“I’m all right. Just a stupid nightmare,” he grumbled.
She clutched her nightgown, knowing how ridiculous she looked in the striped pink and blue gown. She never would’ve bought this for herself in a million years. She’d considered sleeping in her underwear. But that seemed inappropriate considering Corbin was right next door.
He sighed. “I’m okay now. You can go back to bed.”
But he wasn’t okay. She could feel his pain, filling the empty space between them. She wanted to know about the girl who’d been killed … had a right to know. After all, Corbin was the only thing standing between her and a certain death. She needed to know what had happened to him.
She motioned. “Do you care if I sit down?”
“Sure,” he said in surprise.
In the full light of day, Delaney was sure she could come up with a thousand reasons why being here in Corbin’s bedroom wasn’t a good idea. But at this moment, her guard was down. And Corbin needed to talk this out. She didn’t know how she was so tuned into a man she hardly knew, but like it or not, that was the case.
She sat down, hugging her arms. It was frigid in here. “Did you not plug in your heater?”
“No, I like it cold when I sleep. Gram used to say that the healthiest way to sleep was to be able to see your breath at night.”
“I’m surprised I can’t see my breath in here,” she said tartly.
He scooted over and patted the spot beside him. “Come here.”
Her heart pounded. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she squeaked.
“I assure you, I’ll be a perfect gentleman. I just don’t want you to freeze to death while we talk.”
“I could always plug in the heater.”
“Yeah, but it’ll take at least twenty minutes for the room to heat up.”
She spoke through chattering teeth. “I’ll be a popsicle by then.”
The last of her misgivings slipped away in the wake of his pleading expression. Being here with Corbin … this was right … something she didn’t need to be afraid of. The thoughts blew across her heart like a tender whisper, sending a blessed cushion of comfort around her.
Corbin motioned with his head to the spot beside him. That’s all the encouragement she needed. She hopped over and pulled the covers up over her. True to his word, he scooted to the other side, keeping a healthy distance between them.
She angled to face him. “Okay, tell me about the girl.”
The experience with the SEALs, Doug’s death, it wasn’t something Corbin liked to talk about. But for some reason, he felt like it would be okay to tell Delaney. Maybe it was the sympathetic look on her face, or the fact that she, too, had suffered pain and loss. Or maybe he simply needed to get the words out, unburden his soul. He cleared his throat attempting to gather his thoughts. “For you to understand, I’ll need to tell you from the beginning. When I first became a SEAL.”
The memories rushed out like water from a broken dam as Corbin told Delaney about BUD/S training. How it pushed him past any point he ever thought he could go. How Doug had been there by his side, urging him to keep going. He chuckled, remembering. “Unlike me, Doug grew up with a silver spoon in his mouth. As Sutton Smith’s only son, the world was his oyster. He had every reason to be full of himself and yet he was the very opposite—the most down-to-earth guy I’ve ever met.”
Delaney sucked in a breath, looking puzzled. “So, your best friend was Sutton’s son?”
“Yeah. Doug’s the reason I became a SEAL. I would’ve tapped out early on if it hadn’t been for him.” He clenched his fist, bitterness coating his throat. “I should’ve been the one who died, not him.” How many times had he wished he could live that horrible night over again? Somehow taking Doug’s place. Doug had rushed forward to save everyone while he stayed back. How different things might’ve been had he gone with Doug to help?
He looked at Delaney, surprised to see tears glistening in her eyes. She scooted closer and touched his arm, sending electricity surging through him.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly. “What happened?”
While Corbin was trying to decide what to tell her and what to hold back, the whole thing gushed out. He told her about the rescue mission, how he’d gone nuts when Doug was killed, started shooting up the place like Rambo. And finally, how he’d been the cause of the girl losing her life. When the words ran dry, he sat there, a guilty man waiting for the jury’s verdict.
“You can’t keep blaming yourself. You didn’t shoot the girl.”
A hard laugh escaped his throat. “Can’t I? I disobeyed a direct order from my CO. He told me to stand down, that my actions were putting the team and the family at risk. And he was right.” The self-loathing rushed back with a vengeance. But it felt good to say the words out loud to another person.
“It was one moment in time. You lost your head … made a mistake. It could happen to anyone.”
He could hardly believe the words coming out of her mouth, thought maybe he’d imagined them because that’s what he wanted to hear. “No,” he finally said, “I was trained to do better. I should’ve kept my cool.”
“No amount of training could prepare you for losing your best friend. What happened afterwards?”
“The situation was investigated. The ballistics test came back unclear if Doug had been killed by enemy or friendly fire. The government slapped a lid on the incident to prevent a public outcry, and I was transferred to another team. I left the SEALs shortly thereafter.” Shame blistered over him, and he could hardly make himself look at Delaney. He forced the words from his dry throat, knowing he had to get them out while he could. “Now that you know what type of man’s protecting you, it might be a good idea to call Sutton and request a replacement. I wouldn’t blame you if you did.” He looked down at his hands, his gut sinking like a lead balloon. It was good that he was being honest with Delaney. Her life was on the line. She deserved to know what kind of man he really was.
