The Healing Season

by Catherine Evans

  Dunstan and Tim arrived to request their bed time story. Alicia was reading with Tim first, Dunstan second. Matt had asked for Lachlan to read to him again. Lachlan’s heart almost burst with pride when Carol asked him, almost apologetically, if he minded.

  ‘I don’t mind at all.’ His grin made his cheeks hurt. Alicia gave him a nudge in the ribs as he went to Matt’s room.

  Matt was in bed, the blankets and sheets tucked under his chin, looking almost half asleep already. But his grin, when Lachlan walked in, was almost blinding.

  ‘Can we read the caterpillar again?’ he asked.

  ‘Sure.’ Lachlan thought he was getting away too easily but he wasn’t sure he should argue.

  ‘Wow. Really? Aren’t you bored? Mum and Dad get bored.’ Matt looked so serious.

  Lachlan sat beside Matt and held the book in both hands. ‘Matt, I’ll never forget this book. It’s the first book I’ve ever read.’

  ‘Your first book?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Ever?’

  Lachlan chuckled before he explained. ‘Alicia’s been teaching me to read. I didn’t know how.’

  ‘Oh wow. It’s my favourite book.’ Matt frowned before he wriggled out of bed. In bare feet he padded across to his bookcase. He pointed at a few books. ‘Have you ever read this one?’ When Lachlan shook his head, Matt pulled it out. ‘How about this?’ The pattern went on until Matt had about ten books piled on the floor beside the bed. ‘You should take these home and read them, Lach. They’re the best ones.’

  How the kid had crept under his guard so easily was beyond Lachlan. He blinked quickly and took in the pile of books and the cute kid offering his favourite stories.

  ‘Thanks, Matt, but I can’t take your books.’

  ‘Borrow them. Like a library.’

  Lachlan smiled. ‘I think you should ask your Mum when she comes in before you give away your books.’

  ‘But you’ll give them back.’ Matt’s faith in him was heart-warming and Lachlan ruffled his hair.

  ‘How about you jump into bed and we’ll read the caterpillar. Then you can ask your Mum when I’ve finished, okay?’

  Matt agreed with some reluctance and together they read the caterpillar again. When they reached the end, Matt’s eyes were struggling to stay open.

  ‘I like when you point to the words. No one else does that to help me.’

  Lachlan grinned and resisted telling Matt that he did it to help himself read, not to help Matt. He ruffled Matt’s hair and wished him a good sleep.

  On his way out, Carol pointed to another bedroom with the door open and the light on, and Lachlan poked his head inside the door.

  Dunstan was reading his book out loud to Alicia who was sitting in a chair beside his bed. It was an adventure story. Lachlan became caught up by the words, wishing he was part of the tale, fighting dragons with his trusty sword. Dunstan read well, his hesitations slight, and he managed to have some animation in his voice. Lachlan hadn’t managed that with the caterpillar. Saying the words had been struggle enough.

  Soon Dunstan stopped. ‘That’s the end of the chapter,’ he said slowly.

  Alicia stretched and got out of the chair. ‘That’s an awesome story, Dunst.’

  He grinned, agreeing with her, then said, ‘Did you like it too, Lach?’

  Alicia spun around, her eyebrows lifting as she saw him. She gave him a look that he couldn’t quite read.

  ‘It’s the best story I’ve ever heard.’

  Dunstan grinned, completely satisfied with the answer.

  Alicia and Lachlan headed back to the kitchen while Carol and Alan did the tucking in and lights out routine.

  ‘How did you go?’ she asked him softly as she filled the kettle.

  He squeezed her shoulder and he leaned close. ‘Thank you so much for teaching me to read. I told Matt.’ She turned her head and stared. He knew she was silently asking him to explain, so he did. ‘I told him I’d only just learned to read and that was my first ever book.’

  Alicia’s eyes welled and she blinked quickly. ‘What did he say?’

  Lachlan rubbed the heel of his hand along his jawline before he gripped the bench. ‘He said he’d lend me some of his books.’ He swallowed a great big gulp. ‘He got out his favourite stories. To share with me. I said he had to ask his Mum first.’

