by Connie Mason
Until now. He was damn near broke and he needed a wagon and supplies to get Sarah and Abner to Montana. The bank manager offered no argument when Chad withdrew a substantial sum of money.
Chad’s next stop was the livery, where he was able to purchase a small covered wagon and four sturdy horses to pull it Then he bought supplies for the trip and stored them in the wagon. Chad’s last stop was the general store. He felt a little awkward purchasing women’s clothing, but Sarah was going to need something besides the rags she called a wardrobe. He bought three day dresses made of sturdy material and another of velvet that he couldn’t resist because it was the exact shade of her violet eyes. He added a warm coat and boots. He had to guess at the sizes but the clerk proved helpful in that respect when Chad mentioned they were for Sarah Temple.
Chad found it easier to buy clothing for Abner. Before he left the store he’d bought the youngster several flannel shirts, denim pants, underwear, boots, jacket, and headgear. He even purchased new boots and trousers for himself, adding a leather vest and sheepskin jacket that had taken his eye. They were headed for high country and he knew that the weather could turn at a moment’s notice.
While Chad was conducting his business Sarah packed their meager belongings. When she finished, there was one last thing she had to do. No matter what her parents thought of her, she couldn’t leave town without telling them goodbye. They had never actually met Abner and suddenly she felt it very important that Abner meet his grandparents. She tried to explain the situation to the child in words he would understand.
“Why didn’t my grandma and grandpa ever come to see me?” Abner wanted to know after listening to Sarah’s explanation. “Don’t they like me?”
“They never gave themselves a chance, honey. They were angry at something I did so they deliberately cut me out of their lives. But I think they should meet you before we leave town.” Her expression turned wistful. “I want them to know what they’re missing.”
They left the house after a lunch of leftovers from breakfast. Sarah composed words she wanted to say in her head while Abner skipped along beside her. They didn’t see Chad, who was on his way back to the house after having completed his errands.
Chad was puzzled when he spied Sarah and Abner walking down the street. He wondered where Sarah was going and what she was up to. Then she rounded a corner and it occurred to him that she was going to call on her parents. He spit out a curse. Hadn’t she taken enough abuse from them? He followed close behind as she walked up to the parsonage and knocked on the door.
Hazel Temple opened the door. Her startled gaze swept over Sarah and settled on the boy standing beside her.
“Hello, Mother. I know I’m the last person you want to see but I wanted you to meet Abner before we left town. This is likely to be the last time you’ll see either of us.”
“You’re leaving town?”
“It’s what you and Father have always wanted, isn’t it?”
Hezekiah appeared in the open doorway beside his wife. ‘It’s exactly what we want. Why are you here, Sarah?”
Sarah’s chin rose fractionally. “I wanted you to meet your grandson.”
Hezekiah’s stem gaze settled briefly on Abner. “We’ve never acknowledged your bastard. Why bring him here now?”
“I wanted him to know that he has grandparents before we leave. And I wanted to tell you both goodbye.” She nudged Abner.
“Goodbye, Grandmother, goodbye, Grandfather. Can we go now, Mama?”
“Where are you going?” Hazel asked, ignoring her husband’s disapproving frown.
“We’re going to Montana,” Abner piped up. “We’re going to live with Chad’s family.”
“Delaney is a fool if he marries you,” Hezekiah said with derision. “Are you sure he knows what you are? His family won’t approve of you if he’s stupid enough to take you to his home.”
Hezekiah’s hurtful words were a bitter reminder of his rigid nature. “Chad knows exactly what I am. Father. Neither of us wants marriage. We’re good friends and will remain friends, no matter what you think of me.”
“You’re his whore, Sarah, you’ll never be anything else to him.”
“Father!”
The truth hurt. Sarah would never stop wanting Chad. She could deny it until her face turned blue, but all Chad had to do was touch her and she shattered. If that made her a whore, then so be it.
