by Katie Dowe
“Space to do what?”
“To get our own things done.” She blinked, wondering if he was seeing someone else. He had not made a commitment to her so she had no idea what was happening.
Coretta snorted indelicately. “Don’t let him do that to you.”
“We are not committed to each other, Coretta.”
“Honey, knowing you as I do, you are already committed to the guy.”
Latoya hung up the phone knowing that her friend was right. She was not like Coretta and never would be like her. Coretta and others she knew were able to treat sex very casually. She was not able to do that. She was falling in love with a man she had just met two months ago and it sounded ridiculous! She had never met the rest of his family and by all intents and purposes she did not know much about him! She was sitting here in her apartment pining over him and not able to function fully because he had said he would not be able to see her!
She bit her lip and went to try and prepare something to eat, her heart not into it!
*****
He was not writing. He had told her he needed to sort some things out and had seen the disappointment on her face when he had said that but he had needed space from her. The emotions she evoked in him were crowding him and confusing him too much. He had sat in his makeshift office and tried to get some writing done but he was not able to concentrate. He was thinking of her too much. They made love often with a passion that burned hot and intense! It would have been good if he was looking for long term, but he was not.
He looked at the words he had written and hummed them to himself: “Just looking at you sitting there with that sad expression on your face makes me want to shield you from all the wrongs of the world/Girl, I want to protect you from everything that is wrong and give you happiness untold/Take my hand and let us dance into the sunset! Give me your all and I promise that it will always be this good.”
He frowned a little bit and then went over to the piano to try out some keys. He welcomed the sound of the phone ringing and thinking that it was her he answered it immediately. But it was Lance, his best friend who lived in Texas. “How is the writing?”
“I am thinking of scrapping it and taking up lawyering,” Mark said with a humorless smile. “How goes the cattle business?”
“Very good. I am actually making a ton of money out here. Why don’t you come and join me? The big wide open space might just do it for you.”
“Aren’t you afraid that I might seduce Lola into leaving you and coming to me?”
“Not a chance. She is totally devoted to me and besides she is now pregnant with our third child,” he said smugly.
“You are the man!” Mark said with a laugh. “Congratulations.”
“Thanks, man. I have not seen you in three years. Why don’t you come on out?”
Mark was tempted but then his mind flashed to Latoya and he shook his head. “I will let you know.”
He hung up the phone and thought about calling her but changed his mind. He had work to do!
Chapter 4
He called two days after and invited her out to dinner. Latoya thought about refusing his invitation for a moment and then decided against it. She needed to see him so badly that she was dreaming about him. “Where?” Her tone was cool.
“The park,” he surprised her by saying. “I thought we could have a picnic.”
Latoya was silent for a moment as she tried to assimilate what he had just said. It was things like this that made her fall in love with him. “The park?”
“It’s a beautiful day and it’s going to be a beautiful evening. I have been cooped up inside the apartment for the past couple of days and I am beginning to catch the color of the walls. I thought I could spread a blanket near the trees and enjoy nature and each other.”
She was so pathetically happy that he had not been seeing anyone else that she almost cried. He had been working all along! “It sounds lovely.”
“Good, then it’s a date.”
“What can I bring?”
“Just your beautiful self.” He hesitated briefly. “I have missed you.”
She closed her eyes and felt her body tremble at his tone and his words. “I missed you too.”
“See you later.”
She forgot about work for a whole ten minutes as she pictured them lying together on the blanket and she with her head on his muscled shoulder with his arms around her. She blinked as the intercom sounded. “Latoya, would you come to the office right now please?”
With a frown on her brow, she hastily complied wondering if she had forgotten to include some important document for him to take to court. She nodded to the receptionist who was just going to the copier and made her way into the large but untidy office of Alfred Gaston.
“Is something wrong?” she asked the minute she got there, fervently hoping that he was not telling her to work over later. She would have to refuse!
“Have a seat.” He waved an age-spotted hand at her as he peered at a document in front of him. She waited patiently, determined not to be anxious. He looked up finally and smiled at her, his wrinkled face looking almost attractive and his light blue eyes twinkling. “You are not in trouble, my dear. Far from it.”
She almost heaved a sigh of relief. “Good to know.”
“You are a very hard worker.” He tapped the folder in his hand. “And very thorough. I still think you should go to law school. You would make a very good lawyer.”
“I am okay the way I am,” she told him with a polite smile. She had never confided in anyone at the office about her money troubles preferring to keep it to herself and deal with in her own time and way.
He looked at her closely admiring her cool and quiet composure. She was a dedicated employee and he would never like to lose her. “We are close to winning the case and it has a lot to do with you, my dear.”
“I am glad.”
“So am I. Mr. Bidders and I have decided that it is time to give you a raise.”
Latoya looked at him in shock! She had been hoping for an increase in her salary for the past year but had not dared to ask. “A raise?”
“Yes.” He smiled at her. “Thirty percent and a bonus for the work you have done so far on this case. We are also going to give you a bonus every time your research brings us a win.”
