I let out a sigh of relief, feeling a strange twinge of regret settle deep in my chest. Andrew was my best friend. Nothing more. We had promised one another a long time ago that we would never go down that road, and we weren't going to. I took a deep breath and let it out, trying to get the regret out of my lungs. It hung like a mist under the blanket, so I threw off the blanket, letting the sun dispel the rest. Things always felt better in the sunshine.
Sure. I have this weekend off anyway. We'll have fun!
I tossed the phone on my bed, deciding that I needed a shower. A shower and coffee. I started thinking of the Winter Carnival. I imagined the possibilities that could happen if this went well for Audrey and Ray. Would Audrey wear a white wedding dress? I thought mint green would be better for a second marriage, but she would look beautiful in pink. I felt better thinking about them than ruminating on my past. I wanted to leave my past as far behind me as possible. I grinned as I wrote the date down on my calendar and went to start the water.
Chapter 5
Smoke trickled into the sky, blotting out the stars. A young mother smelled smoke, cradling her child closer to her breast. Two teens stopped their kissing to wonder why the sky seemed darker. A father checked on his young son, sleeping soundly in his bed, his brow pushed together as he worried for his family. A car stopped on the side of the road, flames reflecting in the dark windows. The light of a phone lit the interior, the cry for help beginning.
I put on my warm winter boots and my nice hunter green wool pea coat. I decided that I wanted to look pretty, even if it meant I wasn't quite as warm as if I wore my heavy winter coat.
"You look nice," my dad said watching me as I put on a hat and scarf.
"Thanks, Daddy. Can you hand me my bag?"
"Sure. You're going out with Andrew tonight, right? When are you thinking you'll be home?" Dad asked nonchalantly. Since I had come home he had been trying hard not to slip back into his protective ways; I really appreciated him letting me be an adult even though I was living at home. It was hard on him, but luckily I didn't do much other than work nowadays.
"Yes, I'm keeping Andrew company. We'll be home whenever Mrs. Miller and Mr. West decide that they want to come home. I'll call if we're going to be later than ten," I said smiling at him as he handed me my bag. He smiled but I could see a curtain of worry cover his face.
"I guess if Audrey and Ray are with you, you won't get into much trouble," he said slowly.
"I think it is Mr. West and Mrs. Miller that you need to worry about getting into trouble," I winked at him. He laughed, but the ever present worry never left his eyes. I could see Andrew pull up in the driveway, so I kissed Dad on the cheek and headed out the door. Audrey was already in the backseat, so I took the front and waved to my dad in the window as we pulled out. Luke's house was next, and we had barely turned into the driveway when Ray opened the door.
He looked handsome. I had known him for most of my life, but I had never actually realized that he was an attractive man. He was always just Luke and Tyler's dad, a fixture in their home and the shop; much like no one ever looks at their doorknobs, no one ever looks at them, they just know that they are always there.
Ray had gotten his blonde hair cut in a military style that accented his jawline and cheekbones, making his hazel eyes look bigger and brighter than I remembered. I had never even really noticed the color of his eyes before, but today, they caught my attention. He was grinning from ear to ear as he slid into the seat next to Audrey.
The two of them made sure there was an appropriate distance between them, but I could see them casting glances and giggling in the rear-view mirror. It was like watching two teenagers in the back of their parent's car trying not to get noticed. I looked over at Andrew and he just rolled his eyes and started backing out of the driveway. In order to ignore the blatant flirting and giggling in the backseat I turned on the radio. Elton John's "Your Song" blared out of the speakers.
"It's our song!" Audrey and Ray cried from the backseat. Andrew and I exchanged glances as they began to sing along with the lyrics. I was glad when it ended, other than the fact that the two of the began making lovey noises in the backseat.
"Don't make me come back there. I want to see hands," Andrew growled at them glancing in the backseat.
"Isn't that our line?" Ray asked as they both held up their hands. Audrey giggled.
A few minutes later, Audrey had her face plastered against the window. "Oh there's the lake! It's so pretty! I haven't been out here since Andrew was a little boy," she squealed from the backseat. I marveled at how she could sound like a mother and like an excited child at the same time.
