by Gin Price
A legitimate concern, and very thoughtful, which made me feel unworthy of her friendship for the millionth time. “You’re probably right. It’s better not to say anything at this point until we can figure out who is playing games with me.”
The rest of the walk to school, none of us said a word.
***
The last few times an incident with me had occurred, everyone in the school seemed to respond to it with looks or giggles or comments. I suspected I would get the same treatment over the Surge rumors. I’m not sure why, since me dating Surge wouldn’t actually be noteworthy. But I was pleasantly surprised by the lack of attention on the walk to my locker.
“Incoming,” Liv whispered. I glanced up to see Haze and his friend, Decay, plowing their way through the crowded hall toward Liv, Surge, and me.
If pissed could be accurately defined in a look, Haze had it.
“This can’t be good,” I said under my breath. An understatement on my part. “Hey,” I said to Haze, once he was close enough.
He glanced at Liv and then Surge before bringing his heated stare back to me. “Can I talk to you privately?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, bro,” Surge started, surveying the interested students who suddenly walked much slower and gawked harder.
“No one asked you, little man,” Decay responded, pushing his chest up higher with an inhale.
Surge balked. “Little man? You got what? An inch or two on me? That don’t mean nothing.”
Like a skunk spraying defensively, the smell of trouble misted and tainted the air.
“Okay, okay.” I reached out and squeezed Surge’s arm, trying to call him off the hunt. When I looked over at Haze, I was surprised to see he didn’t bother to leash Decay this time around. Liv, however, poked the big guy in the chest a few times as she dressed him down right there in the hallway.
I couldn’t hear what she said since my attention was firmly planted on Haze and his bizarre behavior. After all our sneaking around, he made a pretty bold statement coming up to me in the hallway. Why would he risk the declaration of war?
“Yeah. We can talk privately,” I said.
Surge’s face burst into a vast array of disapproving scowls, but I shook my head. I didn’t need to hear anything from him right now.
“Ellie,” I heard Liv call for me from somewhere behind my shoulder.
“It’ll be fine. Go to class before we draw serious attention. Surge, you know I’ll be okay,” I quickly added when it looked like Surge might argue. “Please, it’ll be quick. I’ll see you next period break, okay?”
Surge’s jaw worked as he stared down Haze. The two were not exactly friends, and not exactly enemies, I’d seen to that by asking Surge to help train Haze, but now with all the mystery surrounding my graffiti’d face, the walls of distrust were up. The fact my boy best friend and my boyfriend might come to blows was a very real, very upsetting possibility.
Though I could tell he didn’t want to, Surge nodded and motioned for Liv to come with him. She and Decay finished a heated-whisper argument that Liv ended abruptly with a slap to Decay’s face.
I winced, expecting a backlash, but he only stared after Liv when she walked away.
“You better be at your locker between periods, Ellie,” she called over her shoulder. Surge walked beside her, uncertain, and I nodded to let him know everything would be all right.
That is, until Haze grabbed my hand and held it. Held my hand! Right there in the middle of the hallway for everyone to see.
I snatched it back. “Haze!”
“Take my hand, LL.”
“But…” With a quick scan I confirmed what I suspected. A good majority of the hall’s occupants were already whispering.
“LL!”
“Okay, okay. Jesus, when did you get so cranky?”
A moment later we were in the alcove to the pool room, and the locked metal door was at my back. Haze’s hazel eyes were greener under fluorescent lights, boring into me with emotions I couldn’t sift through to get to the heart of his issue.
“When did I get so cranky? When my girlfriend is rumored to be with someone other than me! It’s like a bomb went off and everyone is talking about you and Surge hooking up at one of Damien’s skip parties.”
“What?” I laughed. If he only knew. “I don’t even go to parties, Haze. You can’t possibly believe that.”
“Of course, I don’t,” he said, but I wasn’t sure if he believed his own words. “Even though you’ve been avoiding me…”
“I had to get my head straight. With all this graffiti business, I wasn’t feeling like being visible.”
“I went by your house and you weren’t there.”
“When?”
“Tuesday, when you called out sick.”
I bit my lip, recalling each day of the weekend. “Oh. I wasn’t home Tuesday. I skipped with Surge.”
Haze stared at me. Oh!
I couldn’t help but grin. The rumors did seem to coincide with my absence from Haze, but really, it was all a big misunderstanding, which made his jealousy and irrational need to lay claim to me, beyond cute. I was flattered.
“Brennen.” I sighed, and brought my hands up to his face. Pulling him into me, I slid my mouth against his and felt the tension ease in him. His arms swept around my back in that familiar way and he squeezed me against his chest.
His lips took instant possession of mine, as if he could define our relationship in this one kiss, and damn the world if they discovered he wanted me and I belonged to him.
He had the last part right!
Returning each lap of his tongue, I put every ounce of my adoration for him in my reaction. Please believe in me.
The brief soft press of lips he used to end his kiss was sweeter than I ever remembered. Like an apology without words. Panting, connected by our foreheads, we stared down at each other’s swollen lips until he lifted his gaze to mine.