“You’ve said enough, Reverend,” Chad said, stepping up beside Sarah. No one had seen him leave his horse at the hitching post and quietly follow behind Sarah and Abner. “Sarah came here to tell you goodbye. She still has feelings for you, though God knows why.”
He took her arm and Abner’s hand and determinedly turned them away from the door. Sarah didn’t look back as she followed Chad, but her eyes were suspiciously moist She had tried so hard to understand her parents, and in a way she did. She had humiliated them before their flock. Her very presence was an embarrassment to them.
“Wait!” Suddenly Sarah’s mother broke free of her father’s iron grip and darted past him to where Sarah and Abner stood.
Sarah’s heart leaped with joy as her mother placed a restraining hand on her arm. “You have a fine son, Sarah. I know I’ve treated you badly in the past, but what you did was a sin.” She paused to smile down at Abner. “I couldn’t let you leave without telling you…”
“Telling me what, Mama?”
“I’m sorry. That’s all I’m sorry.”
Abruptly she turned and hastened to her husband’s side. Hezekiah was scowling fiercely as he pulled her inside and slammed the door.
“You shouldn’t have come here, Sarah,” Chad chided.
“I wanted them to see their grandson before I took him away.”
“All you did was open yourself to more heartache.”
“Did you hear what my mother said, Chad? She said she was sorry. That alone was worth the trip. It’s the most I’ve ever had from either of them.”
A lump formed in Chad’s throat. It took so little to make Sarah happy. He’d never known a woman like her. Had he any inclination toward marriage he’d… Shit! He was thinking with his loins again. Sarah appeared to be different from his mother and Cora Lee, but these days he couldn’t trust his own judgment.
“Forget your parents, Sarah. My family will make you welcome. You’ll have everything you need at the Circle F.”
Everything but you, Sarah reflected sadly. “I hope I’m doing the right thing. What if Jackson has given up on Abner? I could go on taking in laundry and raising Abner just like I’ve always done.”
“You’d die before your time if you continued on like you were. This is the best way, Sarah, believe me.
Sarah wasn’t so sure but she gave Chad the benefit of the doubt.
All was in readiness early the following morning. The wagon was packed and Chad was waiting beside it for Sarah and Abner to return from the Barlows, where they had gone to bid Carrie and the children farewell. An unwelcome visitor arrived before Sarah and Abner. Chad was unpleasantly surprised to see a buggy pull up to the house and Mrs. Kilmer climb out of it. Behind her, a maid struggled with a basket of laundry.
“I decided to give Sarah another chance with my laundry,” Mrs. Kilmer said, looking down her nose at Chad. “She’s the only one who can get the starch right in my husband’s shirts.” She spied the wagon and looked askance at Chad. “Are you going somewhere?”
“I’m leaving town,” Chad said succinctly.
“Good riddance,” Mrs. Kilmer sniffed. “Where is Sarah?”
“Saying goodbye to Mrs. Barlow. I’m taking Sarah and Abner with me to Montana.”
The haughty woman’s mouth dropped open. “You’re marrying Sarah?”
“I didn’t say that”
“Well,” she huffed, “I should think not Men don’t marry Sarah’s kind.”
Chad’s fists balled at his sides. If he’d had the slightest doubt about taking Sarah with him he no longer did. “I suggest you
take your laundry and leave, lady. The town will have to find some other helpless victim to pick on.”
“Well, I declare! I wish you joy of your whore.” Lifting her nose in the air, she spun around and stalked back to her buggy.
Chad would have done something he’d regret if he hadn’t spied Sarah and Abner walking down the road toward him.
“Wasn’t that Mrs. Kilmer? What did she want?” Sarah asked as the buggy shot past her.
“She brought you her laundry. I sent her packing. Forget her.” He lifted Abner into the wagon. “Are you ready to go, son?”
Abner nodded excitedly. “Will I like it in Montana?”
“I guarantee it.” He turned to Sarah, lifted her onto the seat and vaulted up beside her.
“I don’t think I’m going to miss this at all,” Sarah said, glancing back at the rundown shanty that had been her home for the past six years.
