But could I forgive him?
When I arrived home, it was to an unlocked door, and that could only mean my mom was home. Sure enough, when I walked into the kitchen she was seated at our little dining table with a cup of tea in front of her. She looked up at me with a smile as I walked into the room.
“Honey, you’re home,” she said with a chuckle.
I smiled, though it had an edge of sadness, because I knew she used to say that to my dad whenever he came home. After his death, she said it to me. I didn’t begrudge her such small comforts, though a part of me did feel uncomfortable.
Of course, she noticed, Mom noticed everything!
“Don’t mind this old woman.”
It was my time to chuckle. I set my bag down and moved to sit down opposite her.
“Come on, Mom. You’re not that old. I am surprised to find you at home, though. What happened to the diner?”
“Your Aunt Hayley is staying around for a few more days. She told me to stay home while she and the other workers take care of the diner.” She scoffed as she picked up her cup for a sip of her tea. “Honestly, she keeps babying me when she’s the little sister in the family.”
I smiled at her disgruntled tone. “She’s worried for you, of course she wants to coddle you.”
“You better not get any ideas into your head,” she warned me. “I can take care of myself just fine.”
I sighed but didn’t say anything. As much as she said she was okay, I knew she was still stricken with grief, even months later. Hell, so was I. I moved back home after the funeral because I was worried about her staying alone. My aunt couldn’t come and live with her when she had her own family waiting for her.
“I would never, Mom.” I got up to boil some more water for my cup of tea. “But there’s nothing wrong with relaxing now and then.”
There was an awkward silence as I waited for the water to boil. Then I made my tea and took it back to the table. We both took it black, and I offered her more before I sat down.
“So,” she started.
I barely held back a groan.
“What is it, Mom?”
She smiled knowingly. “I saw how well you got along with Cecilia’s granddaughter when they came to the diner over the weekend.”
I winced, already guessing where this discussion was going. “She’s in my class, Mom, I’m supposed to get along with her.”
“She calls you by your first name, though,” she pointed out. “Do all your kids do that?”
I pursed my lips, knowing the truth was that, no, they didn’t all call me that. It was Ross’ fault to begin with, since he called me by my name and she simply copied him. The one time I tried to get her to refer to me as all the other students did, she nearly cried, and I felt bad.
“I know what you want to talk about, Mom, and it’s not just Sophia. The two of you were busy gossiping, weren’t you? Do I even need to guess what?”
Mom shrugged, unashamed. “We were talking about you and Ross, of course.”
I sighed, taking a sip of my tea. I hadn't realized just how stressed I was, until I had that one sip and my shoulders relaxed as I slumped back into my seat.
“How have the two of you been? I know he brings Sophia to school and picks her up every day. I’m sure you’ve had a chance to talk.”
I tightened my lips and looked away from her intense gaze. “If you know already, then why are you asking?”
“Because, honey, I’ve been waiting for you to mention him to me since you got back, and you haven’t. Not once.”
I shrugged. “I didn’t feel like talking about him.”
“Are you still mad at what he did to you back when you were in high school?” she asked blankly.
No one had ever outright asked me that. And with the thoughts that had been going through my head for the past hour or so, thinking seriously about her question…
“No,” I replied, surprising myself. “Not that I forgive him—I’m still a ways from that—but I’m not still mad about it. I mean, we were both kids. We’ve both obviously matured since then.” I winced. “If anything, I regret how I’ve been treating him like a bastard since I got back.”
I looked down at my tea, watching the steam rise from it. I thought back to every glare, every curt word. When he offered to take my car off my hands to fix it up, I wasn’t nice even then. He almost always had his daughter around him, though, so I’d had to play at being civil. But it took me a few weeks to bring myself to agree to the offer, and a week after that, regretting the decision, because I knew it meant we would have to converse at some point—as if I didn’t already talk to him almost every day because of his daughter.
“I might have been… just a little too harsh,” I murmured. “If not out loud, then in my thoughts, in how I treated him. He didn’t deserve that.”
There was a moment of silence, broken when I heard my mom sigh, and there was some relief behind the sound. When I looked up, it was to see her smiling at me, looking happier than she had in a while. I just watched her, confused.
“You have no idea how glad I am to hear you say that. Ever since that incident happened with the two of you in school, I watched my little girl turn into someone I didn’t know. You became so quiet, so irritable. Your father and I worried so much about you.”
My eyes widened the more she kept talking. Yeah, I had tried to pretend the whole thing didn’t happen while I was at home, but I probably didn’t do a good enough job of it. Not that it was a surprise my family could read me so well.
“It was why we let you leave so readily when you brought it up,” she continued. “We would have rather you stuck closer to home, but we made sure you had the money you needed to leave town.” Then she smiled sadly. “We never expected you would stay away so much, though. Barely visiting…”
“I called often,” I murmured guiltily.
“Calling was never enough, though.” She pursed her lips, seeing how her words were affecting me. As they should, because everything she said was the truth. I chose to run away and it wasn’t fair, but then she changed the subject. “Anyway, what have you and Ross talked about? You know, to get rid of the bad blood between the two of you, you need to talk things out properly, right?”
