by Sarina Dorie
“I want you.” I unbuttoned his shirt, kissing the scar over his heart. “I need you to make love to me.”
He undressed slowly, hindered by our clumsy attempts to remain locked in each other’s embrace as he did so. Every place his naked skin touched mine burned with desire. My very skin felt on fire.
I am still in control, I told myself. I had to be.
He craned his neck and stooped to capture my lips in his. I squeezed him closer, desperation in my kisses. This would be the last time we would be together. His erection pressed against me, nudging me with insistence. I took hold of him. He moaned into my hair.
About two seconds later we fell into bed. He took things slow, ever the considerate gentleman. It was easy to pretend nothing was amiss. He was attentive as he made love to me, perhaps more so than our first time, though it was hard to judge anything without bias at the moment.
My gaze kept drifting to the scar over his heart.
“The eyes are up here.” He pointed to his face and smiled.
I tried to smile. I knew that was the correct response. The smile slipped away as the pulsing need of desire consumed me.
I came quickly and when I did, I held on to the magic inside me wanting to escape. Fireworks went off in my core, the intensity of my affinity almost too powerful to contain. It crashed against me in waves.
When it subsided, I found Derrick watching me, his eyes full of affection. He kissed my nose. “Another position?”
With another position came another orgasm. This one was easier to contain. I was aware of Derrick’s own pleasure rippling through me, sinking into my affinity and building it up. After the third orgasm, I noticed the pattern of what he was doing. He was using his energy to contain mine. He built an armory inside me to hold the Red affinity in. Each time his reinforcements dissolved, I absorbed them as if they were my own energy.
“How are you doing that?” I asked. “You’re turning your energy into mine.”
“Practice.”
I was too distracted at the moment to wonder whom he might have practiced with. This magic was different from anything I had learned from Thatch or Elric. We must have made love for hours. He showed me how to wick away his own pleasure and to drain him of magic. I suspected it wasn’t that different from how one could wick away pain from someone else. It wasn’t that different from giving someone energy as I had to Thatch, but this was more delicious. More addictive.
I was greedy, wanting more.
At one point, feet thundered outside the room. I turned my head to gaze at the door.
He smoothed my hair from my face. “It’s locked. They won’t get in.”
Those words reminded me of another time. Someone else had said that to me. I was too far gone to care about anything. It didn’t even cross my mind someone might come in. I kept staring at the door, though, listening to the pounding of feet. They thudded in rhythm to my own heartbeat.
“You’re fine,” he said. “It’s just the crew. They’re probably distracted because they realized I released the prisoners and set course straight into the heart of the Raven Queen’s territory. That’s all.”
The Raven Court? A rush of magic drowned out my worries. I quickly forgot about what he said. I had way better things to focus on.
The finale came, crescendo after crescendo. It was hard to tell the difference between the pleasure of the body and the rush of magic. This beat a muse’s magical orgasms. I could get used to this.
Afterward, I lay in his arms, too exhausted to do anything else. At the moment of orgasm, it had felt incredible, but now I felt oddly . . . empty. It wasn’t for a lack of magic. Something else was missing.
The sex had been physically fulfilling, but it hadn’t been spiritually satisfying. Not like the time I’d turned into a dragon and visited that other realm in the stars with Felix Thatch.
I should have felt more guilt about my infidelity, but I was still too high on magic to think rationally.
“I dare you to tell me you’ve had better sex than this,” Derrick said.
I yawned. “Not even close.”
He nuzzled my neck. “Not even with a Fae prince?”
I waved that away. “Blah. Royalty is highly overrated.” I couldn’t remember what it had been like with Elric. Every other memory was far away. This moment was the only moment.
He winked at me. “That’s just a taste of what’s to come.”
“Heh. Is that supposed to be a pun?” I stretched, trying to dislodge the strange tension in my muscles. It wasn’t the ache from physical exertion, it was more of a yearning. Perhaps yearning for more.
He poked me in the side. I laughed, squirming away until I couldn’t stand the distance between us any longer. I snuggled against him, basking in the perfection of our love.
Was it only hours ago that I had considered using him to build up my magic so that I could kill him? That plan seemed like a faraway dream.
I closed my eyes. “How do you have enough magic for this? Lightning?” Maybe he would teach me how to call lightning on purpose next. Or to handle it safely.
“I had to fill up on touch magic before I returned to the room.” He spoke so nonchalantly, I almost dismissed what he was saying as a normal, everyday occurrence, like a Celestor drinking in starlight or a fire Elementia warming herself before a campfire.
I struggled to fight my fatigue. “So you had to masturbate beforehand?”
“Um… . No.” His shoulder muscles bunched under my hand.
Immediately, I was aware of the change in him. Not a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde change, but a subtle shift, like guilt hooking its claws under the skin. I knew the telltale signs of shame all too well. I didn’t even need to project my awareness in order to do so.
He glanced away. “Don’t worry about it. It wasn’t anyone important. Just Anderson.”
I could hardly fathom what he meant. Had he drained her? Killed her? Raped her?
“What did you do? Did you hurt her?” I sat up.
