Para smiled at him amorously, but little did he know that it was the unspoken compliment in his mind which warmed her heart. The words which he could not speak, for fear of offending her. They were in no possible way true in the factual sense—both Para and Thornton knew this. Para was mysterious and strikingly beautiful while, in comparison, Pax was a plain and simple girl. But with beauty being in the eye of the beholder, the fact that Thornton felt plain Pax was lovelier than the radiant Para meant a lot to her. Was Para herself offended? Not in the least.
He moved his hand up to cup her chin, and brushed his thumb along her jaw. He searched her indigo eyes, as though the answers to every mystery of life lay within their hue. They were so deeply midnight blue that he felt the same sensation he felt when looking up at the starry night sky. Respect, admiration, awe, and yet familiarity. He could get lost in such eyes, the same way he could get lost in watching the heavens. He imagined that there was just as much mystery and wonder within this woman as there was beyond the stars and in distant galaxies. He had seen a bit of that, once.
He let his fingers drift back into the hair at the nape of her neck, and lightly caress her scalp. He ran his fingers through her hair, or at least through a few inches of it. She closed her eyes for a few seconds, savoring the sensation, but she opened them again to watch him as his hands drifted down her back and rested again at her waist. In the corset her waist was so small that his large hands almost encircled her completely.
Fuelled by raw desire and naïve wonder, Thornton tightened his grip around her waist and slowly drew her body close so that it was pressed flush against his. He felt her breasts press against his chest and her hips press against his own hips. Her arms naturally moved up along his arms, and circled behind his neck, until the two were wrapped up in one another.
Their energy mixed and hummed around them as the passion mounted, neither of them noticing the transparent white aura. Thornton inhaled the scent of her skin, moving his hands slowly over her back. He mused at how easily a tug of his fingers could rip the garments apart, and expose her bare flesh to him completely. He could throw her down on the floor and have her right there in the dressing room. He would definitely make her scream, but he could clamp a hand over her mouth to muffle it.
Para heard these thoughts of his and felt shivers of fear and currents of delicious electricity run through her. She could experience every facet of his feeling through his thoughts and his radiating energy. Even without the mystical and spiritual connection to his psyche to gauge and share his arousal, she could see the desire in the hard glint of his sapphire eyes. She was lost as she stared into their depths, and she couldn't help leaning in closer to him.
She is magnificent. Magnificent. I must have her. I have to remember to be gentle so I don't destroy her body… she isn't Pax.
Para couldn't help smiling. The fact that Thornton was thinking of dominating her made her grow extremely aroused, and she could feel the moisture beginning to gather at the junction of her thighs. No, I'm not Pax. I'm stronger. Destroy me, Thornton, just try it. Take my body just like you want to.
All this tension and their lips had not even met yet. The two just continued to gaze at each other, as though they were afraid to unleash whatever torrents could result from that amalgamation of flesh. It would be an entirely different kind of amalgamation than Para already was. Thornton wondered to himself why he was afraid and he wondered why she looked so confident, why she was smiling. He briefly envisioned Pax's face with the same expression on it.
He’s so much more cautious and refined than Asher, Para thought to herself. This is why I love him. He’s measured and meticulous—he makes each breath and each millisecond count. He doesn’t treat the female body greedily, as a delicious thing to devour—no! Thorn considers it a sacred thing to worship. And he worships so well. Para finally became the aggressor and closed the distance between them. She tugged his head down so that his face met hers, capturing his lips in their second first kiss.
Despite the massive yearning in both devas, the kiss was restrained and chaste. It was hesitant and wary as though their lips were testing and analyzing. It tasted like the few seconds before an explosion. The rumbling in the ground before a cataclysm. And cherries.
Perhaps it was the extraordinary coincidence of the manner in which their bodies and lips met, or perhaps it was the unusual combination of their thoughts and feelings when it occurred, but both of their minds were catapulted back in time about twelve years, to a hauntingly vivid memory. It is possible the memory belonged to Thornton and Para was only sharing in it because of her ability to read minds. It is also possible that the magic of the moment invoked the same memory in both of them. For whatever reason, it flooded their consciousness completely.
