The Healing Season

by Catherine Evans

  ‘Are you okay?’ he asked, hesitantly.

  ‘I’m fine, Lach.’ She shook her head as if clearing it. ‘It’s just that I almost walked into your house without an invitation.’

  ‘You want to come inside?’

  She chuckled. ‘No. I mean, I don’t have to. We can sit out here.’

  He tugged her wrist and caught her full attention. ‘Are you okay to come inside?’ He wanted her to be free in his house. He didn’t want her sitting on the porch if she’d rather sit inside. But he didn’t want her inside if the changes he’d made would make her uncomfortable.

  She reached up and cupped her hand on his cheek, her thumb brushed across the ridge of cheekbone. ‘I’m going to stop letting the past rule me.’

  Unable to think of anything to say, his throat made a kind of hiss instead. She’d changed. Seeing her parents had brought her joy. A freedom he hadn’t expected. There wasn’t a well of sadness darkening her eyes. Her smile seemed untamed, coming readily to her mouth, carving the slightest dimple in her right cheek.

  She stepped close, her feet moving between his, and his breath caught. Without thinking, his hands moved until they loosely lay on her waist.

  They stood like that for a long time, which allowed him time to breathe. To adjust to the feel of her against him. He moved his hands so they could rest on the curve of her buttocks, drawing her closer to him. Her hand lay against his cheek and the other on his chest, over his heart. She was searching his eyes, staring into the depths for something.

  When she tipped her head slightly and stretched up, he tightened his arms and held her, adjusting to her movements. She leaned forwards and her lips pressed gently against his.

  He inhaled. Quickly. Her hands moved to his shoulders and she pressed her lips a little harder against his. There was no mistaking her intention. She was kissing him.

  Her lips were soft, warm, and sweet. The tip of her tongue brushed the seam of his lips. She moved so his lower lip was between hers and, softly, she pulled his lip inside.

  He’d never experienced anything like it. His head spun. His lips were sluggish to respond. But in the back of his mind, he was worried, not for himself but for her. Was she rushing this? Was it all part of her high and tomorrow she’d regret it?

  She slipped her mouth from his. When she went to take a step back his arms tightened, holding her against him.

  ‘You sure about this?’ He kept his tone light but he hoped she could hear his concern and his patience. ‘I don’t want to rush you. I don’t want you to regret this later when the excitement wears off.’

  ‘Yes. I’m sure, Lachlan. I’m very sure. This is about us, moving forwards.’ There was nothing else to ask. Her response was fierce. She knew what she wanted and she wanted him. He wasn’t about to complain.

  He crushed his mouth against hers. Lips pressed against lips. Warmth breaths mingled. His hands moved against her back.

  It wasn’t a rushed, horny, horrible kiss. It began in a crush but became slow, deliberate, soft and gentle. A perfect kiss. Full of the patience Alicia had always shown him but with the hint of passion he’d seen when she just answered his question.

  His lips nibbled hers, taking tiny tastes. He held her close. She surrounded him with love, acceptance, and gave him hope for the future. He’d never felt happier than at that moment. It was like life was going exactly the right way. Dulili had been the perfect choice.

  ***

  Lachlan was struggling to decide on an investment. He needed Alicia’s input but he didn’t want to rush things or upset her. He wasn’t making a decision alone, so he had to talk with her. He thought the best option was to show more than talk. If she saw the choices, they might not be too confronting.

  He had the keys in his hand when they locked up the shop. His palms were sweating so the keys were hot and wet. No matter how many times he wiped them on his jeans, they remained the same. All day the keys had been as cold as ice sitting heavily in his pocket.

  ‘Would you come and have a look at something with me?’ he asked Alicia as she finished packing up for the night.

  ‘Sure, do I need a jacket or anything?’

  He shook his head. ‘It’s just across the road. You should be right.’

  When she locked the front door, he caught her hand in his and led her across the street to an empty shop front.

  ‘What are we looking at?’ She frowned when he pulled to a halt. Her head turned as she looked along the street and then across the building in front of them.

