by Connie Mason
“Well beloved brother, I’m staying.”
Ryan wanted to whoop with joy.
“But don’t get your hopes up. And don’t give me one of your sanctimonious sermons. Sarah’s father has given me enough of those to last a lifetime. I admit Sarah and I are… more than friends, but I won’t marry her until I’m sure I can be the kind of husband she needs. There are ghosts rattling around in my past. Unless I can banish them, Sarah is better off without me.”
“I don’t know who is more stubborn, you or Pierce,” Ryan said, shaking his head. “Seriously, though, I’m glad you’re staying. The only way you can confront your problems is to face them head on. Running from them won’t work.”
“What about your problems, Ryan? You’re just as fearful of marriage and distrustful of women as I am.”
Ryan’s eyes sparkled mischievously. “I like women, Chad. They have a definite place in my life.”
“In your bed,” Chad muttered. “That’s one place Sarah will never occupy.”
“That’s up to you,” Ryan challenged. “At least I have the good sense not to fall in love. I’m perfectly happy bedding whores, obliging widows, and ladies willing to sacrifice their virtue for pleasure.”
Chad stiffened. “In which of those three categories have you placed Sarah?”
“Perhaps I’ll create a special one for Sarah,” Ryan said easily.
Chad gave his brother a rueful smile. “You’ll get nowhere with Sarah. I’ve already warned her to steer clear of Rogue Ryan.” He clapped his brother on the shoulder, unable to remain angry. “I don’t want to fight with you, Ryan. I know you wouldn’t hurt Sarah. We’re arguing over nothing.”
Ryan returned his grin. “Welcome home, brother. I’m glad you decided to stay. As for Sarah, don’t keep her waiting too long. She’s not the kind of woman who beds a man without making a commitment to him. Whether you know it or not, she wouldn’t give me a second glance with you around. Good night, Chad.”
“Good night, Ryan.”
Chad removed his clothes and climbed into bed. He still had a lot to think about and many things to resolve within himself. Tomorrow he’d take the first step toward healing his emotions. He’d do whatever was necessary to banish his demons forever.
Sarah awoke from a wonderful dream. Or had it been a dream? Did Chad really say he wasn’t leaving? She glanced out the window, saw that it was still early, and decided to bathe before the household stirred. She could feel the sticky residue of Chad’s seed between her legs, and as much as she loved his scent upon her, it needed to be washed away. She donned a robe and went down the hall to the bathing room. She met Ryan in the hallway. He gave her a conspiratorial smile as he set the buckets down on the floor.
“It’s working, isn’t it?” he asked gleefully. “Chad is so jealous he can’t see straight.” He thought it best not to mention that he saw Chad leaving her room last night.
“Chad is difficult to read,” Sarah murmured. “He did seem perturbed, though, didn’t he?”
“Perturbed is too mild a word.” He gave her a quick hug. “I’ve done my part, Sarah, the rest is up to you.”
Chad watched the tender scene from his open door. “What’s going on?”
Both Ryan and Sarah whirled at the sound of Chad’s voice. Nonplussed, Ryan said, “Not a thing. Sarah is on her way to take a bath. We met in the hallway by accident.”
He stared hard at Ryan before accepting his explanation with a curt nod. “I suggest we leave Sarah to her bath.” He motioned for Ryan to precede him out the door.
Sarah bathed quickly, then hurried down to the kitchen. Cookie was doing dishes. “Where are Chad and Ryan?”
“Already gone,” Cookie said.
“Did they mention where they’d be today?”
“Ryan said he was going out with the hands to distribute hay to the stock in the south pasture. Chad didn’t say where he was off to. Sit down, Miz Sarah, I’ll have a hearty breakfast before you in no time. You could stand a little meat on your bones.”
Sarah ate mechanically, barely tasting her food. She was almost finished when Abner trailed into the kitchen and announced that he was starving. While Abner ate, Sarah stared absently out the window. She saw Chad riding Flint out of the yard, saw him head north, and wondered where he was going.
“Cookie, what’s north of here?” Sarah asked casually.
