by Lee French
He saw her in profile, staring out at the trees with her mouth pursed up and eyebrows halfway up her forehead. “Damn, Bobby, that’s…efficient. Something to be careful with. Do they know you can do that?”
His shoulders relaxed when she failed to freak out. “I don’t think so. Them rescued soldiers mighta said something, but I doubt it.”
“I wouldn’t advertise it if I were you.”
“No, that ain’t gonna be my first choice for chitchat, never.” He let out a breath he didn’t truly realize he’d been holding. “The dragons, they…they’re—I dunno how to explain this. They’re me. Like a part of me what’s wild and angry.”
Tiana nodded thoughtfully. “You’re not, though. You don’t strike me as angry all the time. Maybe it’s less you and more them than you think. You could try talking to them directly, explain your beliefs and that sort of thing. If they’re part of your caveman brain, that might help.”
“I dunno.” He shrugged. “I never been scared of myself before.”
“You’re not a monster, Bobby. None of us are monsters. Some of us struggle with our humanity, but that doesn’t make us beasts. The key is never to give up and stop struggling. So, it bothers you that you did something icky. Good. It should bother you. When the horrible things you do stop bothering you, that’s when you’ve fallen off the cliff.”
Put like that, he had to agree. “Making peace with it is my own damned problem, though.”
“More or less.” She paused and turned to look in the direction they both knew the house lay in, despite acres of trees between them and it. “Maybe you should talk to Matthew about it. He has less control over his killing, but he knows what it’s like to have those kinds of awful regrets.”
“Maybe.” He sat down on his bare butt and leaned against the tree, staring up. “I had a girlfriend not too long ago what knew all the constellations and a bunch of star names. Looking at them now makes me think of Lily, though.”
“Fair enough. Thanks.”
“Next time you want to talk, I’d prefer if you come looking for me instead of ripping up the woods.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Bobby let the dragons out again, directing the swarm back to his room. He grabbed a towel and got himself a shower, standing under the hot water longer than he normally would. More than dirt and sweat and salt sluiced away down the drain. Being clean improved his mood considerably, and he changed into shorts and a t-shirt, then went to Lily’s room and knocked softly on the door.
Half a minute went by, leaving him wondering if she’d fallen asleep. Then she opened the door, her eyes red and cheeks blotchy. What he really noticed more, though, was how her shoulder-length hair framed her face, and how the nightshirt she wore hit her at mid-thigh and hung off her just right to hint at her figure. Her regular clothes were revealed more for fitting better, yet this somehow stirred his blood more.
Her eyes flicked from him to the door. He put a hand on it to keep her from shutting it in his face. “Just gimme a minute” he whispered. “Please?”
She sighed and stepped into the hallway with him, shutting the door behind her. “I don’t want to deal with you right now, Bobby. I’m tired.”
He reached up to touch her face, stopping when she flinched. Letting his hand fall again, he said, “You could wallop me a good one. It might make you feel better.”
In a blur of motion, her hand flew. She slapped him so hard his head exploded into dragons. “No,” she spat, “it’s really not that satisfying.” While his head reassembled, she ducked back inside.
“I’m glad we sorted that out,” he told the door, trying not to be annoyed with her. The jerk stood on this side of the door; she’d reacted to him. Maybe Andrew had the right idea after all. Plodding back to his room, he dropped onto his bed and tried not to think about anything.
Chapter 13
“I really appreciate this, John.” Bobby took a fistful of flowers from the Chinese guy who force grew them with his power, right in front of his eyes. He couldn’t think of any way for John’s power over plants to be used offensively (or defensively, for that matter), and kind of envied the other man for it. Obviously, if his dragons couldn’t kill anyone, he wouldn’t be in exactly this position.
John shrugged. “I’m still working on the whole ‘figuring out women’ thing myself.”
With a heavy sigh, Bobby said, “I ain’t rightly sure that’s ever a thing you get to stop trying to figure out.”
“Don’t tell me that,” John grimaced.