  She nodded and wrapped her hand around his as it clenched the bench. When he looked down at her thumb stroking across his knuckles, he noticed how tightly he gripped the bench. As he relaxed his hold, she said, ‘You’re the bravest man I know.’

  Before he could react, Carol stepped into the kitchen and cleared her throat.

  Alicia didn’t rush away but turned to Carol. He turned around too. Carol had the pile of Matt’s books in her hands and a completely puzzled look on her face.

  ‘Lach, Matt said you wanted to borrow his books?’ She shifted uncomfortably and put them down on the table. ‘Don’t feel you have to take them. I’ll hide them for a day and he’ll forget you were going to. You don’t need kids’ books.’

  Lachlan looked at Alicia, then at Carol. ‘Will he mind if I do borrow them?’

  Carol laughed. ‘I would have said yes but you’ve done something to him. He was really keen for you to borrow them. What did you say to cause that?’

  Lachlan rubbed his jaw and glanced again at Alicia. She was biting her lips. The kettle whistled but everyone ignored it.

  He turned to face Carol. It was time for the truth. To admit his faults to his new friends. ‘I read my first book tonight, Carol. I told him how pleased that made me and that his books were just right for me. That’s what I told him.’

  ‘Oh, Lach, that’s sweet. He’ll always remember your kind words.’ Carol smiled and tipped her head as if assessing him differently, maybe from her three-year-old son’s perspective. It was pretty obvious she thought he was only being nice.

  ‘It’s not sweet, it’s the truth. Alicia has spent months helping me learn to read.’

  The silence in the kitchen was huge. Alan blundered right into it. ‘What’s the—’ His words stopped as he looked between them. Awkward silences have a thickness to them.

  Carol looked down at the books, up at Lachlan, then at Alicia, and back to the books. Alan followed her gaze. ‘What’s up?’ he asked softly.

  Carol didn’t seem to know what to say. Her lips parted but she closed them again.

  Lachlan had to say it again. ‘Matt offered to loan me some of his books. I’ve only just learned to read.’

  Alan blinked twice. ‘Wow. Mate. Matt never loans his books. You must have really hit it off with him.’

  Carol snapped out of her trance and moved. She grabbed Lachlan’s forearm and squeezed. ‘Thank you.’ She passed him the pile of books, turned to Alicia, nodded, then began to make a pot of coffee. She moved to the fridge to get out the milk.

  Unable to move until the closing of the fridge door snapped him out of the trance, Lachlan then put the books on the edge of the table. His heart raced as he ran his fingers across the spines. Ten books for him to read. Kids’ books but he was excited. Were they stories like the one Dunstan read? Or fun tales like the caterpillar? He’d have to wait to see. He’d definitely read one when he got home.

  Soon, everyone was seated around the table, talking, sipping coffee and eating the decadent chocolate cake Carol produced from the back of the fridge.

  ‘I’ll probably embarrass you saying this but Lach, I think it’s tremendous that you’ve learned to read. And I can’t believe you told Matt. It’ll help him no end. He struggles so much because he wants to be like his brothers.’ Carol took a sip of coffee and blinked a couple of times. ‘Thank you so much.’

  It seemed he wasn’t the only person feeling emotional this evening. He had doubts about reading baby books but the pride in Carol’s voice made his doubts vanish.

  Chapter 15

  Lachlan read one of Matt’s books at night before he went to sleep. Each one thrilled him
as he read it. One was a funny rhyming story that made him laugh when he read it aloud. Another was a bittersweet story he wondered if kids understood. One was fun. One had hidden messages. Each evening he loved escaping to the world of a book.

  Each morning, as dawn woke him, he felt stupid. He was reading kids’ books and enjoying them. What did that say about his mentality? He was ashamed to admit it and every day Alicia would make some mention of Matt’s books and he’d avoid answering. Avoid her.

  On Tuesday night, he read farming magazines but Alicia was disappointed he hadn’t brought one of Matt’s books to read. She asked him to bring one on Thursday night but he couldn’t. He couldn’t bring it in to work. He couldn’t look at them in the daylight. And he couldn’t explain that to her.