She swallowed and her hands gripped each other. Thirty percent increase and a bonus! It would mean a big dip in paying off her student loan and her mother’s medical bills. It could mean springing for that black dress she had seen at the mall and the pedicure she had been putting off because she did not have to money for frivolities!
“What do you say?” She looked up dazed at the question realizing that she had zoned out for a little bit.
“I say thank you to you and Mr. Bidders very much,” she whispered.
“You are welcome, my dear. It’s effective the end of the month.”
“Thank you, Mr. Gaston. I really appreciate it.”
“I know you do and you deserve it. Now leave me to do some work and call Judge Harrison for me. That man is dragging his feet. He owes me a game of cards.” He winked at her as she left.
She floated into her tiny office and stood there looking around. Things were looking up for her! For the first time in a very long time things were going great! She had a man who made her feel like the most desirable woman in the world and now she was getting an increase in pay and a bonus. She went to her desk and sat in her chair, her knees trembling. Finally, something worth celebrating!
*****
She stopped at the corner store and bought a bottle of Merlot. She knew he was probably bringing wine, but she had felt the need to bring it. It should have been champagne but her pocket could not quite reach to the brand she would have liked or rather the ones she had seen in his small wine cellar but it would have to do.
She did not hurry home to change but went straight from the office. She had worn light cotton pants in a rich blue color and a light pink top. Her shoes would
have to do. They were flat and serviceable and very comfortable. He had already spread the blanket when she got there and the large wicker picnic basket was already open. It was a little past six but it was still light out. The park was scanty with only a few lovers out for a stroll. He was wearing denims and grey t-shirt. His jacket was placed beside him. His hair was tousled and he looked carefree and relaxed. Her heart skipped a beat as she stared at him. He must have felt her eyes on his because he turned then and looked at her. She smiled and continued on her way to him. “I hope you have not started without me.” She got down on the blanket in one graceful movement.
He did not answer but reached around the back of her head and brought her face close to his. He took her lips with his in a kiss that stole her breath and heated her blood. Every bit of despair she had felt about not seeing him melted away as she sagged against him, her mouth beneath his. Mark felt himself hardening, his heart thundering inside his chest as his tongue tangled with hers. He was very close to taking her right here on the blanket with the rest of the people walking by and not giving a damn! With a supreme effort of self-control, he dragged his mouth away from hers, his hand still gripping her head. “What you do to me,” he said hoarsely as he moved away from her. “You brought wine.” His eyes strayed to the bottle in her hand.
She nodded still unable to speak, her body trembling and her heart racing.
“I also brought wine. A perfectly good bottle of Cabernet. Are you trying to get me drunk so you can have your way with me?” he asked her teasingly.
“I have something to celebrate.” She took a deep breath to get her flesh under control. She told him about her increase.
“We do have something to celebrate.” He opened the bottle of wine she had brought and took two paper cups out of the basket, pouring the wine into them. “Forgive the lack of wine glasses,” he told her with a charming grin as he passed the cup to her.
“Forgiven.” She took it with a smile.
“I brought a ham and cheese sandwich and BLT. What’s your choice?’
“Ham and cheese, please.” She looked around and saw that they were basically alone except for an old man sitting a far distance on one of the benches with a paperback novel and a magnifying glass held over it. “I have not been here in a very long time,” she murmured.
“I figured it is a nice day so we should not spend it cooped up in some restaurant.”
“I like it,” she murmured as she ate.
“So, what do you intend to do with your newfound wealth?” he asked her after a while.
“I figured I would splurge and buy myself a Corvette and maybe a mansion on a hill,” she teased.
He did not laugh as she expected him to but asked her instead, “Money is important to you?”
She shrugged. “Money is important to everyone. I have debts to pay and I hate to owe, especially the state. My mother’s medical bills are still there to be paid so yes, money is important to me.”
He stared at her for a moment and then looked away. “My mother was a Supreme Court judge but she did not do it for the money, she loved and believed in the justice system and was always fair. I on the other hand went into it to make money, but I got disillusioned by the corruption and found that I did not have the stomach to continue so I left. I made quite a bit and am now living off it. I want to make it big in the music industry. I want to write songs that will change the way people envision love and life. I want to write soundtracks for movies that will change the world, but so far I am not doing so. I hate mediocre and I am not prepared to settle for it.” Latoya stared at the handsome complex man next to her and wondered if there was any hope that he would ever fall in love with someone like her. She recognized his mother’s name. They were a middle class family and she was – well, they had not exactly been dirt poor but there had been challenges.
“I believe you can do it,” she told him softly.
He turned his head and looked at her. “So do I.” He smiled suddenly and then reached over to wipe a few crumbs from her lips. “Let’s enjoy this, shall we?”
And they did! Latoya had never enjoyed a date so much. She found herself relaxing with him and shedding the usual problems of being nervous around him. He made her forget herself and laugh and he had a habit of making fun of even the slightest thing. She found herself wondering breathlessly if he was going to suggest that they go back to his apartment, and when he did, she almost exhaled sharply, so happy she was that he had extended the invitation. If only he could see how much she wanted to give him everything!
