by Anna Martin
Luc sped up the movement of his hand over his own cock and came too, spilling between them and catching Caleb’s lips in tiny kisses, over and over again.
One of Caleb’s arms wrapped around Luc’s shoulders, palm flat against his back and fingers sprawled. The other rested lightly on Luc’s hip, and it was this one that Luc found and twisted until his hand was enclosed in his boyfriend’s. Then he stretched out his index and pinkie finger and thumb, pressing them against the flat of Caleb’s hand.
It was the shorthand ASL sign for “I love you.”
He felt Caleb tremble lightly underneath him, soft lips brushing over his hair.
“I love you,” Caleb croaked.
It was the most perfect thing Luc had ever heard. Overwhelmed, he held on tight and let himself fall asleep in Caleb’s arms.
13. Tea
“How was New York?” his mom asked when Caleb was done shoving dirty laundry from his duffle straight into the washer.
He hesitated for a moment, deciding that telling his mother he’d had a lot of sex this past week wasn’t the best idea in the world. “It was great,” he signed instead, grinning. “I met some of Luc’s friends.”
“That must have been nice.”
Caleb nodded. His mom smiled and pulled him into an impulsive hug. Caleb towered over her, and she pressed her face to the side of his neck, then kissed his cheek.
“I’m happy you found someone,” she signed. “He wasn’t what I expected for you, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this happy before.”
“I think I love him.”
She smiled again and pressed her hand to his cheek.
“Can I go see him again next weekend?”
His mom sighed, as if she were resigned to this now. “If your schoolwork is done. Yes.”
That night Caleb was exhausted, but he’d abandoned his homework that weekend in favor of spending more time with Luc, so he had plenty to catch up on. After dinner he worked steadily through two Bio worksheets and mapped out an English essay, ready to write the next night.
When that was done he loaded up his Tumblr account and set about writing his next few posts. He was running low on photographs he thought were worthy of his blog, especially now that he was gaining quite a following. Caleb was fussy about what he put out for public consumption, wanting to showcase only the very best of his work.
Caleb knew he needed to refocus some of his attention back to this passion if he had any hope of following it through to a career. Luc was everything right now. But being a professional photographer had been his dream for years.
After school the next day, Caleb walked home instead of waiting for a ride from his mom. The evening was still fuzzily warm, and he stopped to take pictures as he went, making the thirty minute walk take nearly ninety. Most of the pictures were crap. He was uninspired.
The few pictures that turned out okay were ones he’d taken only a block from home, two little girls playing on bikes on the corner of the street. The light was behind them, making the figures shadowy and the children unidentifiable. They were perfectly passable photographs, the pink wisps of cloud in the sky stopping it from being too pedestrian. It wasn’t the sort of thing Caleb turned out regularly, though.
With a critical eye, he flicked back and forth between a few images on his computer screen, then selected one and cropped it. This one didn’t need much digital retouching, but he did it anyway, carefully working out the areas that were overexposed. It looked, he decided, like the sort of image that would be stuck in a fancy photo frame by the manufacturer. A perfectly generic picture that would inspire parents to buy it and stick a photo of their own kids inside the frame.
He put it on Instagram anyway, then sent a message to Luc.
Three more nights then I get to sleep next to you again.
Luc’s reply was predictable. Three more nights then I get to feel you fucking me again.
Caleb tried not to blush, even though there was no one around to see it, and failed. Sex was still this great adventure, a journey he wanted to take with Luc and no one else. The whole process had been crazy and emotional and beautiful, even when he had convinced himself he was doing something wrong. Luc didn’t seem to think so. He’d been sending Caleb messages with details of all the dirty things he was desperate for Caleb to do to him.
Apparently blow jobs were on the agenda for the coming weekend.
Caleb was looking forward to that.
He was contemplating taking a shower, jerking off, then going to sleep early when the light above his computer flashed. Glad he hadn’t already stuck his hand in his pants, he spun around on his desk chair and rushed to answer the door.