We pulled into the main lot, showing the attendant our tickets. He waved us to a spot near the edge of the lot. Ray hopped out of the car, running around to open the door for Audrey, an exaggerated bow as he held it open. She giggled, and curtseyed, her eyes shining with amusement.
"Alright you two kids," Andrew began with mock seriousness. "We will meet back here at 9pm. If you are going to be late, call or text. If I don't get either and it is past 9, you are both grounded for a week." Audrey and Ray laughed like little kids before agreeing and running off towards the ice skating area.
Andrew shook his head watching them, then turned to me. "Well, what should we do while we wait for the little love birds?"
"Spy on them," I responded looking as innocent as possible. He grinned and tapped his fingers under his chin like an evil villain, giving a laugh fit for a black and white movie. I laughed and we headed towards the Lake House.
The lake was beautiful. It had snowed for the first time in weeks the night before and the world was a winter wonderland. The frozen lake stretched out under snow covered hills, evergreen trees standing like silent observers dressed in white. A large log cabin style building gazed out at the plowed lake, the windows glowing cheerfully and welcoming visitors inside. Small figures glided and danced on across the silver lake, joyful shrieks filling the air.
I could see Audrey and Ray lacing up their skates at the edge of the skating area, the two of them laughing and joking like lovestruck teenagers. They looked so young and carefree as they wobbled out onto the ice.
Andrew and I stood on the deck of the Lake House, watching the two adults play on the ice. Ray tried to show off and skate backwards, slipping and falling onto his butt. Audrey inched toward him, unsteady on her skates until she reached him. She stuck out her hand to help him up, but when he grabbed it, instead of pulling himself up, he pulled her down on top of them. She shrieked with mock anger, running her hand along the ice and tossing the small snow crystals at his face. Ray's baritone laugh boomed across the lake as he got up and helped her back to her feet. She looked up at him in adoration as he took her hand and worked her back out onto the ice, making sure she was steady on her feet as they moved forward.
"She looks so happy," I murmured, glancing over at Andrew. He was leaning up against the railing, his blue eyes focused on the skating couple on the ice. The wind ruffled his hair, his cheeks bright from the cold.
"She told me she was furious when she first saw Ray at the restaurant," he said, looking out at them."She said she has avoided him ever since Dad died because she didn't want to feel something he couldn't return. She thought he was happy with Barb and she didn't want to get in the way of that. She thought not seeing him would spare everyone heartache. When she heard he was divorced, she felt like she had a second chance." He turned towards me, his eyes catching mine and refusing to let go. "Thank you, Holly, for giving her that."
I blushed and looked at my boots on the wooden deck, his praise warming me down to my toes. "It wasn't just me, you know. You and Luke have just as much to do with this as I did. I don't deserve credit for this. Honestly, your mom and Ray deserve the credit- they're the ones doing all the hard work."
"This is the happiest I have seen her since Dad died. I caught her singing while she made dinner last night, and she only called me at work twice to make sure I was alright," Andrew sa
id, his eyes watching them again.
A woman in a fur trimmed coat bumped into me, pushing me against Andrew. He caught me easily, his hands strong on my arms, his body solid against mine. I looked up and his blue eyes twinkled back at me as he helped me back to my feet. His eyes made the blue sky seem dull in comparison and I knew I could get lost in them. The woman apologized and continued on her way, but I could still feel his heat through my coat. I blushed and smoothed my coat, both of us laughing at the near accident.
"You want some cocoa? They make the best stuff here," he offered, running a glove through his hair. I nodded and he disappeared into the house, weaving in and out of the growing crowd.
I turned back to the lake, my breath frosting the air. The sun was starting to set, turning the fresh snow a golden red as it pulled the blanket of mountains up over its head. Below me on a second tier of the deck, a bonfire popped and crackled, the smoke rising gently into the darkening sky. I watched the dark tendrils fade into the oncoming twilight, feeling peaceful.
A murmur rose from the crowd as lights turned on over the ice. They had placed colored lights around the skating areas, making the ice and snow light up like a fairy land. The house behind me streamed out a warm, welcoming light towards the lake, beckoning cold skaters in from the cold.