Pax was leaning her chin on her forearms, with her forehead lightly resting on the glass window. She gazed off into space, focusing on the growing star in the distance that she knew was their own dear Sun. She had been staying like this for hours each night and she barely slept.
"Bree. Bree. Pax require rest for maximum function."
"Shhh, Bree," she whispered to the little robot puppy. In an attempt to cheer Pax up after the death of her mother, Rose Kalgren had given her a special prototype of a puppy with artificial intelligence. At first, Pax had considered the gift retarded, but she had quickly begun taking the small robot everywhere with her. She had named it Briar, which was similar to her mother’s name, but also followed the Kalgren theme. Pax pressed a finger to her lips, although she knew the robot could not process the action. "Thorn is sleeping. I know I should be too, but I have too much on my mind."
Little did she know that Thornton wasn't sleeping. He watched her from the bed on the opposite side of the room, as he often did. Their trip was nearly over, and while the initial excitement of being in space had kept Pax constantly buzzing with nosy questions, the thrill had quickly died down to normalcy. He couldn't ignore Pax's quiet and solemn vigil. The girl had been so loud and obnoxious before her mother had passed away—almost to the point of being a spoiled brat. Since then, she had been transformed into a silent and pensive creature. Seeing her like this scared him more than just a little.
"Bree. Bree. Pax miss home?"
Pax turned to look at her soccer-ball sized companion. She smiled and reached her arms out to embrace the puppy. She pulled the little machine close to her chest.
"Oh, Bree," she said. "Yes and no. It's too much to explain."
Thornton swallowed back a lump of emotion as he watched her. In the night, when she took off her tomboyish ponytail and let her hair down, when she put on those adorable red pajamas, she transformed into such a soft and vulnerable creature. And unbelievably wise beyond her years.
How many times he'd listened to her whispering to Bree in the dark, and how many times he'd wanted to go to her! To speak with her, to console her. It was lonely and disconcerting to be out here in space. Too lonely for a young girl who was growing and discovering life, and full of questions and new thoughts and ideas, too lonely for her to be conversing only with an inadequate piece of artificial intelligence. He wanted to give her the human companionship she needed and deserved.
Now they were so close to home, and this celestial voyage was almost over. It had only been a test run, but Pax’s childlike wonder had turned it into an adventure. Now, they would return to their ordinary lives. He would go back to working his mind numb at the office, and she would go back to preschool, or kindergarten or something of the sort. He watched her silently stare out into the night, and he corrected himself mentally that she was actually in high school. She had grown up so quickly, right under his nose, and he had hardly noticed. What he did notice was that she possessed knowledge and insight (and strength of course) far beyond most of the people he worked with in the office.
"I don't really belong there, Bree," she admitted so quietly that Thornton would not have heard if not for superhuman senses.
This was the last straw. He forcefully shoved himsel
f off his mattress and crossed the room to Pax's hammock, sitting beside her.
She was startled and let go of Briar, turning to look at Thornton with surprise. “Sorry, Thorn. Didn't mean to wake you. I'll keep it down.”
“I’m not an old man—you don’t have to be quiet so I can sleep. What’s wrong?”
She looked at him, her large dark eyes shining in the soft bluish starlight from the window. This might be one of the last times he ever saw her face like that, he realized. On earth there were so many forms of artificial light that it was blinding. Pure starlight was a very rare circumstance.
She had not responded, but she blinked, staring at him curiously. Was she observing his face in the same way?
"Pax? We'll be home soon. Won't you be happy to see your dad again? And Uncle Ash? Grandma Amelia?”
"I am happy," she said breathlessly, before closing her eyes and letting a small smile touch her lips. Thornton observed the girl with wonder, almost feeling as though she were suddenly a stranger. She seemed to transform into someone he barely knew in the starlight.
