Chapter Nine
Bay marched me through the estate, taking a new route, which only served to compound my disorientation. When we passed the main entry foyer, my heart kicked into high gear, thrumming like the wings of a bumblebee. He guided me into the opulent library full of paneled wood and floor to ceiling books.
Sitting behind the massive desk piled with books, my nemesis, Xavier, waited for me. He lifted his piercing gaze as we entered and latched onto me. My tongue thickened, whatever scathing words I had prepared died in my throat as the full force of his attention focused on me.
“You may go, Bay,” Xavier said.
“Yes, Master Xavier,” Bay replied with the deepest respect. My guard backed out of the library, shutting the large doors and sealing me inside.
I’d never been so overwhelmed by someone’s presence and I’d grown up around the rich and powerful. This man had a quality to him which left me unhinged and struggling to find my footing. His rich scent filled the room, another overwhelming sensation against which I had no defense.
“Sit.” He gestured to the pair of wing backed chairs sitting off to the side.
My feet refused to move.
“Have you forgotten your lesson so soon? When I give a command, you obey. You follow my rules. Eyes. Down.” His lips pressed into a thin line and his gaze darkened.
The power behind his command washed over me. The desire to obey claimed me and my gaze began to slip. I realized what was happening in time and blinked. I refused to give in to his power, even knowing the price I would have to pay.
“You choose whether to obey.” He stood and pulled out the slim rod from his breast pocket. “Are you choosing to be punished? Is this your way of telling me you enjoyed what happened in the aviary as much I did?”
He gripped the edge of the desk when I didn’t immediately respond. My mind reeled with his words, because I didn’t have an answer.
Urgency rimmed the corners of his eyes, an odd reaction and something I couldn’t quite put my finger on. It seemed as if he hoped for something, but whatever there had been, lust and desire buried the fleeting emotion. He blinked and the moment was lost to me.
“Raven,” his voice came out a strained whisper, “do you want to be punished?”
Why did he just use my name?
Yes, whispered a voice in my head.
My head twitched. Was he mad? Was I?
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” I jutted my chin out and rolled my shoulders back.
His eyes narrowed and he flicked the slim rod in his palm.
I curled my fingers and let my nails bite into the tender flesh of my palms. I needed pain to help me focus.
“Answer my question,” he demanded.
“That’s what you want, isn’t it,” I said with challenge. “You make stupid rules, so you can punish me for breaking them.” Heat rose to my cheeks. “It justifies your abuse.” I took a step toward him. My anger emboldened me, or made me incredibly stupid. I wasn’t sure which, but he hadn’t moved.
He gripped the edge of the desk, turning his knuckles white.
“You think you can whip me, beat me, and claim I wanted it because I didn’t follow your stupid rules? Because I dared to look you in the eye?”
His jaw clenched.
I was on a roll. I took another step. “I’m not giving you permission because I choose to ignore your silly rules.” I stepped within arm’s reach and he had yet to move a muscle. I was practically screaming. “Don’t think for a minute I want any of this.”
His power intoxicated me. His control excited me. His dominance was something I craved. The man who abducted and claimed me as his slave made my body tremble. I couldn’t face what that meant. Was I crazy?
Staring into the smoldering darkness of his gaze, I had pressed too far, but I was tired of being compliant. I’d done nothing to fight this man, and I wasn’t going to continue being a victim. I wasn’t going to make this easy on him. If he wanted me, he would have to take me. If he did that—if I forced him to act—then I wouldn’t be making a choice to give in to whatever this was inside of me.
His arm shot out, wrapped around my waist and yanked me against the hard length of his body. His free hand captured my chin and, faster than I could blink, he kissed me. His fingers pinched my jaw, pressing against the soft tissues under my chin. The force of his attack crashed against my carefully shored defenses, plundering inside within seconds. His tongue forced my lips open, breaching my body.