  He stepped to the door and inserted the key. When he opened the door, he flicked on the lights, and they worked as the agent had assured him they would. He’d been sceptical.

  ‘I need some advice,’ he said as he ushered her inside. ‘I have some money I’d like to invest in real estate but I’m not sure what I should be buying. This shop’s on the market, reasonably priced, it’s in good condition, and I wondered what you thought.’

  Alicia looked around the vast space. ‘This as an investment?’

  He nodded.

  ‘Why? It’s empty.’

  Lachlan laughed. ‘Alicia Pearce, you always have the biggest, wildest, grandest schemes.’ He turned in a circle, waving his arm at the space. ‘I have the opportunity to invest in a building, and all you see is space? I don’t believe it.’

  She rolled her eyes at him and poked her tongue out. ‘Are you leaving the Ag Store?’ Her voice was soft and hesitant.

  He grabbed her around the middle and hugged her. ‘No. Never.’ He planted a kiss on the side of her neck and she squirmed. He loved her reactions.

  He walked to the wall, pointed up high. ‘Look at these great high walls.’ He walked down the length of the shop. ‘All this space.’ He waved his hand. ‘Huge high windows letting in lots of light.’ He looked and she was thinking. Her eyebrows pulled down, her lips tight, her eyes half-scrunched.

  He had to say it. He thought he’d burst if she couldn’t work it out in the next three seconds.

  She didn’t.

  ‘Wouldn’t it make the perfect gallery?’

  She spun towards him, mouth dropped open, eyes wide. ‘What?’

  He grinned. ‘This space is huge. The walls could have heaps of Paul’s photos. Maybe we’ll get new artists in town, or locals who want to show or sell their work. We could fill this space with Dulili’s offerings. With the café and the pub doing great food, a gallery on the weekends would be another attraction for tourists.’

  ‘So you’d only open it weekends?’

  Lachlan shrugged. ‘I’d like to dream that the CWA would volunteer to open it during the week too. Or if not the CWA, someone.’

  He sighed. ‘I was hoping you’d have the ideas. That you’d know if it could work. That you’d be the one to tell me if I was dreaming.’ A snort came from him. ‘Actually, I thought … never mind.’

  Alicia sat down, cross-legged, in the middle of the shop. Her arm was bent so her elbow was on her knee and her chin rested in her palm. He’d never seen her so thoughtful and quiet.

  ‘It’s a huge investment, Lach.’

  ‘Property’s not that expensive in Dulili. I’m not sinking millions into this, you know?’ He grinned but she wasn’t smiling. She looked incredibly serious.

  ‘But it’s not some short term investment either. You won’t make much money out of it. You’ll have trouble selling it. You’ll never sell it in a hurry. And if the gallery doesn’t work out, there isn’t anyone else to go into the shop.’

  He sat in front of her, not touching her but listening and studying her. If he had to guess how she’d have reacted, he wouldn’t have guessed this in a million chances. She was never cautious about plans for Dulili. She jumped into everything with enthusiasm and energy.

  ‘So it’s a bad decision?’ He watched her carefully as he asked the question. She wasn’t looking directly at him. Her gaze flicked around the shop as if she was imagining it as an art gallery. But she wasn’t happy or smiling or encouraging.r />
  ‘I don’t know,’ she said and it sounded like her heart was tearing in two.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ He placed his hand on her knee, squeezed lightly, and hoped she’d meet his gaze.

  She bit her lips. Swallowed. Then she placed her hand over his before looking up at him. Her eyes were shiny with unshed tears and he didn’t know why.

  ‘I don’t know what to say, Lach. I’m totally torn.’ She gulped. ‘On one hand I want to tell you to invest your money in something where you’ll get returns. A town that’s not dying. A place where people want to rent a shop, because they can make money. Dulili isn’t the place to buy an investment property. It’ll moulder and decay before you see any return.’ She squeezed his hand and gave a weak smile. ‘That’s my sensible, look after Lachlan side. There’s my other side, my save Dulili streak, that’s screaming at me to make you sign on the dotted line right this moment.’ She shrugged. ‘I don’t know what to tell you.’

