by Piper Lawson
Walking at Dylan’s side, it felt so normal. I felt the first semblance of contentment in a long time.
“So tell me,” I started as I pulled him across the street, empty except for the occasional wave of yellow taxis as the lights changed. “I want to know what’s happening at your house, with your friends … the stuff we never get around to on the phone.”
“Well, Kent’s teaching me how to surf.”
I laughed. “No way. You’ve been holding out for years. Did he forget that time you borrowed Rick’s skateboard on a dare and wound up with six stitches?”
Dylan glanced down at the elbow in question. “Nope. But Kent insists it’s a different sport. Besides, I need something physical now that I’ve finally given up on my rugby career.”
“Tragic.” I tried to sound appropriately respectful considering Dylan hadn’t had a shot at professional athletics since blowing his knee in high school.
“It’s OK. I think I’ve had enough. I’m ready to move onto something else.”
I nodded. “I get the desire to move forward. I think part of the fun of evolving is saying no to things that aren’t what you need anymore.”
“Yeah.” He paused, turning it over in his head. “Yeah, that’s exactly it.” His mouth pulled up at the corner and my heart did a little extra beat the way it always did when he was close.
That much hadn’t changed after two years. He was still the smart, sexy, mysterious guy I wanted to impress. Whose smiled I lived for. Who I wanted to be with so much it hurt.
“Get your class schedule finalized?”
“It just came in last night.” He popped open his phone and scrolled through while I looked over his arm. Most of it was gibberish to me.
“Wait—you’re taking finance?”
“Elective.”
“Only you would take finance as an elective,” I teased.
“Yeah, well. My girlfriend’s a brain. I have to keep up.” His eyes danced as he pulled me against his body.
We crossed the street to the south edge of Central Park, then found a bench to watch the birds from. Dylan leaned back in his seat, long legs outstretched. I nestled into him. It was hard to remember the time before I had this, had him.
Even though this felt so good, something between us wasn’t right and I didn’t know what to say, or do, to fix whatever had been damaged between us. Partly because I didn’t know if it was damaged yesterday, or a long time ago. Whether I’d worsened it by not telling him about Europe, or he had by hiding the job offer.
“Sometimes I still can’t believe you’re a year and a half out of school and you already have a business.” Dylan’s thoughtful tone pulled me back to the present. “I forget it’s so real. Part of me never got it until I saw the store yesterday. You know, bricks and mortar.”
I knew what he meant. Sometimes Dylan’s world felt like a parallel universe. He was poring over textbooks while I was trying to make rent for a SoHo storefront.
“Travesty gets overwhelming. People think running a business is glamorous, but it’s sixteen hour days and blood sweat and tears and luck and favors just trying to keep it all going. That’s why I want to keep learning from people that know how to do this stuff. People like Elle.” I took a deep breath as Dylan’s arm stiffened around me. “But … I don’t want to take the internship if it’s going to cause problems for us.”
Dylan’s chocolate gaze moved over mine. “It's your decision. And no matter what you decide, we’ll get through it.”
His simple faith was comforting and unsettling at once. “How do you know that?”
“I just do.”
I took a breath, forcing the words to sound casual when they were anything but. “Have you thought any more about the job in San Diego?”
He shook his head and my chest constricted. I brushed a piece of hair out of his handsome face.
“You know something Dylan? When life slows down for long enough to breathe, I’m so grateful for this. For you. I never imagined I’d have someone who sees me the way you do. I never thought I’d love someone the way I love you.”
“Yeah?”
I nodded, my throat tight.
Dylan’s expression warmed with understanding. His eyes brightened and he produced something from his pocket. “I got you something.”
“A present?” My heart tripped in my chest. The little box was purple, one of my favorite colors. I popped open the lid to see a tiny, perfect gold bird on a long chain. “It’s a dove.”
“Close. It’s a pigeon.”