He tasted of a rich, sultry spice, so sinfully delicious, I didn’t resist him. I couldn’t. Instead, I opened to him, startled by the speed of his attack and my willing surrender. Why did he have to taste so good? He growled as his tongue ruthlessly sought the recesses of my mouth, mindless with his need.
I answered with a whimper, and I gripped his arm, not to push him away, but to clutch at him with my need for more. I didn’t understand what was happening.
His fingers trailed from my chin down the side of my throat tracing a path of fire that sent shivers to my spine. He wrapped a hand around the back of my neck, twining fingers in my hair. I didn’t try to pull away as he controlled me with his grip. I breathed out, parting my lips, unintentionally inviting him in. I needed to fight, but found myself heady with surrender. I wanted this kiss, even though I knew it was wrong.
He took me with possession and bit at my lower lip. A moan escaped me as he stole my will. He had me unglued with his passion, and drunk with the control he exorcised over me. I couldn’t let him have me, but I wanted him more than I needed to hate him.
What the hell was I doing?
I freed a trapped hand and scratched at his cheek, breaking a nail in the process. When he jerked back, breathing hard, I kicked with my knee, but he anticipated my move and blocked my attack.
His lips glistened with the stolen moisture from my mouth. He glared and pressed his cheek to his shoulder, glancing at his collar to see if there was blood.
There was none. I failed to cause more than a scratch.
He tugged my hips against his groin and gripped my ass. The long length of his erection pressed between us. He lifted my skirt and dragged his fingers along my inner thigh, tracing a relentless path along my skin as I shivered beneath his touch. Heat built between my legs and I pressed my thighs as a pulse of desire flared. Fire exploded within me. He hissed with a sharp inhale and my eyes popped open. The deep blue of his eyes held mine in their grip as he took a long pull of breath.
Then he kissed me hard again. His passion drowned me, and while I knew I should fight, I could barely hold on. The more I resisted, the more intense his kiss became. The tighter he held me, the wetter I became.
“God, I can smell you.” The husky need in his voice sent my head spinning. He kissed along my jaw, my neck, and sent shivers down my spine as he nibbled on my ear. “I thought…” His breaths came in pants. “In the aviary…I sensed…” His words pulsed between bites of his kisses. “I never imagined I might be right. Are you the one?” He held me tight against him, cupping my head against his shoulder, murmuring into my ear.
I closed my eyes against the embarrassment of his discovery, over the horror of what he intimated. I tried to push him away, but my words were swallowed under the assault of his kisses. His breathing deepened, turned ragged, and his kiss became less controlled, more frantic.
Had I almost let that happen? Fire moved from my core to heat my cheeks, and I closed my eyes. I couldn’t face him. I couldn’t bear the truth of what he discovered.
He yanked his hand away as if stung and pressed his erection against my hip. Panting he breathed into my ear, biting at my earlobe. “This is what you do to me. You drive me mad with need.”
His fingers wrapped around my hair and he pulled my head back. He forced me to look at him, but I averted my eyes, cast them down and away, according to his silly rule.
His gaze flicked from my lips to my eyes and back again. “I will not take you against your will.” He bent
forward and pressed his lips against mine. “You will come to me.”
My breath stuttered at the gentleness of his next kiss. As his lips glided over mine, all his passion and fury from before dissipated. My body relaxed in surrender, but in the absence of his fire, my passion fizzled.
He released me from the kiss, but held me in his grip. His lips brushed my cheeks and fluttered over my lids, then settled at my ear.
“This is my promise to you, my slave. You will obey, and if you don’t, I won’t hesitate to punish you. You do not want to force this issue. I’m barely hanging onto my control now as it is.” He gripped my hair and pulled on the strands.
I yelped at the sharp tug.
“I want to be clear. You are here for one, and only one purpose, and you will fulfill your role. Do not challenge me. There are things I need, things that must happen…” The tone of his voice deepened, turning dark and ominous. “I’m not against seeking out more.” He released my hair and placed both hands around my waist.