“Not much, Miz Sarah. The stock has already been moved down from the north pasture. ‘Course there’s the Rocking D, with nothing in between but empty acres, hundreds of ‘em.”
“That’s all?”
Cookie scratched his head, rearranging the thatch of sparse gray hair growing there. “There’s a cemetery between here and the Rocking D. Some of the families in the area use it to bury their loved ones.”
Sarah glanced out the window again. The leaden skies held a promise of snow, but so far the weather had been exceptionally mild. Sarah didn’t know where Chad was going, but she felt strongly that she should be with him.
“Would you keep an eye on Abner for me?” Sarah asked Cookie.
“Sure thing, Miz Sarah. Bundle up, it’s cold out there.”
She donned coat, muffler, and gloves, then hurried out to the barn. She saddled a horse and a few minutes later, took off after Chad.
Two men who were hiding in the woods behind the house watched her ride off.
“Is that the woman, Freddie?”
Freddie Jackson gave his swarthy companion a cocky grin. “Yeah, Sanchez, that’s her.”
“Should I go after her, señor?”
“Naw, it’s the kid I want. My kid,” he added proudly. “As soon as I get him, we’re gonna head to Mexico. The money from the bank we robbed in Dry Gulch yesterday is gonna help us get there. I’m taking my kid with me. I’ll find some sweet little senorita to take care of both of us.”
“There’s no one at the ranch house now, señnor. We’ve been watching since dawn, they all rode off except your kid and the old man.”
“Yeah, let’s do it now, Sanchez. We ain’t never gonna have another chance like this.”
Sarah caught up with Chad at the cemetery. It was located in a peaceful valley surrounded by forest and lofty mountains. But Sarah could see no serenity in the slump of Chad’s shoulders as he stood with his head bowed before a cluster of graves.
Sarah dismounted and quietly watched from the cover of tall pines, unwilling to intrude upon his solitude. She was more than a little startled when she saw Chad fall to his knees and bury his head in his hands. He looked so forlorn, so utterly dejected, that Sarah could almost feel his pain. She started forward, determined to offer what little comfort she could. At the sound of her soft footsteps, he raised his head and turned in her direction.
“What are you doing here?” he asked with a slight edge of wariness.
“I followed you.”
He let out a furious oath and turned away. “How did you know about the cemetery?”
“Cookie told me.”
“You’ve come out here for nothing,” Chad said harshly. “Go back to the ranch.”
Sarah shook her head emphatically. “I’m staying. I’m not going to leave you alone, Chad.”
The stark planes of his face stood out in vivid contrast to the burning intensity of his eyes. “Dammit, Sarah, don’t coddle me. Healing has to come from within myself. No one can help me.”
He returned his gaze to the graves he’d been contemplating just moments before. Sarah’s stomach clenched painfully when she read the names on the markers. Doolittle. Cora Lee, Hal, Edward, and Baby Doolittle. She gazed at Chad in silent commiseration. His face was a study of intense pain and deep concentration. She could almost feel his anguish, see him struggling with some dark force within himself.
She remained absolutely still, watching, waiting for some sign to indicate he’d won his battle. The wind whistled through the trees, breaking the eerie silence of this desolate place, and she shivered as an icy blast penetrated her coat. N
othing short of imminent death could make her leave Chad now.
Suddenly Chad leaped to his feet, grasped his horse’s reins, and threw himself upon his back. He would have ridden off without so much as a thought for Sarah if she hadn’t called out to him. He appeared to have forgotten she was there.
“Chad! Where are you going?”
Chad reined in sharply. ‘To the Rocking D.”
“Wait! I’m coming with you.”
He offered no objection as he waited for her to mount Her feet had barely settled in the stirrups when he kneed Flint into a brisk gallop. She reached the Rocking D several minutes behind Chad. She found him standing on the porch talking to Frank Frasier, the man who was buying the ranch. She dismounted and walked over to join them.
“Howdy, ma’am,” Frasier said, doffing his hat. “I was just telling your husband that I got the loan from the bank and was on my way to town to pick up the money. Was there something special you wanted?” he asked Chad.
