by Stahl, Shey
There were plenty of times when Sway and I could have acted on my hormonal flare-ups but she deserved more than that. Sway needed a man who’d be there for her, not one that wanted racing and racing only.
I knew I’d never give myself entirely to Chelsea or any other woman. Sure, we’d probably end up having sex...I am a teenage boy, it was bound to happen. But I knew beyond high school, I didn’t want anything from Chelsea. I’m not sure I wanted anything from any woman besides Sway—I needed her friendship.
Racing was all I wanted to do and that meant giving up a normal life and everything that went with a normal life. Friends. Girlfriends. Normal shit that teenagers did.
Class ended and Chelsea was attached to my hip while Tommy and Sway pushed each other out the door.
“If you didn’t fuck clammer last night, I’d think you were gay.” Sway told him.
“At least I didn’t spread my legs for Cooper.” His smile widened. “He’s probably slept with half the girls in this high school now.”
Sway punched his shoulder, hanging her head dejectedly. “Fuck off fire crotch!”
Without another glance, she trudged away, sadness evident on her features.
“What was that about?” I asked Tommy once we were outside. Chelsea was still clinging to my side.
“You didn’t know she fucked Cooper after prom when you were in Chico last weekend?”
“Jameson, come on.” She tugged on my arm. “Who cares who Sway fucks? Come on!”
“Come on what?” I threw my arms up, irritated. Not only was I irritated she was clinging to me but the fact that Sway never said anything about what happened with Cooper had severely me pissed off.
“I thought we could go to my house for lunch.” She smiled tugging again. “Please?”
I looked past her morosely to see Sway sitting on my tailgate, staring at her feet in the parking lot.
“I can’t.” I told her removing her arm from mine. “I have to drop my fuel pump at Frank’s shop and then I need to stop by Glen’s and pick up my springs before Saturday.”
“You can do that tonight or Saturday morning.”
“No I can’t. I race on Saturday in Cottage Grove. I’m leaving early Saturday morning before they open and I need to test the set up tonight.”
“I thought we were going to the movies Saturday.” She pouted in that annoying voice she had when she was trying to be adorable.
“No, I never said I was going. I told you when you asked that I had a race.” My voice was getting heated. She never listened when I talked about racing which is why she didn’t know I would be in Cottage Grove tomorrow. “It’s not my problem you didn’t listen.”
“Can’t you blow off the boys then and hang out with me tonight.” She reached for me again. “Why do you need to race in Cottage Grove anyway?”
“Chelsea,” I shook my head taking a step back. “I made plans with my friends tonight and then I’m leaving in the morning. I can’t hang out with you tonight.”
“So you’re choosing your friends over me?”
“I shouldn’t have to choose.” I told her walking away.
“Lover’s quarrel?” Sway teased with her head hung. I couldn’t see her eyes with her hat on.
I pushed her off the tailgate. “Get in.”
“Where are we going?”
“I need to drop off my fuel pump.”
“Cool, Frank has my new shifter for the red dragon.”
“I’m surprised that piece of shit still runs.” I teased starting my truck. Sway grinned when I revved the engine for her.
“Don’t knock the red dragon. She’s reliable.”
“Really?” I raised an eyebrow at her. “Is that why we had to walk home from the Ranch House Sunday night?”
“You watch—that truck will still be around when we’re fifty.”
“Yeah, as parts in a junk yard.” When I glanced down at her legs she had put up on my dashboard, I noticed her pants were red by her pockets. “What happened to your pants?” I chuckled.
“Fucking fire crotch,” She grumbled. “Asshole asked me to put some ketchup packets in my pocket earlier knowing damn well I’d forget about them.”
I laughed. Those two were constantly at each other’s throats. I was convinced Tommy was Spencer’s long lost brother.
The rest of our lunch break was spent arguing as usual and dropping off parts. Once back at school, Chelsea found me and tried to invite herself to Dayton Peak. I knew damn well Sway would kill me if she came along, so I once again told her no.
“Jameson,” Chelsea whined as we made our way out of our last class for the day. “Just come over tonight.”
“Stop asking. I’m going to Dayton Peak with the guys.” I threw my bag in my locker and headed for my truck.
“And Sway...” she added keeping step with me.
“Your point?” I shot back.
“You always choose her over me.”
“Sway is my best friend...you knew that going into this! Don’t ask me to choose because you won’t like the answer.” I warned giving her another glare before turning toward the parking lot.
Chelsea did this shit all the time. She always made it seem like I wanted Sway instead, when I did, just not in the ways I should. Above all else, I shouldn’t have to choose between Sway and anything. She’d never ask me to choose.
Charlie let me use the track on Friday nights to test out my cars before the next race so that’s where I was every Friday night. It didn’t matter what anyone else was doing; I was always racing. For a while, I was okay with that, but as my senior year progressed, I started to see the drawbacks.
While my friends had normal teenage lives where they partied, attended school functions and had girlfriends, I didn’t. Monday through Friday, you could find me at the track doing odd jobs for Charlie, my dad or racing. Saturdays were spent traveling to a race or preparing my car, and Sundays were spent heading home from whatever track I raced at and finishing up schoolwork so I could graduate. I didn’t have a normal teenage life and I had few friends who understood the sacrifices I made.
