by Nikki Chase
There’s a good chance she’s not going to let me ever get close to her ever again when she finds out what I’ve done. I feel like such a fuck-up for hiding this from her, but I can’t tell her now.
I can’t have her panicking. I’ll keep her close where she’s safe and I’ll tell her when my plan is ready.
I should’ve been more careful in Seattle. We didn’t flaunt our closeness in the conference hall, but anybody could’ve seen us come in and out of the same hotel room. It’s very possible they already know about us.
I need to put all the pieces in place so we’ll have options at least, before I tell her. Otherwise, I’ll just scare her and make her feel trapped.
Emily turns onto her side and reaches toward the nightstand to grab the phone, the one I gave her in Seattle.
Good job covering all the bases, man, I scold myself.
I’ve totally forgotten about the location tracker on that phone.
I’ve been too careless. There are too many moving parts for me to manage. And unfortunately, I’m not exactly in my best condition, being so distracted by Emily and nervous from having to suddenly carry out my emergency plan.
Shit. I need to seriously step up my game.
“We should get you a new phone,” I say.
“What do you mean ‘we’?”
“Technically you lost it due to a business trip, so the company should reimburse you for the loss.” I place my palms against her flat belly and pull her close. I nuzzle her hair, breathing in the scent of her shampoo.
“Are you just saying that so you can buy me stuff?” She reaches one hand behind her, resting her fingers on the back of my neck.
“Maybe.” I sigh when she starts stroking my skin.
“I don’t need a sugar daddy, Cole,” she says. “I’ll buy it myself, but you can come with me.”
“Okay.”
“Maybe we can also meet with my sister at the mall? She’s always worried about me and I’m sure it’ll make her feel better if she gets to know you.”
Damn it, it’s just one problem after another.
A part of me wishes I could just tell Emily already so I can get this over and done with and I don’t have to constantly feel like there’s a sword hanging over my neck.
Another part of me wishes I never have to tell her so she’ll always look at me the same way. It kills me to think she’ll probably never look at me that way ever again after Tuesday.
Maybe we can survive this, if I deliver the news at the right time, in the right way. But I’m not naive enough to believe that one-hundred percent.
After all, is there ever a good time or a good way to tell the girl you love that you killed her boyfriend?
Emily
“Cole?” I ask after a few silent seconds.
“Do you really think we're ready for that?” His voice is soft, like he doesn’t want to let me down. But that's not the answer I was hoping for.
Cole has been telling me he has genuine feelings about me and he wants to make this relationship work. But if he doesn't want to meet Alice, then I’ll know everything I need to know about his intentions.
The message from Alice that I just got on my phone simply says: “We need to talk.”
“Yes, Cole.” I say. “My sister is my only family and she's always worried about me. I think it’ll really make her feel better if she meets you and gets to know you.”
I haven't told Alice about Cole. I know, I know. I should’ve told her. But I haven't had a chance to just sit down and chat with her.
Even though we live together, she works all the time and she's only around either very early in the morning or very late at night.
I stayed home all day yesterday, but I spent the whole time sleeping like a log. I was exhausted after all the work I’d done preparing and actually doing the presentation. Also, I spent a lot of time in Seattle not sleeping and doing other things with Cole instead.
I guess the fact that I’m not home this late at night, combined with my using a strange phone number, makes Alice panic a little bit. I mean, she usually freaks out even when nothing has happened.
I’ve been worried about how she's going to react, especially considering her frantic phone call on my way to the airport when she told me to not sleep with my boss.
And then I went and did just that.
Cole’s grip around my body tightens. It feels good. It brings me back to the present, reminding me I’m in the bed of a gorgeous man whom I’m really starting to fall for.
“If it's really that important to you...” He doesn't sound too enthusiastic, but I guess meeting the family is just one of those things that most people see as a chore.
“It is important to me. When she's worried she spams my phone and I’d rather not deal with that every time I stay the night here.”
“Every time you stay the night here? Sounds like you're planning to do it quite a lot. I like the sound of that.”
“I won't stay here much if it freaks Alice out every time,” I say, trying to keep the conversation on track.
“You two must be really close,” he says softly.
“We are. She's helped me through so much.” I sigh. This is going to be a pretty long story, but if Cole's really going to stick around then he deserves to know the truth. “My dad left not long after I was born and my mom, well, she didn't do a good job of raising us. So Alice had to raise herself, and take care of me as well. As soon as she turned eighteen, she moved out and took me with her. My mom never so much as tried to look for me.”
Cole remains silent, but his hand is gently stroking my head. It feels comforting.
“That was ten years ago.” My voice starts to crack, but I keep going. “I moved out to my own place but after a...personal tragedy, I had to move back in with Alice. She's my rock.”
I can't bring myself to tell Cole about Scott.
I’ve always hated bringing up exes to new partners, but this is on a whole other level of awkward. Scott is definitely not an ex. I would've happily spent the rest of my life with him if he didn't pass away so suddenly in a tragic accident. I could never bring myself to leave him.
How do you bring up a dead guy you still love to a new guy? And while you're still in his bed after having mind-blowing sex, no less?
