“Good.” Andre ushered me over to the table with a chuckle. "I would hate to have left overs."
Normally, the fact that he liked a woman who could eat and actually encouraged it would have been a big plus in his column, but my mind was elsewhere. I only ate because I had nothing else to do, and it would keep him from making me talk too much to him. I know, right? Me not wanting to talk? It's a miracle. Or a curse. My stomach was swirling with worry, so it sure felt like it.
"So, are you working on any new cases yet?" Andre asked once we had our plates and were sitting at a small table off to the side of the dance floor. Several people came by to tell him what a great party he was throwing before I could get a word out.
"No, not right now." I shook my head and then shoved a meat ball in my mouth. I gave myself ample time to chew it and then chewed it even more for good measure before swallowing it down with more alcohol. At this point, my head was getting a bit fuzzy. I should probably slow down and switch to water. Our knees bumped against each other every so often from the cramped space which I think he did on purpose. I tried to keep myself turned away as much as possible.
"Probably taking a break to recharge your powers, huh?" Andre grinned at me, only picking at the food on his plate. I had a feeling that this party was just a ruse to get me to spend time with him since I'd turned down his offer for a date several times already.
I let out a long sigh. "Yeah, something like that."
He started to ask me something else, but something caught my eye. My gaze drew to the side where Uriel stood at the stern of the boat. His eyes were locked on me, and it was not a pleasant expression on his face. It made the food in my stomach turn sour.
"Jane?" Andre placed a hand on mine. "Are you alright?"
I jerked my eyes away from the angel. "Uh, no. Actually, I think I just feel a bit sea sick. I'm going to go to the bathroom." I stood from the table and moved toward the stairs leading into the lower level.
Once I got below deck, I searched for Uriel in the hope that he had taken the hint and had followed me down below. There weren't as many people down here as upstairs. Most of them wanted to take advantage of the nice day and sea breeze. Those who were down here weren't paying me any mind as they cuddled in corners or laughed as they tried to find an empty room to get it on in.
I found Uriel at the end of the long hallway, waiting impatiently for me to appear next to him.
"Where are they?" I asked right off the bat, not letting him steer the conversation.
"You have caused quite a stir. I do not think you are in a position to be demanding anything." Uriel's gaze bored into me, his voice crisp and to the point.
"I don't care what position you think I'm in. Gabriel left all of a sudden this morning, and I haven't seen the others in days. What's going on?" I wished he was corporeal so I could shove my finger into his chest to emphasis my point, but instead, I settled for banging my hand against the wall next to us. A couple of people glanced my way, but I ignored them. I wasn't in the mood to care about looking crazy today.
"They are doing what they should be doing. Their jobs." Uriel crossed his arms and stared me down. Well, if he thought I was just going to roll over and give in, then he had another thing coming. I was the champion of staring contests.
"That's never stopped them from coming before," I countered. "They've always come when I needed them. I need them now."
"It doesn't work that way anymore," Uriel snapped as he lost his patience. "They are no longer yours to command. You would do well to forget them and get on with your puny life while you still have one."
"Are you threatening me?" I stepped closer, angling my head back to see him clearly. It was hard to be intimidating when the guy had a good foot on you.
"Even if I was, there would be nothing you could do, human."
"Oh, yeah," I argued, nodding like a weirdo. "Oh, yeah." Okay, so I wasn't that great at quick comebacks. I blamed it on the knot of tension in my stomach. "Why don't you pull that stick out of your ass..." I fumbled with the pin on my shirt, hoping he didn't see me as I pricked my finger. "...and whack yourself over the head with it?"
The moment Uriel opened his mouth to respond, I moved and shoved my finger toward his mouth, putting the blood still bubbling up from my finger into his system. I had no reason not to think this would work. There was no precedence that said the angel had to want to be corporeal for my blood to work. Still, I knew I was going to be in for a fight once he realized what I had done.
Pulling my finger back just as fast as I had put it into his mouth, I wiped it on the underside of my dress. I'd felt the warm wet of his tongue before removing my finger and knew that the angel in front of me was very much now touchable. Glancing around, I checked to see if anyone had noticed Uriel appearing out of nowhere.
Nope. Too busy sucking face.
"What did you do to me, human?" Uriel practically shouted. I jumped up and covered his mouth with my hand.
"Would you be quiet?"
Uriel shook me off and stared down at his form, a curious but pissed-off expression on his face. "What have you done to me? I'm... human."
"No, you're not.” I rolled my eyes. “You're still you just..." I waved a hand at him. "Visible and very much touchable." I poked him in the side, and a wicked sort of glee came from making him jump at my touch. "So, now, we're on the same level."
"I did not give you permission to make me corporeal." Uriel glowered down at me. "You have tainted me with your human blood."
"Oh, get over it." I waved him off and walked away, tired of his bitching. "Tell me where the guys are, and I'll tell you how to go back to the way you were."
Of course, I didn't mention the fact that he would turn back on his own eventually. There was no need to show all my cards. This was a power play, after all.
I hurried up the steps with Uriel close behind me, still bitching about me violating him. Geez, you'd think I'd raped him or something. I'd never had someone be so ungrateful in my life. I didn't head to Andre's table, happy to see him in a conversation with someone else, but instead headed for the buffet table.