I pressed my hands on his chest putting space between us, but not actively pushing him away. Beneath my palms, his heart beat a slow steady rhythm, whereas my pulse raced. I stared at his chest, watching the slow, rhythmic rise and fall of his ribcage. Moments before, he had been barely restrained with passion and now he was back in full control of himself. Why couldn’t I do that?
“Look at me, Raven.”
I didn’t want to look at him. Why did he want me to? Wasn’t I supposed to avert my eyes? If he was going to make up rules, then he needed to be consistent. I obediently raised my gaze to meet the steel blue of his eyes.
“I would rather have you willingly than not. But you must understand, I won’t hesitate to use you to meet my goals. I’m giving you a warning. Work with me, or I will take you.”
“You said you wouldn’t rape me.”
He brushed the hair from my face and his eyes softened. “I don’t have to rape you, Raven. You’ll come to me on your own.” And there it was, my shame laid out before me and the inevitability of his victory made clear. Heat suffused my entire face. I didn’t care if he saw the flush in my cheeks. He knew he’d aroused me. I only hoped he didn’t know how close he’d brought me to an orgasm.
His ferocity did things to me. The danger inflamed me, and he claimed more than I could admit. I hated him for that, but I despised his gentleness more.
He ran his thumb along my lower lip. “I release you from the first rule, slave, but don’t abuse my generosity.” He glared at me with cold authority.
To my amazement, my nipples hardened at his command. I think he noticed, because his eyes flicked downward, although he made no mention of it. Instead, he led me to the wingback chairs. I’d suffered another defeat and breathed out my frustration in one deep sigh.
“What do you want from me?” How was I to work with him? More was at stake here than I realized.
“Isn’t it obvious?” He settled me into a chair, and then made a show of adjusting his erection.
I didn’t think that was funny.
He searched my face for a reaction, when I failed to give him what he wanted, he seated himself and his tone turned serious again. “I need you to be my obedient slave, broken beneath my will.”
I was free falling without a parachute here. What just happened? One moment he was brutalizing me with a kiss, and now he’s telling me this? Like I can make this choice? How did we get from there to here, sitting in two chairs having a discussion about breaking me? Stunned disbelief shuttled me towards mutism. I stared at him slack jawed.
He drummed a beat on the armrest of his chair as he regarded me. Slowly, his eyes narrowed. I was undone under the scrutiny of his gaze.
“Is this not what you want?” He paused and flicked lint off the fabric of the arm rest. “To remove one of my silly rules?” He waited for my response, one I did not give. He examined his cuticles and then looked up at me over his lashes. “Although, I think you like my rules. You crave the control I wield, and with time, I think you’ll realize the peace it brings you to yield is exactly what you need.”
Selective mutism had me firmly in its grasp. I had nothing. In fact, I couldn’t breathe. Holy hell, what was wrong with me?
A soft knock broke through the silence.
“Come,” Xavier barked, making me jump at the authoritative tone.
Chad entered the library. He approached Xavier. “As ordered, Master Xavier, keyed to all the public areas requested.” Chad handed over a slim chain with a dolphin pendant.
“Thank you.” Xavier reached for the chain.
I drew up my legs and curled into a ball. Chad looked at me, worry furrowing his brow, but he didn’t make a move to interfere. My attention shifted between Chad and Xavier. When I met the power of Xavier’s stare, I couldn’t match it and dropped my gaze to the floor. I didn’t have it in me to fight him.
Chad turned on his heel and exited the library, leaving Xavier and I to our silence. I stared at the books lining the walls, unwilling to lock my gaze with his, especially now that I had his permission.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him put his hands in his lap. I made the mistake of looking up, caught his eyes, and then didn’t know what to do. He leaned forward, pressing his hands to his knees. He captivated me.
“Two choices face you.” He heaved a deep sigh.
I quirked up a single brow. My voice had yet to return.
“First is to refuse me. I commit all the horrible things you expect. I force you to scrape and bow, to kneel before me and service my every sexual whim.” His voice broke and his shoulders tensed. “I get off on control, so understand that I would enjoy that choice.”