“Tell her we’ll see her at the mall tomorrow, baby,” Cole says soothingly, his hands caressing my skin and my hair. “I want to know everything and everyone that's important to you.”
“Okay.” I let my tears fall freely onto Cole’s luxuriously fluffy pillow, the little salty droplets seeping into the soft fabric of the pillowcase.
“I love you.” Cole kisses the back of my head and wraps his arms around me.
I keep quiet, but I place my hands on his strong forearms and gently caress his skin in response.
I’m not ready yet to tell him I feel the same way, but I have to admit I like the way things are going. It’s safe and comfortable with Cole spooning me, his hard body warm on my back.
“Yay.” I pull a chair back and take a seat while Cole does the same beside me. “I knew you'd be off today. It's the third Saturday of the month.”
“And you assume I don't have any plans.” Alice smiles while I take in the sight of all the delicious food on the table.
This particular restaurant is usually super busy, especially during the weekend. It's almost impossible to get a reservation at the last minute, but Cole made it happen. I asked Alice to order for all three of us while Cole and I were at the Apple store buying my new phone.
“Yes. I love you. But seriously, you need to get a life.” I glance at Cole. “This is my sister Alice. And Alice, this is Cole.”
“Your boss,” Alice says pointedly. Her lips form a big wide smile, but her eyes don't look very friendly. She extends a hand and says, “Hi, I’m Alice. Pleased to meet you.”
“Pleasure is all mine.” He shakes Alice’s hand and smiles. “I’m Cole. Emily’s boyfriend.”
Uh-oh. This is not going to
be easy. We haven't exactly had the boyfriend-girlfriend discussion. I don’t mind Cole seeing our relationship that way, but Alice doesn't seem too impressed.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” she says, sarcasm dripping with every syllable she utters. “I thought it was too early for bringing up something like that.”
“So.” I clap my hands together to break the tension and draw their attention to me. It's probably best if I’m the one who steers the conversation. “The conference went great. My presentation was a big success. Right, Cole?”
“You did really well, baby,” he says, smiling at me with that tender look in his eyes that I’m really growing to love. Maybe seeing how much Cole cares about me would soften Alice’s heart.
“And guess who I saw?” I look at Alice, who’s still eyeing Cole with suspicion. I stab some lettuce in the salad and bring it to my mouth.
“Who?” She asks as she takes a bite of her burger. It's so unfair the way Alice can eat anything and stay skinny while I have to watch what I eat and only occasionally treat myself.
“Marco,” I say.
“Oh. I totally forgot that he lives in Seattle now,” Alice says, looking genuinely surprised.
“I thought you texted him a few months ago after the interview.” I shovel more salad into my mouth. “By the way, this Caesar salad. It's really good.”
“Well…” Alice looks up like she's trying to remember.
“You know what's weird?” I take a sip of the Diet Coke Alice ordered for me. “He told me he didn't recommend me for the job. He said he didn't even know Cole. Well, not personally, anyway. I wanted to ask you about this when I was in Seattle, but I dropped my phone in the pool and couldn't reach you. You know, I don't remember anybody's phone number these days.”
“Whoa, hold up.” Cole raises his hands. His eyebrows are taut and there are lines in his forehead, but his lips are upturned. “You dropped your phone in the pool? As in the swimming pool at The Trident?” He bursts into laughter when I nod. “You didn't tell me that!”
“Well, I was mad at you at that time.” As much as I like seeing Cole laugh, I don't want our fight to be the subject of the first story Alice hears about us. “Wait. So, Alice, you told me Marco was the one who recommended the job, right?”
“I did.”
“See? I know I’m not crazy. So Marco just...forgot? He told me it was probably one of your friends instead.”
“He's right,” Alice says. “It's Randy from the restaurant. I just thought you'd be more motivated if you thought you knew the person who recommended you.”
“That's silly. You know I always value your input.”
“Well, I can't explain it to you. It seemed to make sense at the time.” Alice takes another big bite of her burger.
I look at Cole, who's been silent for a while. I raise my eyebrows at him.
"Right. Randy." He finishes chewing his steak and swallows. "I remember now. He's my father’s old friend. He asked me to personally see you."
Alice and Cole continue to not say much to each other as they eat, forcing me to be the one to keep the conversation going. I’m not going to lie, I was hoping it would be a little easier than this. But they seem determined to not get along for some reason.
When Cole excuses himself from the table to make a phone call, I use the time to have a frank conversation with Alice.
"Alice, you're not even trying." I put my fork down. It clangs as it hits the plate. "Can you please give him a chance? For me?"
"I really don't think this is a good idea, Em," she says.
"You're the one who's been telling me it's time for me to start dating again." I look at her with disbelief.
"Yeah, but I didn't think you were going to date your boss." She sighs. "I thought you were smarter than this."
“You’re saying that because I'm dating Cole? You used to date your boss too!" My voice grows louder as my frustration mounts. Such hypocrisy!
"Hello? Used to. I'm not dating him anymore. For good reason." Alice's eyes widen and her eyebrows are raised. "It's just not a good idea to date your boss."