Sway understood. If anyone did, it was her. She never gave me shit if I fell asleep while we were watching a movie because I’d spent the last few days traveling to make it home for school. That didn’t mean she didn’t fuck with me if I fell asleep but still, she understood.
Once I finished testing out my springs for tomorrow’s race and got the setup dialed in, Spencer and I headed to Dayton Peak with Alley and Emma. Sway was already up there with Cooper and Tommy, drinking of course.
“Hey Jameson,” Tommy yelled as I stepped out of my truck, his words already slurring. I tossed my keys to Spencer knowing damn well I wouldn’t be driving home tonight. “Get over here!” he motioned. “Sway just told us you broke the track record in Chico.”
I grinned. “So what,”
“So what?” Tommy repeated incredulously. “Dude your dad has been trying to break Tate’s record for years and then you act like it’s no big deal.”
I stood beside him. Sway threw a beer my way; I winked at her as I opened it. “It’s not that big of a deal.” I told them taking a drink of the beer and then sitting down next to Sway on the log.
She leaned into my shoulder. “How’d the springs work?”
“Good.” I smiled. “I think I’ve got it figured out. I may need to make some air pressure adjustments but it’s better than last week in Chico.”
“When will you be back?”
“Sunday sometime,”
Sway nodded once and took a drink of her beer. I nudged her shoulder. “You’re coming with me, right?”
“I didn’t know you wanted me to.”
“You always come with me...aside from last week.” I smiled.
It was true. Even if I was racing in California, we kidnapped Sway on the weekends. The one exception was last weekend and that was only because it was our senior prom, I refused to let her come. She needed to enjoy high school.
&nbs
p; My eyes focused on her lips once again, wanting to feel them against mine. It’d been a while since the last time I kissed her and the magnetic energy screaming between us right now was enough to make me light headed.
I turned to drinking to divert my attention away from Sway. What caught my attention later in the evening was when Cooper started getting closer and closer to her. And by the end of the night they were leaving together, which pissed me off. I left after only three beers and I called Chelsea on my way home.
“I thought you were with the boys tonight?” she asked when she picked up.
“Do you want to come over or not?” I ignored her snide comment.
“Sure. I’ll be there in ten minutes.”
It wasn’t right and it surely wasn’t moral. I was using her for my own benefit. Chelsea was oblivious to the fact that I did not intend to date her beyond high school but that she was only fulfilling a need.
I watched Chelsea make her way inside my room, removing her clothes and laying down on my bed. I knew what she wanted.
I wanted it too. I did. Sex was pretty much all I thought about when I wasn’t thinking of racing.
Her face grew soft and persuasive. “Please Jameson,”
My attention came gradually to what she said, “What do you want?”
“You,” she whispered against my bare shoulder.
I didn’t have any intentions of having sex with her that night but when I thought of the energy that hummed between Sway and me earlier and the way her eyes had sparkled against the flickering of the fire, I reacted to what was in front of me, lying on my bed. Naked.
Come on. I am a guy; a seventeen-year old boy to be exact.
Lay a naked woman in front of me—I’m going to react in some way.
Yeah I did it for the wrong reasons and thought of someone else the entire time but I did anyway. Sway was out doing god knows what with Cooper, why couldn’t I?
I wanted to stop, stop her, stop myself but I didn’t. Stopping didn’t seem like an option once I moved between her legs and my hormones took over and reactions seemed mechanical.
I heard her moan as I continued to push forward. She told me she was a virgin but she didn’t feel like one with the way she moved against me.
Once again, I tried to stop myself but my need seemed to be stronger. I only realized this wasn’t what I wanted when I stole a glance at her lust stricken blue eyes, wanting to see emerald.
The springs of my bed squeaked and my bed shook with what I needed and then I came. Groaning and clutching her tightly, my one free hand that wasn’t holding her to me fisted roughly in her hair.
I regretted it before I even pulled out. Nausea rolled over me as I removed the condom and searched the floor for my jeans.
“All these months of asking—why now?” Chelsea asked pulling her jeans on.
I should have been embarrassed. I didn’t last long with the memories of Sway in my head not to mention the fact that I was nearly eighteen and had never had sex before. There’s no way I would have lasted long.
So many times, I’d imagined Sway in this very bed, showing her what I wanted to do to her. Repeatedly. That’s all it took to become a trembling mess.
With my room still dark, I pulled my jeans up and slipped my shirt back on as well.
“Don’t act like you didn’t want to.” I mumbled standing against the wall beginning to truly regret the decision and creating as much space as I could.
“Did you like it?” she pressed, her voice was shy. I felt bad for about a half a second.
“It was fine, Chelsea.” I let out a sigh. “Listen, I need to pack for tomorrow so I’ll see you on Monday.” I told her throwing my bag on the bed to pack my clothes for Cottage Grove.
“Yeah, I need to go anyway.” She leaned in for a kiss once she was at the door.
I leaned over and kissed her chastely.
When she left, I fell back against the wall. I knew having sex with Chelsea was a bad idea. I just knew it.
