Ash nodded, making a firm decision. He would not become a slave and helpmate to the Kalgrens, despite how powerful and prominent their family was in the world. The Burnsons were a proud and strong lineage as well—he could find his own path. He would break away from the siblings. Somehow. Asher moved to the cabinet in the corner of the corner-office which had sustained the least amount of damage, and tucked the ring box away behind dozens of files. Someday, when his friend cooled down, he'd probably want it again. Asher had no need of it; would never have any need of it.
As the burning office faded from his mind with a cool ocean breeze, Asher frowned as he stared out at the water. He wondered how many of his decisions were made solely on his own desires. How many were rash and hot-headed, intended just to prove points or to make impressions? Amara had been his happiness. She'd had nothing to do with Thornton and his selfish slipups; she’d been his and his alone. They’d existed in their own little world, far away from everyone else, happy on the edge of the ocean. Yes, happy. But had she really been happy with him? Even though he could offer her nothing? No. She couldn't have been. She was accustomed to luxury, and he couldn’t even afford to buy her gifts regularly.
But why had she seemed so devastated when he’d left? Had it only been pride, or had she really been as wounded as he felt? Why had she been so cold to him earlier at his mother’s house? Had she really loved him, flaws and all? Poverty, low self-esteem, and all? It was impossible.
Asher shook his head to clear the thoughts. Seeing Amara again had simply hurt too much. He did not even know why he was standing here on the beach, trying to appreciate the beauty of what was spread out before him and only seeing the past. Why did he always feel the need to prove his masculinity to Thornton? He wondered if he really wanted Medea or if she just served as the trophy for another competition between the two men. It had gotten to the point that Asher truly had no idea of what he wanted. He just went with the flow, wanting whatever he believed he should want. Whatever Thornton believed a man should want. Doing whatever made a man a man.
Asher felt more sea winds ruffle his hair and was startled when two warm hands slowly slid around his waist. Small, slender arms had encircled him. He felt a warm body, including two soft-but-firm mounds of flesh pressed against his back. His heartbeat quickened.
Mara? This was his first thought as he looked down at those hands, his eyes clouded with emotion. He violently reached up to yank his headphones off.
"Hey, handsome,” a familiar voice murmured against his back.
A few strands of long hair danced over his shoulder in the wind, illuminated and almost translucent in the fading sunlight. Mara! He thought again, completely elated. He fully intended to turn around, take her up in his arms and never let her go again. He would beg and plead and cry for her forgiveness. He would do anything.
Just as long as she never looked at him again the way she had that afternoon.
He turned around in her arms, a massive smile on his face—a smile which disappeared as soon as he saw the girl's face. It wasn’t Amara. Of course it wasn’t! He’d abandoned his love, and he had planned to meet with this woman here and now. Why was he expecting a miracle?
“Were you expecting someone else?” asked Para in surprise. Of course, she had heard his thoughts, and had heard him call Amara’s name in his mind.
“No, no. I’m happy to see you, Medea,” he said, sighing and offering her his arm to stroll along the beach. “I’ve just been lost in thought. It's been a long day.” Asher still looked out at the waves blindly. It's been a long few weeks… since I left her, he added inwardly to himself. Get a hold of yourself, Ash Burnson. You made your bed, now lie in it. Move on; seduce the woman you intend to seduce for the hell of it.
Para strolled alongside Asher, glancing at his face curiously as she read his thoughts. She squeezed his hand and stopped their stroll by asking softly, “What’s wrong?”
“I… I ran into my ex-girlfriend today,” Asher found himself saying, without intending to. He scowled at himself. Well, that's not how you seduce a woman. Great job, idiot.
Actually, sweetie, I ran into you. Para tried to conceal her smile. “What happened? Did you realize you're not over her?”
Over her! Does this girl even know who Amara is? You don’t get over someone like Amara Kalgren. You try your best to convince yourself there’s another reason to live—and fail miserably. Asher cleared his throat before speaking. “The way she looked at me… I can’t describe it. I guess it made me wonder if I’m really a good person.”
