Still, she shook her head, clinging to her belief that he was noble. “Why are you trying to make me think you did this?”
“Because I did. I am evil. I have taken so many lives…” He shook his head. “I didn’t remember your mother until you told me what happened. Even now, it is you I remember more than her. Because I let you live.”
Her large, lovely eyes filled with tears as belief filtered in. She reached back for her chemise and pulled it in front of her, concealing her nakedness. “Why?” she asked in a thick, strangled voice. “Why did you kill her? Why did you take her from me?”
Damien’s jaw clenched. “Because I was ordered to kill her.”
And then, Damien watched apprehension fill Aurora. Understanding. Horror. She saw him for who he truly was. For the vile monster he had always been. And Damien hated himself. He hated who he had been, who he had become. Who he was. He hated that he took all those lives instead of facing Roke’s wrath. But most of all, he hated hurting Aurora. “I wanted you to know the truth. I wanted you to see me for who I truly am. I am not honorable or noble. I never can be.”
A sob tore lose from her lips.
Damien stared at her agony. He wanted to wrap her in his embrace and beg her to forgive him. But it was too late. “I would change it all for you if I could,” he whispered, his words strangely thick.
She recoiled from him as his victims had, shrinking from him like a wilting flower. He had been so desperate to be close to her light, to her goodness, that he forgot who he was. In the face of her gentle smile, he forgot the pain he brought to others. In the light of her love, he began to believe he could be different. Noble. Honorable. Instead, he brought his darkness to her.
Disgusted with himself, Damien turned his back to her. “Come. I will see you safely back to your father.”
He walked toward the cave entrance, waiting for her to don her chemise. When Aurora joined him at the entrance, Damien looked up at the sky.
It had stopped raining.
They rode back to Castle Acquitaine in complete silence. Aurora remained stiff and distant.
Guilt weighed heavily on Damien’s shoulders. He wanted to explain. He wanted to make her understand. But he knew no words he said could ever make what he had done right. He was tainted with evil. He could never be good. He had been a fool to let himself believe, to hope.
He knew that in failing his mission, Roke would send assassins after him. He would never be safe. He did not want that. He wanted to be truly free. And he knew he had earned his freedom, many times over. He earned every day of happiness he could get. And there had been none. Not one. Not until he came to Acquitaine and laid eyes on Aurora. She brought him happiness.
And he brought her pain.
He knew the truth now. Aurora meant everything to him. He would see she was safe. That she could live the rest of her life safely. In peace. A peace he would never know.
His freedom was no longer as important as she was.
As they neared the gates of the castle, Damien threw a blanket over her shoulders, tugging it down over her face. “You’ll be safer if no one knows you’re here.”
She said nothing, avoiding his gaze.
Damien called up to the guards and they allowed him entrance. He maneuvered the horse through the courtyard leisurely. His eyes darted all about them, searching. He wanted to be as quiet and unobtrusive as he could. He left Imp at the front of the keep and dismounted, then offered Aurora his hand.
She slid from the large horse without taking his offer of help and hurriedly entered the keep.
Damien followed her into the castle, trying to ignore the sting of her slight. She headed for the Great Hall.
Damien caught her arm and shook his head. He quickly led her through the corridor and into the stairwell. He guided her up the stairs and down a hallway, bypassing her chambers. He turned down another passageway and almost collided into a servant. He pushed past the startled girl, Aurora in tow. He wanted to look at Aurora, to make sure she was all right, but he dared not for fear the sight of her tragic understanding would be his undoing.
He moved down the corridor. He couldn’t look at her. He wanted to remember her smile, her eyes lit with happiness. He needed to remember his image of an honorable, brave man reflected in her eyes. He was afraid if he looked at her now, he would see disappointment and scorn and… hate. He didn’t want to see those emotions in her eyes.
They came to Lord Gabriel’s solar. Damien eased the door open and pulled her into the room. She would be safe here. There would be no assassin lurking in this room. They would not have expected her return and even if they had, her father’s solar would not be a place they would look for her.