"And another thing, angels are not supposed to indulge in human temptations,” Uriel’s bitch fest continued. “It is against our natures and the rules. You are lucky you haven't been smited for your insolence."
Sighing, I picked up a miniature cheese cake and shoved it into his still-griping mouth. His eyes widened and he was forced to chew unless he wanted to choke. I watched with growing interest as his expression changed from horrified to delighted. His eyes searched the table for the thing I had put in his mouth, and I quickly moved out of his way.
"See, not everything is as horrible as you think it is." I smugly watched him pick up more things to try on the table. He almost loved food more than me.
"Where are they?" I tried again while his mouth was full of deviled egg.
"Here, Jane."
Gabriel appeared on the other side of the buffet table a sad expression on his face. Michael and Lucifer appeared next each of them, taking up a place a few feet away from me and not moving to get closer.
"Where did you go?" I asked them, not caring that anyone could be watching me. "And why do you look like someone died?"
"Our apologies, love.” Lucifer grimaced. “Several things have happened as of late, and we couldn't get away."
"But you're back now, right?" I shot a look at them all, eager for them to assuage my fears and tell me what I wanted to hear.
"For the moment." Michael nodded. "We have to get back." His eyes moved to Uriel. "We've only come to collect this one and explain."
"Explain what?" I stepped toward them, but they took a step away from me. Frowning, I shook my head. "What's happening? Why won't you let me touch you?"
"Oh, Jane. We want to but we can't." Gabriel's eyes were full of pain and sorrow, so much so that I felt it pang in my heart and tears came to my eyes.
"Why not?" My voice wavered as they exchanged a look. "What yo
u can't even tell me that? I thought you were here to explain?"
"Jane?" Andre took my arm, trying to turn me to him. "What's going on? Why are you yelling at this man?" His eyes widened as he took in Uriel's appearance. "I don't believe I know you."
Uriel scanned over Andre and then sniffed before turning back to the table dismissing him.
"I'm fine," I told Andre, taking a moment to talk to him. "I just need a moment, okay? I'll come find you later."
Andre's brows furrowed, but he seemed to see how distressed I was and nodded. He left me to go back to his table, but his eyes never left me.
"You should give him a chance, love," Lucifer said in a small voice that made me mad.
"No. I won't give him a chance." I waved my arms in the air as aggravation surged through me. "I have you. I don't need him. Now, just stop all this nonsense and tell me what is going on."
Michael took a step toward me, closer but still not within touching distance. "I wish we could, Jane, but it's better this way. Just trust that we are going to do whatever it takes to keep you safe."
"Keep me safe by being here," I quipped and moved toward him, my hand out reached. They moved back as if I had some kind of disease. They really knew how to hurt a girl.
"I can't do this." Gabriel ran a hand through his hair and met my gaze. "I'm sorry." Then he was gone.
"This is for your own good, pet." Lucifer gave me a half smile, one hand in his pocket. "Just know we will be thinking of you every step of the way."
I gaped at the empty space the Devil once stood and then to the lone angel still there. "Will you come back?" I didn't try to hide the stutter in my voice, my voice breaking with emotion.
Michael's expression softened. "I won't lie to you. I do not know. We will try everything in our power to come back to you."
"Pinkie promise?" I held my hand out to him which caused him to smile.
Michael's head tilted to the side, and that sad smile on his face killed me. He didn't promise or loop his pinkie with mine. Instead, he grabbed Uriel who tried to grab as many mini cheese cakes as possible with him before they too disappeared.
Wet tracks fell down my face and I vaguely heard Andre talking to me. Asking me something or another but I just didn't care. They were gone. My angels were gone.
Chapter 22
TAPING UP THE LAST box, I sighed. We’d been packing for hours and I was getting tired of it. Who knew I could accumulate so much stuff over such a small period of time?
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Mandy sat down another box next to the one I’d just boxed up. “You don’t have to close up shop just because your...”
“My primary source of power is gone?” I let out a bitter laugh. “I can’t exactly be a psychic detective if I have no psychic powers.”
“You were still a good detective.” She placed her hand on my shoulder. “You don’t need them for that.”
“Yes, I do,” I murmured.
It wasn’t just that I needed their powers. It was more than that. Everything around me at the office reminded me of them. The places we had laughed. Kissed. Made love. Yes, I loved all three of them, and I regret every day that I never told them all just how much.
And now, I may never get to.
Three months. It had been three months since the angels left to save me. Three months since my whole life got turned upside down.
I knew why they did it. I wasn’t an idiot, but it didn’t make it any easier to swallow. The only way to keep me safe was to leave.
It must have worked because I hadn’t seen hide nor hair of Uriel or any other angel since then. Not that I was craving to see that psychopath but the others... well, you don't tell a girl you love them than disappear into thin air without a word. It's just plain rude.
The first few days, I didn't think anything of it. I just went about my days wondering when they were going to make a reappearance. Then when it was clear they weren't coming back any time soon, I got pissed off.
