by M. R. Polish
John and Tina both looked at me with hopeful expressions. “Do you really think so?” It was the first thing I heard Tina say since I got there.
“Yeah, I do.”
John stuffed his hand in his pocket. “How?”
“I know someone that might be able to help, but it might take me a few days to get a hold of him. I think the police here are trying, but this other person might be able to help more.” What I refused to say was that I was chicken to call my contact because he was, in fact, my dad. I wasn’t sure what he would say about this situation or if he could even help.
“Alright, so, you’ll let us know if we can help, okay?”
I nodded. “Sure. But, I can’t promise that you’ll be safe from losing your scholarship after this is all said and done.”
“I know. I thought of that before, but this is more important. Maybe I can get clean again and, who knows, maybe find a good job somewhere.”
“You’re a good man, John. Thank you.”
He nodded then helped Tina off the counter and walked out of the kitchen. I waited there until I heard the front door shut. It was strange standing alone in that house, but my mind was running with so many things that I couldn’t focus on any of the beautiful fixtures or that fact that Vahn grew up there.
Everything John said about Steve being off in the head made sense. That would affect the way drugs worked in his body, maybe making him more aggressive, even more possessive.
I rubbed my upper arms as I felt a draft of cool air breeze across my bare skin. A T-shirt probably wasn’t the best choice for this time of year, but the day was still so warm compared to the afternoon and evening that a sweater would just be too hot.
I decided that I should get home to Vahn; he was probably wondering where I was. Not to mention that it didn’t feel right being in his house without his knowledge or permission. He was going to freak when he found out I met John here as it was.
I closed the front door behind me and the hair on the back of my neck stood up. Spinning around, I faced the deserted front yard on the other side of Vahn’s beautiful wall. I scanned the dusky area but the sun was quickly setting, leaving shadows to play with my mind. The car was only about five yards away from the porch so I decided to take my chances and sprinted over to it, locking the doors behind me as soon as I hopped in. I grasped the steering wheel with white knuckles as I caught my breath.
A shadow moved that I saw out of the corner of my eye. I jumped, glancing over toward the house and searching the bushes, but didn’t see anything—or anyone—moving around. It was probably all in my head. I was just being paranoid.
Not wasting any time, I peeled out of there; rocks showered the deck and dead yard. Somewhere between home and the wall, my phone beeped continuously as texts flooded my inbox. My heart hammered against my chest as I swiped the screen to see who would be texting like that. I tried to swallow the large lump in my throat when I saw Steve’s name, but I couldn’t. I glanced from the road, to my phone, back to the road again as I read the first text. I tried telling myself u aren’t worth it, but I know it’s a lie. I ignored it only to have the next one pop up on my screen. It’s 2 late now, I know u know. Then: Can’t wait to see u again. I have big plans 4 us.
What the hell was that supposed to mean? I tossed the phone in the passenger seat. Steve’s texts weren’t worth a response, but they would be great proof for the authorities. It beeped one more time. I gripped the steering wheel, trying to ignore the gross curiosity of what more he could possibly text. I pulled up along the curb next to my apartment and cut the engine. Grabbing my phone, I swiped the screen. Ignoring me won’t change anything. What was I supposed to do? Indulge his abnormal fantasy that he and I were supposed to be together?
I quickly texted back. What do u want from me? I released a long breath after pressing send. I didn’t want to engage in a conversation with Steve, but I was so done with this crap. I moved to Utah to start my life over, and this was not how I wanted to live.
My phone beeped. I want u.
Furiously, I hit the screen texting back. U can’t have me. I’m with Vahn. Leave me alone.
Beep. Never. U’ll be with me or pay the consequences.
I tapped my phone against my leg as I anger boiled inside me. This was bullshit. I was not going to live scared. Bring it, I texted back. Nothing. No more beeps, no more texts. I relaxed just a bit. I lowered the rearview mirror and made sure I looked calm and smoothed my hair before going inside. It was probably time to call my dad. I wasn’t sure what I was going to say, but within the next few days, I knew it was something I’d have to do.