“No! Why would I need to do that? She likes me.” He waved a hand at himself, using his cheesy voice. “Who wouldn’t want this stud muffin? The ladies can’t resist.” He flexed his bicep.
“So you slept with her? Tonight? Before you slept with me?”
He glanced away. “I wouldn’t have been able to give you so much magic if I hadn’t.”
I stared at him, incredulous. I’d just had unprotected sex with a man I thought loved me, who wouldn’t want anyone else. The betrayal stung.
“Don’t you see? I would do anything for you. Just like you’ll do anything for me.” He offered me a hopeful smile.
Chills skittered down my spine.
It occurred to me then I had missed my opportunity to do anything practical with my magic when I’d had the chance. I’d allowed myself to become drunk on pleasure. Now as my high wore off and fatigue bore down on me, I was too exhausted to do anything.
He stroked my hair away from my face. “Rest now. You have a big day ahead of you.”
That was the understatement of the year.
It was still dark when I woke, the gray ebb of dawn a hint in the sky through the round window above Derrick’s bed. I had gotten hours less sleep than I usually did, but energy surged through me, making me more awake than a morning person with a triple-shot mocha under her belt.
Derrick was gone. He’d left me an apple on the white set of clothes on the dresser.
I freshened myself the best I could in his bathroom and dressed, but I couldn’t rid myself of the stickiness of dried sweat on my skin. I felt dirty inside, my magic grimy and tainted in a way I had never felt before. The clothes he’d left me were loose, but they didn’t fall off. They were clean at least. The white shirt and pants looked too pristine for how dark my mood felt.
I didn’t know if I should eat the apple. Derrick might have claimed to be on my side, but he still wanted me to join the Raven Queen. I kept thinking about Snow Whi
te swallowing the wicked queen’s poison.
I was just finishing the spell to detect poisons and curses when Derrick walked in. His cheerful smile faded as his gaze drifted to the sparkles of purple-and-green magic around the apple.
His eyebrows drew together. “Find any . . . poison?”
I didn’t want it to sound like I was suspicious of him. Even though I was. Nor would it do to give him reason to grow suspicious of me.
“Don’t you always check your food?” I asked, trying to sound casual about it. I didn’t trust him enough not to fear him.
“Not when someone I trust gives it to me. It’s a bit excessive otherwise.”
If I provoked his ire, I might release the demon inside him from his curse. I tried to think of an adequate excuse. “I’ve gotten into the habit of it at school. After my chocolate was poisoned.” By him. Too late I remembered that detail.
He nodded. “Yeah, okay. I get it.”
I bit into the apple, less hungry than before.
He sat down on the bed, eyes round and wounded. He held out a hand to me. I didn’t want to touch him. He would use touch magic to make me complacent, but I couldn’t let him know I was on to him.
Reluctantly, I set the apple aside and took his hand. “What’s going to happen?”
“I imagine she’ll be here to collect us soon.”
That sounded ominous.
“Are you scared?” he asked.
“Me? No. Not a chance.”
He laughed. “That makes one of us.”
The ceiling creaked above us. The ship lurched.
“I think it’s time to get to the top decks,” he said.
I didn’t know if I could do this. My stomach churned, unsettled by the unknown of what I would be facing. Again, I thought of Elric’s amulet and decided against using it.
The ship was as silent as a graveyard as we rose from the bowels of the ship. The light of dawn came from up ahead, painting the sky in a bright palette of colors that cast away the gloom.
The decks above were absent of crew. Aside from the wind pummeling the balloon above, the air was eerily quiet. Gone was the singing and yelling of the crew I had noticed the day before. A red stain marred the quarter deck, where the captain might stand and overlook the sailors below. At the helm stood one from the Raven Court. A man with a bird beak for a nose watched us pass with beady black eyes.
“Where is everyone?” I asked.
“Sleeping.” Derrick smiled.
“Are they really sleeping? Or dead?” I asked.
“Sleeping. They wouldn’t be any good to us dead,” he said firmly. “It will be easier that way. They won’t fight. We can offer them as a tithe to the queen. Fae like gifts. It softens them up for bartering.”
“You would be giving her the crew you worked with? Your friends?” These were the people who had respected and trusted him.
The idea horrified me that he would suggest it.
“Sometimes sacrifices have to be made.” He squeezed my shoulder.
I pressed my lips into a line, knowing it wasn’t safe to speak my mind. I couldn’t reason with someone so brainwashed. I couldn’t change evil. I could understand now how hard it was for Thatch every time he saw his sister Odette. She was dead inside.
Just like Derrick.
As dawn approached, the sky turned pink and gold, the world around us looking like cotton candy and honey. The ship passed through fluffy clouds. Through the haze, a black speck approached from the horizon behind us, growing in size. Because it came from the aft of the ship, that’s where we went, watching the gloom of darkness surrounding the figure.
The wind picked up, and the ship lurched again. Perhaps with so few people manning a giant ship, it wasn’t doing so well. It flew lower than it had the day before, only twice the height of the school towers. I didn’t know much about the workings of a steamship, but I understood one needed water and fire to create steam.
Derrick held my hand, watching the queen approach. I couldn’t make out any details other than the flapping of wings. After another moment, it became apparent she wasn’t flying with her own wings. She was on a pegasus. She came alone, without a flock of birds.