I yelled and screamed at them, at God, at everything. I broke things and ended up in the ER to get stitches and still they didn't come.
Then came the sadness. The grief. I cried and cried until I couldn't breathe, and my chest hurt. Mandy took time off work to be with me. She told me she feared I'd do something crazy, like try to get to Heaven the old-fashioned way.
I laughed at her. If I was going anywhere, it would be to Hell, but at least Lucifer would be there to greet me.
I would love to say I had too much pride to kill myself to get to them, but it wasn't pride. I'd never had much pride to begin with. Hard to when your entire life had been one big joke after another. I was always the butt of somebody's one-liners. No, what stopped me was fear.
A damn coward was what I was. I couldn't take the pills that I had in the bathroom to help me sleep. I couldn't cut my wrists or drink myself to death because I feared that God would punish me for even thinking I had a chance of happiness with them. So, if I did happen to die, he wouldn't even let me see them. I liked to imagine there was a sort of purgatory for people like me. People that don't belong in either place. At least, that was what some religions stated. I wasn't sure what I believed. I just knew I wanted to see them, to get some kind of explanation.
Which was the hardest part. Not knowing. I had no idea where they went or when they were coming back if at all. I didn't know if they ended up in trouble for what happened with Uriel and the others. Or if they just forgot about me.
I sure as hell would have liked to forget about them.
Or at least, I kept telling myself that.
"Jane?"
I jerked my head up, my mind still muddled with thoughts. "What?"
"Did you hear a word I said?" Mandy asked, her hands on her hips, her lips pursed in a frown.
"No, I didn't." I offered her an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, my head's all..." I wiggled a hand in the air by my head. "What did you say?"
"I asked, if you were going to return Andre's call?" She arched a brow at me. "He's not going to wait forever, you know. And you could do worse than a billionaire who wants nothing but to buy you things."
Even though I had solved Andre's case of the missing golden trophy, he still called me. The day after the guys disappeared, he asked me out on an official date. I'd done the normal thing and beat around the bush about why I couldn't go. Then when the guys never reappeared, I told him I was getting over a break up. Andre's response to that was flowers. Lots of flowers and chocolates. He got points for trying at least, but still, I couldn't bring myself to tell him yes.
"Pfft." I picked up my stapler and sat it back down in the open box on the desk. "He'd be a rebound if anything. I couldn't do that to him."
"Rebound or not, you should go out with him." Mandy bumped my shoulder with her own. "Get out of the house, out of this office. Just live. Do something out of the ordinary and then maybe things will get easier."
"I know.” I nodded. “And I'm trying. Why do you think I'm quitting." I stacked another box onto the table and then picked them all up and moved toward the door. "I just want this part of my life to be over."
Mandy followed me out to my car, and we put the boxes in the back seat. "What are you going to do then? Go back to school? You already have a bachelor's and an associate’s degree. Maybe you should try and do something with them?"
"Yeah, in religious studies and business. What am I going to do, open a church?" I scoffed and turned my keys over and over in my hand. I spun the key ring around my finger and then grasped them tight, so tight they bit into my hand. I welcomed the pain though, it helped keep me grounded.
Shrugging, Mandy crossed her arms over her chest. "I don't know, but you gotta do something. You can't just wallow at your parent's house. I'm sure they're getting tired of you already."
"They're my parents,” I scoffed. “They love me and support me."
"But they're mostly retired and want alone time without adult children mooching off of them."
"I am no
t mooching. I have my own money, thank you very much. I just..." I trialed off and turned my head away. "I don't want to be alone."
"Then move in with me." Mandy wrapped her arms around me to pull me into a hug. "My lease is almost up, we should just get an apartment together. Then you won't be alone, and I won't have to cook."
I laughed, but I didn't really feel it. "You mean, I'll order take out because if I am the one doing the cooking, then we're both going to be dead. That stray cat that hovers around your fire escape will sneak in and eat our corpses off the floor. All they'll find of us will be our bones picked clean and a fat cat."
Mandy wrinkled her nose. "Ew. Imagery."
I shook my head. "I'm alright. Thanks though." I took a deep breath and sighed before glancing back at the Gotcha! Sign still painted on the window. "Nah, I'll figure it out. Eventually."
"Alright, well. I have to get back to the precinct. Will you be okay?" She leaned back and looked at my face as if she was searching for any sign that I was going to break.
Pushing her away, I smiled. "Yeah, I'll be fine. Go tell O'Connor I have an aunt that would love to be his sugar mama. Just let me know. I'll get him her number."
Mandy laughed and shook her head before heading back to her car.
I watched her drive away until she was gone. Then I turned back to the office. Now that I was alone, I had to face saying goodbye to this place I'd once loved and the guys. It was a good of place as any to get it over and done with.
Mandy was right. I couldn't hold onto them forever. They were angels. I was human. I only had one life to live, and if I used it waiting for them to come back, then it would be like I never lived at all.
The door chimed as I entered the office. The interior empty and cold without my sparse furnishings to fill it. The desk was the only thing that sat in the middle of the office, and that had come with the place. It didn't seem right to take it even if I'd spent many hours christening it with the guys. I smiled fondly at it and then frowned.
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