Also, my mom was in there. What the hell was I going to say to her? She’d been so happy for me that morning; I didn’t want to make her upset when she saw the state I was in. But I probably needed to talk to her about this. She’d be even angrier if I tried to keep it from her, after all.
I glanced at the seat next to me, where all the food I’d made waited and sighed as I left it in the car. I wiped my eyes carefully, using the side mirror, then took a deep, fortifying breath, and walked into the diner.
There were a few people here and there, thankfully, no one that I knew. I walked up to the counter, doing my best to ignore the people around me, and waited for the girl that stood there to look up and notice I was there. She did after a minute, her eyes widening a little in her surprise, but then she smiled.
“Jessica! Hi. I heard the school was closed down for the day from your mom, but I didn’t expect you to show up here. She said you had plans.”
I felt my throat close up, even as I tried to smile normally. I wasn’t sure I made it, but I hadn't expected my mom to go around telling people what I was up to. Of course, she didn’t seem to know exactly what that was, so I was grateful for small mercies.
“I’d like to talk to my mom,” I said, after swallowing the lump in my throat. “Is she in the kitchen or her office?”
The girl laughed. “You know what your mom is like! This early, she’s still in the kitchen, and she’ll stay there until ten or eleven before taking a break.”
I pursed my lips and frowned, distracted for the moment. “Doesn’t she take more rest? I know I asked her to…”
“She does on some days, but there are others where she’s just stubborn. Don’t worry, though. We wouldn’t let her overwork herself. If she looks even a little bit tired, we convince her to sit down while we take over.”
Her voice was strong with her determination, and I smiled more naturally. Mom was good at surrounding herself with good people. But then my smile dimmed a little.
If only I could be as good at that as she was.
“Um, can you let my mom know that I want to talk to her?” I asked quickly when I felt my eyes sting with tears. My voice wavered a bit, but the girl didn’t seem to notice anything was wrong, giving me another smile. “In her office, if possible.”
“Sure, hang on. I’ll go get her from the kitchen.”
I watched as she walked through the door that led to the back of the diner, where the kitchen was. I didn’t have to wait long before she was back with my mom, who looked worried. Of course, she would know why I wanted to speak to her in the office instead of just walking into the kitchen myself—I wanted the privacy.
She saw my face, and, with just a glance, she frowned, seeming to notice something the girl had missed.
“Don’t worry, Rita,” the girl said as my mom walked around the counter, “we’ll hold down the fort for now.”
“Thank you, dear. You’re all a very big help.”
The girl flushed with pleasure, and I smiled again. She was only a few years younger than me but, compared to her, I felt so old.
Mom led the way to her office, through a short hallway, and to another door that most customers never got to see. She let the both of us inside with her key, then locked the door behind us.
“So we won’t be disturbed,” she explained, though I hadn't asked.
There was an official desk with chairs on either side, on the far side of the room. But instead of going there, she led me to the couch pressed against the wall to the side of the door. We sat up with a knee curled underneath as we faced each other. Mom took my hand and held it between us, giving a light squeeze. I smiled at her in thanks for that.
“Now, why don’t you tell me what’s wrong.”
“I just…” my voice trailed off as my eyes blurred with tears. I didn’t want to start crying over this shit, not with my mom there, so I took a moment to beat back the urge to just let the tears out and fall into a sobbing fit. “I went to Ross’s place earlier today.”
She nodded her head encouragingly. “I know that, honey. I expected you to be there, so I was surprised when I was suddenly told you were asking for me. Is this about Ross? Did something happen?” she frowned. “Did he do something to hurt you?”
I shook my head, but not in denial of her statement. Ross had fucking hurt me, whether he knew it or not.
“I didn’t even get to talk to him, Mom…”
“Then what is it?”
“He was there with a woman.”
It was all I needed to say. Her frown deepened, as her lips tightened. It was nice seeing my mom angry for my sake, but I had to remind myself that I didn’t want her upset.
