Dreams (New Beginnings Book 3)

by Michelle Lynn

  “I told you I want nothing to do with hockey. Not now. Not ever. I can’t deal with that. I don’t want to hear you talk about it. I won’t go to games. I don’t even want to be in the arena. And for God’s sake, keep the guys on your team completely separate from me.”

  “Alright.” He sighed.

  They ordered their food and then waited for it in silence.

  Taylor used to love hockey. She was proud that her dad was a coach. His team in Portland had been like her second family. Stats, prospects, standings … nothing escaped her mind. Until now.

  She blamed hockey for taking Danny from her. He had been training when he went into cardiac arrest. It turned out he had an undetected heart condition, but she couldn’t help wondering if he hadn’t been pushing himself so hard at hockey, would he still be alive?

  “Are you excited to move into the dorms next week?” he asked, trying to relieve the tension.

  “Not really, no.”

  “It’ll be good for you.”

  “Maybe,” she muttered lowly.

  She had already deferred college for a year. When they found out about the possibility of this job for her dad, her mom put in an application for her to Ohio State. And a dorm request. They thought it was time she have a life of her own.

  Maybe it was. She didn’t know anything anymore.

  With the topics of hockey and college off limits, she found they didn’t have much else to talk about. Lunch was uncomfortable to say the least.

  When the bill came, her dad paid and then said he had to head out to make it back for the team meeting. Taylor knew they were both secretly glad to be going their separate ways.

  Three

  The week passed slowly. Taylor hung around the house, playing with her little sister and reading. She loved books. They were the only thing that could get her out of her own head. It sounded cliché to call them an escape, but that’s exactly what they were for her.

  Taylor looked up from her book when there was a knock on her bedroom door.

  “Come in,” she called.

  Her mom entered and walk towards her with her hands clasping something behind her back. “You have your stuff all packed into the car?”

  “Well, it was already packed up from the move from Portland. So, yeah.” Taylor looked back down at her book, hoping her mom would get the hint.

  “I found something when I was unpacking some boxes downstairs.” Her mom sat on the corner of the bed and held out the sketchpad she had been concealing.

  Taylor glanced up quickly and then looked away. “I don’t want it.”

  “Honey, you used to love to draw.”

  Taylor remembered that all too well. She used to sit for hours perfecting her sketches. It soothed her. Danny would sit with her, playing his guitar. They were perfect moments. Moments she couldn’t bear to corrupt by creating new ones without him.

  “I used to love a lot of things, Mom.”

  “Do you really think he’d want this, Taylor?”

  “No, because he wouldn’t want to be dead,” she snapped, closing her book. This conversation again, she thought.

  “He also wouldn’t want you giving up everything that makes you you. Swimming … drawing … even smiling.” She reached out to touch her daughter’s cheek, but then drew her arm back.

  “First of all, I don’t swim anymore because I graduated high school. Drawing doesn’t hold an appeal. And smiling, well, there’s just nothing left to smile about.”

  “That’s where you’re wrong. You still have your family. You’re alive. Even Danny should still make you smile. His memory. Honey, it’s been over a year. I just want to see you at least trying to move on.”

  Taylor stood, wanting to get away from her mother. The worst thing was that she knew her mom was right. She always was. But, she couldn’t feel anything these days. She knew they loved her, yet she didn’t feel loved. She knew this was a fresh start, but hope eluded her. Thinking of Danny made her both want to smile and cry, cancelling each other out and not allowing her to do either.

  “Robin?” Taylor’s dad’s voice sounded from downstairs.

  “Up here, Doug,” her mom called back.

  “You ladies ready to go?”

  Taylor’s mom looked at her pointedly and she nodded. They walked down the stairs in silence before Taylor got into her car and followed her parents towards her new school. The tower where Taylor would live for the school year was only about a twenty-minute drive.

  She waited in line to get her key while her parents started unloading the cars. Surrounded by other students, Taylor found herself unable to look any of them in the eye.

