by Roh Morgon
My vision turns pinks as my blood ignites into sweet flames.
He tenses, but does not move from the chair.
A growl rumbles from my chest as the beast, accustomed to being in charge, takes over. I leap at him and he meets me halfway, and we collide with a force that knocks us to the floor. I tear wildly at his clothes, ripping fabric and skin, and feel his nails rake my body in answer. Slicing the front of his shirt open, I sink my teeth into the hard muscle of his chest.
He groans, and then he shrugs me off and stands, pulling me up with him. I slash at him again, and he catches my arm, then grabs the other. He shifts them to one hand and pulls my face to his and kisses me savagely, his fangs tearing my lips. I bite down on his mouth, and he growls, then ducks and picks me up, throwing me over his shoulder. He hisses as I claw his back, and I gasp as he sinks his fangs into my thigh. He carries me to the bedroom, turns, and dumps me on the bed.
And then he is on me, grabbing and nipping as I tear at him. He takes hold of my hair, then bends over my face and exposes his throat. I bite down hard, and his blood starts to flow, and I draw it out in strong pulls. His fiery essence explodes through me, filling me with his love and his passion and his yearning. I feel his fangs pierce my shoulder, then he draws me into him, mouthful after mouthful, matching my tempo.
Our rhythm sends us further into ecstasy, and we slowly drown in the euphoria of sharing blood. I feel him inside me, running through my veins and bathing every cell. Completing me. As his lifeblood spreads throughout my body, I slip into the oblivion of total and unending rapture.
május 25., péntek
She has come back to me. There are no words for what I felt when I carried her off the mountain, safe once again in my arms.
She is completely wild, and this time I will not try to tame her. I will let her run free, and will stay by her side no matter where she chooses to run.
Tonight we shared blood, truly shared. But I stopped us short of bonding, because it should be planned and something special that we look forward to. I want us to knowingly embrace each precious moment of that experience. And I want her to be ready, with no doubts, and so I must wait a little longer.
SATURDAY
CHAPTER 55
I wake to find him watching me, his face inches from mine. His eyes are paler green than I’ve ever seen, and there is a thrumming deep in his chest, almost like a purr. I have never known such contentment, and my breath catches as a wave of his love washes through me. It triggers an answer in my blood, and as he feels it, the thrumming gets stronger, and I feel myself humming in response. I close my eyes and revel in the shared vibration of our bodies.
He pulls me to him, and our love is gentle now. I fade away and become part of the we, slipping outside of reality itself.
I feel his fingers tracing paths around my face, and my eyes open as awareness of the outer physical world takes hold.
His emerald eyes are shining as he gazes at me. I reach out to touch his cheek and he kisses my hand, his eyes never leaving mine.
“Thank you for coming back,” he says in a soft voice. “I was not sure you would.”
I wasn’t either.
“The pull on you of that world up the mountain is strong.”
I nod as memories of pine-scented breezes and the music of the forest spring up. The hunter rouses, alert and restless.
And I can see in his eyes that he feels her as well.
He sits up and gets out of the bed, then reaches his hand out. I take it and join him on the floor.
Brushing my hair back from my face, he asks, “Would you like to go for a run?”
I nod again as anticipation ripples through me, and he smiles.
“Then get dressed,” he says. “You can show me where you like to go.”
Elated, I head to the closet and paw through it. I finally pull out a pair of jeans and step into them, trying to ignore the weight of his stare behind me. I stop as my blood begins reacting to the heat in his.
“You’re supposed to be getting dressed, too,” I manage to choke out.
“I enjoy watching you.”
My voice is muffled as I slip a black tank over my head.
“Well, you better hurry. I’m not waiting . . .” I look up to see him standing by his suitcase, fully dressed in a pair of black jeans and a dark green sweater.
“How the hell do you do that?” I ask, amazed as always at how fast he can move.
Rolling my eyes at his smug smile, I shake my head and walk toward the door. He reaches out and grabs my arm as I pass, drawing me to him. I don’t bother resisting.
“It appears I am waiting for you,” he breathes into my hair as his heat hits me again.
“What?” My blood smolders and I shove away from him.
He smirks and glances at my bare feet. “Your shoes?”
“Don’t need them. Are you ready?” I don’t wait for his answer as I head for the back door.
It’s evening and the hunter is impatient. I step outside, filling my lungs with the fresh mountain air, and let her take the lead as usual. With a last glance at Nicolas, I spring across the driveway and set out at a fast clip up the trail.
It feels good to be back outdoors, and I start to lose myself to the wild as I run. His footfalls are close behind, and I increase my speed as we charge up the mountain. Veering off the trail, I leap over brush and downed limbs, and use the scattered boulders for springboards as I weave up the slope. I feel satisfaction at the sound of him pacing me, and sense his thrill as he runs. He catches up, and then we are running parallel, darting and ducking through the forest. I look over at him and grin, exhilarated at our high-speed dance up the mountain, and feel his enthusiasm in response.
We burst through the edge of the tree line and I keep going, Nicolas beside me. I get partway up the bare rocky slope, stop, and turn around.