“Do you know who it was?”
I shook my head and wiped quickly at my nose as I sniffled. “I don’t know, Mom, I didn’t even get close enough to see her face. They were talking right in front of his house, and she was openly flirting with him. I don’t think either of them even saw me.”
My mom’s expression morphed into sympathy, and it was probably because my face had crumpled in my effort to hold in my tears.
“Oh, honey,” she breathed out as she leaned over to me, pulling me in for a fierce hug. “It’s going to be all right, Jess. Maybe there’s an explanation for it? You didn’t get to hear one, right?”
I held on tightly back and sniffled some more as I shook my head against her shoulder.
“I don’t see how this could be all right. Or how he could excuse himself after I saw that.” I wasn’t sure I even wanted to go back to hear an explanation. He’d probably just lie.
After a moment, Mom pulled away, and brushed her fingers at the corners of my eyes, wiping away stray tears that were determined to fall.
“But honey, there could be a reason. Can you give me a description of what this woman looks like?”
I frowned as I thought back. “Well, I guess she’s tall. She has dark hair, kinda like Ross, and it was wavy. It was long, too, and fell down her back to about her waist.”
Mom’s expression showed shock, then turned thoughtful. It was my turn to frown at her reaction.
“Mom, do you know who she is?”
I don’t think she heard me, though.
“Ah,” she said, almost to herself. “I guess I forgot to tell you. Hell, I forgot it myself.” Then she met my eyes. “Ross’s ex is in town.”
My eyes widened. “What?”
“As in, Sophia’s birth mother,” she explained, not that I needed her to. “I’m pretty sure she’s the only woman he’s ever dated, and she fits that description perfectly. Of course, it could be someone else, but I’m willing to bet it was her.” She frowned to herself. “Now that I think about it, it does make perfect sense.”
“It doesn’t to me,” I protested.
She patted my hand. “Ross and she didn’t exactly part on good terms. She wanted to go, and he let her go. It’s why Cecilia took Sophia away from her father yesterday; she doesn’t do that lightly, you know. I’m sure they don’t want that woman doing anything to hurt her this time. She’s older now, so her mother leaving will have a bigger effect on that little girl.”
I blinked as I tried to make sense of this new information. He hadn't been lying to me again? I tried to get it all out of my mind. The words kept flowing in. The wrong thoughts. Until I realized that I wanted to doubt Ross so badly that I hadn't given him the benefit of the doubt. I had to stop thinking the worst of people, especially Ross.
“You don’t have to cry, Jessica,” Mom said, sounding a little alarmed. “If it is her, then you don’t have to worry. There’s absolutely no way Ross would ever take that woman back. You know how much he loves his daughter, and he determined she wasn’t good enough for Sophia the moment she left town.”
I laughed, and the sound came out a little wet. It was my turn to pat my mom’s hand in comfort.
“Don’t worry, Mom, I’m crying because I’m relieved.”
Her eyes were suddenly sympathetic. “You thought it
was high school all over again, didn’t you,” she intuited.
I nodded slowly and smiled, self-deprecating. “My fault. I should know to have some trust in Ross.”
He would probably be hurt if he knew I thought for even a moment that he was cheating on me with some woman. I already knew he was too devoted to his daughter to be a womanizer. I felt like a fool myself for even thinking it.
“And I should probably take this as a lesson,” I continued. “I’ve gotten pretty good at jumping the gun, but I guess I need to wait to hear an explanation before jumping to the wrong conclusions.”
It was another holdover from what had happened in high school, and I needed to get over all of it. I had promised myself, and Ross, that the past wouldn’t affect our future anymore.
“I won’t go to him, though. He probably needs to deal with this on his own, so I’ll give him some time. I’ll wait for him to come to me.”
And this time, I would hear him out.
Ross
I woke up feeling groggy and irritable. A moment later, my alarm rang and I smacked it off the nightstand in annoyance.