I grabbed my backpack and climbed out of the car. I couldn’t get inside fast enough. The darkness played with my head and I saw shadows dance from the leaves on the trees, making me jump. I unlocked the front door and closed it quickly, making sure to lock it.
“Where have you been?” Vahn hollered from the couch.
“Jeesh, Dad, nice to see you too.”
“Keeley, no, Baby, it’s not like that. I was just worried.” His head was barely high enough to see over the couch for him to stare at me.
I crossed my arms and walked over to him, sitting down carefully so I didn’t bounce him around. “Yeah, I know. I’m just on edge.” Potato chip bags and empty soda cans lined the coffee table. “So it looks like you were well-nourished today. Feeling good enough to walk a bit, huh?”
He gave a sly grin. “Well, it was the chips and soda or nothing. I really think you need to eat more.”
My cheeks warmed. True, I hadn’t gone shopping for real food in forever. “How about I order something, like chicken or sub sandwiches?”
“I could’ve done that. I was just waiting for you.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Really? You think I’m gonna buy that?”
“So, after you order dinner, we can talk about today.”
I gripped my phone tighter as he talked. “What about today?” I found the number I was looking for and dialed it, holding my finger up for Vahn to give me a second while I ordered.
When our food was on the way, I gave Vahn my full attention. “Okay, now what about today? Was it all that bad without me?” I teased.
“You know it was, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I know you went to talk to John.”
I froze. How did he know that? I chewed on my inside cheek, trying to decide what to say.
“Keeley, you should’ve told me you were meeting him there. I have a right to know those things. I’m kinda laid up because of them and you’re my girlfriend, so you going by yourself scares the crap outta me.”
“I know, but I thought you’d tell me not to go.”
“Damn right I’d tell you no. I should’ve been with you. What if something would’ve happened? What if Steve would’ve tried taking you again? I wasn’t there to protect you.”
“Vahn, I don’t need you to protect me. Besides, with your banged up body, there isn’t much you can do right now.”
“You really just went there? Tell me, why do I have these bruised ribs?” His jaw tightened and his body tensed.
“I don’t want to fight with you. I’m sorry. Wait, how did you even know that’s where I was?”
He picked up his phone and flipped it open so I could see a picture message. It was of me, John, and Tina in the kitchen. Someone took it through the window without us knowing. My heart jumped up in my throat. The shadow I saw as I left was real.
“Who sent this to you?”
“Really? You have to ask that?” Vahn groaned as he shifted to sit up straighter. “See what I mean? He’s always one step ahead of us. Steve was there and you had no clue.”
I wasn’t sure how to respond. Everything I feared about him following me was right. “But why didn’t he do something while he was there?”
“My guess is that he’s a sick bastard who likes to play games.”
I dug my phone out of my back pocket and handed it to Vahn. “Yeah, he sent me these texts on my
way home.”
Vahn scrolled through them, with each one his face grew tighter. “We need to call the police again. I can’t help you and he’s obviously off his effing rocker.”
“No,” I said a little too loudly. This time I wanted time to call my dad first. “We’ve called them, Vahn. But they haven’t done anything. It might be a sign for us to try a different route.” My fingers shook as I took my phone back.
“Well, I did like how you told him to bring it, maybe he’ll back off for a bit. I don’t think he’s used to girls being as stubborn as you are.”
I chuckled. “Yeah, I’m just so done with this shit. I refuse to let him dictate my life.”
“Come here, we can figure it out together.” He held his arm open for me to come snuggle up against him.
I stayed put. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“It will hurt me more if you don’t. Heartache and all that mushy stuff.”
I smiled and slid up next to him on the couch. His body heat radiated all the way to my soul, giving me comfort that I sorely needed. “Vahn?”
“Hum?” I could hear his chest purr with his voice as I rested my head against him carefully.
“When this is over, will you still love me?”
He wrapped his good arm around me tighter. “Baby, I could never love another. You’re stuck with me.”