  She retrieved her key and before long, she was standing outside her new room with her family close behind. They set down their heavy loads as soon as they were through the door to the suite. Six girls would be sharing this living space as well as the bathroom.

  Her room was the third one back. As she pushed open the door, she was all but accosted by a tall girl with curly blond hair that bounced as she walked. She threw her long arms around Taylor and squeezed once before letting go.

  “Oh my God, hi!” She spoke with a thick southern drawl. “You must be my roommate!”

  “Yeah.” Taylor adjusted her glasses and looked down at her feet.

  “I’m Abigail.” The girl didn’t seem to sense Taylor’s discomfort as she remained close. “Abigail Stewart.”

  “This is Taylor Scott.” Mom in for the save.

  Taylor finally looked up and met Abigail’s shockingly blue eyes, who was pulling on one of her curls as she regarded the quiet girl in front of her and then it bounced back into place.

  Taylor’s dad walked in and dumped the final load on her bed.

  “I’m Evie!” Evie stepped between the girls and looked up at Abigail as if she couldn’t believe she wasn’t introduced.

  “Nice to meet you, Evie.” Abigail stifled a laugh.

  “Well, Tay, we’re going to go now that you’re settled.” Her dad kissed the top of her head.

  “Love you, sweetie.” Her mom gave her a tight hug.

  “Bye,” Taylor said quietly.

  “Aren’t you coming with us, sissy?” Evie asked, her eyes growing wider.

  Taylor bent down and hugged her sister. “I’ll come see you soon.”

  She watched as her family exited the room, leaving her with this complete stranger that was bubbly and excited. Basically everything Taylor was not.

  “So, there’s this party tonight,” Abigail said.

  Taylor groaned and flopped down on her bed.

  ###

  “And here in the wild, we have a Taylor Scott. These animals are dangerous, but they’re an endangered species, with only one of their kind anywhere in the world.” The camera spun from a laughing Taylor to Danny, the speaker.

  His grin lit up the screen on Taylor’s laptop.

  “You bet your ass I’m dangerous.” Taylor stood and walked towards the camera that was now pointed at her again.

  They were outside at the Jones’ house, hanging by the pool. Danny used to take video of everything on his phone. He’d send them all to her right after taking them. She never deleted a single one.

  “You wouldn’t hurt me, baby,” his smooth voice said.

  “And why is that?” She put her hands on her hips.

  His face appeared before the camera. “Because she loves me,” he whispered.

  “What did you say?”

  “Only that you looooove me.” He grinned again, a single dimple appearing in his cheek.

  She laughed and wrapped her arms around his waist. “I do.” She kissed his bare shoulder.

  “See,” Danny said to the camera. “I told you.”

  The screen went black and Taylor shut the lid of her laptop, not ready to torture herself with more of his videos. She wiped her damp face on her sleeve and sunk back against her pillows. Everyone told her that crying would make her feel better, help her cope. That was never the case. It only made he
r feel more miserable. Her chest heaved painfully and she took a deep breath to calm herself down.

  She remembered that day. After she finally convinced Danny to turn the camera off, Sarah came running out of the house to cannonball into the pool. It was a good day.

  Taylor sighed and looked at the clock. Three in the morning and her roommate still wasn’t back from the party. Taylor had declined to go, and it was looking like a good decision. Sleep still eluded her, so she turned on the bedside lamp and grabbed her Kindle. Time for a trip into someone else’s mind.

  ###

  “Walker, my office,” Coach Scott disappeared around the corner, and Josh followed him.

  It felt a little like being sent to the principal’s office. In his rookie year, every time he was asked to see one of the coaches, he assumed he was getting sent to the AHL. That was how hockey worked. No one expected him to stick for the whole season. He didn’t think he had to worry about that now, but it was always in the back of his mind. That or a trade. When you’re not a superstar, nothing is surprising.

  Josh sat across from Coach Scott and waited for him to speak.