The Peak is standing tall and noble in the evening sky, and I look over at Nicolas as he gazes at it. I am once again struck by their similarities and feel a rush of pride and love as I watch him. He looks at me and his warmth echoes throughout my body.
He walks over and strokes my hair, then leans down and kisses me. As I respond, he grabs me around the waist and pulls me close. Our veins mutually ignite, and he begins to kiss me harder. I feel his fangs slowly descend, and nipping him on the lip, I break away and sprint up the slope.
He is instantly on my heels, and now our chase has a new element of excitement to it. I reach the crest of the mountain and launch myself over the edge, landing halfway down the rocky slope, then jump again. He is right behind me and I make several more leaps, alighting each time in a spray of gravel and dust.
I hit the forest edge, hurtling over limbs and rocks. His hand brushes my shoulder, and I duck away and scramble up a large pine. I laugh at the feel of his surprise, and as I reach the first large limb, walk out toward its end, then dive for the ground. Twisting to land on a rock some distance away, I push off and leap again.
I feel his amazement and realize that he’s stopped. I pivot and tilt my head, then snarl at him and continue down the slope. Slowing a little, I allow him to catch up, then take off through the forest.
Breaking out of the trees, I head for the small lake at the bottom of the slope. I shrug off my tank as I run, then stop and watch for him. I’m stepping out of my jeans as Nicolas bursts through the trees, and laughing, I sprint for the water. As I reach the rocks at its edge, I launch into a low dive, knifing through the cold surface far from shore. I angle downward, pulling through the water, exalting in its chilly caress. Farther and farther I swim, then pop up to the surface. I fling my dripping hair back and allow the beast to let loose a roar that echoes across the lake.
Nicolas is standing on the shoreline watching, his admiration flooding through me. I close my eyes and focus on wanting him, here, now, and open them to see him stripping. I crank up the heat, and he catapults from the beach, slicing into the water halfway from the rocky shore.
; I radiate my warmth and can feel his getting nearer. I wait, my blood thrilling, and he slides up the front of me and explodes through the surface. Before I can swim away, he grabs me, wrapping his body around mine. We sink, and so do his fangs, right above my breast. I catch his upper arm and bury my teeth in it.
The twin sensations of each other’s hot blood threading through our veins is a delicious contrast to the icy cold water slipping past our skins as we fall to the bottom.
Bellies down, we lie next to each other on a flat boulder at the edge of the lake. The three-quarter moon reflects across the water, its light dancing on the restless surface. The breezes weave through the pines and the trees sing their songs for all who care to listen.
Nicolas reaches over and strokes my hair.
“You killed your bear.”
I look at him with raised eyebrows.
“I recognized the smell of his blood on you.”
Oh. Guess he would. It’s not the first time he’s found me covered in it.
But at least it wasn’t mixed with mine this time.
“As I watched you in the forest today, I realized you are more than capable of handling anything out here.”
I feel his admiration again and respond with gratitude at his acknowledgment.
“Can I ask how you did it? How you killed him?” The curiosity shining in his eyes floats through me.
“I, uh . . .” I pause, trying to gather the words. Thinking and speaking still seems difficult, especially when I am out here in the wild, the wild that is trying to lure me to stay.
I take a breath and begin again.
“I made him angry and he got reckless. He was bleeding—a lot—when I finally led him up a tree. He climbed until he was tired and weak from loss of blood. I kept egging him on, and he kept climbing until he couldn’t hang on any longer. He fell.”
“And was your vengeance satisfying?”
“Yes. And no. His blood was the first that quieted my hunger.” I pause, remembering. “But I didn’t feel good about his death, or at least how he died. I realized he was just a dumb creature acting purely out of instinct, and I had so many advantages over him that he had little chance.”
“Do not downplay his abilities. He almost killed you the first time you met.” The anguish in his voice that is there every time we talk about it is now matched by that in his blood, and I shudder.
But the bear is no more. It’s time to put all that behind us.
“How . . . how did you know I was up on the trail when you found me?” Hazy memories of drowning in sleep and tears thankfully dim the echoes of my chaotic emotions.
The combination of his agony and relief is not muted, though, and I quiver inside with its rawness as he answers.
“I felt you up there. I have been feeling you for the last two days.”
My God. How we’ve both suffered.
I reach out and take his hand. His fingers stroke mine as we stare out across the moonlit water. He sends a warm serenity through me, and squeezing his hand in appreciation, I continue.
“I don’t understand how you could’ve felt me. You said I was gone a month. I thought the effects of the blood didn’t last that long.”
He reaches over and softly brushes the tip of my nose with his finger.
“You forget I felt you the first time you came into my city. Your energy signature is quite unique and very strong. And it is even stronger now than it was then.”
That was nearly two months ago. I think about everything that’s happened since that day, since I first saw him. How every time things between us seem perfect, something tears us apart.
I roll away onto my side and lean on my elbow, frowning as my mood darkens again.
“You said we needed time away from each other. Why’d you change your mind so soon?”