Thirteen
I raised the black dress to my body and stared at myself in the bathroom mirror. It was so surreal that a week ago I met Alison, and in that same week she died. Thoughts of Celeste flooded my mind. The last time I wore this dress was at her funeral. Both friends were dead because of me.
I dropped the dress, letting it fall to the floor around my feet. Nothing stood between me and my reflection now as I pondered over how life brought me to another funeral.
A light tap on the door startled me. I reached down to pick up the dress and cover myself. “Yeah?”
Vahn cracked the door enough so I could hear him better. “Are you about ready? We need to leave soon if you want to get there on time.”
“I’ll be out in a minute.”
“Well, don’t forget we have to stop by my place so I can change.”
Ugh, I forgot about that. I leaned against the counter and exhaled loudly. “Yeah, I know.”
“Listen, Keeley, I know you’re upset. I know this is hard on you; it’s hard for me. I haven’t been to a funeral since my parents’,” Vahn said through the crack in the door.
I pulled the dress over my head, and then took the pins out of my hair, letting it fall around my face. “It wasn’t until Steve told people not to talk to me that Alison started talking to me.” I chuckled. “It felt like she filled that void that was there from Celeste. Even if it was for only one day it was like I had a friend.”
Vahn opened the door and walked in. He wrapped his arms around me and I let my head rest against his chest. I couldn’t hold the tears back. The comfort of his embrace surrounded me with a security blanket, as if I were free to release everything that was built up inside of me.
I sniffed back a sob and looked up at him. “This sucks, on so many levels.”
“I know, babe.” He kissed the top of my head. “Come on, let’s go.”
I nodded and let him lead me out of the bathroom and through the house, to the car. I drove since he was still in too much pain and the ride to his house was silent. Both of us were lost in thoughts and memories too painful to voice out loud. He walked out of his house in a white pressed shirt and tie. He would’ve been irresistible if it wasn’t under different circumstances.
“You look nice,” I said as I helped him get back in the car.
“Yeah, not too shabby for a crippled guy.” He smiled at me. “But you look amazing as usual; I didn’t tell you that earlier, but I mean it.”
“I think you’ve taken too many pills today.”
The funeral was small, maybe around fifty people. I saw only a handful of students from the college there, but thankfully, no one from the team was in attendance. I wasn’t sure I could’ve handled it well had they shown up—especially Steve.
Alison’s parents opted for an open casket viewing and it took all I had not to break down completely when I saw her laying on the soft pink satin. Vahn took my hand and pulled me away to sit down. My only consolation was that Alison looked peaceful, happy, and beautiful. She was no longer marred by the horrible acts of the football team that she endured for years.
Alison’s mom was the easiest to spot. She spent most of the funeral crying inconsolably. It gripped at my heart to see her in her deepest pit of grief. Sorrow was such a raw emotion that it could tear through a soul.
I saw Caty sitting in the back, but I noticed none of the team came. It was strange and I had to question why, but I guessed it was because that if they had something to do with her death they wanted to stay far away as possible. Guilt was something that could eat anyone alive. Caty forced a half-sad smile my way but it vanished as quickly as it appeared.
I swallowed the lump in my throat before taking a seat in the third row. Vahn followed close behind me, never letting go of my hand. It was a small comfort, but I needed it. I stared at the crumpled tissue I held tightly. Floods of memories flashed through my mind. It was hard to breath and all I could think was how people died because of me.
“It’s okay, you can do this,” Vahn whispered.
I nodded as more tears streamed down my face. He gave my hand a gentle squeeze and pulled it over onto his lap. A tiny gasp hiccupped as new sobs erupted from my lungs. I wasn’t just grieving for Alison, but Celeste as well, and Vahn’s parents who I never met; for anyone caught in the pain and suffering of life, drugs, drinking—and Steve. I grieved for them all.