“Look at me.”
The authority in her voice took him by surprise.
Reluctantly, his eyes met hers, and he was struck by the fierceness of her expression.
She cupped his face, the warmth of her skin flowing into his. “You’re a good man. I trust you to keep me safe. You did it once before in the car with Anton, and I know you’ll do it again.”
Her words burned into his chest, kindling an unexpected hope. “Really?” Tears brimmed in his eyes. He felt like such a fool for crying in front of her and yet the emotion was too much to contain.
“Absolutely.”
He chuckled at the reference to Pops. “I can’t believe you met my grandfather one time and are already quoting him,” he said dryly.
“Well, he seems like a smart guy.”
“He’s all right, for an old dude,” he said offhandedly.
A smile tipped her lips, her dark eyes sparking with a hint of mystery that gave him the feeling that no matter how much time he spent around Delaney, it would never be enough. “So, Corbin Spencer, will you still be my pretend boyfriend?”
He looked down at her ridiculous-looking nightgown, his gaze lingering on the ruffles around her neck. “I dunno,” he drawled. “My woman would never wear that.”
She laughed. “Yeah, it’s pretty bad.”
“It’s okay for a nineteenth-century farm girl.”
Her smile grew larger. “You know, I thought the exact same thing. Did Sutton have this hidden away in some trunk?”
“Maybe it belongs to his assistant Agatha. It looks like something an old lady would wear.”
She giggled. “Yes, it does.”
Corbin’s heart felt lighter than it had in a long time … longer than he could even remember. He’d bared his soul to Delaney and she was okay with the things he’d done. He still found it hard to believe, but he wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth. He leaned in, closing the distance between them. “So,” he said huskily, “would it be okay to give my pretend girlf
riend another kiss? For practice?”
Delaney’s cheeks grew flush, but she didn’t retreat. There was a smolder of desire in her eyes that matched the fire igniting in him. “Okay, but only for practice.”
He pulled her into his arms, his lips taking hers. She tipped her head back, a groan sounding in her throat as she slid her arms around his shoulders. This time, he didn’t hold back. He ran his fingers through her hair, their lips moving together in a burst of energy and flames. He was being consumed by this woman. And it was happening so fast, he could hardly process it.
She pulled back, breathing hard. “I think we’ve got that move down pretty good.”
“I believe you’re right.” He grinned. “But I’ll never say no to practice.”
Her eyes grew troubled as she looked around like she just now realized what was happening. “I shouldn’t be here with you.” She shuddered. “I’m not that kind of woman.”
Panic raced through him. She was retreating. It was like a switch suddenly flipped in her brain. She moved to escape, but he caught her arm. “Hey, don’t do this.”
“What?”
“Run … from us.”
She gurgled out a laugh. “There is no us. This is pretend—a charade invented to keep me safe.”
He let go of her arm and trailed a finger down a tendril of her hair. “This is real.” His eyes locked with hers. “You know it.” He could tell from her expression that he was right.
“I can’t get involved with you right now. Not when we’re in the middle of all this.”
He held her gaze. “Afterwards?”
She shrugged, giving him a small, sad smile. “Afterwards, we’ll see.”
He could tell she had no intention of entertaining a relationship with him, and it cut. All the angst rushed back. “Because of what I told you? About my past?” It was stupid to think she could accept him, that anyone could. After what he’d done.
“No. Because of me … and my past.” Her eyes teared up. “I’m damaged goods.”
He touched her face. “No, you’re an angel … the most beautiful, intoxicating woman I’ve ever been around.” He could tell from the doubt in her eyes that she didn’t believe him. “I wish you could see what I see. You pulled yourself up from nothing. Made something of yourself. You looked fear in the eyes and kept moving forward. All of those things are heroic.”
She drew back from him, a tear dribbling down her cheek. Hastily, she brushed it away with her palm. “I need to get some rest … in my own room.”
Maybe they were a lost cause. He was no psychiatrist, couldn’t imagine all that Delaney had been through to bring her to this point. He didn’t know how to reach her. Every time he felt like he was getting close, she retreated even farther away. A bleak emptiness settled over him as he nodded. “All right. Good night.”
She scuttled out of the bed. “Good night,” she said over her shoulder, rushing out of the room.
15
For a moment, right after she awoke, Delaney was confused about where she was. Then everything came back in a flash—Tuck’s death, Hugh out for revenge, fleeing to the cabin. And last night … the kiss in Corbin’s bed. She sat up, her cheeks burning with remembrance. She couldn’t deny that the feelings Corbin stirred in her were stronger than any she’d ever had. Tuck had been her only other relationship and that was so messed up and tainted that she really had nothing to go off of. She scrunched her nose, realizing she’d just dubbed this thing with Corbin a relationship.
Corbin probably thought she was a total moron, kissing him and then fleeing. Right after she told him he was a good man and that she trusted him to keep her safe. She did trust him to keep her safe, but she didn’t trust him with her heart. Maybe she’d never be able to trust anyone. Like she said, she was damaged goods.