"Look, just because it didn't work out for you or for Mom doesn't mean that I'm doomed to fail, too. I'm not you, and I'm definitely not Mom. And Cole's not your boss, or any of Mom's bosses." Some heads have turned toward us now, and I look around to make sure Cole is still outside. Lowering my volume, I say, "I like him, Alice. Like, really like him. And this is the first time since...you know."
"I just don't want you to get hurt." Alice takes my hand and looks straight into my eyes. "Maybe you should let this one go. There will be other men that you'll like. Em, I have a bad feeling about this."
"It's not that easy, Alice. It's... I don't..." I rack my brain, trying to find the right words to say. "I was starting to think I was never going to fall in love again. And then I started to fall for him."
"Oh, God. It's even worse than I thought." She sighs.
"Alice. I understand if you're worried. But I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself," I say.
"You don't get it, Em. I have a really bad feeling about this."
"You keep saying that, but you still haven't told me why," I say.
"You're right. I can't tell you what to do or how to live your life."
"So you're going to try to get along with Cole?"
"That's not what I said." Alice frowns when she notices Cole approaching our table. "I can't stop you from seeing him, but I don't have to be happy about it."
My mouth hangs open. I can't believe she's acting like such an immature brat. She doesn't even know Cole!
As Cole takes a seat beside me, a waiter comes along. He stops at our table and asks, "May I clear the table? Can I interest you in some desserts?"
"We'll just have the check, please," I say curtly, glaring at Alice.
"Very well," he says as he gets the empty plates on the table, somehow balances them on his hands, and walks away.
I planned to spend the rest of the night with both Cole and Alice, but it's obvious now that's not going to be a pleasant experience. And while Cole hasn't tried very hard, it's Alice who's being overly hostile toward Cole. She has unfairly judged him without even trying to get to know him.
"Excuse me." I stand up, causing my chair to drag across the floor behind me, making a loud noise.
I don't care anymore who's watching. I make my way past tables of dressed-up diners as best as I can, navigating through my blurry vision. This night couldn't have gone any worse. And now I have to go hide in the ladies' room to cry.
Cole
“What do you think you’re doing?” My father’s voice booms through the phone.
Fuck. This sounds like the kind of conversation that’s going to take a while. Meanwhile, Emily and Alice are waiting for me at the table, and I really don’t want to leave them alone if I can help it.
“What is this about, Pop?”
“You know full well what this is about. Nora told me you had a guest last night. A woman who left long blonde hair in the drain. It’s right after you came back from the conference so I’m sure you can understand my suspicion. So please. Tell me it’s not her. Tell me you’re not that stupid.”
What the fuck? In what world is it normal for an elderly housekeeper to check the hair left in the drain? Does she think she’s Sherlock Holmes, or James Bond?
“It’s just some girl. Stop spying on me, Pop. I’m an adult. You should be ashamed of yourself.” I look around at the shoppers in the mall, checking to see if any one of them looks like one of my father’s spies.
“You may be an adult, but you’re acting like a child. So that’s how I’m going to treat you. You better not be with that girl, boy. You know damn well you’d be putting the whole family at risk.”
“Pop. I have to go, okay? I have things to do.” I hang up.
I bet he hates that. It’s the kind of thing that shatters the illusion that he’s pulling my strings, making me do as he orders. Fuck that. I can’t wait until Tuesday wh
en I can finally tell him to fuck off.
It’s just three more days until Tuesday, I tell myself as I pass rows of dining tables to get to our table.
Even from a distance, I can tell something is wrong. Emily seems distraught. I knew this meeting wasn't going to go well, but Emily sounded so heartbroken last night I couldn't have possibly said no.
As soon as I silently take my seat, before I have a chance to get an idea of what's happening, Emily asks for the check and excuses herself to go to the restroom, leaving me alone with Alice, who proceeds to glare at me.
I only have one question in my mind: did Alice tell Emily anything?
“Are you out of your mind?” Alice tears into me as soon as Emily is out of earshot.
“Listen, I’m sorry it's—”
“Damn right you're sorry,” she says, cutting me off before I finish my sentence. “You should be ashamed of yourself, taking advantage of a vulnerable girl like that.”
“I think you have the wrong idea. I don't have any intention of taking advantage of Emily. On the contrary, I really care about her. I love her.”
“Yeah? Is that why she has no idea you were involved in the accident?” Alice's eyes grow as big as the oversized plates they use at this pretentious restaurant. She's challenging me.
I'm honestly taken aback by Alice’s protectiveness over Emily. For Emily’s sake, I'm glad she has someone who cares about her to this extent. But at the moment, she’s not making my life any easier.
“Did you tell her?” I ask after a long pause.
This is what I’ve been afraid of. Considering the way Emily avoided eye contact with me and immediately ran to the restroom as soon as I came back, I conclude that Alice has probably told Emily. Which means there's a good chance she won't even talk to me again.
“No,” Alice says while she fidgets with the glass of soda and ice cubes before her.
“Why not?” I ask with surprise.