"Paxie?" he asked again softly, resisting the urge to move closer to her, or to reach out and hug her. He knew those things were innocent friendly gestures he had made countless times before, but somehow the lighting and the moment felt too uncertain.
She opened her eyes and twisted her mouth to the side. "You know, I exist only in liminality."
Thornton was floored. Wasn’t she fourteen? How did she even know what that word meant? Her black hair had such a strange metallic quality in this ambience. He did reach out and touch her hair then, tucking it behind her ear. He had to make sure that she was really human, and not one of his mother’s perfect robots.
"What do you mean?" he inquired, prodding her to continue.
She smiled weakly. "I don't want to bore you with my trivial teenage troubles."
"Pax," he said with a low threatening growl, almost demanding that she continue. How dare she open up to Briar but not to him? Thornton glared angrily at the innocent puppy.
Pax looked surprised at his demanding tone. Thornton was rarely anything but gentle. “Well, I don't fit in very well with the humans on earth. Even if I wasn’t a freak, I would still be considered a freak.”
“Ah, your abilities are making it tough for you to fit in? Ash and I had the same trouble, but we had each other. Luckily, you have Mara!”
“No, I don’t. Mara has a new clique of rich, fashionable friends. They suit her more than I do. She’s hardly said a word to me in years.”
“That little bi… um, bigot. I’ll speak to her when we get home.”
“No. I don’t want her pity and fake friendship. Besides, I am not interested in wasting my time on superficial things like clothes and makeup. Before mom…” Pax hesitated. It was still too fresh to talk about it casually. “I used to spend all my time reading up on ancient magick and practicing my powers. Even then, Amara was all about the fashion magazines. Now, I read mostly about biology and anatomy. Grandma Amelia wants me to be a doctor.”
“Wow! I didn’t know you were considering that.”
Pax shrugged. “It’s not really a passion or anything. I figure that I might as well try to make Grandma happy. I miss practicing. I crave it so badly, and I’ve tried to fill the hole with a social life, but you should see how badly I fail. I've gone out on a few dates…"
"You're too young to be dating!"
Pax's shoulders moved in a silent chuckle as she looked at him in a way that made him know that she thought otherwise. “My strength scares them away, along with my burning hands. Boys are terrified of me, girls even worse. I have no friends. I'm not really great at being human. Neither am I fully a deva. To powerful warriors like Vincent and my dad, even to you and Ash… I'm pretty much worthless.”
"You could never be worthless to us, Pax! We all love you."
"Oh, please!" she held up her hand to silence him. "I have never been treated as though I was a real deva, and you know it. I'm neither human nor goddess, just hovering somewhere between. I'm not a child, nor am I totally an adult. And worst of all…" She looked at him with embarrassment as she said this next part. "I'm not feminine, nor am I masculine. I'm not ugly, but I'm not beautiful either. I wish I could be more like Amara. How could anyone ever want to be with me?"
Thornton looked at her in surprise as she turned away from him and forced a light laugh to ease her distress from the moment of honesty. He studied the tension in the muscles of her face and her downcast eyes. He felt himself moving and speaking before he had given it any thought.
"Paxie," he said gently, guiding her chin so he could look into her eyes. "I will give you my honest opinion. Right now, as I look at you in the starlight, to me, you are absolutely perfect.”
“Oh, please,” she said again, reflexively.
“I mean it,” he said, taking her hands. He began to remove her gloves; she tried to resist at first, but then complied once she remembered who he was. When her palms were naked, he pressed his palms against hers, demonstrating that he could handle the heat easily. He could see the discomfort she felt in touching the skin of another person, and he moved her hand up to press it firmly against his cheek. “Look, Pax. You can’t hurt me. I’m not afraid. I know exactly who you are; all of your strength and vulnerability, all of your humanity and your deva abilities, I understand it all completely. All of your innocence and wisdom, your femininity and that tomboy streak; everything about you is perfect. To me, you are the most beautiful creature that could possibly exist."