“Why would you question that?” Para asked, extremely curious to hear his answer.
“My dad was this… war hero, of sorts. Everyone loved him, and he was just the most noble and downright godly person you can imagine. I look a lot like him… but the truth is, on the inside, I'm nothing like that. Also, my brother is a monk. That’s not a metaphor—when his wife died he abandoned society to go to India and become a monk. Everyone in my family is so pure and perfect, and I just can’t even attempt to fill their shoes much less make my own.”
Para sighed. “Do you realize you have been more honest and open with me in the past… one minute and forty seconds than you have been in all the time I have known you?”
Asher shrugged. “I guess it’s tough for me to be myself around Thorn sometimes. He brings out the best and the worst in me.”
“I know that feeling,” she responded quietly. Para reached out on an impulse and gave Asher a small hug in an attempt to comfort him. She rested her cheek against his chest. Oh, Ash… why haven't you said such things to us? Why did you need to spill your heart out to a complete stranger? Well… he did ask Pax to talk this morning, and she did cruelly brush him off. I'm a bad niece…
“I hardly know you, Ash Burnson, but I think you're being too hard on yourself. Only a good person has such doubts about their own virtues,” said Para softly. A good person who does terrible things. I hope you feel sorry, and I hope you beat yourself up about it. You ruined the life we had together, you ruined everything… and you broke my heart.
“You couldn't possibly understand,” he said, but he hugged her back, slightly comforted by her words and embrace. “You haven’t met my family.”
"What about that violent niece of yours?" she suggested. There's one Burnson you'll agree isn't pure and perfect: me.
Asher smiled sadly. “Even Paxie. She may be aggressive, but inside she’s as good as gold if you get to know her. And I really let her down in the past few years. I could have been this cool uncle, a good role model, but I just… she always seemed more mature and grown-up than me. I never realized she needed my guidance until it was too late.”
“I’m sure there’s nothing you could have done,” Para said.
“No. There was lots.” Asher glanced out at the water again. Pax never would have killed that woman if I had trained her properly. “But the truth is, she’s still better than me. She fights for what she believes in. Me? I don't even know what I believe in. And even if I did know, I don't think I'd be strong enough to fight for it. I’d let it pass me by.”
She leaned back and looked at him with surprise. Who knew Asher had so much turmoil beneath that sweet, seemingly unperturbed surface? Maybe she hadn’t been as sensitive a girlfriend as she should have been. But of course you’d fight, Ash. It's who you are; you have fire deva blood in you. You went up against the Asura when my grandpa died and you were just a teenager. You survived the Spiritual Vector Zone, and a whole host of villainous creatures… you’ve always fought to protect those you love. What has made you feel so insecure?
Asher gave Para a small smile and took her hand, linking his fingers with hers and beginning to walk along the beach again. He gazed off into the distance, still imagining Amara’s house. All I know is that I was so happy with her. Happier than any man ever has the right to be. And I didn’t deserve that. She deserved so much better than a poor, stupid boy from the wilderness. I’m nothing.
Para sto
pped walking again, listening to his thoughts, and feeling chills run through her. She stared down at their feet—both of them were barefoot in the sand. Asher… why do you get to decide what I deserve? I loved you, and I wanted you. Sakra, if only I’d known the way you felt! If only I could have read your mind sooner and eased your every apprehension and doubt…
“Medea, can I ask for your professional advice on something?” asked Asher awkwardly, staring down at his feet and wiggling his toes in the sand. “It’s a weird question, but I think a doctor would know the answer.”
“Sure.”
“Is it possible for women who weren’t lesbians before to suddenly become lesbians? Like if something really bad happened, if they were mistreated by men?”
“Um, why do you ask?” Para chuckled, looking at him curiously to try to figure out where this was going. “That’s a tough question. There are both genetic and environmental factors.”