“Sorry. Um, how ‘bout it’s a thing you just get used to? I dunno.” Bobby stifled a yawn and scratched the back of his neck. When the stupid birds started chirping this morning, he tried to roll over and go back to sleep. It didn’t work. “I’m pretty much throwing everything I got at the wall and hoping something sticks.”
“I’m sure they are.” Bobby realized he only kept talking to stall, so he raised the flowers and walked away. “Anyway, thanks.”
John waved him off and turned back to his herb garden. “Good luck.”
“Yeah.” At least some folks here had decided not to hate him. He chose to consider that a win. Cracking the back door open, he listened to figure out who he might run across. It opened into the kitchen, from which he heard limited noise. Andrew hummed and talked to himself while he cooked, so he guessed it must be Sam making breakfast.
Judging the area safe, he walked in and found Sam stirring something that smelled like apples and cinnamon in a huge stock pot. Out of all the women in their group, she happened to be the one he wouldn’t call ‘gorgeous’. Though she had a tall, thin supermodel’s body, he thought maybe her nose had been broken at some point and hadn’t healed quite right, her blonde hair always laid flat, and a scattering of white chickenpox scars decorated her cheeks. Even with all of that, she still blew away any normal girl, like all the rest of their kind did.
“Hey, Sam,” Bobby said as he paced in, peering around to make sure he wasn’t missing someone at the table. It was empty, though.
She glanced over, did a double-take, then smiled at him. “Oh, hi, Bobby. When did you get back? ”
“Last night. Can I get something to put these in?” He held out the flowers.
“Sure.” She went to a cabinet and pulled down a metal cup, the kind used with a drink mixer. “This is about the right height, and it isn’t really much use without the mixer.”
“You ain’t mad, then?”
Filling the cup with water, she shrugged. “Did you tell them where we are, or not take a chance to free the others?”
“No, I surely did not.”
She smiled more and took the flowers from him, stuck them in the cup. “Then no, I don’t really see a reason to be angry. I hope she likes them.”
Taking the cup, Bobby nodded and returned the smile. “Yeah, me too.” He stood and watched Sam return to her pot. “Smells good.”
“It’s just oatmeal.” She paused and stirred. “You’re stalling.”
“I’m hungry, though. Eating first won’t hurt nothing.” For once, his belly rumbling happened at an opportune moment.
Sam glanced at him, a bemused smirk turning up half her mouth. She said nothing, though, as she scooped him up a bowl and handed it over with a spoon. He sat down, set the flowers where he’d have to stare at them the whole time, and started shoveling.
“Bobby.” He knew that voice well enough, and froze in mid-bite, bracing for a hard slap on his back. It hit with almost enough force on his shoulder to knock him into dragons. “I can’t believe you didn’t even ask me to come along.”
Bobby swallowed and grinned up at Jayce as he got his own bowl. “Well, you know. I’m Head Cowboy, Hannah says so. Must be true.”
“Mm. Cowboys and Injuns do not mix.” The Native American man could out-hulk Stephen, and did so without the creepiness. He nudged Bobby with an elbow as he sat beside him. “You might have asked, though. Said something. Communicated your plan. Gotten feedback.”
“Waited fo
r committee assignments.”
“I seem to remember you being the one—”
Bobby waved a hand to cut Jayce off. “Yeah, yeah, Hannah already done said her piece and she’s probably still pissed enough to spit housecats.”
Jayce chuckled. “I will never get used to the colorful ways you have of putting things. Just when I think I’ve heard them all, out comes another one.” He pointed at Bobby with his spoon. “None of this cowboy stuff next time.”
“Yeah, yeah. I just done said I already got the lecture.”
“I can hurt you.”
“Not really.” He smirked and got one in return. “Maybe a little. I can hurt you back, though, so we’re even.”
Bobby thought he heard Sam mutter, “Boys.”
Jayce’s eyes flicked to her, proving he hadn’t imagined it.
“We gotta sneak into White Sands Missile Range next. I done turned over that whole thing to Hannah. She can figure who’s going and who’s not and what all.” He burned to be in on that, wanting answers to his questions firsthand. The dragons, though might not behave well there.