Damien paused in the doorway when he spotted a figure near the dying hearth.
Lord Gabriel sat in a high backed chair with his head bowed in his hands. He looked up when the door opened.
A mere heartbeat passed before Aurora lurched forward.
Damien stopped her with a firm grip on her arm. For a moment, he could only stare at her thin arm in his dark grip, her pale skin highlighted against his darker tone. He didn’t want her to leave him. He didn’t want to let her slip out of his life. And yet, he knew he had to let her go. “It was Roke,” he whispered. “He hired me to kill you.”
Aurora stood stoically.
Damien didn’t want to release her. He didn’t want her to leave him. Even with her disappointment and her hurt, she was at his side. If he let her go, he would never feel her light again. He would never be able to touch her, kiss her, or simply look at her. He knew he would never see her again, but Damien also knew it could be no other way. He was a killer, who had lived his life in darkness. He should count himself lucky to have felt the warmth of light for a moment.
He opened his hand.
Aurora rushed toward her father.
Gabriel stood upon recognizing his daughter. The two embraced, sobbing.
Damien stood in the shadows near the doorway, far enough from the heat of the hearth to feel a chill. To feel cold. Aurora was safe. Her father would watch over her now. Damien moved backward toward the door. He had to finish it. The task ahead of him was dangerous. Roke would not be easy to kill. But he had to do it so Aurora could be safe.
Damien turned to leave. He took a step but could not help looking back. The blanket had slipped from her shoulders and her beautiful golden hair shone in the hearth light like glittering gold. She was enfolded in her father’s arms with her head on his shoulder. Her tearful blue gaze met Damien’s across the room in a solemn, painful goodbye. Damien would remember the glimmering agony he saw reflected in her eyes for the rest of his life. It tore at his heart, leaving him breathless with guilt. The sadness of losing her filled him as he turned away and exited the solar.
Chapter Thirty Five
Aurora clutched her father’s shoulders. She should be grateful Damien had gone, but she could feel nothing. A numb emptiness encompassed her body.
“Rory, Rory,” her father repeated over and over. “You are safe. You are safe.”
Bereft, she sought comfort in his arms, warmth for her aching spirit. She searched for the consistency and reassurance she usually found in her father’s arms. But today, there was no consolation for her. Her father could not soothe her anguished heart.
His hands tightened around her. “Thank the Lord,” he whispered.
Aurora could feel nothing of the Lord’s affect. There was no compassion, no forgiveness, in her soul. Only sorrow. Damien was gone. That should not bother her as much as the fact he was a cold-blooded killer. He took her mother’s life! All this time his eyes were the ones she visualized in her mind, stalking, preying on her in nightmares. Damien had been the one she feared. His eyes were the ones that kept her awake at night. And after all this time of seeing those eyes in her nightmares, she had not recognized them when they appeared before her.
“What happened? How did you escape? Who did this to you?” her father asked.
&
nbsp; Aurora took a deep, ragged breath, mustering bravery to face her father. “Damien…” she began, but like the rising tide on the shores of grief, her tears flooded her voice. His name alone brought forth a deluge of agony. Aurora shook her head. He killed her mother. Damien was not the man she thought him to be. How could he? How could he have done something so evil?
Gabriel pulled back to look at her, confusion etching his forehead with deep furrows. “Damien took you?” he asked in incredulity.
Aurora shook her head vehemently. “No. He found me. He brought me back.” Her voice broke as she looked at the door where Damien stood moments before.
Her father cradled her face in his hands, gently turning her to look at him. “Then he is the most loyal man I have ever known.”
“No!” Aurora said fervently and stepped away from her father. “He is not loyal, nor honorable. He is a wicked, horrible man.”
Gabriel’s wide eyes slowly narrowed in anger. “Did he hurt you?”
Again, Aurora’s gaze traveled to the darkened door. He had hurt her. He deceived her. He betrayed her. He… left her.
“Aurora,” her father demanded. “Did Damien hurt you?”