Why couldn’t I just have Sway?
She was perfect but like everything else in my life, I wasn’t what she needed so I stayed away. She didn’t need someone that couldn’t commit to her.
Thinking of what she and Cooper were doing right now made my stomach churn. Being the nosy fucker I was, I called Cooper to see where he was.
“Hey, where are you?”
He chuckled, his voice whispered. “At my house, where are you?”
“Home,”
He was drunk judging by his tone and talking to a drunk Cooper was about as easy as discussing politics with Spencer when he was drunk or sober. Damn near impossible to get a straight answer.
“Are you looking for Sway?” he finally asked when I hadn’t said anything.
Apparently, I’m not as sneaky as I thought.
“Is she with you?”
“Yeah, she’s sleeping right next to me.”
I punched the wall.
“You’re fixing that.” My dad yelled from down the hall. With a grueling 76-race schedule, he usually wasn’t home on Friday nights but the series had an off weekend.
Cooper laughed. “Is there something you need Riley?”
“Just tell her I’m leaving at five tomorrow morning.”
“Will do.”
I didn’t sleep well that night. Not only was I ashamed that I gave into Chelsea because I wanted Sway but I also hated to think that Cooper was with her right now. I needed to focus though. I had to keep my head clear for the race tonight. It was the Northwest Showdown Finals tonight and I knew I needed to be on my game. Cottage Grove was no Elma—the track was slick and fast. One mistake and the wall bit you hard.
“Did you tether the drag link?” Dad asked when I finished loading my car in the hauler that morning. It was early, way too early but this is what a local racers lifestyle was like on Saturday mornings.
“Yeah, yesterday,” I pulled hard on the new torsion bar I welded last night testing its resistance.
“What about your exhaust, did Charlie test it last night? The decibels need to be below ninety-five at Cottage Grove.”
“Yeah, it’s below that.” I told him closing the door to the hauler. He always made sure I had everything ready.
His eyes focused on the driveway and smiled. I turned to see what he was looking at after latching the door tightly and locking it.
Sway.
“Nice to see you among the living,” I muttered walking to the front of my truck before tossing some tie-downs in the bed.
Yeah, so I was a little harsh and slightly annoyed. Sue me. I threw my bag inside the truck with a grunt.
Sway smirked kicking my ass with her foot, her flip-flop falling as she did so.
“Shut up asshole.” She reached down to put her shoe back on. “I’m here aren’t I?”
“Yeah, twenty minutes late.”
“It’s better than my usual thirty. I’d say I’m making progress.”
Spencer walked up with Alley and handed us a bag of food mom made.
Sway sensed I was angry and cornered me between my truck and the hauler within the shadows of the maple tree.
“Sorry, I over slept. You’d think since you finally got some last night, you’d be in a better mood.” She countered glaring at me but peeking into the bag of food.
“What are you talking about?” I leaned in and whispered in her ear not wanting everyone else to hear.
“You didn’t think you could sleep with Chelsea Adams and her not tell me, did you?”
“I uh...what...did she say?”
Sway handed me her phone and replayed the message Chelsea left her after leaving my house last night.
“We finally had sex! It was amazing Sway and he told me he loved me afterward.”
“What the fuck is she talking about?” I barked causing Alley and Spencer to glance over at us.
I’d never told any woman I loved them aside from my mom.
“You tell me.” Sway smirked. “You in love Riley?�
� her eyebrows waggled.
“Fuck no...she’s out of her goddamn mind. I never said that,” I hip-checked her knocking her sideways and turned to Spencer. “Get in.”
“Don’t shoot the messenger!” Sway teased tickling my side as she climbed over me to get to the passenger seat.
“You know there’s a passenger side door.” I told her when her foot was in my face. “It’s easier.”
“No it’s not.” She turned back to look at me. “How else would I annoy you?”
“Good point.”
Once we got on the road, the fight for who controlled the music was on.
“I’m not listening to this shit.” She told me giving me the “hell no” look she had.
“Like hell you’re not. It’s my truck. Driver picks the music.”
The four and half-hour drive to Cottage Grove was spent testing out the new speakers in my truck and Sway and I arguing about which Pearl Jam album was the best. The same shit we did each weekend. Her arguments ended when I did my best impression of Eddie Vedder singing Black. I knew how to make her speechless.
Once we were at the track, it was my turn to be speechless at how shitty things got and how it happened.
After the first heat race, Spencer found me back at our pit.
“Did you hear me? What’s your temp at?” He panted heavily, his brow drenched in sweat. Tommy stood close beside him checking tire wear.
“I heard you. I was ignoring you.” I told him pulling my helmet off. “Why are you all wet?”
He shrugged and I had a feeling I didn’t want to know.
Shutting my eyes, I listened to the engine. There was a vibration I couldn’t decipher and my temps were off the charts after my heat race. We posted the fastest qualifying lap but the car seemed to go to shit after that.
“210-240,” I shouted over the rumbling before pulling the coupler out and let the engine run out of fuel.
Spencer’s eyes widened.
“Fuck, it’s gonna blow. We can’t run the feature with those temps.” Spencer grumbled pushing his wet hair from his face.
