The Healing Season

by Catherine Evans

  ‘Umm, about Paul …’ She hesitated and his hands clenched. ‘Does it bother you?’

  For a moment he wasn’t sure what she was asking, then he realised. He hadn’t had a relationship before, she had. It didn’t worry him in the slightest. He hoped his inexperience didn’t trouble her. ‘We all have a past. We can’t escape that. If you can cope with mine, I can cope with yours.’ He cleared his throat. He needed to explain his inexperience. ‘Before Dulili, I never intended to stay anywhere, so haven’t had a relationship. Taking it slow is good.’

  ‘Thanks, Lach. We’ll take things slow, for both of us.’ Unwrapping her arms, she stood and stretched. ‘I should get home.’ She took a step down from the verandah, turned and rubbed her arms. He rose from the rocker, walked to her and caught a hand. Lightly holding her hand in his, they headed to her ute.

  He was comfortable holding her hand. Comfortable even after that awkward discussion. He wanted to make sure she was okay.

  ‘Thanks for coming out here, Alicia. That would’ve been hard.’

  She turned and their gazes caught, highlighted by the little moonlight there was.

  Her lips turned up and her eyes held sparkles. She touched her fingers against his jaw. ‘It wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be.’

  They shared a smile, soft, gentle and filled with promise. He thought about kissing her but it was enough to feel the warmth and pressure of her fingertips on his face.

  She smiled as she moved her hand away. ‘Thank you for seeing me so late.’

  A kiss would have been pushing too hard tonight. He squeezed her hand lightly before letting go.

  ‘Thanks for coming. Good night, Alicia.’

  She took the step to the door and opened it. ‘Good night, Lachlan.’ She settled into the seat.

  He closed her door, his hand resting on the roof as he leaned down. He was beaming but so was she. Kind of goofy but something was building between them. ‘Drive safely,’ he said. The engine started and she left.

  He watched her until the red taillights no longer dipped in and out along the driveway. He wondered how she felt driving away from the house she’d always thought would be hers. Or didn’t she think about that anymore? He wondered if her chest was full of hope and the beginnings of dreams. His was. He rubbed his hands across his chest and turned to the house.

  Would he live here with her one day? Or was that too creepy? Like living someone else’s life. He might go to Orange on Saturday and see if Dulili had any places for sale. He could make an investment in the future, their future, or was that rushing things? Maybe if he didn’t say anything, just had a look at what was available, he could think about settling here. He could think about investing in his future, without rushing ahead.

  Before he walked up the stairs, he took a deep breath. Tonight had come out of the blue. Magic happened when you least expected it. The eerie call of a frogmouth broke the silence, making him stop and laugh. ‘Thanks for keeping quiet, mate. It might have been awkward knowing you were watching me.’

  When he looked in the surrounding trees for the bird, a shooting star lit up the night sky and caught his gaze. He grinned as he made a wish. Then he shook his finger towards the tree where the frogmouth often sat. ‘Don’t you tell anyone I did that.’

  Chapter 13

  Early on Sunday morning Alicia’s phone rang. She grabbed hold of it and swiped to answer before she’d opened her eyes. ‘Hello,’ she said trying hard not to sound like she’d just woken but knowing she’d failed.

  ‘Sorry to wake you.’ Her muscles tensed and her eyes popped open.

  ‘Lachlan.’ She hadn’t seen or heard from him yesterday and it made her wonder if Friday night was a dream. Maybe she’d fallen asleep on the stool out the back and imagined she’d driven out to Bullock Hill.

  ‘I was coming in to town and wondered if you had plans for the day?’

  ‘Just work stuff,’ she mumbled before correcting herself. ‘No, I have no plans. What are you thinking?’

  ‘Brunch in the café? Maybe a trip to Orange, if you feel like a movie?’

  ‘Sounds good to me.’ Heart racing. They were friends again … or maybe more.

  ‘Will I meet you at the café in thirty minutes, or do you need longer?’

  She chuckled. ‘Thirty minutes is fine.’ How long did he think she needed to wake up? Hearing his voice had woken her immediately.