The same evening I left, as I recall from my dream that wasn’t a dream.
His expression shifts to neutral, but he can’t hide the pain and regret in his blood.
“You . . . have quite an ally in Éva. She reminded me how volatile the emotions are when one is Changing, and threatened to tear off my head if I did not regain my senses and go to you.”
My eyebrows arch in surprise.
Éva. Huh.
“But her words mattered little. Because I realized after you were gone that I would rather have you driving me insane than live with the emptiness you left inside me.” His voice catches and his despair explodes through my veins.
I close my eyes and lie back down on my stomach as I fight to suppress my own memories of hollowness and loss.
His fingers trace the scars across my back as his warmth and reassurance drift through me, forcing away our mutual pain. I mirror his feelings, and we lie there on the rock, bathing in the moonlight and each other.
After a while, I remember something else I’ve wanted to ask him.
“You were at my house the whole time?”
“Yes.”
“Didn’t you go home to get clothes, and, well, to feed?”
His mouth quirks and he shakes his head.
“No. After a few days, Éva packed my suitcase and brought it to me. She was concerned that I would continue to wear the same clothes until they were rags. Not unlike someone else I know.” His eyes glint in amusement.
I smile. I’d gone far enough wild to give them up completely if I’d stayed out here much longer.
But then I frown as I think about the second part of my question.
“What did you live on?”
“I hunted.”
“Animals? Deer?”
“And the occasional elk.”
I roll back onto my side and look at him in surprise, then laugh.
“I wondered why there was such a scarcity of game as I got closer to home.”
He grimaces.
“And how was that?” I ask with a smirk.
“A bit disgusting at first, and never satisfying. But it kept me from starving. I became somewhat used to it.”
“Yeah. I had a similar experience. But the last week or so the hunger did seem to ease a bit after feeding. I think with more time I might be able to adjust back to my regular diet.”
He opens his mouth to respond, then closes it in a silence that is matched by my own.
Oh Nicolas. You don’t need to say it. I feel your revulsion, and it’s doubtful you could ever adjust. You’ve been on your diet for far too long. You will never change. And I accept that.
I gaze out over the water, and then remember the one thing that did relieve my hunger.
“Except for the bear. That came close to quenching the hunger entirely, and killed the fire in my veins. I felt quite satisfied after taking him.”
“Perhaps that was because you had tasted his blood before, and the hunger always wants to finish what it started. Or possibly because he was a predator, not unlike humans.”
Hmm.
“But I do not like the idea of you adding bear to your menu. I would ask you to promise not to, but I see how well you kept your last promise regarding bears.” His wry smile fades.
Defiance flashes through me and the hunter tenses in rebellion. I grab on to her stillness and feel his surprise, then nothing as I block out all emotion, both his and mine.
I sit up and glare at him.
“I am not the same as I was then.”
“No. You are not.” He frowns, then regards me thoughtfully.
And then I ask him the question that has been eating at me since the beginning.
“So how do you like this me? The one with the mountains and the forest in her blood?”
The one that learned how to live without you.
“Or do you prefer the one that walks beside you, feeds beside you, when we are in your world?”
The one that could not say no to you.
He purses his lips and takes a deep breath.
“I prefer the one who doesn’t shut me out, no matter where she is or what she feeds on.”
There is
sorrow and pain in his voice, and I relent and let him back in. The rush of his twisting emotions sickens me.
He tightens his jaw and says, “Please . . . do not do that. It is an agonizing punishment, and one that should not be used lightly. Do you not remember the day you left?”
I remember when he shut me off, and the hole that opened up in me that day, nearly swallowing me into complete blackness.
“Yes,” I whisper, forcing back tears.
“It is far more powerful now that we are nearly bonded. We came much closer to complete exchange last night, and I barely had enough presence of mind to stop us. We need to learn to respect each other, now, before we bond, or the consequences will be devastating to both of us.”
“What do you mean? What consequences?”
“Once bonded, any . . . disharmony . . . is extremely painful and can be somewhat incapacitating. And a complete break of the bond can sometimes result in the final death of one or both. This is something I planned to speak with you about before I formally ask you to bond.”
Oh.
He leans over and touches my jaw with the back of his hand.
“And I have not yet asked because you have not been ready to consider such a decision. There is still much you need to learn about Chosen life, and it did not seem fair to bring you into it unprepared.” His emerald eyes are soft, and a fresh wave of his love courses through my veins.
“I would bond with you this very moment if it were entirely up to me. But it is not, and only you can decide when you are ready. Until then, we should use this time to grow accustomed to each other’s feelings. And to learn how to talk with one another when we do not agree.”
Part of me feels a little resentful about being lectured, but I know he’s right.
Amusement tugs at his lips. “And I will try to offer explanations in a way that does not make you feel like a schoolgirl.”
Embarrassment flickers through me at being caught reacting like that schoolgirl. I laugh out loud and climb down off the rock.
“Then I will try not to behave like one.”
Walking to the edge of the water, I collect his clothes and toss them to him, then retrieve my own.