“Well, Thornton said that my niece and his sister might be lesbians.”
“What!” screeched Para, falling over. She lay sprawled, half in the sand, half in the water. She felt an explosion of giggles consume her, and she couldn’t suppress them.
“Medea! Are you okay?” asked Asher, falling to his knees at her side.
“Yes, I just stumbled,” she said, between giggles. “I’m so clumsy.”
“You have such a lovely laugh,” said Asher, smiling and leaning close to her.
He studied Para’s face intently, brushing his thumb along the line of her chin. It doesn’t really matter if Amara’s turned into a lesbian or not. I ruined everything as permanently as I could manage. Seize the fucking moment, Ash. Here’s a beautiful girl, right in front of you. An incredibly beautiful girl. She’s not Amara, but whatever. It will piss Thorn off if she chooses me instead of him, and that’s worth something at least. It’s for the best in the long run. I don’t deserve anything more than loneliness.
Para looked up at Asher frantically, fear dancing in her midnight blue eyes. No… if you really don’t want this, don’t do it! Just turn around and forget these damn games, and I will too. We’ll just go back to the way it used to be. We’ll just be happy together.
It’s finished with Mara forever, thought Asher with determination. I did the nastiest, foulest thing thinkable to make sure of it. She hates me; I could feel the ice in her glare. So, let me kiss this woman to solidify that. Let me finally pass that point of no return, where I hate myself so much that I wouldn’t even be able to condone begging Amara for forgiveness. I deserve worse than that evil look she gave me. Far worse. Here goes. No return.
Para leaned backwards, shocked to hear these thoughts. No! Don’t solidify. You mean, you haven’t kissed any other women? You haven't slept with a dozen other women? You haven’t cheated on me like Thorn did to Pax? But why all the flirting in the clubs? Why, Ash, why?
“Medea,” Asher was saying as he leaned in towards her and cradled her face in his hands. “There's something I’ve wanted to do since I first saw you. I know we hardly know each other… but for two strangers to kiss on the beach in the sunset is hardly a crime.”
God, you look so much like her, he thought as he moved forward and dipped his chin to place his lips against hers. He kissed her gently and probed her lips with his tongue until they became soft and parted. And you even taste a bit like her, if I just close my eyes and imagine…
Para wrapped her arms around Asher’s neck and she threw her body against his in response to his warm kiss. Asher, it’s me, it’s me! Please, let’s just forget about all this and just go home. I’ll tell you who I am and we can forget about this ridiculous charade…
Shut up, Amara. Seriously, I’m not going to let you take over Para and screw up our game. Why? Simply because of this: these are Asher’s private thoughts we’re hearing. He doesn’t mean for them to be public, and maybe even he himself will not acknowledge them. Don’t forget he’s my uncle and I love him too, and I want nothing more than for both of you to be together and happy. But unless he publicly and openly makes an apology to you; unless he comes out with all this, then I won’t allow you to be hurt again. I won't allow you to be the first to make a move toward him. Does that make sense?
Yes. Fine.
Let’s look on the bright side. At least his rebound woman is you.
Pax, can you save the lecture for a time when we're not kissing Ash? Seriously, I can’t concentrate on a damn thing you’re thinking. This is… so… good…
It’s not bad.
Not bad? Like you’ve had better. My brother is an office nerd and I bet he can’t kiss for beans.
Don’t even go there! Thorn has magic lips.
Ha! Wait until you see what else Asher can do with his mouth.
Para ripped her justifiably-schizophrenic self away from Asher and moved away, smiling coyly. She was wearing a white summer dress over a crimson red bikini, and she pulled the dress off and tossed it into the sand. She opened her small purse and pulled out two decorative chopsticks which she deftly used to tame her wild hair into a makeshift bun. Before closing her purse, she also discreetly activated her lipstick-looking simulator to see if it would have any discernable effect on Asher. No time like the present for testing products. She tied the small purse to her hip with her bikini string.