  When they hung up, she bounded from bed and had the fastest shower in history because she would agonise over what to wear—mostly because all she owned were jeans and shirts, and Lachlan had seen all of them.

  After rummaging through everything, she finally decided that she wasn’t going to a fashion show so it didn’t matter what she wore. It hadn’t mattered last weekend. She had to stop worrying. A pair of dark jeans and a mauve shirt with a black jumper would do.

  Twenty-seven minutes after his call, she was closing the front door. Lachlan was stepping onto the curb.

  ‘Good morning.’ They both said simultaneously and then chuckled together. Like a romantic sitcom and that made her feel ridiculous. She was with Lachlan, in Dulili, exactly the same as last week.

  ‘Starving yet?’ Her voice was normal and gave no indication of her inner silliness. Thank goodness.

  ‘Getting there.’ He smiled and together they walked to the café, arms brushing with each step. It wasn’t uncomfortable at all but gave Alicia little tingles of pleasure.

  Lachlan ordered a steak sandwich with the lot, and she asked for a bacon and egg roll. Then they found a table away from the other people who must be visitors. She nodded her head as they walked past but she didn’t know them.

  She leaned close to Lachlan as a thought grabbed her. ‘Lach, the menu. I never asked if you could read it.’

  He gave a tight smile. ‘Some. Most, actually. The things I can’t read, I figure I don’t want.’

  She scrunched her nose. ‘You might be missing out on something scrumptious.’ Picking up the menu, she browsed through. ‘Croissants?’ She pointed to the word.

  ‘I don’t even know what they are when you say the word.’

  ‘They’re French, and pastry, and can be gorgeous fresh.’ She leaned closer and whispered. ‘I’ll get you one in Orange. They’re not as good here but don’t say I said that.’

  Lachlan pressed his finger against his lips. They were plump, dark pink, and looked soft. So soft.

  Alicia dragged her gaze away before her mind went off on a tangent. She grabbed the menu tighter, and spread it out in front of him. ‘So, which ones don’t you know?’

  His finger traced across the text, hovered over a few words but moved on. His lips moved when his finger hovered and that made her smile. His finger tapped the page. ‘I’m guessing this is raspberry but it’s a guess.’

  She nodded. ‘Good guess. How did you work that out?’

  He shrugged and gave her a strange kind of look, part amusement, part hesitant. ‘It goes with jam, on scones, and starts with ‘r’. There weren’t a lot of guesses to make.’

  Her eyes widened and she nodded. ‘Impressive.’ And it was. She liked the way his logic worked, the way he didn’t panic but worked around the problem. She wished her mother could do that.

  He frowned for a second and then looked up and beamed. ‘Wow. I didn’t realise I could read all of it.’

  They were still staring at each other with dopey smiles when breakfast arrived. The food smelled delicious and they wasted no time in eating.

  Alicia was sure the food was fabulous but she couldn’t taste a thing. She ate robotically, paying a ridiculous amount of attention to her plate. She could burst with pride, yet that made her feel like a proud mother and she wasn’t. He’d done all the hard work. She’d only encouraged and helped when he needed it.

  ‘Is your food okay?’

  She looked up. ‘I guess.’ She swallowed and gave him a grin. The words came out even as she knew she shouldn’t say them. ‘I’m just so damn proud of you, I
could burst.’ His eyes flared wide and his chest pulled back from the table. She gulped. ‘Sorry. I know that’s ridiculous and over the top. I shouldn’t have said it but I couldn’t keep it in.’

  He shook his head, then his shoulders wriggled. He bit his lips together. His lips moved as if he was chewing them, or running his tongue against them, or fighting back words, or laughter. She should have shut up. She stared at her plate again and finished eating her breakfast.

  His fingers curled over her forearm and squeezed lightly. ‘Alicia?’ It was a question, so she had to answer. Had to look up and say something.

  ‘Yes?’ She met his gaze and there was something there she wasn’t expecting. He wasn’t laughing, or embarrassed. There was something soft and gentle lurking in those green depths that she couldn’t identify.

  ‘Thank you.’