Aurora looked at her father. His jaw was set in a grim line, his blue eyes darkening into a promise of retribution. “He killed mother,” she confessed, her voice thick with tears of regret.
For a moment, Gabriel stood stoically. Then, confusion swept over his brow. “How could that be? Are you sure?”
“He’s an assassin,” Aurora added. “He told me so. He told me he was not what I thought. All this time. He told me he was not noble and not honorable. Not a good man. But I believed he was.” Aurora’s chest spasmed with her repressed sobs. “How could he be otherwise?”
Gabriel wrapped her in his embrace again. “Oh my dear, dear child,” he said softly, kissing the top of her head. “You were not wrong about Damien. He is a good man.”
Aurora pulled away. “How can you say that? He killed mother!”
“You know he is good. You knew it from the very first day he saved you in the village. That is why you are having such a hard time accepting what he did.”
She shook her head, refusing to believe his words. “Good men do not kill innocent women.”
Gabriel shook his head and a solemn, distant expression glazed his eyes. “Margaret was far from innocent. She was selfish and mean. Vain beyond belief. The villagers disliked her because of her tyranny. I lost count of how many deaths she caused because of her cruelty.”
Aurora’s gaze swept his face in surprise. He rarely spoke of her mother and when he did, it was never in disrespect. She knew her mother had been cruel, knew her people had disliked her, but her father had never voiced his opinion of her.
“And yet, she gave birth to you,” Gabriel said, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. “You were the miracle of Margaret’s life. How someone so kind and compassionate could have come from the womb of a woman like her…”
Aurora shook her head vigorously. “That does not excuse what Damien did.”
Gabriel squeezed Aurora’s shoulder. “He could have saved many, many lives by killing your mother. How long do you think it would have been before she turned her hatred on you? You are more beautiful in spirit than she ever was.”
Aurora’s gaze drifted to the flames of the hearth. “That does not justify taking another’s life.”
“What of the peasants? They adore you. Much more than they ever did Margaret. She would not have tolerated that. How many innocent villagers do you think would have been hurt, imprisoned in the stocks or whipped, because they smiled at you and not her?”
Aurora pulled the blanket around her shoulders, a sudden chill engulfing her. Her father was right. Her mother would have punished the villagers if they showed favoritism to her. But that did not justify killing her mother. “How can you defend him?” she demanded. “He killed your wife. He is an assassin. And yet you are excusing what he did.”
Gabriel breathed in a deep breath and slowly released it. “God works in mysterious ways, child. We can’t always see his plans for us.”
“It is murder, Father.”
“Damien saved you. Time and again. He protected you. He has earned your loyalty many times over.”
“He took mother from me.” Aurora’s emotions whirled inside her like a twisting churning tornado. She didn’t know what to do or what to think. “How can you defend him knowing that he killed mother?”
“Because he brought you back to me… even after I dismissed him.”
Aurora looked up at her father. Damien took it upon himself to find her. He had searched for her with no promised reward. Because he cared for her. She shook her head.
Gabriel wrapped his arms around her. “Perhaps he is a different man now. Perhaps we all are.”
Aurora leaned her head against his fur-trimmed cloak. “He should not be forgiven. Not ever. What he did was horrible.”
“Yes, it was,” Gabriel whispered.
“Then why do I want to forgive him?”
Gabriel stroked her hair. “Because you love him.”
Aurora squeezed her eyes shut.
“I am very sorry to hear that,” a voice from the doorway called.
Aurora whirled to find a dark form lounging against the frame of the door. It moved toward them, caped in evil. When the light of the hearth washed over him, recognition made Aurora gasp.
Warin Roke’s face twisted in a sneer of contempt. His small black eyes focused on Gabriel, dismissing her as if she were insignificant. A tremor of dread shot through her as every instinct inside of Aurora screamed at her to run. He hired Damien to kill her. He was the one behind the attempts on her life. He wanted her dead.
“How dare you enter without permission?” Gabriel demanded, stepping before Aurora to block her from Roke’s view.