  “I want to try moving you up in the line-up,” he said. “See how you do on Mack’s wing.”

  “Really, Coach?” Josh’s jaw hung open.

  “Yes, really. What, you think I’m bullshitting you?” He leaned forward and looked Josh in the eye.

  “No, Sir.”

  “I’m going to need a lot more from you,” he continued. “You’ll get more ice time.”

  “I can do it,” Josh said, a grin spreading across his face.

  “I know you can, son. But, understand, this is an experiment. Your buddy Mack can’t seem to play well with others, and I need him to be less of a lone wolf. Coach Peterson has pawned off the Mackenzie problem on me.”

  “I understand.” Josh got up to leave, but Coach Scott stopped him.

  “I have something else I need to ask of you.”

  “Anything, Coach.” Josh waited expectantly.

  “I want you to work with one of the young rooks. Carter Neil. We think he might stick when the season starts. He’s very green, but also very good.”

  “What do you need from me?” Josh clasped his hands behind his back and stood still.

  “Just show him the ropes. He missed the start of training camp, but he’ll be here today and wants to come in for a quick on-ice workout. We’re not holding a spot for him, but we’re fully prepared for him to come in and earn one.”

  “I’ll be here.”

  “Good man,” Coach Scott said, nodding his head towards the door. “That’s all I needed. You can go.”

  Josh was grinning when he walked into the locker room to find Mack waiting for him. He’d never started on the first line before. It was a big deal. Normally, a guy like him wouldn’t get the chance. Increased ice time. Increased value to the team. He wasn’t much of a goal scorer, but maybe that was about to change with a center like Mack. Now all he had to do was tame the beast.

  He wanted a long hockey career. It was the only thing he’d ever wanted to do in his life. He felt more at home on the ice than he did anywhere else. Everyone had their sanctuaries. That was his.

  There were so many things he gave up to get to where he was. All he ever did was work to improve his game. But it was okay, because it was all paying off.

  “What’d coach want?” Mack asked as they pushed through the glass doors into the sun.

  “Someone’s getting a new winger.” Josh threw an arm over Mack’s shoulders and punched him in the stomach.

  “Finally,” Mack said, ducking out of Josh’s grasp and shoving him. “Someone that will make me look good.”

  “Yeah, you need all the help you can get.” They were both laughing.

  “This calls for a drink!” Mack clapped him on the back.

  “If by ‘drink’ you mean delicious protein shake before a long nap so I can return here later to meet the new kid.”

  “All work and no play-“

  “Don’t finish that,” Josh cut him off.

  “Means you need to get laid.”

  Josh snorted. “Haven’t heard that variation.”

  “I wrote it just for you.” Mack held his hand over his heart before punching Josh in the shoulder.

  “At least you’re good at something,” Josh laughed before ducking away from a second punch.

  “Fine,” Mack sighed mockingly. “I’ll just have to enjoy tonight’s shenanigans and the puck bunnies I had lined up all by myself.” He shook his head dramatically. “The things I do for you.”

  “I’m going to try to forget you just said ‘puck bunny.’”

  “What?” Mack feigned insult. “I’m not going to pretend they’re only into me for my devilishly handsome looks.” He shrugged. “Doesn’t bother me. You should meet some of these girls.”

  “I don’t want a relationship to distract me from anything right now.”

  “Who said anything about relationships?” Mack winked.

  Josh chuckled beside him. Mack had been this way for the entire two years Josh lived with him. Some things never changed. Meaningless nights held no appeal for Josh, and anything more would just have to wait. He was a hundred percent committed to becoming more than a third line spare part to this team. Especially now that he was getting his chance. Nothing else mattered.

  ###

  Josh felt good as he laced up his skates. First line. He knew he’d never get that chance if it wasn’t for his closeness with Mack. An experiment. That’s all it was.