Pax stared at him with eyes wide in astonishment and almost disbelief to hear Thornton speaking to her like this. His words, his touch, they were comforting and kind—but there was something more than that. They were romantic. She studied his face, trying to understand where this speech and these emotions had come from. Was he just pitying her because of her mother’s death?
"I promise you someday you won't feel as insecure,” Thornton said. He moved his thumb over the palm of her hand. “This will all pass soon. The situations will be the same, but you will accept them much more than you do now. You'll grow to be more comfortable with yourself and in your own skin before you realize it’s even happening."
"Thank you, Thorn," she whispered, gazing at him gratefully as she mentally committed his words to memory. Someday when she felt alone and inadequate again, she'd remember that Thornton had thought she was perfect in the pure starlight. But it was likely that it ended there.
Thornton glanced down at the robotic puppy which was staring at them with something resembling curiosity. He frowned and telekinetically tossed the puppy across the room, just in case his mother had installed a camera somewhere on the makeshift beast. Returning his attention to Pax, he could see that she was mulling over his unexpected words. This was the first serious conversation they’d had in years. Hesitantly, he closed the distance between them, and slipped his arm around her waist. He smiled down at her as their noses almost touched and spoke as softly as possible.
"You asked how could anyone want to be with you? Well, I want to be with you. If you’d like that. Heck, even if you wouldn’t I’m going to try to win your heart anyway, and maybe I’ll change your mind.”
Pax seemed frozen in shock. “Why?” she asked.
Thornton laughed. “Lots of reasons. But you’re only fourteen and you’re already exactly the kind of smart, serious woman that I’ve been searching for. If you continue growing at this rate, you’re going to blow my mind. And of course, you’re a goddess.”
“Only like a quarter or a sixteenth,” she said modestly, to offset the embarrassment of receiving all these compliments at once.
“It doesn’t matter. You’ve done more with the power you possess than people with twenty times the power have managed to do. You’ve studied and worked hard to improve yourself. You’re a pretty impressive kid, Paxie.”
She finally smiled at this. She squeezed his hands thankfully, finally allowing herself to believe that he w
as telling the truth. “You’re not so bad yourself, Mr. Kalgren.”
He chuckled at the way she mockingly emphasized his name to highlight his age. “Someday, when you're a little bit older, you and I are going to be together. As a couple. Once you're legal for me to pursue down on the planet Earth, I'm going to have you as my own, Paxie. For keeps. And I'll never let you go."
He was so bold and decisive. Pax stared at him wordlessly for a few minutes. She felt as though she were in some kind of surreal dream. What fourteen-year-old girl having a quiet and sad moment alone on a spaceship suddenly had a heroic prince come and say the most uplifting and romantic things possible to her? Life was full of surprises. She'd seen a lot of strange things from strange perspectives since they’d left the planet’s atmosphere, but this surprised her the most. In a good way. My sweet Thorn, she thought before a smile transformed her lips. She tried her best to keep the smile from being too large.
He seemed uncomfortable with her lack of response, and he spoke again. "I never told you this before because I didn't want to seem like a creepy old man. I mean, 28 isn’t that old, but I know I must seem ancient to you. Once you graduate the difference will seem smaller—and plus we have those nifty extended lifespans. I didn't want to freak you out by telling you I was interested, but I just know that someday things will be like this. I won't stop you from dating those human boys your age. Heck, I’ll probably keep dating supermodels to keep up appearances. I just thought it was a good time to tell you that there’s someone who definitely wants to be with you someday. I won't interfere with your freedom for many years."
"My freedom!" Pax exclaimed. She abruptly ripped her hand away from his and hit him in the face. “Don’t you dare!”
Thornton was immediately worried that he had said too much, too soon. "Pax…"
"Don’t you dare date those stupid supermodels!” she said with a frown. “You can’t say things like this to me and go back to acting like nothing happened. I’ll never be free again.”
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