I tensed. This was exactly what I thought my fate would be. What other option would he present to me?
“Second choice, and no doubt the most difficult. You obey my rules, commit yourself to learning your place. Put all thoughts of escape firmly out of your mind. As a reward, I give you limited freedom to move about the estate. You’ll be free to do the things you desire when your services are not required.”
“How is that any different from the first choice?” My voice seemed to have found itself.
His lips pressed together. “Option one, I break you. Option two, you make the choice. One involves all the horrible things your mind has conjured up and many other things you have yet to imagine, the other does not.”
“Why would I choose to obey you?” I didn’t want to ask what expectations he referred to.
“Because, I’m trying to make this as easy on you as possible. You can’t deny your response to the authority I wield. You can find pleasure in obeying me.” His heavy breathing saturated the room. “But I don’t want a misunderstanding between us. My needs come before yours. My authority is absolute. I’m giving you a chance to choose how you embrace your fate.”
“I need to be free.” I curled away from him with fear. I didn’t see any choice.
“You only think you do, but I know the truth. You’re not what I expected and I’m delighted by this turn of events.”
“What does that even mean?”
“Only that you’ll train as my slave, by force or by choice. The path you take is yours. Considering what just happened, what would have happened if I hadn’t stopped? I would think you’d be open to the idea.” He gestured toward the desk, to the scene of the crime so to speak. “You don’t find me repulsive, and you are realizing a potent truth. You want what’s happening between us.”
My shame bloomed anew. A knife cut straight to my heart at the betrayal of my body and the wicked desires stirring to life within me. He’d seen right through me.
He sprung from his chair. The swiftness of his movement pulled a yelp from me. I thought he was coming at me, but he stalked off to the far side of the library. He paced for several long minutes, rubbing his face, running his fingers through his close-cropped hair.
I followed his every move, entranced with his feral power. Watching him pace was like observing a cag
ed beast prowl. It was irrational, and probably dangerous, but I wanted to poke him to see which way he would jump. Would he snap and bite? Destroy me? Or would he claim me as my traitorous body desired?
His lean, muscular frame moved with purpose. I wanted to know more about him, peel back the layers to see what made him tick. Nothing but questions swirled in my head. Who was this man who took me from my home? Who claimed me as some debt paid? What debt could my father possibly owe this man? I wanted to dig for answers, make Xavier squirm and come unglued like he had done to me. But I held no power here. Not when I fantasized about what it would be like to be draped over his knee.
I didn’t want the first option. I didn’t want to be brutalized, but neither did I want the second option Xavier offered. I didn’t understand how that was any different from the first, except I would choose to accept my fate. Xavier didn’t care which option I chose, and I believed what he said. He would enjoy breaking me. I didn’t doubt what he said, because he enjoyed dispensing pain. For him, the battle for supremacy over my will, would be intoxicating. I wasn’t ready to face a battle I would surely lose. I wanted freedom, if only because I needed revenge. Z would pay for my enslavement. Whatever was happening to my mind and body didn’t matter. I could endure what I must. But really? Who was I kidding? I didn’t trust myself around Xavier.
Taking the second choice didn’t mean I lost this battle. It would be a concession made while reestablishing dominance over my own life. The destruction of Z took prominence in my mind and I couldn’t do that while fighting Xavier. Z enslaved my mother and he wished that upon his daughter. For that, I would make him pay.
Xavier remained a mystery to me and I didn’t understand the feelings coiling in my gut. I feared him, desired him, craved his touch, but I no longer hated him. I could work with that. I couldn’t keep my thoughts straight around him, but maybe I didn’t need to? As long as I carried hatred for Z in my heart, I had a purpose which drove me forward. With that goal in mind, I would find escape. To do that, I needed what limited freedom Xavier promised, even if that freedom came at a cost. To destroy Z, I was willing to pay whatever Xavier demanded.
She’s Mine: A Captive Romance Page 7