Sarah felt no regret over leaving, despite her apprehension about her new life in Montana. After Chad dumped her with his relatives, she might never see him again. As they left the town of Carbon behind, Sarah vowed to use this time alone with Chad to make him love her.
Most nights Sarah and Abner slept in the wagon and Chad under it. The weather was brisk but not too cold. Chad had made no effort to renew their intimacy, though sometimes Sarah caught him gazing at her in a manner that could only be described as predatory. She was astute enough to know he wanted her and that he was deliberately holding himself in check. Did he fear he might become too fond of her? Was he afraid that involvement meant he’d have to place his trust in a woman?
One night, while Sarah cooked supper over the campfire Chad had built, unexpected company dropped in. Chad reached for his shotgun.
“Howdy, mister, didn’t mean to startle ya. Smelled yer coffee. We ran out of coffee two days ago. Could ya spare a cup fer me and my partner?”
Both men were scruffy-looking characters. Both wore stained buckskins and sported shaggy beards.
Chad took note of their pack mules. “Are you prospectors?”
“Reckon ya could say that,” the bigger of the two men said. “I’m Justice Crumb and this here’s Tolly Rinker. About that coffee…”
Chad uncocked his gun and rested it against a log. He didn’t like the looks of these men, but they didn’t seem threatening. “Sit down. Sarah will pour you each a cup of coffee. I’m Chad Delaney.”
“That your wife and kid?” Rinker asked, staring intently at Sarah.
“Yeah,” Chad acknowledged tersely.
Sarah looked startled but did not contradict him.
“But Mama…”
“Time for bed, son,” Sarah said, cutting Abner off in mid-sentence. “Go inside. Mama will tuck you in later.”
“But Mama …”
“Do as your mother says,” Chad said quietly. Abner took one look at Chad’s taut features and scampered into the wagon.
“This is mighty fine coffee, missus,” Rinker said. He hadn’t taken his gaze from Sarah since entering their camp.
Sarah shifted uncomfortably beneath Rinker’s hungry gaze. As soon as she’d served the coffee, she excused herself and climbed into the wagon with Abner.
“That’s a fine-looking woman,” Crumb said. “Bet she’s a nice warm armful on a cold night.” He guffawed lewdly and poked Rinker in the ribs. “Me and Rinker ain’t had a woman fer almost a year. How much will ya take fer a few minutes with her? Won’t take long.”
Chad calmly reached for the shotgun. His voice was as cold as a winter storm. “I suggest you two move on. Sarah’s not for sale. I don’t share what’s mine.”
The moment the words left Chad’s mouth, he realized how possessive he’d become of Sarah. He’d kill any man who touched her.
“Don’t get yer dander up, mister. Just thought you’d welcome some extra money. But I can see now we made a mistake.”
“Damn right you did! You’d best move on before I take exception to what you said and load your backsides with buckshot.”
Crumb heaved his bulk from the log he’d been sitting on. “Come on, Rinker, time to move on.”
“But Crumb, I’m hard as a brick,” Rinker whined. “There’s two of us and only one of him.”
“Not this time,” Crumb said, sizing Chad up. “The woman ain’t worth my life. There’s a cathouse in the next town, we were headed there anyway.”
“Much obliged fer the coffee, mister,” Crumb called over his shoulder. “Take care of that woman and kid of yers.”
Chad watched them ride away, the shotgun poised in the crook of his arm.
“Do you think they’ll come back?” Sarah asked as she climbed down from the wagon to join him.
“You heard?”
Sarah shivered, suddenly chilled. “I heard. I feared they’d try to jump you. I had a gun inside. If they had tried anything, I would have shot them”
Chad’s arm came around her. “I wouldn’t let them have you, Sarah. You were never in danger.”
He turned her in his arms, disregarding the warning bells that went off inside his head as he claimed her lips.