“Hi,” his dad said, signing as he spoke, as was his habit.
Caleb grinned. “Come in.”
“Your mom said you were going to go see Luc again next weekend.” Caleb nodded. His dad cocked his head to the side. “I was actually thinking about taking your mom away for a couple of days. She could use a break.”
“Okay.”
“Only a few days. Thursday lunchtime to Sunday evening.”
Caleb nodded.
“Okay. I thought you might want to invite Luc to come stay here.”
On the rare occasions that his parents went on vacation without him, Caleb was usually packed up and sent to stay with his mom’s parents for however long they were away. He didn’t mind so much. Caleb’s grandfather had lost his hearing when he was in his sixties, his hearing damage the result of working in the car manufacturing industry all his life. He used ASL as well—Caleb had helped teach him—and the two of them got on pretty well.
He knew his dad was cool about him having a boyfriend, but suggesting that he invite Luc to stay, without supervision, for a whole weekend? That was crazy. Caleb guessed it had something to do with not wanting to leave him alone… but what was he going to do? Burn the house down? That was unlikely.
“I’ll ask him,” Caleb said, dancing inside while trying to remain cool.
“Caleb?”
“Yes?”
“Are you and Luc having sex?”
For a moment he considered lying. He wasn’t feeling particularly enthusiastic about talking to his dad about sex, especially considering his dad was a straight guy. But he’d never really lied to either of his parents before and didn’t know how to do it convincingly. Feeling himself blush, Caleb looked away and nodded.
“Okay. Be safe, and if you have any questions, you can ask me. I know I’m not gay… but I’ve been in a relationship before. I probably know more about what you’re going through than you think.”
Caleb nodded, surprised, and his dad kissed Caleb’s head, then shut the door behind himself as he left the room.
Unsurprisingly, when Caleb asked Luc if he wanted to visit for the weekend, Luc said yes. He threatened to cut school and arrive on Friday evening, and Caleb had begged him not to, not wanting Luc to get in trouble for him.
But Caleb wasn’t exactly surprised on Friday night when his little rebel boyfriend sent him a message a few minutes after his pizza had been delivered, to say that he was outside. It wasn’t coincidence that Caleb had ordered enough for two.
He raced to the door and flung it open, laughing and shaking his head as Luc grinned at him impishly.
“Hi,” Luc signed.
“Hi. Come in.”
The door had barely clicked behind them when Luc pinned Caleb to the wall and thoroughly kissed him with tongues and teeth and fingers that slid under the hem of his T-shirt to explore his bare waist.
“I have pizza,” Caleb said as soon as Luc extracted himself from Caleb’s lips.
“I like pizza.”
“Me too.”
“You don’t seem surprised to see me,” Luc said as they settled on the couch, the pizza on the coffee table. It was a vegetarian pizza with extra mushrooms. Luc’s favorite.
“No.”
“Why not?”
Caleb shrugged. “It’s you,” he said simply.
Luc laughed and threw his crust back into the box, then reached for another. Caleb calmly waited for Luc’s attention, then asked him if he had a car for the weekend.
“Yeah. Ilse freaked out for a while, then let me have it when I begged and promised to give it back with a full tank of gas.”
“Good. Dad has our car,” Caleb said. “We’d have to take a bus places if you didn’t have the car.”
“Do we have plans?” Luc asked. “I mean, we could just stay here all weekend if you like. We don’t even have to leave your room….”
Caleb felt himself start to blush and ducked his head to hide it. He finished his pizza before responding.
“I don’t mind where we go.”
“Okay. We’ll figure it out later.”
Pleased that Luc had dropped it for now, Caleb nodded.
When they were done with the food Caleb stuck the pizza box in the recycling and poured two glasses of Diet Coke to take back into the family room.
“Thanks,” Luc said with a grin.
“Can I show you around?” Caleb offered.
Luc nodded and set the glass on a coaster before rising and slipping his hand into Caleb’s.