  He turned up on Thursday night, dragging his feet as he went up the stairs to her place.

  She didn’t just ask for the book, she ragged him out for not bringing one, as if it was something vital for the evening. As if he’d let her down by not bringing one. As if it would crush his learning not to have brought a book to read.

  He snapped the farming magazine closed and smacked the table. ‘Why is it so important to you that I read a three-year-old’s books?’ He instantly regretted that he sounded so harsh and annoyed.

  She looked anywhere but at him and her fingers wove themselves together and apart. Her feet fidgeted as much as her hands. He’d hurt her.

  He sighed and slumped into the kitchen chair, held his head in his hands. ‘Sorry.’

  She diced the vegetables for dinner. He couldn’t think of anything to say. He stared down at the magazine but he wasn’t reading it. He was cursing himself for all kinds of a fool.

  Then she walked across and rested her hand on his rigid back. The heat soaked in but he couldn’t seem to release the tension, the anger.

  ‘Please talk to me.’ She’d never done it before but she was requesting that he speak, explain himself, and he couldn’t help but answer. She’d waited patiently all week while he struggled alone with his worries. She hadn’t laughed at him yet, so she was hardly likely to now. He had to take a chance. And if he wanted their friendship to go anywhere, he had to trust her. He had to talk to her. He had to share his fears as well as his dreams.

  His shoulders wriggled as he tried to release tension. He had to start at the beginning. Tell her exactly why he couldn’t read. He didn’t want to blame anyone for his faults but his lack of reading wasn’t because he was stupid. He needed her to know that.

  ‘I don’t drink because my mother drank enough alcohol for a couple of lifetimes, at least. I don’t read because she was so drunk she could hardly get me to school. I missed so much school especially before I was old enough to get myself there. When I got there, I was a long way behind. But she never cared. Teachers never seemed to notice.’ His voice was filled with the pain that he’d kept inside for years. He hoped she couldn’t hear it, or recognise it.

  She squeezed his shoulder, then massaged the tense muscles. He sucked in a breath.

  ‘On Sunday night I was so confused. I was excited that I could read. For the first time in my life, I sat with a book on my lap and wasn’t terrified. I read to Matt and it was thrilling. When he gave me his books, I was so torn. It was nice of him to do it. It just sucks that I can only read what a three-year-old does.’ He crunched his soft drink can in his fist.

  ‘Matt can’t read,’ she said as she kneaded his shoulders. ‘You read to him. He doesn’t know how to read.’

  ‘What?’ He couldn’t understand what she was saying. He’d watched Matt read. Watched him stare at his finger and say the words.

  ‘Matt memorises the story. He can’t read the words. You can. You read above a three-year-old’s level.’

  ‘But he said the words I had my finger on.’

  Alicia grasped the back of his neck and rubbed her thumbs into the tension there. Her touch made him jerk, then heat moved from her fingers down his spine. Tension melted.

  ‘He’s heard that story probably most nights for the past year, Lach. He knows the words not because he can read but because he knows how the story goes. He’s heard it so many times he could say it without the book.’

  ‘Oh?’

  She squeezed the tops of his shoulders and he could feel her fingers working now. His tension was slowly slipping away. Her touch was magical.

  ‘I don’t think Tim can read ag magazines, and Dunstan might read some but not all and he wouldn’t understand them.’

  Her explanations didn’t sound right. Could he believe her? ‘Really?’

  ‘Truly. I wouldn’t lie about that.’ She moved slowly and plonked in the chair beside him, her head held up on her hands while her elbows rested on the table. ‘You’re doing fabulously and you’re improving every time you read.’ She drummed her fingertips against the side of her head. ‘You amaze me at how quickly you’ve picked it up, and how much you want to learn.’

  ‘Because I’m different to your Mum?’

  She snorted. ‘Yes. She’s …’ She didn’t finish that thought but changed the subject. ‘I should have explained about the reading before now, Lach. I just don’t know what … you know … what to say, how to say it.’ She reached her hand out to him and rubbed her fingers along his forearm. ‘I’m sorry.’