  When he didn’t say anything else, and she had no idea what he was thanking her for, she had to ask. ‘For what?’

  His throat did a great gulp, Adam’s apple bobbing hard. His lips got caught up together again. He sucked in a huge breath and said, ‘For being proud of me.’ In reply to the frown that tightened and scrunched her forehead, he said, ‘No one’s ever said that.’

  She reached for his hand. ‘Oh, Lach.’ Their fingers clasped awkwardly, moved, then met in a more usual grip. She was choking with emotion. Sadness that he’d never known someone to be proud of his achievements. Gratitude that she’d said something when she was so close to not saying anything at all. Not to mention a whole jumble of some other emotion that was probably best not to name.

  He gave a smile that was tinged with a little sadness. ‘Do you still want to go to Orange?’

  Their friendship was so new and so tenuous. Once strong emotions surfaced, they were both careful and hesitant with each other. She wondered if he felt as she did. She hoped they’d get beyond this uneasiness and learn to trust each other’s feelings. For now, she enjoyed his care and steadiness.

  She squeezed his hand, agreeing to the plan. They left the café and made the trip to Orange. Except for talking about work, they remained comfortably silent.

  There was an action comedy they hadn’t seen, so they bought tickets and grabbed a couple of bottles of water to get them through the hours under air conditioning. Not accustomed to working in air con, Alicia got dehydrated after being in the dry air for any length of time.

  He led her to the back row of the cinema. Her heart rate picked up speed. She hadn’t thought this through. The back row of a darkened cinema meant he’d expect her to kiss him and she wasn’t ready. She licked her lips and decided to be clear that she wanted to watch the movie, without distractions, and hope she didn’t upset him. Why on earth had she agreed to the movies? And then let him pick the seats?

  ‘I hope you don’t mind but I like watching the movie.’ Was that tactful enough, or too subtle?

  He turned and was grinning. ‘I like watching too but I hate being too close to the screen.’

  A huge breath rushed from her lungs but she had to let it out carefully so it wouldn’t seem like she was relieved. She didn’t want him to take it the wrong way. Her heart settled into a normal rhythm and she wiped her hands down her jeans-clad thighs. She was free to watch the movie.

  Lachlan’s body heat warmed one side of her. In the darkness the sense of intimacy was heightened and she sat a little further away and a little straighter. She wasn’t uncomfortable being with him, she just didn’t want to be sending mixed signals. Watching the movie was fine. Being friends was great. Anything else was still terrifying, even if she had been looking at him with more interest.

  The movie started and she forgot to worry. For the next two hours, they laughed together, prodded each other in the ribs, clapped, gasped, and chuckled. Being at the movies created magic and they were swept up by it. She was more relaxed than she had been in ages, enjoying the freedom of having a friend, without the pressure of having a boyfriend.

  When they came out of the movies, still talking about their favourite parts, she turned her phone on. There was a message, which was pretty unusual. She opened the message, expecting it to be work, and chuckled.

  ‘Something good?’ Lachlan asked.

  She shook her head. ‘It’s not bad but it depends on your definition of good.’ Lachlan cocked his head which made her explain further. ‘You know Carol Smith, Alan’s wife? I had dinner with them Friday at the pub, with their three kids.’ He nodded. ‘She says she’s having a barbeque tonight and wants to know if I can kid wrangle. Then she says, “heard you might need practice, you were seen at café”.’

  Lachlan stopped and stared. She tried to hold in her laughter, biting her lips together hard. But she couldn’t contain it. Between chuckles, she jabbed her finger at his chest while saying, ‘Hey, you were the one defending the nosey Dulili folk not that long ago.’

  ‘We have brunch and now we’re having children?’ He was astounded. His voice increased in pitch so it was quite high by the end of his question. Her lips twitched.

  ‘That’s life in a small town. Show interest in someone and the town has your whole life planned within thirty minutes.’

  His face pulled into a weird expression. ‘How do you handle that?’ Before she could answer, he followed with another question. ‘Does this happen with everyone you’ve ever been friends with?’