“Pigeons can fly more than one thousand miles at fifty miles an hour,” I said without thinking. My hand flew to my mouth. “Oh my God. Why do I know that?”
“A project. I was in elementary school. It was—”
“The first time I stayed at Ava’s house. At your house. How can you remember that?”
Dylan’s thumb stroked my cheek, the corner of his mouth pulling up in a grin. “Because it was the day I met you.”
The expression on his face completely overwhelmed me.
“You came down the stairs that morning after a sleepover with Ava. I was in grade three, I think. I didn’t like girls, but you came right over to me. I was doing this project on pigeons and I couldn’t tell them apart. You sat down next to me without waiting for permission and flipped through the pages until you said, ‘Those ones have bigger tails. And they’re fast.’ Then Ava came down and tried to drag you away, but you told her to wait. No one told my sister to wait.”
He glanced back down at the chain while I struggled to breathe. “This one’s a homing pigeon. Well, the woman at the shop wasn’t sure, but I decided it is. I want you to know you’ll always be with me and I’ll always be with you. Even when we’re not in the same city … you’re my home, Lex. I’ll always come back for you, and I know you’ll always come back for me.”
I love you, Dylan Cameron.
The emotion welling up inside stopped me from saying the words, but I felt them like a brand across my heart.
As his fingers fastened the chain around my neck, I wanted to believe we’d be OK. We had to, it was us. Dylan was my rock and I couldn’t picture life without him. He kept me level. He saw me at my best and my worst, and loved me all the same.
I touched the pendant with one hand, leaning in to kiss him.
We’d both changed in the past two years. We’d both grown up, and done our best to live our lives, together and apart.
If there was one thing I’d learned in that time, it was that there are no sure bets. There was no earthly reason Travesty should’ve succeeded when hundreds of other startups failed. Or why dozens of college grads would be welcome to new jobs at Manhattan engineering companies, but not Dylan.
There are no guarantees in life. All I have is Dylan’s love for me. Mine for him. And our combined hope that those two things will be enough.
In a few hours I’d have to let him go again. Though my body thrilled at the feeling of being close to him, my heart ached knowing it was short lived.
Chapter 13
Lex
“Shit! We only have eighty VIP bags. There are supposed to be one hundred.”
“Front passenger seat.” Jordan’s voice came from somewhere outside the car.
I hauled myself out of the back of the limo and pulled opened the passenger door. We’d wedged the small bags into larger ones to make them easier to carry, but we still looked like pack mules.
“Remind me why we passed up Nate’s offer to help shuttle bags?”
“Because Nate’s been uninvited to Fashion Week,” Ava said darkly. Normally I’d ask what was up, but I was running on coffee fumes after another near-sleepless night.
Kirsten had told us she’d send a car to help us get the bags from Travesty to the Elle Duchesne show, but the black stretch limo was a surprise. Ava and Jordan each had a glass of champagne in the car, which Ava’d claimed was their reward for helping. I’d only been able to sip at mine.
“Take a breath alrea
dy,” Jordan said to me as the three of us stumbled toward the hall where the Elle Duchesne show would be held. “I haven’t seen you this jumpy since we launched the fall collection. Between the show today and the party tonight, you’ll meet Elle for sure. And she’s going to take you. She’d be a moron not to.”
At the baseball game Ava and I had filled Jordan in on the potential offer from Elle. She’d been more worried than Ava about our ability to juggle if I went, but she’d also recognized what a great opportunity it would be.
We navigated a corner, barely missing three people dressed like waitstaff on our way to the back entrance. A short woman dressed in black and talking into an earpiece let us in, and I focused on winding my way through the busy-looking crowd of employees in the main foyer.
I glanced over my shoulder as I crossed the giant space. The marble floor was the color of clouds, save for ripples of black running through it. The chandelier hanging from the ultra-high ceiling danced with golds and silvers. It wasn’t lit, but the sunlight streaming in the two-story windows played over the crystals, making them come alive. Lines for the spectators that would be coming in a few hours were roped off. I didn’t have to figure out where we were going because a tall, blond woman strode toward us at a dangerous speed on her stiletto heels.
