It only took a month before she broke down and told her parents. They chose to pay three hundred dollars a session for several months of visits to a therapist. All the Kook did was analyze the hormonal imbalances and ramblings of a teen going through puberty. And analyze badly. She came up with some outlandish ideas; psycho babble about inner fantasies of a male persona to cover the emptiness of Aries being gone. Always mature for her age, Kelli spent every Tuesday and Thursday laughing at her shrink — who was nuttier than she was.
Kelli buckled her seat belt and put the car in gear, signaling as she turned out of the station. They rode the rest of the way to the community college in silence.
During their fifth grade year, Aries had been…odd. All the teachers noticed it—awkward and smart. Some significant testing showed that he was “gifted” or abnormally intelligent, anyway. He had skipped ahead two grades and was now in his second year of college with the intention of working towards his psychology degree.
Kelli had been kept back a grade because of a learning disability.
She wasn’t jealous. Maybe a little.
Aries kissed her on the cheek, popping open his door. “Try not to think too much about it. We’ll talk later.”