“Fuck you, Natalia,” I growled to myself.
My ex was becoming a problem. She kept coming to my place every morning. It had gotten to the point that I worried about Sophia staying in the house, at least while Natalia was in town, so she’d moved to my mom’s for the past few days.
I got out of bed and went to grab a quick shower, then got dressed. I paused outside my daughter’s door, who I’d barely gotten to see, then went on my way downstairs. My foot touched the floor, just in time for the doorbell to ring. I groaned, already knowing who I would see when I opened the door.
I did it anyway.
“Natalia,” I growled. I’d given up on being civil after the past couple days.
She pouted at me, and I hated how she looked a lot like Sophia when she did it. Her green eyes were the same as my little girl, though her dark hair was a different shade from Sophia’s, at least.
“Oh, come on, Ross. Why wouldn’t I come here? I used to live here.”
I rolled my eyes. “Exactly. Used to, until you decided you wanted to skip town, and you wanted to do it on your own.”
She scowled and folded her arms over her chest. “I would have taken Sophia with me, but I left her with you because I knew you wouldn’t like it.”
I growled at the mere thought of her taking Sophia and leaving. I would have fought her tooth and nail. Knowing her, she would have tried to take her anyway, and I would have involved the police, even if it got her arrested.
Natalia sighed. “There’s no need for things to go that far. I’ve already told you, Ross, I’m here to stay. A girl deserves to get to know her mother, doesn’t she? Have you even told her anything about me?”
“Of course I have,” I snapped.
But her words had struck home, and the guilt was back.
It was utterly ridiculous, why was I feeling guilty? I knew Natalia. No matter what she said, she would get sick of staying in town again, and she would leave as easily as she had before. Sophia would be devastated, and I would be furious.
But she brought out a lot of good points, as well. Both my mom and Jessica had made me realize that Sophia needed a mother, and she would probably like it if it was the woman that gave birth to her. I didn’t want to get back together with Natalia. I’d loved her. And even though Sophia wasn’t planned for, I loved her, too. Natalia leaving the both of us had felt like a fucking betrayal, and it had hurt.
I never considered dating again, until Jessica came back to town.
And now, here she was, back and claiming it was to stay, if only I took her back and let her into her daughter’s life.
But I didn’t want to do that because I didn’t think I could act as if nothing had happened and we were picking up where we left off.
“Look, Natalia,” I said, suddenly feeling very exhausted. “I’m not feeling up to a chat today. I’d like to politely ask you to please leave.”
She frowned. “Are you ever going to let me see my daughter, Ross? She’s ours, you know. Not just yours.”
I sneered at her. “Like I could forget. Mom’s the one that won’t let it happen, so take your argument to her.”
“You know your mom never liked me, Ross.”
“That’s a lie. She liked you just fine until you left.”
She pursed her lips angrily, but I was just so sick of her. I didn’t even wait for her to say anything. I just slammed the door in her face. There was silence, then the sound of a short scream, then stomping feet.
I don’t want to be with her, I reiterated to myself. Being with her didn’t automatically mean it would be good for Sophia.
But I still had doubts.
After a few minutes, I cautiously moved back to the door. I opened it and stepped out, just in time to see my mom driving up. She must have seen I was exhausted before she even left the car, because, when she came to stand in front of me, it was with eyes narrowed in anger.
“She was here again, wasn’t she?”
All I did was nod.
Mom muttered an expletive, rare for her, and walked inside the house, and I followed behind her.
“Did you drop Sophia at the school?”
“Yes,” she said curtly. Then she suddenly whirled around and fixed me with a glare intense enough to make me flinch. “Why haven’t you sent her packing already?”
I hesitated. Why, indeed.
“You know I can't just do that. She is, legally, Sophia’s mother.”
She shook her head, sharply enough that her gray hair whipped around her face. Her expression changed, and I winced as I felt more guilt piercing my chest.