“I can't say we’ve talked all that much about anything important,” I said with a twist of my lips that mimicked a smile. “I guess you could say I just realized it.”
She smiled, that knowing look back again. “Because of Sophia, right?”
I nodded. “He’s so good with her. He’s a good dad, though I never thought of him ever having children back when we were teenagers, and so young.”
“Ever since her mother left, he’s been everything to that little girl.”
“I know. She’s a very bright girl and good in school. I used to think it was just natural talent, or she was good at listening in class. But it turns out, he closes work to pick her up and spend the afternoon with her. And sometimes he helps her with her homework and teaches her ahead of the class. And because he prefers to pick Sophia up and spend time with her, I’m pretty sure he’s losing out on some work that would make him earn more from his garage.”
Not to mention how long he’d been working on my car. I hadn't passed by since I dropped it off to see just what he was doing with it that it took so long. No matter how cheaply he valued his work, I knew it would be much more than what he claimed.
“He’s working on your car, isn’t he?” my mom asked, like she could read my mind.
I sighed. “Yeah, he is. It’s a terrible car. I can't tell you how many times it’s broken down, but he said he could fix it for me.”
“And have you gone to the garage to look it over?”
She said it suggestively, and I took it to mean that, if I hadn't, I should. I didn’t think I could, though, not that quickly. After all, I’d only been truly nice to him for the first time today. I would feel too embarrassed to suddenly show up at his garage.
If he invited me again,
however…
I needed to do something about our relationship, though. It wasn’t the best at the moment; though he was obviously more than willing to be nice, I just had to meet him half way.
“Hey, Mom?”
“Hmm?” she looked up at me.
“Can I take you to the diner early tomorrow, before I have to get to school? I’d like to pick something up for breakfast.”
I didn’t have to say out loud that it wasn’t for me, and she smiled again as she nodded.
Jessica
I sat in the diner waiting for my mom to warm up something for me. I’d offered to help, it was still early though we weren’t the only early risers in town, it seemed. Mom refused the offer, though. I had about half an hour to get to the school and, even then, I would be early, so I could do what I usually did and wait for my kids to arrive.
I stood by the counter talking to one of the workers. She was usually behind the cash register whenever I came by, and I knew it was because my mom trusted her in the position. She went to the same high school I had, but she must have joined after I left, and I’d been so relieved when I first heard that.
It might be ridiculous, but I was pretty much avoiding anyone I’d known well. Mary was different, because she and I had been friends before I decided to isolate myself, and, in any case, with work, it wasn’t like I could run from her.
“You know, I still can't believe he’s doing that shit to himself.”
“Yeah. If he had to stick around, fine, but Ross would be making more cash if he was at least smart about it.”
There was a laugh, then; “You say that as if you’ve ever left this town.”
“I did!”
“No way! Living in between this town and the next doesn’t mean you left town, you’re just a little further out than before.”
I hadn't meant to eavesdrop. There was a lull in my conversation with the girl at the cash register, and they weren’t that far behind me, so I heard them. I would have done the polite thing and tuned them out, but they mentioned Ross and I couldn’t help myself. Especially considering what the subject was about.
“How long has he been working on that car, anyway,” one of them said.
That made my ears perk up, as I immediately thought about my car, the one he’d been sitting on and supposedly working on for a whole month. I knew, even as I tried to kid myself that it couldn’t possibly be my car they were talking about.
“You mean that old piece of shit that he’s been working on for a month? The thing was a trash heap. I don’t know if he’s fixing it up for himself, or what, it would be a miracle if he got to restore that thing, but if he doesn’t get a mini-fortune for it, he’s a fucking idiot.”
My back stiffened in irritation. It was true that my car was a piece of shit, though. Every time it broke down and I managed to get it to a mechanic, they always told me the same thing: that I was lucky the thing was still running, and I needed to turn it in to some junkyard before it fell apart on me while I was driving and I got hurt.
I hadn't entirely trusted that Ross could fix it, either, with how messed up it was, even though he’d invited me plenty of times to check on its progress and I refused every time. Now, I kinda regretted not going at least once.
“If he wanted to make money being a mechanic, he should have considered moving shop, though,” one of the guys went on. “I brought it up to him before, but he said he didn’t want to move too far away from home.”
“It’s because of his daughter, isn’t it? His ex ran out on him and he needs his mom’s help raising the kid.”
The other guy snorted. “If he isn’t ready to raise a kid, he might as well leave her with his mom permanently. Besides, he has a car. There’s a garage for sale about an hour away. If he moved there, made more hours, got the right customers…”
“Yeah. He could make enough to live comfortably on in a year, and maybe think of expanding.” He paused and laughed. “Still needs to get rid of the trash heap, though. He’s already used up way too much time and resources on it. Even then, it’d be a miracle if it worked—”
“Here you go, honey.”