“You girls are lifesavers,” Kirsten said. “Thank you for this. What did you put in them? I haven’t seen the credit card bill yet.”
I reached into one of the bags and held up a box, opening the lid to reveal a gold charm bracelet.
Right after Dylan had left, I’d looked on the bottom of the packaging for my gift and immediately called the number. The bracelets in the bags mimicked the pigeon necklace nestled around my throat. The indie designer had been only too happy to move a hundred pieces, despite the fact that she hadn’t had enough in stock and had to work all afternoon and night to finish. Even though it wouldn’t have the same meaning to the VIPs today as it had to me, it felt precious and simple and elegant.
“Great choice,” Kirsten agreed before her attention refocused on a doorway just beyond us. “So here’s what we do…”
We followed her into the room that was being set for the fashion show. I’d been to Fashion Week before, but it got me every time.
Plain black iron chairs were arranged in rows at different angles. The catwalk was the color of earth—or at least, earth in a fairy land. The chestnut brown was accented with little crystals that made it catch in the lights the crew was testing. The runway split the room in two, but instead of ending, it circled back on itself, enclosing half the chairs within it. There was a gap that would allow for people to be seated before it was closed for the show itself.
We started laying out bags on seats, following Kirsten’s directions. Kirsten was talking to someone else across the room from us.
“Hey, check it out,” Jordan called from the chairs in the enclosure.
Ava and I crossed to her.
Alexis Caine. Ava Cameron. Jordan Briggs.
The seats had names on them. Our names. I’d only attended two shows ever, both pressed against the back walls.
“No way! Lex, did you know we were getting seats? I thought we’d be watching from the back,” Ava demanded.
“Me too. That’s pretty amazing.” I glanced toward Kirsten, but she was already gone.
We made ourselves busy helping for the next few hours, stopping only to refuel on the coffee provided by the magazine. Neither Ava nor Jordan complained. We were a team, and when we decided to do something, we just did it.
By the time we took our seats, the others were starting to fill too. I found myself craning my neck to see if I recognized any faces. Jordan seemed more interested in what the runway was made of and whether it was slippery. And Ava was trying to photobomb some teenage celebrity.
The moment I settled into my chair was the first time my hands and head weren’t busy that day. The first time since Dylan had left the day before, actually.
The lights dimmed and the room was full. Everything was buzzing. Invisible speakers came to life, pumping some new EDM song. A giant screen I hadn’t noticed because it blended into the wall behind the runway lit up, with stunning high-def images from cities all over the world. Overlaid were words, people. It was eclectic and beautiful and mesmerizing.
Still, I found myself looking out over the crowd. The well-dressed people, here for work or personal interest, gazing in rapture or idleness at the scene before them.
This was what I wanted, right? All the long hours were for moments like this one. I’d envisioned the feeling of excitement, of anticipation since Ava had suggested Travesty years ago. Of knowing that we were part of this whole world.
The first model came down the runway, and the vibe was electric. But after the first few outfits, they started to blur together. The beat of the music echoed in my head as slender legs moved crisply, heels clicking like a metronome.
This was beautiful, but it was a moment in time. All this effort for a single show. Was it enough? I mean … even Elle Duchesne must have someone to go home to, right?
I remembered how Dylan had looked when I’d seen him off the day before after our coffee in the park. After kissing him goodbye, I’d made him promise not to reject the job without thinking about it. It had broken my heart to say the words, but it was selfish of me to expect him to drop everything when I wouldn’t drop everything for him.
Sweat broke out on my face at the memory of our conversation. Suddenly the lights were too bright. My breath caught in my chest, and I pressed my hands to my face.
Ava leaned over. “Are you OK?” she whispered.
I nodded slowly, then stopped. “No. Not really. Dylan got a job offer in California. I think he might stay there next year.”