“I can’t do this.”
Okay, that threw me for a bit of a loop. My gut welcomed my heart. “I don’t—What do you mean?”
“I can’t have the entire school believe you belong to someone else when you belong with me.” He reached down and clasped both of my hands.
I squeezed. Phew! “I know it isn’t an ideal situation. But what choice do we have?”
“We have choices. So what if people find out? Your brother suspects we’re together still, I’m sure, and if we can just talk some sense into him he can calm his troops down with a word. And if he won’t help, we’ll go to your older brother like you suggested. My side won’t be as much of a problem. I told Decay that night at the theatre I was digging you, so he can help me with the rest of my crew to smooth things over. This can be done.”
I frowned. “You were so certain it couldn’t be…”
“No,” he interrupted me. “I wasn’t sure it would be worth getting into trouble with our crews for or starting shit with your brother. Now I know it is.”
“And if violence ensues?”
“Right now, your brother is the issue. I’m not going to start any violence. If anyone from your crew and mine are willing, we could band together and figure out who is throwing a character of you up all over the place and why. Then your brother wouldn’t have any reason to stand in our way.”
“My brother still believes it’s you.”
One side of his mouth twisted in a smirk. “I bet he does.”
“He showed me an old newspaper article with the wall your sister was painting before she was killed and the style matches yours.”
“I told you,” he snapped. “Whoever helped my sister paint my birthday present, took my style. Same as here and now.”
“I believe you, Haze. But others might need more convincing.”
“So, your brother shows you an article and you ignore me,
is that what happened? You thought maybe I could be doing this?”
“I didn’t know. Surge and I went to the library to see for ourselves, but I don’t care about what looks guilty. Brennen, I believe in you. I think you’re being set up.”
He worried his bottom lip and leaned against the door beside me. “I know. There’s a connection between it all I just can’t figure out what. Maybe it goes beyond Heather’s hormones. Maybe she was in some trouble, maybe drugs or something. I don’t know. They say people do crazy stuff when they’re on them and she was definitely stepping into some crazy behavior.”
“Maybe she didn’t change because of drugs. Maybe she changed because of a guy—or something.”
“A secret crush? Maybe. Then whoever she was with is probably the guy I’m looking for.”
“Well,” I stalled. I didn’t know if I should tell Haze what I’d found out about his sister and my brother. But I wasn’t sure which was worse, having Haze discover it and draw the wrong conclusions, or hearing it from me and listening to my explanation. “It wasn’t the guy she was secretly dating.”
Haze practically lurched from the door as if it were boiling his palms. He stared me down, the anger of his youth I’d heard so much about, glinting in his eyes. “What did you find out?”
He shook with tension and I reached out to ease him only to feel him jerk away.
“What did you find out?” he repeated more forcefully.
I couldn’t tell him.
Already he looked ready to kill someone, and I wanted to swallow my tongue or better yet, sleep for the next ten years so I wouldn’t have to face the outcome of the storm I mistakenly created.
“Tell me! It was Surge, wasn’t it?”
Oh, God. “No! Jesus, Brennen, stop.”
“You have to tell me…you have to—” His voice cut off around an audible swallow. I could imagine how long he’d waited for a break in his sister’s case, and I was flashing him an answer without following through.
“Brennen, listen to me very carefully. You have to get the complete story before you go off on a vengeance spree. You’re emotional right now,” I paused as he laughed bitterly. “Yes, I know how that sounds, but please, give me a chance.”
He did. I explained about my brother and his sister and I left nothing out, not even the intimacy Warp and Heather shared. I knew if he could relate to what my brother felt, he would know, as well as I, that Warp hadn’t murdered his sister.
When the entire tale was told, I held my breath and waited for his response.
“You should’ve told me right away,” he whispered.
“I recently found out myself! I was investigating all day and night yesterday, trying to keep an open mind. Both you and my brother have the best motives for your sister’s murder. You have an alibi. My brother doesn’t.”
“And because of his bullshit story, you believe him? He’s playing you, LL!”
Panic gagged me. I had to fight to keep myself from fainting. “W-what?”
“Your brother was with my sister right before she died, and he said nothing!”
“He would have been pinned for the murder and you know it. Oh, God, Brennen, please. You know I wouldn’t have told you this if I thought for a second you would think my brother was guilty. As I have asked him to believe in your innocence, I’m begging you to believe in his! Trust me. Please.”
Haze backed away from me, his eyes narrowed, body shaking, and without another word, he ran.
Twenty
“Here, breathe into this.”
Liv held a paper lunch bag to my mouth, but I pushed it away. When I’d texted her that I was having a panic attack in the pool hallway, I didn’t expect her to show up with an arsenal of stolen first aid items.
“I’m not hyperventilating, Liv. I’m freaking out.”
Surge rounded the corner, his look of panic melting away when he saw me alive.
“What’d he do? I’ll kill him.”
I shook my head, looking at her. “You texted Surge?”