Chapter 10
Chad’s lips moved on hers with almost desperate yearning. Sarah thought she could actually hear turbulent winds of need howling across his soul. Something dark and despairing swirled in his eyes. Sarah recognized the hopelessness in them and sympathized with the depths of emotions he was experiencing, for she was feeling those very same emotions.
She’d give her own soul to be able to help him banish his painful memories and overwhelming sense of guilt. Until he regained emotional stability she didn’t stand a chance with him. His heart was as closed to her as if he’d built a wall around it. The only thing she had going for her was the fact that Chad wanted her. Chad’s lust was intact even if his heart wasn’t.
The kiss seemed to go on forever. Sarah clung to him, her mouth soft and trembly beneath his. When it ended she stepped away, breathless and shaken.
“What if those men come back?” she asked, glancing furtively around the campsite.
“They won’t.”
His confidence was reassuring, but Sarah was still doubtful. “How do you know?”
“They know they’d never succeed with whatever they tried. They are prospectors, not murderers. Being a bounty hunter has taught me a lot of things. One is to judge men’s characters. They didn’t want a woman badly enough to risk their lives. I’ll keep watch for awhile, but I’d bet money that they’re on their way to the nearest town.”
Sarah shuddered. “I hope you’re right.”
“Sit with me for awhile,” Chad invited.
“Let me check on Abner first.”
Sarah climbed into the wagon, saw that Abner was sound asleep, and her heart nearly burst with love. Abner was her life. Without him she’d have nothing. Unless Chad… She sighed, warning herself not to let her fancy run away with her. Chad wanted a woman for only one thing. Changing him wasn’t going to be easy, she decided as she grabbed her shawl and climbed down from the wagon to join Chad.
Sarah was surprised to see that Chad had spread his bedroll out beneath the stars. He reached for her hand, helped her to sit down and sprawled beside her. A tense silence ensued as both Sarah and Chad stared into the star-studded night.
“Did you like the clothes I bought for you and Abner? You haven’t mentioned them.”
“You shouldn’t have spent money you couldn’t afford on us. I know you were counting on the reward for capturing Jackson. How did you manage to buy a wagon? You said you were running short of cash.”
“I was running short of cash. I visited the bank before we left. The Delaney family is fairly well off. I used a letter of credit to obtain funds.”
“I’ll pay you back,” Sarah vowed. “I don’t want to be a burden to anyone. Dumping me and Abner on your brother and sister-in-law might sound like a good idea to you, but not to me. As soon as I find a job in town I’ll be moving on. What are your plans?”
Chad wen
t still. It was almost as if he’d withdrawn from her. “I’m going back to doing what I’ve been doing. I’m not ready yet to return to Dry Gulch.” He gazed off into the distance. “Someday, maybe. But don’t worry, you’ll like Pierce and Zoey.”
“When you return—if you return—I’ll probably have moved on myself. I only agreed to come with you because I’m afraid Freddie would return to Carbon for Abner.”
“Is that the only reason, Sarah?” He spoke in an odd yet gentle tone.
Sarah stared at him. What did he want from her? An admission of her feelings for him would be disastrous right now. Their relationship was one-sided. The only love involved was the love she had for Chad. Telling him how she felt would do more harm than good. He wasn’t ready yet to open his heart to love.
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Chad. I doubt you’d want to hear the truth.”
Chad didn’t know what he wanted to hear from Sarah, but he knew what he wanted her to do. He wanted her to stay at the Circle F ranch where she’d be safe, but he knew that was asking too much from her. He had no authority where Sarah was concerned. He’d asked for no commitment and wanted none. It was better that way. He’d just make Sarah’s life miserable with his painful memories and relentless guilt. He’d hoped to leave all his guilt behind when he fled Dry Gulch, but it hadn’t worked that way. His problems followed him. His best moments in the past two years had been those times he’d spent making love to Sarah.
“Sarah, I wish…”
“We’ve already been down that road, Chad. I don’t expect anything from you. I’ve always known exactly where I stand with you. You’re a compassionate man, I appreciate everything you’ve done for me and Abner.”