She got up and looked out the window, struck by the splendor of the landscape. It was a winter wonderland. The rolling hills of pristine snow were surrounded by a hedge of towering evergreen trees. Above that, the crisp blue sky was streaked with wisps of hazy clouds. Always those clouds in the sky. At least today, they weren’t obscuring the sun. A tingle of excitement ran through her. Not a bad place to spend the next few days writing songs. Then again, they could be here much longer, depending on how this thing with Hugh played out.
The bathroom door was open to Corbin’s bedroom. Her pulse picked up a notch as she ran her hand over her nightgown then up to her hair. She didn’t want Corbin to see her with bedhead. Then again, it didn’t matter how messy her hair was because she was going to wear the wig over it. She looked at the hair on the nightstand, half expecting it to start crawling. It really did look like some sort of animal.
She rummaged through the suitcase, looking for something warm and comfortable to wear. She chose jeans and a red sweater. Thankfully, most of the outerwear clothing was leaps better than the sleepwear.
She walked through the bathroom and stood at the door leading to Corbin’s room. Hesitantly, she peeked in. The bed was made, Corbin’s duffel bag resting on the floor at the foot of the bed. His laptop was sitting on the dresser. He was probably downstairs waiting for her. What time was it, anyway? Eight or nine a.m.? She missed her phone, missed getting on Instagram and Twitter to chat with her fans. Hopefully, Milo would take up the slack while she was gone.
Supposedly, everything had been worked out with the execs at Montana Crew’s label, but what if something fell through the cracks? Anxiety streaked through her. She couldn’t afford to make any more mistakes with her career. The negative publicity Tuck’s death caused was bad enough. She needed to get these blasted songs written and recorded for the album to stay on task. She’d be going on tour the end of next month and needed to have something for fans to purchase … something to keep her relevant.
She closed and locked both doors to the bathroom before turning on the shower. A couple of seconds later, she stepped in, letting the hot water run over her shoulders. Her mind went through song options. She ran through the litany of usual subjects. Heartache, cheating, love, money, drinking. There really were no original ideas, only remakes with a unique spin.
As she stepped out of the shower and reached for a towel, an idea struck—the new title of her next song … Absolutely. A smile tugged at her lips as she pictured Corbin’s face when he heard it. The lyrics floated through her mind, fitting together like pieces of a puzzle. She pursed her lips, staring at her reflection. How would she frame the song? It could go something like …
Will you be there to hug me in the night? Absolutely.
Will you still love me in the morning light? Absolutely.
I’ll absolutely love you … for the rest of my life … until the stars fall from the sky.
They say I’m damaged goods, and I admit it absolutely, but baby you give me more hope than a person ever should.
She tried to think of the rest, but that’s all that would come. Now she wanted to hurry up and get ready so she could jot those notes down before they flew out of her mind. It was rough, but at least it was a start.
She blow-dried her hair and brushed it a few times, wishing she didn’t have to put on the wig. She applied her makeup and rolled on lipgloss rather than lipstick. Then she put on the wig and fluffed the top like Marissa had instructed. The last thing she did before heading downstairs was put on a pair of dangly silver earrings. She studied her reflection, turning from side-to-side. It was amazing how much different she looked. She hardly recognized herself.
The tantalizing scent of bacon caused her stomach to rumble as she walked down the stairs. Her heart pounded out an erratic beat as she rubbed her sweaty palms on her jeans. She didn’t have a clue what she’d say to Corbin. She stepped into the kitchen and the man turned, causing her to stop in her tracks.
“Wallace. I wasn’t expecting you.”
A friendly smile split his face, causing the wrinkles around his eyes to deepen. “Good morning. I hope you don’t mind, but I thought I’d make breakfast.”
S
he looked at the stack of pancakes beside the stove. Wallace slid the spatula under the pancake cooking in the skillet, turning it over with a flick of his wrist. “Where’s Corbin?” She’d not expected him to leave without telling her where he’d gone. Was he ticked at her because of last night? Her heart dropped. Probably.
“He went to the store … something about buying some sausage and flour for biscuits and getting a certain little lady a decent set of pajamas.”
“Oh.” Wow. Impressive. Here she was thinking Corbin had left her high and dry and he was doing something nice. Guilt washed over her. She hated how she was always so quick to assume the worst about men. She thought of something. “How did Corbin get out in all the snow? The roads must be iced over.” In Alabama, everything shut down when there were a few inches of snow; she couldn’t imagine what it would be like with several feet.
“The private drive leading out to the main road’s a little dicey because it doesn’t get plowed. But everything else is clear.”
“Does anything ever shut down because of the snow?”
“Not normally, unless we have a blizzard.”
As far as Delaney was concerned, it had come a blizzard. But Wallace was acting like the storm was a normal event. Then again, it was Colorado.
“The ski resort will be happy to get the snow. We’ve had a dry winter.” He motioned. “Have a seat.”
“Can I help with anything?”
“Thanks, but it’s ready.” He slid the pancake to the top of the stack, then turned off the stovetop, wiping his hands on a dishtowel.
The Reckless Warrior (Navy SEAL Romance) Page 13