Since Luc hadn’t visited before, Caleb took the time to show him the house. He was pleased and proud and a little surprised at how quickly Luc was picking up both ASL and Caleb’s home sign. He still had to repeat some things and spell out others before showing him the sign again, but once Luc had learned a sign he rarely forgot it.
When they ascended the stairs Caleb hesitated, just for a moment, before opening the door to his bedroom and showing Luc inside. Luc had seen it, of course, but only from the other side of the webcam.
Luc was smiling as he walked into the room and turned a slow circle, coming back to face Caleb again.
“It’s so tidy in here!” he exclaimed.
Caleb laughed. “Yes. I like it that way.”
“Now I feel like a slob.”
“No, you’re not,” Caleb signed, stepping up and pressing a quick kiss to Luc’s nose. “We share the bathroom,” he added and pointed across the hall.
Confident that they would return here later, together, Caleb led Luc back downstairs so they could watch some TV for a while.
Luc had already taken his shoes off and curled up on the couch, his head resting on a pillow. Knowing it was a long drive from New York and Luc was likely tired, Caleb gently smoothed Luc’s hair back from his face. With his eyes still closed, Luc smiled and turned his head to press a kiss to Caleb’s wrist.
Caleb sat down at the other end of the couch, prepared to let Luc nap a little if that’s what he wanted. He wasn’t prepared for Luc to switch sides and put his head down on his lap, practically demanding to be petted like a cat.
The TV was tuned in to a show on the History Channel, and Caleb settled back to watch it, his hand calmly running through Luc’s hair, probably messing it up from its normal effortless style. It was nice, this easy domesticity, with no one around to interrupt them.
When the show finished, Luc sat up and stretched. Caleb wasn’t aware that Luc had been watching it too—he would have been happy to switch it over.
“I wanted to show you something,” Luc said, carefully rubbing at his eyes so as not to smudge his eyeliner.
Caleb nodded and shifted on the couch, finding a new, more comfortable position now that Luc had vacated his lap.
Luc wandered through to the hall and collected his backpack, then sat on the couch cross-legged with his shiny new iPad.
“Wow,” Caleb said with a smile.
“It was a late birthday present from Ilse,” Luc said.
Caleb grabbed his wrist, frowning. “When is your birthday?” he demanded.
“December,” Luc said, signing the word since he’d recently learned it. “You missed it.”
“Okay.” He sat back, appeased.
“There’s an app on here,” Luc continued. “It’s been helping me learn ASL. Look.”
He logged in to the iPad and loaded up the program. Since he needed Caleb to look over his shoulder, he rearranged himself once again, this time ending up on Caleb’s lap, shifting back until his boyfriend obliged and wrapped his arms around Luc’s waist.
Sitting like this, Luc couldn’t turn around for Caleb to lip read and had to demonstrate how the program worked, looking back over his shoulder to check Caleb was following him.
Luc’s enthusiasm for learning ASL was heartwarming. Caleb was happy to watch how Luc would tap in a word, and then the app showed him the corresponding sign. It looked like Luc was partway through a lesson, and he jumped back into that, watching the demonstration and copying the sign.
Occasionally Caleb reached over for Luc’s hand and changed the position, correcting him slightly to make the sign more clear. When Luc tried again and got it right, Caleb pressed a kiss to Luc’s neck, loving how Luc shivered with delight.
When Luc signed, “Tired,” “Bed,” and “Sleep” in quick succession, Caleb got the picture and shifted Luc off his lap. While Luc followed dutifully behind, Caleb locked and bolted the door that led to the backyard, the door to the garage, and finally the front door, turning off the lights as he went.
This bedroom, in this house, was different from the one where they had their own little routine. In some ways Caleb didn’t want to break with tradition. He knew what they did at Luc’s worked for them. Politeness won, though, and he let Luc use the bathroom first.
His bedroom was neat, Caleb thought as he sat on the edge of his bed, turning a book over and over in his hands. The walls were a soft gray color, his furniture mostly light oak, including his sleigh style bed. He liked knowing where everything was and got a weird pleasure from organizing his life. Things had a place in his room. That was how he liked it.