I could see Audrey and Ray, hand in hand making slow circles on the lake. They projected a happiness I didn't know was possible. I wondered what had driven them apart so long ago; watching them fall in love for the second time was like getting to watch magic. I didn't know how it was happening, but I didn't want to take my eyes away from it for a second.
"Hot chocolate for the lady," Andrew's voice cutting through my thoughts. I turned and took the hot Styrofoam cup in my hands, breathing in its aroma. Chocolate, frost, and pine smoke all mixed in a delicious medley that would forever remind me of winter in the mountains.
The crowd was beginning to grow on the deck, and it pushed Andrew and me together. I could feel him against me, steady and strong as waves of people moved across the deck. This close to him, I could smell his cologne. He had always smelled good to me, the cologne the same he wore since high school. It was something his dad had picked out for him after catching him with the junk the other high school boys were wearing. He smelled like clear water with just a hint of musk, masculine and strong. Whenever I smelled it, I thought of him.
"The lady at the counter said there is supposed to be fireworks tonight," he said sipping on his cup. He pointed up to the clear sky where stars were starting to twinkle. "Good night for it."
"You think our lovebirds will even notice?" I said as I gestured towards the lake.
"I think they are already seeing fireworks," he grinned at me. I looked back out to the lake, but I could no longer find the happy couple. "Where'd they go?"
"They were there a minute ago. What time is it?" I glanced at my watch to see over an hour had gone by without me noticing it. Andrew had that effect on me. "The wine tasting has started. You want to go skate?"
"Let's eat first. I saw one of those foodie trucks on the other side of the building when I got the hot chocolate. It smelled delicious," he suggested. I nodded and we began working our way through the crowd towards the truck.
We stood in line for a couple of minutes, the smell of hamburgers and bacon filling our thoughts. When we finally got our food, we found a quiet spot off a snowbank and sat devouring the tasty meal. We sat in the snow joking and laughing until my feet felt numb. Andrew stood first, offering a hand to help me stand.
"Ready to skate? I remember you used to be pretty good," he said with a grin.
"If by good, you mean that I have a lot of skill at falling on my butt properly, then yeah, I'm pretty good," I said dusting the snow off my coat. He laughed and we headed back to the lake, stopping at the Lake House to pick up skates.
I was worse than I remembered. Within putting my skates on and taking two steps, I was down on my backside with tears in my eyes from the impact. Andrew smiled apologetically at me as he skated perfectly to my side, giving me his hand to get up. I stood up slowly, splaying my legs like a colt just learning to walk, refusing to let go of his hand. He pulled me in close to him, his body giving me balance.
"You can do this, just glide across the ice. One foot out, good, now push and move the other," he coached gently. His breath was warm on my cheek, and I had to force myself to concentrate on the ice rather than how wonderful he smelled, on how well his hands fit in mine, the way his voice sounded. I couldn't go down that road. I moved slowly, awkwardly across the ice, my legs sluggishly learning the motion. Even as I started moving across the ice more smoothly, I held his hand. In his hand was safety.
We skated the circle once, and I was feeling more confident in my ability to at least stay standing. I let go of his hand, ready to try it on my own, and pushed out ahead of him. I glanced over my shoulder, grinning at my independence, his returning smile making me blush.
I tried my best to skate gracefully, making it almost the full circle before stumbling on my skates. I felt the pit of my stomach rise up into my throat as my hands flailed at the air, my legs slipping out from under me. I never hit the ground. Andrew caught me before I fell, his arms wrapping around me and keeping me up when I was sure I was going to fall. He held me, my legs finding their way back underneath me but my knees turning to jelly. He smelled so good.
"Well, I'll let the hockey team know that you won't be ready this season, but maybe next year," he joked, holding me for a moment longer than necessary before letting me go. My heart fluttered in my chest, and I was glad it was dark enough he couldn't see the blush burning on my cheeks.
"I think I'm done for a little while. Besides, the fireworks are supposed to start soon," I said trying to regain my composure. I knew if I stayed out on the ice with him, I would fall on purpose just so he would catch me.