  She shrugged and waggled her head. ‘Paul and I were friends since we were kids, so I never noticed what people said. I grew up with them so I didn’t know any different. After he died, that’s when it changed for me. People said things I didn’t want to hear. I felt I was being pushed into living how others expected me to.’ She took a deep gulp. ‘It’s probably why I reacted so badly to my folks.’

  A deep shaky breath dragged into her lungs. ‘To offset the bad, sometimes people say gorgeous things that melt your heart. I guess you have to accept the good with the bad. I haven’t been doing that very well but luckily people gave me leeway.’

  Lachlan opened and closed his mouth a couple of times as if he was fighting for words.

  ‘Don’t let it stress you, Lach. So long as you and I are happy and know where we’re at, just ignore the stories. I will be.’

  ‘But your friend just told you one, to your face,’ he waved his hands at her phone. ‘Sort of.’

  ‘Umm, yeah.’ She thought for a while about how to explain that. ‘We laugh at the gossip sometimes. I might have left that out. Good friends look out for one another, and make sure you keep your humour.’

  ‘So Carol’s telling you what’s being said but laughing at it too?’

  ‘Yeah. It’s like she’s covering my back. She’s letting me know what the gossip is, so it won’t upset me if I hear some other time, or some other way, or on a worse day, or something.’ She drew a breath. It was Carol’s way of protecting her. It was always better to hear this stuff from a friend and laugh about it before you had time to steam up over it. Was she explaining it enough so he’d understand? It was kind of the heart of small towns. If he was going to settle here, he’d have to understand and live with it.

  ‘Okay.’ He stared at her for a long time but asked no further questions. She guessed he must have understood what she was saying, or maybe he was too confused to question further. They walked towards the vehicle. When they were almost there, he said, ‘Do you want to head back for Carol’s barbeque?’

  She leaned her hand against the door waiting for the remote to open it. ‘Umm, I don’t mind. Do you want to do more in Orange? She won’t care if I text back a no.’

  ‘I don’t have anything I need to do here.’

  She nodded as she opened the door and then settled into the seat. ‘Well, do you want to stop at the shops and I’ll grab some stuff to take to dinner?’

  ‘Oh, umm, sure.’ He seemed uneasy about doing that.

  ‘Did you want to do something else?’ She looked at him closely trying to figure out what was wrong but he gave nothing away. He drove to the supermarket w
hile she texted. Then they grabbed lots of goodies that Dulili didn’t stock.

  Almost eighty dollars later, Lachlan laughed as he helped to carry the load. ‘That’s one heck of a good meal she must be cooking you.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Eighty dollars for dinner’s a bit steep.’ He grinned to soften the sting of his words.

  ‘I know. I over shopped.’ She loaded in the last bag of goodies. ‘But really, if you think about it, if we went to dinner in Orange and had a good meal, we’d probably come close to that.’

  ‘But that’s both of us.’

  She stopped and frowned, grabbing his arm before he walked away. ‘So’s this.’ She waved her other hand at the goodies in the car. Then caught his expression. ‘You’re invited too, you know.’

  ‘Me? Why?’

  She chuckled. ‘Umm, because you’re here with me. I told her you were here. You didn’t think I’d make you drive me back and not offer…’ The look on his face told her differently. She grabbed his arm and hugged it. ‘Oh, no, you did. You’re welcome to come too, Lachlan. You said you had nothing else to do so I just assumed that meant you’d come with me. I’m sorry.’ She let his arm go.

  ‘I can’t just turn up uninvited.’

  She waved at the goodies. She flashed her phone under his nose. ‘You’re invited. You’ll be bearing gifts. You’ll be more than welcome. And if you’re any good with kids, you’ll be invited more often than you probably care to go.’ She chuckled to make sure he knew she was joking but then she clarified that because she’d already assumed once and now felt like a dill because of it. ‘I’m only kidding.’

  ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘It’s bush hospitality. I’m sure.’ They hopped into his ute and headed back toward Dulili. ‘I should warn you that you’ll be put through the question and answer mill.’

  ‘What for?’ He flicked a glance across to her but it was a quick look as they weren’t out of town yet and there was still traffic.