“What!” Ava’s voice carried over the music, drawing cold glances from people around us.
For once I didn’t have the heart to shush her. “I want him here. But I can’t tell him that, can I? We’re busy with Travesty, it’s not fair to expect him to fit in with my life—”
“Lex, I need to tell you something,” she said urgently, grabbing my shoulder.
I blinked at my friend. “Now?”
“No. Yes.” She frowned, pushing a hand through the shiny hair that fell in waves past her shoulders. “Listen. Dylan was going to propose.”
My mouth fell open as horror washed over me. “What? To who?”
“To you, dummy! This week. That’s why he came to New York.”
Everything around us fell away, except for my friend’s wide green eyes and the numb sensation that took hold of me, starting at my head and making its way to my toes.
I struggled to make connections. Dylan was going to propose. Dylan was going to propose!
Nothing added up, save for one shouting conclusion.
He didn’t propose.
I was on my feet before I knew how I got there.
“I have to go.”
Ava wasn’t alone in looking up at me. Jordan’s mouth had dropped, and everyone within ten rows of us was starting to take notice.
“What? It can’t wait a few minutes?” Ava insisted.
“No. This is all wrong.”
I turned before realizing our seats were closed off from the exit. The part of me that hated making a scene protested.
The rest of me ignored her.
I grabbed my bag and timed it so that I could scurry over the runway in between models, drawing a gasp from the crowd. I didn’t care how it looked that I was leaving. All I could think about was Dylan.
My heels clicked on the floor as I burst through the doors and careened into the foyer. I pulled up, hand flat on my chest as I tried to catch my breath. The ceiling rose up seemingly miles above me, but there was no air.
Why is there no damn air?
My shaky fingers hit the speed dial entry on my phone. The next seconds were agonizing, until Dylan’s voice came over the line.
Voicemail.
I hung up.
This week had been weird, but I’d just chalked it up to stress. How could I have not noticed my own boyfriend was going to propose? How long had he been planning this?
I sank onto the floor. A moment later I found my head shoved between my knees.
“Lex. Breathe,” Jordan commanded from behind me.
“That wasn’t how you were supposed to find out.” Ava’s disembodied voice came from the other side.
I pushed Jordan’s hand away and sat up, slowly. “It’s fine.” Two sets of concerned eyes rested on me and my throat closed. “I mean, it’s not fine, but… Why didn’t he go through with it?”
Ava’s face was uncharacteristically sympathetic. “Well, at first he apparently lost the ring—or Nate did…”
“Nate was in on this?” The floor was still spinning, even though I was sitting down.
“Yeah. And then you were talking about not rushing into things… Maybe he was worried you weren’t as invested in this as he was.”
“Oh God,” I groaned. “I am invested. Beyond invested.”
“So what’re you going to do?” Jordan asked.
I glanced around us. Three girls sitting under the watchful eye of security in the middle of a marble floor in New York.
“I have no idea.”
Chapter 14
Lex
“Lex, you can’t let this stop you from going to the Elle Duchesne party. She’ll be there tonight. You could still meet her.” Ava’s face peered over her shoulder from where she was inspecting her appearance in the mirror by the front door.
“I’m not sure they’ll let us in after our half-time exit,” Jordan called from her room.
“Was it that bad?” I asked, trying to care. My roommate shot me a look.
“It was a poster and a pant hem short of The Shawshank Redemption.”
“We have to try,” Ava stated. “I know you’re freaked out about Dylan, but he’ll call you back.”
The last thing I felt like was a party. Hours after the fashion show, there was no word from him—even though I’d eventually grown a pair and left a message asking him to call me. But my makeup was already done from earlier, and with Ava’s insistence that Travesty needed me to at least talk to Elle after all the work we’d done on the bags, I’d tugged on a short silver dress and some matching shoes. I’d used a flat iron to put my hair into waves down my back, burning myself twice on the metal out of sheer distraction.