We left soon after the service, neither of us wanting to relive any of our memories of grief any longer. “Do you think it was really Steve that killed her? I keep playing it over in my head. Maybe she knew what she was getting into by talking to me,” I said as we walked through the door to my apartment. My cheeks were dry from all the tears of the funeral. My whole body was worn out from the emotional upheaval.
“What do you mean?”
I shrugged. “Well, she knew how the team worked; she’s the one who told me all about them. She knew talking to me could result in consequences, but she still did it. I think she was depressed enough that she wanted to end it all.”
We sat on the couch. “I think you’re grasping at straws. That’s crazy. I don’t think she’d do that.”
“No? Then why did she all of a sudden start talking to me once she wasn’t allowed to, according to Steve, anyway? Besides, she told me about her depression. It could have escalated to that.”
“Babe, Alison might have known there would be consequences, but I doubt she thought it would be death.” He settled back, careful of his ribs as he moved slowly.
I leaned my head against the back of the couch. “Yeah, you’re probably right. I just can’t help but feel responsible. Like I was her escape route or something.”
“Steve is sick. He’ll use anything to get what he wants, and right now, he wants you. I’ve spent the last couple of years of my life trying to oust him, and for whatever reason, he’s been able to cover everything.”
“I remember some hot guy telling me that every idiot has leaves evidence. Maybe we’re closer to finding his than we think. I mean, killing Alison is a huge thing. That’s not just telling people not to talk to her.”
Vahn’s brow rose. “What are you thinking?”
I groaned. “I don’t know. I just, I can’t, ugh…”
“I think you need some sleep, I know I do. We can think more about it tomorrow. It’s been a long day.”
I nodded. “Yeah. I know.” I chewed on my lip as I thought more about everything, not really ready to move. “I’ve been thinking. My dad is a cop; well, the Chief of Police. I know I told you that before, but I can’t help but wonder if he would know how to help.” I hesitated. “But I can’t ev
en fathom how to talk to him. After what happened with me and Celeste he’s been over protective. I can’t say that I blame him, but he’s also edgy about everything I do.”
Vahn grabbed my hand. “I agree that we need help and I think calling your dad is a good idea, but I also get why you’re worried about it. That sounds like one more thing to sleep on.”
I couldn’t help the small chuckle. “Yeah, I think you just want to get me in the same bed as you.”
“I can’t help it if I’m dating the most beautiful girl in the world, who, by the way, happens to love me back.”
I smiled and stood up, helping him to his feet as well. “It’s a shame you’re hurt.”
He stroked my cheek with the back of his hand. “Keeley, I’ll never be too hurt to make love to you.”
“Who said anything about that?” I played coy.
“You’re a tease.”
I shrugged. “Maybe, but I think you like it.” He knew exactly how to get my mind off things. I couldn’t resist his silver eyes and the way they shined when he looked at me.
I slapped my phone, trying to make it shut up as the alarm went off. “Why can’t school start at noon when human brains start working?” I grumbled as I sat up.
Vahn was next to me with the sheets covering half of him. His bare chest had a purplish bruise where he was injured but it looked remarkably better than it did a couple of days ago. He smiled at me. “You could just skip and stay in bed with me all day.”
“Haha. I have that field trip today to the canyon, remember? Besides, it sounds like fun. It will be good to do something normal for a change.”
“What? Things we do together aren’t normal enough? Besides, a lot of things sound like fun, but you don’t see me getting to do them.”
I threw my pillow at him and stood up, then hurried and got ready. My whole class met Professor Priese and Professor Thornburg by the Earth Science building then gathered together on a bus. I hadn’t been on a big yellow since I got my driver’s license. I plopped down on a seat and slid up next to the window.
The bus filled up quick with rowdy students excited to get a day out of the classroom. The noise put me on edge. I couldn’t focus long enough on one sound to distinguish who it was or what it was. All I kept thinking was that Steve would show up on the bus and creep up behind me without me noticing. I glanced over my shoulder to make sure, but didn’t spot him, or anyone from the team. I didn’t even see Caty on the bus. That last part bothered me a bit. Was there a reason she wasn’t there?