“I wish I’d brought the captain’s telescope,” Derrick said.
A black head of hair whipped every which way in the wind, obscuring her face. She was clad in gray, not black, blending in with the body of a horned pegasus. That’s when I knew it wasn’t the Raven Queen. It could only be Felix Thatch.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Cyborgs Have Hearts Too
Hope filled my heart. Thatch was here! He had found me and come to save me.
Beside me, Derrick swore under his breath, realizing who it was only a few seconds after I did.
“There!” the man with the bird beak pointed. He squawked and said something I couldn’t understand. I thought he’d gotten his feathers in a ruffle because of Thatch, but it wasn’t that.
Up ahead, a swarm of dots clustered on the horizon, black silhouettes against hot-pink clouds. It looked like a flock of birds, but they were too bulky. Their formation wasn’t a single chevron but rows.
“Friend or foe?” Derrick asked the bird man.
“It’s our queen. It must be. She sends reinforcements.”
Derrick placed his hands on my shoulders. “Thatch is going to try to take you from me. You know that, don’t you? He’ll kill me.”
“No, he won’t.” I bit my lip, stepping closer to the railing as Thatch approached. “He knows I wouldn’t forgive him if he did.” Thatch did know it. He would find another way.
Derrick took my face in his hands, his eyes speaking more words than he said out loud. “Sometimes people do what they think they need to. They save forgiveness for another time.”
Those words sank into me, feeling like they were meant for me. The Raven Queen was coming. I would have to make a choice. I would have to kill someone. Today would be the day I would be like my mother.
I stepped in front of Derrick. “He won’t be as inclined to hurt you if I stand in front of you.”
He took me by the shoulders, firmly shifting me aside. “I’m not using you as a human shield.”
Tears filled my eyes. That was my Derrick again, not the heartless man suffering from a curse.
“If we can delay him, the Raven Queen will save us from him. He probably doesn’t even know she’s approaching,” Derrick said.
That was what I feared. I tried to appeal to his logic. “If she kills him, she’ll say she did us a favor, and then we’ll owe her one, won’t we? We’ll be in her debt.”
Derrick tried to tug me farther from the rails. “I’ve changed my mind about you being up here. Let’s get below.”
The wind whipped my hair into my face. “No. We need to end this. Once and for all.”
“What do you mean? Do you want me to try to kill him?” Derrick glanced again at the approaching pegasus, his Adam’s apple bobbing in apprehension.
“No. I have to be the one who does the killing.” My heart was heavy as I said it. It was the only way. I would only have one chance at this.
Derrick nodded. “Yes, you do. You’re the one who has the deepest reservoir of magic at the moment.”
Thatch was getting closer. The sky was as scarlet as blood behind him. I could make out the horn on the pegasus, a shade of burlap like what the unicorns of the forest possessed. Bart could magic himself wings, but this wasn’t Bart. His horn was black. I suspected that meant he truly was dead.
“I can’t use my affinity unless I draw it out,” I said. “I need your help.”
Derrick nodded. “Of course. Anything for you.”
Staring into his eyes, I knew he was completely sincere, which made the task I needed to do even harder. He loved me in his evil way.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and stood on tiptoe. He stooped so I could reach him better. The kiss felt rushed, frantic, not so much passionat
e as desperate. It reflected my fears. I could only imagine how much this would hurt Thatch seeing me kiss Derrick.
Derrick’s tongue brushed against mine. His fingers skimmed my back, just above the waist of my pants. We’d made love for hours the night before. I thought I’d exhausted all the ardor that could possibly have been housed inside me, but I was wrong. The warmth of Derrick’s arms made me feel safe and secure. I willed myself to remember that paradise was as false as a mirage.
Desire sparked inside me. My affinity responded in turn. Already I was so full of magic it didn’t take much to awaken it. Never before had I stored up so much power. I let it ripple through me unrestrained. I gathered the lightning, compressing it, readying myself to strike.
I couldn’t miss. I couldn’t hold back.
I placed my hand on Derrick’s chest and drew away from his lips. His eyes were still closed, his expression peaceful. He had no idea what I was about to do.
I sent the electricity through his mechanical heart. He arched back against the rail, and I had to lean into him to retain contact. Red arcs of energy shot into him. Flashes of light danced over his skin. The gears housed in his chest lurched and stopped beating. He swayed.
His brow furrowed with pain. The expression slipped away, sorrow painted across his features.
“I’m sorry,” I said. I pushed him over the rail.
There was no chance of him flying or changing his mind this time. He was already dead.
I hadn’t been bad like Alouette Loraline.
I was worse.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
May the Fae Be Ever in Your Favor
The ship listed to the side. I turned to see the Raven Court rapidly approaching. The man at the helm was gone. We were so low now we were yards above a forest of trees.
Thatch was close now, his steed charging forward.
I pointed to the deck below. “We have to save them. They’re all asleep.”
I didn’t know if he could hear me. The unicorn pegasus came trampling onto the deck, struggling to slow.
Thatch stretched out his arms to me. “Come on. Before they arrive.”