“Just wanted to take a last look around,” Chad said. His face gave away nothing of the turmoil roiling inside him.
“Sure thing, take your time. I’m fixing to leave, but you know your way around. I’m keeping on the foreman and hiring back the hands that were let go, so I’m kinda anxious to get going and sign them on before someone else does.”
“Don’t let me stop you,” Chad said. “This isn’t going to take long.”
Frasier nodded and headed to the barn to get his horse. Chad waited until Frasier rode off before he let himself into the house.
“Why are you doing this?” Sarah asked as she followed Chad through the door.
“Because I have to. Ryan was right. I can’t go on running forever. Problems have a way of following wherever you go; you can’t outrun them. All my problems are directly related to this house.”
Chad paused at the foot of the stairs, resting his hand on the newel post. He was surprised to find his fingers shaking and he jerked his hand away, struggling to gain control. After a moment he was able to pull himself together, and he reached for Sarah’s hand. She grasped it, and they ascended the staircase together.
Sarah felt Chad tense and tighten his hand around hers when they reached Cora Lee’s bedroom. She could almost taste the fierce battle waging within him as he stepped inside the room and stared at the bed. She wondered what he was thinking as one emotion after another flashed across his face, each more profound and seething than the previous, each expanding and spilling over, stunning Sarah with the sheer intensity of his pain.
“Say something,” Sarah whispered, squeezing his hand. “What do you feel?”
“Drained. Tired of living in the past and sick of fighting guilt.”
His feet dragged as he approached the bed and glanced down at the floor where Hal Doolittle had died in a pool of blood. He shuddered and pulled Sarah into his arms, holding her so tightly she could hardly breathe. “I want it to be over,” he said on a groan. “Help me, Sarah.”
He lifted her face with his thumb and forefinger and kissed her. She had no idea what was going on inside Chad now, but whatever it was, she was willing to help.
“Make love with me now, Sarah. Here, in this house, on this bed.” His voice held a note of desperation. “I need you.”
Sarah gaped at him, then at the bed. The bed where Cora Lee and her child had breathed their last. “Are you sure this is what you want, Chad?”
“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. Make new memories for me, sweetheart. I want to banish the past. You’re the only one who can help me.”
Sarah didn’t know how to interpret his words. “Are you saying you love me?”
“Loving you wouldn’t be difficult,” Chad admitted. “Even though I’m not sure I know what the word means. Perhaps I just need time to come to grips with the idea. Will you let me make love to you? Here? Now?”
Sarah shook her head. “It’s not a good idea. It would be for all the wrong reasons.”
“You’re wrong, Sarah. It would be for all the right reasons. Making love to you in this room will help to restore my peace of mind. You can give me new memories to replace the painful ones associated with this house. Give me pleasure to remember instead of death.”
Sarah tried to dispute Chad’s logic, but couldn’t. He had given her more hope for a future with him in these last few minutes than he had in all the previous weeks and months they had been together. If new memories were what he wanted, then she’d give them to him. No matter what happened between them after today, he’d still have his new memories. She stepped out of his arms and began to undress.
Their loving was slow, tender, and achingly poignant. If Sarah felt uncomfortable in this house, her discomfort vanished the moment Chad touched her, the second his lips claimed hers, the instant his tongue invaded the sweet warmth of her mouth. He brought her to climax without spending, then aroused her again, bringing them both to shattering completion.
“I feel as if I’ve just emerged from a long tunnel into the light,” Chad murmured into her ear.
“No more demons?”
“I hope not. I feel as if I’d just been released from two years of hell.”
Chapter 15
Jackson and Sanchez emerged from the cover of lofty pines wearing a dusting of snow, which was now falling in abundance from the leaden skies. They spied a party of riders approaching the Delaney house and ducked back out of sight.
“Dammit!” Jackson cursed. “Vigilantes. Let’s get the hell out of here.”
“What about the kid? Are we going to Mexico without him?”