“I figured he’d want to know you were okay,” she said defensively. I nodded, annoyed that I didn’t think of it first.
“So?” Surge held his arms straight out to his sides. “Tell me where he is.”
“He didn’t do anything, Surge.” I closed my eyes and all I could see was the burning hate in Haze’s eyes. “I’m screwed. I messed up bad. Oh God. Oh shit!” My chest was so tight with pressure…I banged my head back against the pool doors just to move the pain elsewhere so I could breathe again—so I could think.
Surge squatted down beside me. “I know it probably feels that way,” he started.
“I told Haze that Heather and Warp were dating, and that Warp was with her right before she died.”
He winced, not able to hide the reaction. “You’re right. You’re proper fucked. I’m going to text your bro, give him the duck warning.”
I nodded, leaning my head back to stare at the ceiling, tears streaming across my cheeks and into my ears. I refused to wipe them away. They deserved to stain my face for all time.
“I thought I could keep problems from happening if I told Brennen the truth about Heather and Warp’s affair. Warp loved her. He really did, and if I could make Haze see that, the two of them could piece together what they know and find out who killed Heather. I feel it!”
Liv wadded up the paper bag with jerky motions. “I think Haze is right to be mad. Maybe your brother is lying to you. Either way, he should’ve come forward with his relationship with Heather and faced the music.”
I frowned. “Liv. I don’t think you realize what that would’ve meant for Warp.”
“I don’t care. You told me they were dating today, but you failed to mention he was with her the night she died. Maybe something he might have said about that night could’ve been helpful to the police.”
“I know she was your best friend, but you should try to understand how he was feeling.”
“And I think you should try and imagine your brother when he’s angry. Maybe he didn’t go to the police because he was guilty. Ever think of that, Ellie?”
I couldn’t believe Liv was taking a side against Warp. She seemed to like him. I thought she might even date him eventually. She often came around the house unannounced and talked to him quite a bit. Sometimes I saw her feeble reasons for coming to see me as an excuse to chat up my brother, even though at school she pretended to hate him.
“You really think my brother is capable of murder?”
“No way,” Surge piped in, but Liv didn’t answer right away.
“He’s hidden himself from police,” she finally said. “And as you’ve often said, he hasn’t been acting himself the last few years. Maybe he killed her accidentally and is living with the guilt, or maybe he acquired a taste for violence. All I’m saying is, watch your back.”
***
Haze wasn’t in the closet waiting for me. He stood me up this time. We didn’t actually say we’d meet up, but our time behind doors was a daily thing. His absence told me a lot about his frame of mind.
I searched the school for him but didn’t find him. According to rumors, he stormed out the front door with the principal yelling after him shortly after he and I paraded down the hallway hand-in-hand.
On the heels of that rumor was the buzz about my brother scouring the halls in search of me. Yay.
I didn’t know if Surge told my brother the full story about how I outted his relationship with Heather to Haze or if he’d just heard about the scene Haze made at my locker. Either way, I knew I didn’t want to deal with his hysterical reprimand.
So I skipped again. Sneaking out the window the way Liv taught me wasn’t an exit that made a statement, but it worked. Of course, she’d yell at me for abusing her technique when she found out I was cutting class without her.
I’d apol
ogize for my friendship ineptitude later, but right then, I needed to at least try to find Haze before he confronted my brother. Warp was safe at school, but Haze was out on the streets somewhere, I just knew it. Whenever I become overwhelmed, I always turn to my passions, parkour and gymnastics—so I guessed he’d turned to his. I was sure I’d find him throwing up an awesome masterpiece of an avenging angel or some such.
I spent the next few hours freerunning around Three Rivers Academy territory, climbing buildings, jumping walls, and indulging in the occasional handspring, twist, or twirl all while keeping my eyes open for Haze.
***
In the middle of a Speed Vault, my phone vibrated in my pocket. Maybe Haze had finally responded to one of my texts! But in the alleys of the city, I knew my reception would be crap. The sun had gone down, but the neon lights of the fast food joint across the street illuminated the area just enough for me to see. I climbed up the rungs of the nearest fire escape ladder to the tops.
I unzipped my pocket and took out my cell, only to see it was yelling at me to plug it in right before the screen went blank. Well, crap. I’d seen that I had at least one message. Was it my brother looking for me? My boyfriend finally answering me? Was he my boyfriend after today?
While my brain worked, my body went through the motions heading toward my house—the long way of course. Circumstances kept me from enjoying my night out on the town, but I could at least release some stress on the road home.
I balanced on the lip of the rooftop as if it were a beam at the gym. I did my winning routine at Regionals until I ran out of space, and without pause, I jumped down to the neighboring roof, landing with a roll.
Ta fucking da!
No applause today.
Only birds flying into the last vestiges of light before the sun retired behind the growing storm clouds. I could smell the rain in the sky an instant before the first few droplets splattered my hoodie.
Time to stop screwing around and take the direct route in, I figured. I stuffed my hair into my hood and peered through the growing downpour over at the roof adjacent to mine.