*****
It was the middle of October when he spoke to Sally, his agent. “They need something more edgy, Mark,” she said in an apologetic tone. “I am sorry.”
“Who made the decision?’
“The directors for the film. They are going ahead with another song writer.” She hesitated a moment and then continued. “You know I have always been honest with you. I am not telling you to give up because you have a great amount of talent, but I am telling you to dig deeper and come up with the heart of it.”
“You are telling me to give my soul,” Mark told her grimly.
“Sometimes that is what it takes. You have some good material here, darling, but you need more depth.”
“Just what a guy needs to hear,” he said with a tinge of bitterness.
“Keep at it, darling.”
He hung up from her and sat staring at the burgundy wall paper in his makeshift office, his expression pensive and defeated. She had told him to keep at it, but it was easier said than done. He had given himself time and now it was running out. His mind drifted towards Latoya. He was aware that she was falling in love with him and expected him to reciprocate, but even though he was passionate about her when they made love and he loved talking to her, he was just not ready. He was in a place where it was not conducive to have a relationship. He hated that he was eventually going to have to tell her so! With a sigh, he got up from around the desk and went to the kitchen to get something to eat.
*****
He was moody and taciturn when she saw him later that evening. She had such high hopes that they were going to work out and he was going to come to see that they were really good together! She was getting tired of skirting around the issues of whether or not he felt the same way about her. When they were making love he lost control with her taking her up and over the edge!
“How about we order Chinese?” she asked as soon as she had changed out of her work clothes and put on one of his t-shirts. She had tentatively left some of her stuff at his apartment, but she loved the feel of his shirt against her bare skin and the smell of him on them.
“Whatever you want,” he said without even looking up at her. She had come home and found him sitting in his office and staring at nothing.
She stood in the doorway wondering if she should push it. Then with a sudden decision she walked into the room and sat on the side of the desk near to him. “Hi.”
He looked up at her, his amazing eyes causing a stir deep inside her. “Hi.”
“I know I am not some music expert, but I have heard the songs you have written and they have touched my heart. I know you wish that things will start happening now, but sometimes these things take time for a reason. I believe in you, Mark, and I know you are going to make it.”
He leaned back in his chair and looked at her in amusement. “Is that so?”
She squirmed a little bit at his insolent expression. “I believe in you,” she repeated. “I just want you to come out of the slump you are in and let us enjoy each other.”
“It is all black and white to you, isn’t it?” he asked her mildly as he pushed away from his desk and got to his feet. He went over to the window to look out below. The time had changed and the cold weather had started. Very soon it would be December and he was going to have to think about going back to something he never liked. He felt her behind him and stiffened.
“You are wrong,” she told him quietly. She wrapped her
hands around his waist and held on even though he remained rigid. She put her head against his back. “I see things in color as well. I look at you and see someone who is going to become bigger than you even expect. You are very talented and you are a perfectionist. That is part of your problem and it is going to become part of what drives you to be the best you can be.”
He turned around then and looked down at her. She had unpinned her hair from the usual neat chignon she did when going to work and the soft strands drifted onto her shoulders and around her face. Her face was scrubbed of makeup and she looked more like a teenager than anything else. His hands framed her face and he bent his head towards her. “Thanks,” he whispered as he took her lips with his. He reached beneath the shirt she was wearing and drifted over her bare flesh feeling the warmth of her skin. He stepped back a little to pull the shirt over her head, his hands reaching for her nipples. Latoya cried out softly as he bent to take a nipple inside his mouth pulling it between his teeth. His fingers were busy going into the elastic band of her lacy black panties and peeling them off. She stepped out of them, her body shuddering as he reached between her legs to touch her mound. His fingers sought and dipped into her wetness, thrusting into her with rapid movements. She opened her legs wider to accommodate him, her back arched. He lifted her up against him and without stopping he went towards the desk placing her onto the surface. He released her but just to hurriedly divest of his clothes. He held his pulsating penis in his hand and guided it inside her. Latoya braced up onto her elbows, her lips parted and her body trembling from the emotions. He slid into her going in deep and wrapped her legs around his waist. He gritted his teeth as the tightness wrapped around him and with a cry of surrender he plunged into her!
He waited until she was sleeping later that night before he got up and went back to the office. He had grabbed a robe and pulled it over his nakedness before leaving the room. He stood there at his desk and ran his palm over the rich mahogany wood. He had taken her right here on the desk. It sounded so clichéd, he thought with a grim smile but he had ravished her right on top of the desk, sinking his penis deep inside her. When he had finished and they had come tumultuously, he had bent before her and used his tongue to drink from her, their mingled juice tasting funny to him. She had flooded his mouth again, her husky cries echoing around the silent room, her hands clenched into fists. He knew his expertise when it came to women and had known it for a long time and had had no qualms about using it, but it was the first time he had been caught up in the snare of it. With an impatient sigh, he strode over to the window to look out at the darkened landscape. How was he going to tell her what he had decided? How was she going to take it? With a deep growl, he pressed his forehead against the chill window and closed his eyes.