  A smile burst from him. She blinked and sat up straighter, removing her hand from over his.

  ‘I never thought I’d ever be as important to you as Dulili.’ He winked and gave her a cheeky grin. She swatted him, as he expected.

  ‘It’s a lot of money, Lach. What if … I don’t know … what if you need to leave town … and your money is locked up here. How do you get that back?’

  He’d thought of that himself. It’s why he hadn’t asked her earlier. He was rushing their relationship by buying something in town. No matter whether he bought a shop or a house, he was sinking roots into the place before their relationship had grown enough for him to know if he was staying.

  He was putting pressure where there was already enough pressure. They were tentatively finding a way to a relationship, and he’d jumped ahead. Too far. Too fast.

  ‘Thanks.’ He stood up and reached to help her stand. ‘I’ve been arguing with myself for a while now. You’ve said exactly what I’ve been thinking.’

  Standing in front of him, her hand still in his, she tilted her head. ‘You’ve thought all that but you still wanted to show me? You still wanted to buy it?’

  He gave a rueful grin. ‘Yeah. Stupid, huh? I didn’t expect you’d be hesitant. I thought you’d be jumping up and down organising a painting day and a picture hanging day and whatever else you came up with.’

  Her eyes were wide. ‘And you still asked me?’

  ‘Yes.’ Why’d she keep saying that?

  She started to laugh. Really laugh. She grabbed his hand and hugged it to her chest. ‘Oh my God,’ she said between bursts. ‘You’re as crazy about Dulili as I am.’

  He wasn’t sure how to react.

  She kept talking. ‘You want to invest in the town, to see if you can help it kick along. You’d risk your life savings to try to get the town going.’ She didn’t seem to be asking questions, more like she was stating things she knew. Or had just worked out.

  She was right. He’d been here almost six months and he never expected to feel like this, ever. But he was settled, happy. He belonged. Whenever he walked down the street, or walked into the café or the pub, whenever he drove through town, he knew people. They waved, chatted, smiled. They welcomed him and he loved it. All his life he’d wanted to belong, somewhere, and now he did.

  ‘I belong here,’ he said simply. ‘This one horse, hick town,’ he grinned, ‘has claimed me and I want to claim it right back.’

  Alicia threw her arms around his middle and hugged him. ‘Even if it means blowing all your cash?’

  He shrugged. ‘It’s just money.’

  Then he laughed. ‘It’s hard-earned money but I think the investment is worthwhile.’

  ‘Oh, Evelyn is going to love this. Can I be there when you tell her, please? She’s going to have to be sitting down. This is beyond her wildest dreams for what the dollar people could bring to town.’

  Finally, Lachlan got the reaction he’d expected from Alicia. The bubbling energy, the ideas sprouting forth, and the complete excitement. It’d be a few weeks before it all went through but he’d bet she’d have working bees and people lined up to fill the place with goodies so that it’d rival the Ag Store for stock.

  He couldn’t think of a better way to spend his money.

  Chapter 17

  Two weeks later the day dawned that Alicia had been dreading for a year. On autopilot, she rose and dressed for work. The kitchen clock read six-thirty am when she poured two thermos mugs of coffee. She was outside five minutes later and Lachlan was waiting for her. He took both mugs and placed them in the holders, while she stowed her gear in the back.

  They drove to Orange in the quiet of the early morning. Aside from a few sentences, neither of them spoke until they pulled up in the car park just as the gates opened.

  ‘I’ll wait for you but take your time.’ Lachlan squeezed her shoulder.

  She looked at him. ‘Would you come with me, please?’ She’d thought about this for a long time. Visiting should be done alone but she wanted Lachlan there but not just to be there for her. It was difficult to explain, so she hoped he’d say yes and not ask why.

  His eyes flared briefly before he nodded. ‘Of course.’

  Alicia gathered the flowers and photo from the back, and hand-in-hand they walked through the foggy morning. The sun had not long risen but the fog kept everything in semi-darkness, creating an ethereal atmosphere. She snuggled deeper into her jacket and pulled her beanie down further. An August morning at the Orange Cemetery was not for the faint-hearted.