There was nothing wrong with Luc’s way of living: a little haphazard, a little wild, but that suited him. Luc wasn’t one to sit and plan and prepare; he lived life in the moment. It was one of the things Caleb loved about him.
When Luc returned from the bathroom, still fully dressed, Caleb decided to ignore the fact that this was wrong, that their routine was all messed up, and go with the idea that they were making a new routine for a new house. That worked better for him, and he let Luc gently brush his hand as they crossed in the doorway.
It only took a few minutes to scrub his face clean and brush his teeth, but Caleb hesitated in the bathroom, gripping the edge of the sink and wondering why he was on the verge of panicking.
Back in his bedroom, Luc was sitting up in bed, already under the covers and reading something on his iPad. He waited patiently while Caleb closed the door and changed into a pair of boxers, dumping all his clothes in the laundry hamper, then closing the lid on the mess inside.
When he crawled into bed Luc held back the edge of the blue and white striped duvet, then set his reading aside to make room for Caleb on his pillow. Apparently, even though Caleb’s bed was bigger, Luc still wanted them to sleep close.
“I really am tired,” Luc said, making the sign again, slightly hampered by the fact that he was lying on his side.
Caleb nodded and caught Luc’s hand, kissed the tips of his fingers, then pulled the arm over his waist. Luc leaned in closer and rubbed their noses together, then closed the gap even further and pressed their lips together in a sweet, careful kiss.
Caleb returned it for a moment, then leaned over and turned off the lamp on his nightstand. He felt rather than saw Luc roll over onto his side and scooped his boyfriend up to hold on to him as they found a new groove in their routine.
Luc hadn’t even realized he was in the grip of a nightmare until he woke wrapped up in Caleb’s arms. It wasn’t the worst way to wake up, and he took deep, soothing breaths, inhaling the scent of Caleb’s skin to calm himself.
It was late; he didn’t need to look at the clock to know that. The curtains were open, though, since neither of them had got up to close them before falling asleep. The moon hung heavy in the sky, u
nusually large, unusually bright.
That too was a strange sort of comfort.
Without breaking the careful grip he had on Luc’s shoulders, Caleb wrote three letters on Luc’s arm.
T-E-A. It seemed like an odd offer, but Luc nodded and allowed himself to be gently pulled from the bed and led downstairs.
In the kitchen there was an even better view of the moon and a thick fog that clung to the ground, turning the outside world into a white, swirling unknown. Neither boy thought to put a light on, and it wasn’t really needed.
Luc hopped up to sit on a counter while Caleb went about the familiar routine of boiling water and setting two teabags into heavy china mugs. It was only when the hot water was poured on top and the fragrance released that Luc realized it was chamomile tea, not regular black tea.
Caleb passed him a mug, and he sipped experimentally, not hating the taste.
When Caleb moved to stand in front of him Luc opened his knees, making space there, and Caleb found a comfortable position with the mug of tea warming his hands, his head leaning against Luc’s chest.
For a while they stayed like that, drinking tea, watching the few stars that were visible, waiting for something.
Caleb set his mug down. He liked chamomile tea. His mother often made it when she got in from a long shift. She said it was calming and helped her sleep, which was why he thought to offer it to Luc. It seemed to help.
He ran his hands up and down Luc’s bare legs a few times, wondering if he was cold, but there were no goose bumps puckering his skin, so he guessed not. He reached up and cupped Luc’s jaw in his hand, then leaned in to brush his lips over Luc’s.
They were soft kisses, easy and simple. There was a mutual understanding that this was for comfort, for reassurance, for anything the other needed to take from the simple act of lips meeting lips.
When they pulled away, the lines of worry had been erased from Luc’s face.
“What’s the sign for,” Luc signed, then finger spelled, “H-U-S-B-A-N-D?”
Caleb made the sign.
Luc nodded, satisfied.
“Family?” Caleb asked. “Children?”