“She’s starting to wonder why I won’t let her home, Ross. You need to do something quickly.”
“I know, just…”
She held up a hand, cutting me off. “No, Ross. If you want reasons why never to take her back, then here’s one; Natalia was a fucking bitch. I know you loved her, but I wasn’t surprised when she wanted to leave. Fuck, I was happy. She wasn’t good for you. When you were with her, I thought my son was lost to me, and I only got you back after that bitch was gone. Just look at what she’s done to you in a few days!”
I hadn't looked in a mirror, but I knew I looked bad because of how I felt. I gave Mom a helpless look, and she replied with a shaky smile.
“I got my son back, Ross. I’m not losing you to her again. I’ve given you all you need to make up your mind. The moment she comes back here, tell her to back the fuck off and leave.”
I huffed a laugh, smiling a little at all the swearing she’d done in the past few minutes. But I was no longer undecided.
Ross
I stood in my living room, with Jessica standing just a few feet from me. So why did she feel so far away? I hadn't explained to her about Natalia, and I wondered if she even knew about the whole fiasco. It had taken telling Natalia to leave to make me realize I hadn't seen Jessica in a while, and that was enough to worry me.
That she stood with her arms crossed over her chest and a guarded look on her face bothered me greatly, but I had no one to blame but myself for this one. It had been hell just convincing her to come to my place after she was done with school so we could make use of the privacy.
“Jessica,” I started, breaking the silence that had been between us for the past several minutes.
Neither of us made a move to sit down.
“What is it, Ross?”
I couldn’t read her voice at all to figure out what was going on. I took a deep breath, deciding it didn’t matter, as I took a step closer to her. I wasn’t sure enough of myself to move any closer, though.
“I’m sorry.” The blunt apology seemed to surprise her, making her eyes widen. “I don’t want to keep apologizing to you for the rest of our lives because I did something stupid again, but this time… I want you to forgive me, Jessica, please.”
She looked hesitant. “You haven’t done anythi
ng I need to forgive you for.”
She didn’t sound sure, though, and that broke my heart a little.
“The past week has been… a little too much for me.”
“You do look exhausted,” she murmured, and I could read some sympathy in her eyes.
It gave me hope.
“I know I never told you about Sophia’s mom, my ex. Natalia went to our school, but she graduated a year earlier than us. I met her after my senior year, and we were… together. We were a little reckless. I’m pretty sure Sophia was conceived in the bathroom of some bar outside of town.”
Jessica had a look of slight disgust on her face, probably wondering why I was telling her this. It made me smile a little.
“The point is, I loved her. But it took having Sophia for me to realize she wasn’t really good for me. It’s probably why I didn’t fight her so hard when she said she wanted to leave. We argued, but I never once told her to stay. My mom was the one that made me realize that.”
There was finally a loosening in her stance, her arms falling to her sides as she frowned at me.
“I’m not mad at you,” she said, which made me relax, then wonder if that was true, or if she just thought it was. “I’m just wondering why it took you a week to finally talk to me.”
I shrugged, then sighed. “Because Natalia is very good at talking me into things. Not always the safest things. She was just… I wasn’t at my best when I was with her. But it’s different with you.” I hesitated but took a step closer. She looked wary but didn’t try to step back. “I feel like I made a fool of myself, acting so fucking indecisive. You… I guess the best way I can put it is, you make me feel like a man. Not just some idiot you’re using to cure your boredom. Somehow, I’d forgotten I’d felt that way plenty of times with Natalia.”
She wrinkled her nose. “This Natalia sounds like a real piece of work.”
“Oh, she was. I can only blame it on teenage stupidity and naïveté. But that’s the past, and the past is over now, isn’t it? I want you in my life, Jessica. And I absolutely don’t want anything to do with Natalia. And I’m sorry it took me a whole fucking week to come to that conclusion.”
Second Chance Draft: A Second Chance Sports Romance (Pass To Win Book 6) Page 47