  When they reached Paul’s grave, she stopped. Alicia looked at the colourful array of flowers already there and was glad she’d picked a bunch from the farm. She let go of Lachlan’s hand to lay the bunch down and then took his hand again.

  ‘Paul, this is Lachlan. Lach, meet Paul. I know it’s crazy to introduce you like this …’ She gave Lach a watery smile. ‘… but you’re two of the most important people in my life and I want you to know each other.’

  Again, she let go of Lachlan’s hand, this time to place the photo she’d had printed next to the headstone. ‘I want you to know how much your photos mean, and how much they’ve helped me this year. Not just me but Dulili too.’ She laid her hand on the cold stone and held it tightly. ‘We’re opening up a new shop, right across from the Ag Store, to exhibit your photos. They sell so well. Everyone loves them. You’d be stoked. I wish you could see how popular they are and hear what people say.’

  She swallowed, emotion choking her. Lachlan gave her a stoic look, so she kept going, drawing strength from him. ‘For me, it’s your last photos that have helped the most. The ones of the kids. I wasn’t going to exhibit those, I wanted to keep them all to myself. But Lach and I’ve been talking, and we’ve talked with your folks too, and we think we should show them. The money from any sales, we’re going to send to Syrian orphanages and refugee camps. Dulili’s getting behind it too. You would have done something like that, so that’s my plan. I hope you’d agree.’

  She squatted down so she could see the photo she’d placed on the ground. ‘This photo is of a bunch of kids playing in the ruined street. I’m leaving it here for you. Your work has made such a difference. Your life made a difference. I wanted to show you that.’

  She sniffled as the emotion took hold. Leaning her forehead on the cold stone, she whispered, ‘I miss you so very much but I’m going to honour your memory and help people too. Thank you for leaving so much of yourself behind. I’ve needed it so much.’ The tears dripped down her face but after a few moments, she wiped them and stood. She gripped the headstone hard and nodded her head towards the memorial.

  There was a faint sense of the ridiculous running through Alicia, after she’d issued such a long speech to a patch of ground but there was also a sense of right. A feeling that she’d made things right with Paul, with Lachlan, and with herself.

  She walked back to Lachlan and laid her hand on his arm. ‘Thank you. Sorry. I had to say all that.’

  He gave a sort of sheepish
smile. ‘Do you mind if I talk to him now?’ He seemed serious. She had been half expecting him to laugh at her. She felt a little odd within herself. Not exactly nauseous but unsettled. She gulped and waved her hand to indicate he could go ahead.

  ‘Nice to meet you, Paul. I wish we could have met differently, although that would never have worked. I want you to know that I’ll take care of your girl for as long as she’ll let me. I know I’m in your house too, so I’ll look after that, I promise. And although I’ve never really met you, your photos have given me so much insight into you and Dulili. Thanks for showing me your love of the town, for helping me to understand it and to fit in. I love being part of your art gallery. Like Alicia, I hope to honour your memory, always.’

  More tears streamed down Alicia’s cheeks. The torrents burned hot against her eyelids but cold as they froze on her cheeks. She hadn’t realised how much Lach had learned from Paul. How natural he sounded talking to a memory. It was like he knew Paul, was friends with him. She was glad she’d asked him to come with her today, not only for his support but also so she heard that. Knew that.

  Alicia wiped her face with a huge men’s hanky. Then tucked it deep into her pockets again. Lachlan threaded their fingers together and they stood close, Alicia in front of him, warmed by his body. For long moments they were surrounded only by the early morning silence. It was too foggy and cold even for birdsong.

  After silently saying a final goodbye to Paul’s public memorial, Alicia squeezed her fingers against Lachlan’s. ‘I’m ready.’ Paul would be with her always. Leaving wasn’t too difficult.

  Walking side by side, they left the graveside. ‘Thank you for coming with me,’ she said before they reached the car park.

  ‘It meant a lot that you asked me to come.’

  ‘I didn’t know … you know … it’s uncomfortable sometimes … you … and Paul …’ Her stammering made little sense but she had no idea how to express herself.