  He caught her fingers in his and held them against his arm. ‘That’s why we’re taking it slow. Getting to know each other. So we learn that stuff.’ He shrugged. ‘I don’t know either. We’re just working it out. Okay?’

  She nodded.

  ‘I didn’t know how to tell you I was all mixed up.’

  She smiled. ‘It’s okay. I kind of knew what was up but didn’t know what to say. I need to just say something. We both should.’

  ‘I’ll try to do better.’ He ran his fingers through his hair. ‘I’ve never had anyone to talk to, not this honest, personal stuff.’

  She squeezed his fingers and rubbed her thumb across his knuckles.

  Lachlan released her fingers then caught them between his, interweaving them. He looked up, caught her gaze and held it. He’d wanted to say this for a while and maybe tonight she’d given him the chance to say it. ‘It’s your Mum’s choice not to read, Alicia. It’s not your fault. It’s not something you can change or fix. Don’t let her get to you.’

  He wanted Alicia to value what she’d given him but not devalue her mother for not wanting the same thing. Learning wasn’t easy, and without her patience, he wasn’t sure he would have managed. He could understand why her mother wouldn’t have wanted to learn, and why she may not have wanted to learn from her daughter.

  Alicia nodded. ‘It’s not easy. I want her to be so much more. Dad too.’ She dropped her hands and looked at him. ‘But why am I complaining? You had it so much worse.’

  ‘But not now.’ He smiled, hoping she’d see how much hope and support she’d given him and what it meant to him. ‘Now I have the beginning of a new life. It’s more than I ever imagined.’

  ‘Dulili?’

  He made a soft sound in his throat. ‘Yes but it’s more than that. I have a job I love. I’m learning things I never imagined I could. I’m making friends. I feel like I’m fitting in, growing roots, and they’re things I hoped for all my life.’ He gulped. ‘And you, Alicia. Our friendship is really special.’

  Her smile matched his own. ‘It is.’

  They talked about the shop and farming. Then Lachlan tapped the back of her hand. ‘Do you think you’ll work things out with your folks?’

  She shrugged. ‘I need to.’

  ‘Can I help?’

  She smiled sadly, pulled her hands away, and got up to cook dinner.

  He didn’t take her non-answer as a snub, more an avoidance, so while she prepared their meal, he told her about Matt’s books. ‘Even though I’m embarrassed, I’ve read a book each night. They’re incredible. Each one takes me into another world.’

  She looked over her shoulder and her eyes were twinkling. ‘Which on
e’s your favourite?’

  He paused. Looked at his hands, stared around the room. He didn’t know. He thought back over the last few nights and each story was incredible in its own right. ‘I can’t pick,’ he finally said.

  When she laughed, he explained. ‘I know you think that’s a cop out but it’s true. How do you compare a funny rhyming thing with a heart breaking story, with a happy, silly one?’

  ‘I don’t suppose you can,’ she admitted but grinned when she added, ‘But Matty’s going to want to know.’

  He laughed. He could see Matt asking that question with such eagerness. He’d want to know everything Lachlan thought about each book. And then he’d want Lachlan to read them to him.

  Reading had opened up a magical world.

  ‘Do all books make you think you’re in them?’ he asked as she cooked. Whatever she was making smelled delicious. His meals were ordinary so he loved coming here for a good feed.

  ‘A lot do. They’re the ones you treasure.’

  He let her finish cooking. He read a little of the magazine but mostly thought about the stories and tried to decide what he’d say to Matt when he had to pick a favourite.

  After a little while, Alicia made a sound that drew his attention to her. She seemed to have a habit of making a little throat noise before she said something, especially if it was something important or that she’d taken time working out. He looked up and closed the magazine, giving her his full attention.

  ‘I don’t know how to fix things with my folks. If I had an idea of how to make that work, I’d ask you to help. Since I don’t know the first place to start …’ She shrugged and continued to wave the spatula around in the wok.

  ‘I’m here if you need.’

  ‘Thanks.’ She finished cooking and served quickly. He poured them both glasses of water and they sat down to eat. While eating, the conversation turned back to books and reading.