I jumped at the interruption. I was staring off into space as I listened to the conversation going on behind me. I’d glanced at them discreetly, and I was pretty sure I didn’t recognize them from high school, but they were probably Ross’s friends. My mom’s voice suddenly cutting in startled me, and when I looked up to meet her eyes, she was giving me a confused look.
“Is something wrong?” she asked, sounding a little worried.
But I shook my head quickly and tried to smile.
“I’m just fine, Mom,” I said, feeling guilty about lying to her.
I reached across the counter for the bag, but she held it away from me, frowning. I lost the smile and frowned stubbornly back. After a moment of us staring at each other, she sighed and held the bag out to me. I didn’t leave immediately, though, giving her a more natural-looking smile. It wasn’t her fault that I was mad at that idiot, again.
“Thank you for the breakfast, Mom. I appreciate it.”
She arched an eyebrow. “Yeah. Let’s hope he does as well, hmm?”
I rolled my eyes at my mother, even though she must have realized something. Ross wasn’t going to taste my mom’s pastries; I might as well just hand them over to Mary when I made it to the school. And that was exactly what I was going to do.
I turned away from my mother and caught the gaze of one of the guys I’d been eavesdropping on. But seeing him and his friend, who also turned to look at me, just reminded me of their conversation and the information I got from it. I stomped out of the diner in anger, hearing my mom call me out on it, but I ignored her.
“Fucking cheap, my ass,” I growled under my breath as I started a rapid walk down the street.
Every time he mentioned my car, I asked about the price, and I imagine the longer he had it, the more I should pay for it. Hell, some of the mechanics I’d taken the old car to had cost me double what he did for an afternoon’s work.
So why the fuck was Ross charging me next to nothing?
I froze in the middle of the sidewalk as my mind pushed through the scenarios and possibilities. Maybe he was trying for sex? Using it as an apology? I huffed and rolled my eyes, just remembering. I started walking again, but slower, with a scowl on my face. I wanted to fold my arms over my chest, but I couldn’t with the hot brown bag in my hand.
Was the bastard making a fool of me? I thought to myself with a gasp.
There couldn’t be any other possibility. I had thought we’d both matured, but, if he was still the shitty kid from back then, I was going to call him out on it. Then I was going to wait until we could get some privacy away from his daughter and the kids at my school, and I was going to tell him what I thought about him back then after what he did to me.
Ross
I stopped the car in the school parking lot and let Sophia and myself out. I held her hand as we crossed the road, and, as usual, Jessica was there waiting. As soon as we were on the other side of the street, Sophia ran to Jessica and hugged her and they chatted a bit. Then Sophia ran inside.
But then Jessica turned to me with a look that was colder than usual.
I knew, instinctively, that something had happened. What or when, I had no idea, but it had something to do with me, and I wondered how I’d managed to annoy her this time.
“Jessica, what is it?” I asked, my voice low with worry.
Anger suddenly crossed her face, and it was strong enough to make me take a step back, but just mostly because it was anger aimed at me. It was a look that brought back memories nearly a decade old and confused me at the same time. Why couldn't she fucking forget it? It was a long time ago, and she was still acting as if it was the other day.
“Okay, seriously, what’s wrong?” I grew impatient and just wanted to get straight to the point.
She opened her mouth to speak, only to pause and look around. There were still childre
n arriving and running around. She snapped her mouth shut and shot me another glare. I was tempted to back off, maybe let her cool off a bit. Her being angry at me reminded me of how I’d felt back then after what I did to her. I’d hurt her emotionally and ended up hurting myself in the process. I was dumb enough to back off then, and, in the end, we never got to talk before she left town.
I had been hoping things would get better between us, that we could be friends, at least, and hopefully more someday. So, whatever she was mad at me for now, we needed to resolve it before I left, or she’d stop talking to me again.
“Okay, look,” she finally said, and it was obvious she was having a hard time keeping her voice down and civil. “I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing, Ross. I would say I don’t care, but that is a self-evident lie. I will tell you right now to back the fuck off, though, if you think I’m going to let you play me again.”
I could feel my face morph into shock. I already knew she was mad and it made something in my chest shrivel up. But I forced myself to stand my ground. I reminded myself that I wasn’t an insecure teenager anymore, I was a man, and I was going to prove it to both of us.
“You’re going to have to explain something to me, Jessica,” I said after calming myself down a little, and I took a couple of steps closer. She stiffened and glanced around, but didn’t move away from me. I breathed a silent sigh of relief at that. “I don’t know why you’re suddenly so mad, or exactly what I did this time to get you to blow up at me, so explain it to me.”
“There's nothing to fucking explain,” she hissed with a glare.
“Uh, yeah, there is,” I protested, my voice lowering to match hers. “Even if nothing ever happens between us, there’s still my daughter, who happens to be in your class. You and I are going to have to get along, if for no other reason.”
I saw her grimace as she realized I was right, and I wondered what made her so mad that she’d allowed herself to forget in the first place.
Second Chance Draft: A Second Chance Sports Romance (Pass To Win Book 6) Page 41