“Not on your life, Sanchez. When I go to Mexico, my kid is coming with me. The vigilantes won’t expect us to stick around in Dry Gulch after robbing the bank. Remember that old line shack we passed a ways back? Nobody will be using it at this time of year. We can stay there until the coast is clear. When the time is right, we’ll nab Abner and head south to Mexico. If we wait long enough, we’re bound to find the kid alone. Plenty of cover here. We’ll just sit tight and wait for the right time.”
“What are we gonna do about food? We can’t just mosey into town and stock up at the local grocery store. Somebody is bound to recognize us.”
“Don’t need to. We’ll steal what we need from the local ranchers. Come on, Sanchez, let’s get the hell out of here.”
Chad and Sarah met the vigilantes on their way home from the Rocking D. Riley Reed and his men intercepted them about a mile from the Delaney ranch. It was snowing steadily now, and Chad chaffed at the delay.
“Well, well, if it ain’t Chad Delaney,” Reed said, reining in beside Chad. “When did you get home?”
“A while ago,” Chad said shortly. There was no love lost between Reed and the Delaneys. Reed and his vigilantes had come so close to lynching Pierce that his brother still wore the rope burns on his throat. “What brings the vigilantes out on a cold day like this?”
“We’re looking for bank robbers.” His gaze shifted to Sarah. “That your wife?”
Chad ignored his question and posed one of his own. “Who are you chasing this time, Reed? Not another innocent man, I hope.”
“The men who robbed the bank in town are guilty as sin,” Reed returned. “They got clean away, but we’ll find them. They couldn’t have gotten far. We figure they’re heading south. Have you seen a couple of suspicious characters around here?”
A shiver of dread crept along Chad’s spine. Bank robbers. He didn’t like the sound of that. His first thought was that Jackson had traced Sarah and Abner to Dry Gulch. Was that lowlife still determined to have his son?
“What did they look like?” Chad asked.
“One was a short, dark Mexican. The other was tall with blue eyes. Both wore hats pulled low over their foreheads and bandannas covering the lower part of their faces.”
“We haven’t seen anyone matching those descriptions,” Chad said. “Any idea who they are?”
“Some say it was Freddie Jackson and a Mex named Sanche
z. They pulled off a robbery over in Roundup a couple weeks back and the federal marshal there recognized them. Can’t say for sure, though, not till we find them.” He peered up at the sky. “This snow will help us track them down.”
“Good luck,” Chad said distractedly as he watched them ride away. He didn’t hold out much hope of the vigilantes catching Jackson. Jackson was a wily bastard. Chad had good reason to know. He hadn’t caught the man after tracking him for over two weeks.
“Chad, are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Sarah asked. Her face appeared as white as the falling snow and Chad could taste her fear.
“We’re not sure it was Jackson who robbed the Dry Gulch bank,” Chad reminded her. “It could be anyone.”
“But what if it was Jackson? What if he followed us to Montana? Several people knew I’d left with you. I recall telling Carrie where to find me.”
“Even if you hadn’t told Carrie it wouldn’t be difficult for a resourceful man like Jackson to learn our destination. Don’t worry, Sarah, Ryan and I will protect you and Abner.”
“I’m not worried for myself. Freddie wants Abner, not me. Why would a man like that want to be a father all of a sudden?”
“Abner is Jackson’s link with immortality, I suppose. Let’s get back to the ranch.”
“Oh God, yes. I want to make sure Abner is all right.”
“Jackson is no fool. He’s probably miles away by now.”
Chad prayed he was right. His gut told him Jackson was closer than he’d like to think. And over the years, Chad had learned to listen to his gut.
Sarah rushed into the house, vastly relieved when Abner ran up to greet her.
“The vigilantes were here, Mama!” he cried excitedly. “They were looking for a bad man.”
Sarah snatched him up into her arms and gave him a fierce hug. “I know, honey. We saw them.”
He squirmed out of her arms. “It’s snowing outside. Can I go out and play?”
There was no way Sarah was going to let Abner out of her sight if there was any possibility that Freddie Jackson was in the vicinity. “Not now, Abner. I…”