  Mack had an intensely creative mind when it came to hockey plays. The problem was, his wingers weren’t mind-readers, so his out-of-the-box plays fell flat. They wanted to see if their star center-man’s best friend could read his mind.

  Josh shrugged. He’d learned to take opportunities any way they came.

  He expected to run into the kid in the locker room, and was surprised when he stepped out onto the practice rink to find him already there. Josh stood still for a moment, watching him run drills by himself. He was fast, that was obvious.

  Looking up into the stands, Josh realized he wasn’t the only one watching. Coach Scott sat there with the general manager.

  The kid on the ice was a highly-touted prospect, Josh understood that. He was only eighteen, a very recent draft pick, and he looked every bit his age. His tall frame had yet to fill out, leaving him lanky and a little awkward-looking. But he didn’t skate awkwardly. He had a surprising mixture of grace and power.

  Josh moved forward and the kid finally noticed him and stopped skating.

  “You’re fast,” Josh said.

  “And you’re Josh Walker,” he responded, a tight smile twitching on his lips.

  “I am.”

  The kid skated over to the wall to take a long drink from his water bottle. “Carter Neil,” he finally said.

  Josh didn’t keep up to date on the team’s prospects, but the name rang a bell.

  “Coach send you out here?” Carter lifted his chin in Coach Scott’s direction.

  “He did, but I usually come back a few hours after practice for a workout anyways.”

  “Me too.” Carter took another drink before setting the bottle down. “What do you say?” He nodded toward the cones on the ice.

  “Let’s do it.”

  Carter explained the drill he was doing. Josh recognized it and they set off, each trying to best the other.

  Josh’s skating was a source of pride for him. The one part of his game he knew was better than most. Carter matched him stride for stride.

  They went through a few different drills and before long, they were soaked in sweat and breathing heavily. Josh loved that feeling: when his chest tightened and strained, when his legs ached. It told him he was working hard, getting better.

  They both stopped for water. “It’s a bit overwhelming, isn’t it?” Josh asked after a while. “Your first NHL camp.”

  Carter studied him for a moment. “I’ve been f
reaking out a bit,” he admitted sheepishly. “That’s why I had to be on the ice tonight. When I’m skating, it’s the only time I don’t feel like I’m going to puke.”

  Josh laughed. “We’ve all been there.”

  “But you did it. You made the team out of your first camp and never got sent down.”

  Josh quirked an eyebrow, and Carter shrugged. “I may have read up on the team a lot after I was drafted. I want this so bad. Ever since the Jackets called my name, I’ve told myself that this is the year. I’m ready.”

  “You’re not the only one who thinks so.” Josh gestured to where Coach Scott was still watching them, alone now.

  “But how do you do it? There are so many guys trying to make the team right now.”

  Josh smiled, flashing back to his very first camp. He’d had a similar conversation with Olle, who was now the captain. He gave him the best advice he’d ever gotten.

  “This is what was told to me at my first camp and they’re words to live by,” Josh paused, trying to recall the exact words. “Be the hardest worker out there. The most willing to drop down to block a shot. The first to jump into the fight. Keep your feet moving and your head up. Don't take stupid penalties. Don’t worry too much about scoring. The chances will find you if the rest of your game is solid.”

  “Okay.” Carter breathed out slowly, looking more freaked than before.

  Josh put a heavy hand on his shoulder. “You’ll do fine, kid. You know how to play this game. You’ve been doing it your whole life. Just play your game. Now let’s see what you can do with a puck on your stick.”

  He skated away to grab their sticks and a bag of pucks.

  Carter was an adequate puck handler, but he’d get better. Josh watched patiently and gave him a few adjustments. They spent the better part of an hour on the ice before hitting the showers and going to grab a bite to eat.

  Josh genuinely liked the kid and wanted to see him in the locker room come opening night. All he could do was work with him and hope for the best.

  Four

  Classes started for Taylor without much fanfare. It was a massive school, meaning she could disappear in a lecture hall full of students. It suited her just fine.