"Yeah, um. I'd like to do a couple laps. How about you go get us a spot? I'll come find you," he said quickly, not waiting for me to answer before taking off. I looked after him perplexed. I shook my head as I slowly stepped my way back to return my skates. I could see him zooming around the ice, going faster and faster, but always in control.
After returning my skates and getting my boots back on, I found a spot on the deck big enough for two against the railing. It was only a couple of minutes before Andrew found me, his cheeks red from the cold. He leaned against the railing, his breath frosting the night sky as we waited for the fireworks to start. I rubbed my hands up and down my arms, regretting my choice of jacket. Now that the sun had set, and I wasn't moving, I was getting cold.
Andrew's brows pushed together for a moment as he watched me, then with a shake of his head, he moved behind me and wrapped his arms around me. The heat was instantaneous and not just from his arms. His cologne filled my nostrils, his body strong and warm behind me. I knew I should break away, to just deal with the cold rather than let myself feel these feelings stirring within me, but I couldn't. I wanted to be close to him, I wanted to feel him touch me.
The lights in the Lake House dimmed and slowly turned off, the dark enveloping us. I looked up to the sky, feeling his breath on my neck. The stars twinkled in the clear sky, constellations and planets dancing their eternal dance. A splash of light lit the sky, followed by another and another. Colors exploded against the stars, streaming fire from the sky. The crowed oohed and ahhed as the night sky filled with color.
I barely noticed the colors streaming from the sky, my attention on Andrew. His arms held me tight, his warmth seeping into me and making my body ache for something I knew I could never have. I let myself believe for a moment, one beautiful moment, that this could work. That we could be more than friends. That I could kiss him, touch him, have him. That I could surrender myself to him and not be afraid of the consequences.
The sky was aflame with color for a glorious instant, then only streams of sparkling smoke and twinkling stars remained. The booms still echoed through the night, a rol
ling thunder following the man made lightning. I turned my head slowly, feeling Andrew's breath along my cheek. His lips were so close to mine, I could almost feel them. I wanted to taste those lips, red and open just centimeters from mine. He leaned in closer.
His lips were soft against mine. I wanted to merge into him, to never leave this moment. He tasted sweet, like cocoa and sunshine. My heart thudded with happy excitement and I pressed in closer.
The lights in the Lake house turned on, flooding the deck with artificial light. The moment was broken, and Andrew dropped his hands quickly to his sides, releasing me. In the harsh light, I couldn't believe I had kissed him. I pulled my hat down low on my head, feeling my cheeks burn. I couldn't look at him, and instead put my hands on the balcony, hoping he didn't see how badly they shook.
The crowd dispersed on the deck, leaving the two of us standing awkwardly looking out at the lake. I fidgeted with my scarf, trying to figure out what to say. Andrew's phone chimed, saving both of us from having to speak first.
"Mom says they are at the car. They'll meet us there at nine," he read from his phone. I nodded looking at my watch. If we walked slowly, we would reach the car just at nine. I stuck my hands in my pockets and suggested we head towards the car. Andrew agreed and we starting walking, the silence uncomfortable between us. The snow squeaked under my boots as we searched for the car, the lights of the Lake House far away.
"Holly, I..." Andrew started, but as I turned to look at him he stopped with a confused look on his face. "That's just gross."
I spun to see what he was looking at, and at first all I saw was the car. With the windows fogged. And a hand print on the back windshield.
"I hope that's the only part of Titanic they are recreating," I said slowly. Andrew snorted and we inched slowly to the car, Andrew hanging back as we got close. I decided to be the bold one, and marched over to the car, knocking on the window.
I heard voices shushing and giggling as I waited. A moment later the window rolled down, and I could see Audrey and Ray in the backseat. Ray had lipstick smeared across his cheek and on his collar. Audrey's shirt was on backwards. I gave my best disapproving look, and walked around to the passenger side door. Andrew and I slid into the car, turning the defroster on high to clear the windows. Audrey and Ray kept whispering in the backseat, Ray's arm wrapped protectively around her.
Fire Always Burns Page 5