Para walked into the water, checking the time on her watch. She turned around once the water had reached her thighs and smiled. “Asher, want to know a secret about me?” she teased in a playful voice, cupping the water with her hands and splashing herself.
“What’s that, Medea?” he asked, already following her and gazing hungrily at her radiant exposed flesh.
“I’m part-mermaid,” she said with a wink, before disappearing under the waves. She swam just under the surface for a few seconds before coming up for air. Asher was already swimming beside her and she laughed.
“There’s a little sand bar we can rest on not too far from here. See it?” He pointed while treading water.
“Yep. Race you there!” Para dived under the water again and swam at what she believed was a human speed, but still pretty fast. Asher obviously was trying to do the same. It was a double deception. He let her reach the sand bar just before he did.
“Wow! You really are part-mermaid,” he said with a smile, crawling over to where she lay on the sand and positioning himself next to her.
She grinned, squeezing the water out of her hair. Although she was a strong swimmer, the sea was not her element in the least. It terrified her, and she would sooner dive into a burning blaze than into a seemingly-tranquil lake. “I bet you let me win,” she teased, running her finger over his dripping wet chest.
Asher couldn't resist gazing down at her body. Sakra, this woman is incredible. Just looking at her gets me so hard. She must work out, because that’s some serious muscle! Her body actually reminds me so much of Pax’s… I want to rip off that bikini-top and replace it with my mouth. Whoa! Weird sequence of thoughts, Ash. It's just that Pax was the last female I saw unclothed, and that's why I must be comparing her body to Medea's body. What delicious breasts. Her nipples are erect, they're just begging for my attention… and once I get her wet enough, I can make my way between her legs. Slowly, Asher. Slowly.
While Asher struggled with his thoughts of desire, Para couldn't help blushing as she listened in on them. What kind of asinine thoughts go through a man's brain? Sakra. He recognized my body as his niece's and he still wants to eat me out! Ewww… ohhhh. That is nice. I wonder if the simulator’s working?
Asher had begun to kiss and nibble on her neck and collarbone, working his way down to the exposed flesh of her breasts. He used his thumbs to massage circles around her nipples through the triangular pieces of fabric that formed her bikini. She gasped as he used his finger to shift her bikini top aside, and promptly captured her left nipple in his mouth. He began to suck and nibble ravenously on her breast, and Para felt the sensations spread through her deliciously. She couldn’t resist moaning and wri
thing under his hot tongue.
She had thought that knowing what he was about to do would make her less affected, but it was not so. It only added to the anticipation. Perhaps the most exciting part of all this was that he didn’t know who she was. Para’s fingers found their way into Asher’s hair and she found herself gripping his scalp a bit too forcefully as her body ached with pleasure. She felt herself losing control over suppressing her life force as she relaxed—she fought to regain focus so that her energy didn’t spike upward dangerously. A red, fiery glow suddenly surrounding her would be too suspicious. She tried to relax her grip on his hair.
“God, Ash…” she found herself gasping as he moved his lips to her other breast, leaving the other one exposed and so sensitive that even the cool breeze stimulated it tantalizingly. He moved his hand down to her stomach. He placed the palm of his hand flat against her abdomen, directly over her womb, and released a small but warm river of pure energy into her body. As his life force mingled with her own and spread through the channels around the organs responsible for reproduction she felt her body reacting independently—she felt her muscles constricting in a powerful spontaneous orgasm.
During the moment of her release she almost forgot to suppress her energy, but she was barely able to maintain control and prevent her body from bursting into flame. Her chest heaved with her deep breaths, and she hoped that Asher hadn’t noticed her orgasm—it was a bit embarrassing that she was able to climax so quickly. But then, he was very skilled and had pushed all the right buttons. He had attacked her from the inside. She saw him smirking, and she knew that he knew. He must have felt the muscles in her stomach contract, and he must have noticed the small spike in her prana, regardless of how she tried to restrain herself.
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