Roke’s lips twisted into a disdainful smile. “I find it dismaying to know you are defending Damien to your lovely daughter. Make no mistake. Damien has no regard for life. Any life.”
Aurora placed a hand on her father’s arm. “He sent Damien to kill me, Father,” she warned.
Gabriel rose to his full height, outraged. “You sent an assassin to harm my daughter?”
Roke crossed his arms carelessly. “In truth, it was not me.” He looked hard at Aurora. “Your refusals upset some very powerful men. They do not like being upset.” He shrugged. “You would not have me, either. It was an easy request to fulfill at the time. And the offer was generous.” He turned back to Gabriel. “You were speaking of Margaret’s death.”
Gabriel’s shoulders wilted. “Get out, Roke.” There was no insistency behind his words.
“I have not gotten what I came for,” Roke said, brushing past him. He held his wrinkled hands out to the fire for warmth.
Aurora cast a glance over her shoulder at the doorway. Two large forms stood just inside the door, two shadowy sentinels. Roke’s men.
“Where is Damien?” Roke said softly.
“He is gone,” Aurora proclaimed, lifting her chin in defiance, the need to protect him sudden and instinctual.
Gabriel placed a gentle hand on her shoulder and shook his head.
“Gone?” Roke echoed. He stood before the fire for a long moment. Then, he slowly turned toward her. “Why do you think it is that Damien defied my order and became your bodyguard?”
“He did not want others to steal his freedom,” she replied.
Roke’s eyes narrowed slightly, thoughtfully. “And yet, he still failed his mission,” Roke answered. “He has never failed.” Roke took two steps forward, his gaze consuming her. “What do you think it is about you that corrupts a man like Damien?”
Gabriel blocked his path, interposing himself between Aurora and Roke.
Roke’s stare shifted to Gabriel. “What do you think it is about her that makes a man want to protect her? From death. From me. Even from her own mother.”
Gabriel was stone. He didn’t move, not a muscle. �
��Don’t,” he whispered, half pleading, half begging.
Roke’s lips curled in an ugly grimace of mockery. “I only want to protect her.”
For a long moment, the two men stared at each other, a silent war of intent and unspoken threats.
Aurora watched the interplay in confusion. She placed a hand on her father’s arm.
“Didn’t you tell her?” Roke asked.
In desperation, Gabriel turned to face Aurora. His eyes held such sorrow, such guilt that Aurora clutched his hands in comfort.
“Aurora,” Gabriel said softly. “Remember when I told you that everything happens for a reason? That Damien might have killed your mother to save other lives?”
“Justifying murder?” Roke mused, delighted. “I will have to remember that.”
“I wanted Margaret away from you. But she was your mother. I could not take you from her. You would not let me and I could deny you nothing.”
Aurora tried to make sense of her father’s words. She didn’t like the strain she heard in his tone. She didn’t like the way his eyes suddenly looked old, suddenly looked remorseful.
“Lord help me,” Gabriel said softly, “I never wanted you to be hurt. I never expected…”
Aurora shook her head. “What are you saying?”
“Damien was hired by someone,” Gabriel said desperately. “He never would have killed Margaret if he wasn’t commanded to do so. By someone dark and horribly, horribly evil.”
Aurora swiveled her head to Roke. “By his master,” she whispered in contempt. “You did it. You had her killed. Just like you would have had me killed.”
Roke smiled at her. There was something sinister in his grin, something powerful and confident. It sent shivers across Aurora’s shoulders. “You don’t have to tell her,” Roke suggested to Gabriel.
“It was the night she had that little boy whipped for dashing out in front of her horse when she was in the village,” Gabriel began. “I heard her tell you that no peasant, man, woman, or child, should dare to cross before the path of a noble. It was horrible. That child barely survived. I knew he was crippled for life. And Roke was here. I didn’t know what else to do. I couldn’t leave you under her influence. I didn’t want you…” His shoulders drooped. “… to become like her.”
Legends of Medieval Romance: The Complete Angel's Assassin Trilogy Page 21