“If it’s all about sneaking, you’re probably the only one who can do it. Maybe Tony.” Jayce turned to his oatmeal and shrugged. “I wonder if the missing eleven all have sneaky infiltration powers, because a lot of us do pretty full frontal destruction.” Jayce gestured with the back of his hand at the cup of flowers. “Trying to make up with Lily?”
“Something like that.”
“I expect Sebastian will have her up shortly.”
“Yeah.” Bobby inhaled the last two bites of food and stared at the flowers, working up the nerve to try again.
Jayce waited two beats before he snorted. “Suck it up and do it, dumbass.”
Bobby stuck out his tongue and grabbed the flowers, then stalked out of the room. While he would have preferred to keep stalling, now that Jayce knew, he had his pride on the line. Standing outside her door, he listened for the sounds of the boy, and heard nothing. In a flash of brilliance, he popped a dragon off his thumb and sent it inside to check if he’d be waking them or not.
The dragon flitted down to the cheap carpet, flattening itself as much as it could. It wriggled under the door, wings flat. One wing got stuck, causing it to struggle and then tumble out to lie flat on its back. He looked out through its eyes, and found her in the middle of changing her clothes.
He had a view straight up her sleep shirt as she pulled it off. That left her in lacy blue panties and nothing else. It’d been a while since he got to see any girl in this state of undress, let alone the one he wanted more than anything. Tiny dragons eyes traced the contours of her body, noting silvery lines around her abdomen and on the sides of her breasts that he guessed must be old stretchmarks. Her left hip had a brown mole. A spray of freckles graced her lower back.
Suddenly, she seemed so much more real. The imperfections made him want her more. He wanted to touch the lines and count the spots and kiss her everywhere and make her smile and gasp. Thoughts of walking and pulling her down onto that bed danced in his head until the dragon panicked and scrambled. The movement fouled his view and something forcibly snapped him back into his own head. He had to put a hand on the wall to keep himself from falling over.
She yanked open the door, face contorted with rage, and sleep shirt clutched over her chest. From the way she pulled up short, she hadn’t expected to find him there. It did nothing to assuage her anger. Kicking the little crunched dragon out of her room, she shoved an accusing finger in his face. “If I ever catch you spying on me again,” she growled, “I will never speak to you again.” Her eyes flicked to the flowers and she shoved the cup so the water splashed him in the face and down his shirt.
His wits came back with the drenching. “Wait, that wasn’t…” But she’d already shut the door. Yes, he was an incredible dumbass. Why did he not realize that was stupid before he did it? He could have just knocked. He should have just knocked. And he thought she was mad before. Now she had an even better reason to hate him. Yes, this relationship ended before it got anywhere. Maybe he was too dumb to handle a real woman.
He wiped the water off his face and let a handful dragons off to eat the crunched one. Three flowers had landed on the floor and he picked them up. Instead of going for a towel, he shucked his shirt and mopped up the small puddle on the floor. Jaw clenched in frustration, he retreated to his own room, two doors up. At the time Hannah offered it him, she’d done it out of kindness so he could be close to Lily. Just now, he saw it as a wicked form of accidental revenge.
Inside, he threw his shirt at the wall and used his towel in jerky, rough motions. When he pulled a new shirt on, he popped a seam, so he flung that one away, too, and just went without. As a sort of demented punishment for himself, he put the dropped flowers back into the cup and set that on his windowsill. It would stay there until he managed to accept that no matter how well he got along with Sebastian, he had no chance with the boy’s momma. They lived in the same place and would have to deal with each other, and that’s all they’d ever have.
On his way out the door to go find something physical to do, he walked into Christopher, who’d been about to knock on his door. “What d’you want?” he snarled.
“Honey, you’re stinking up the whole place with how hurt and angry and just plain unhappy you are. I can help, if you let me.” Chris’s mild lisp and preference other men made Bobby uncomfortable. The man’s empathy made Bobby even more uncomfortable.
“Get offa me,” Bobby snapped, aware he’d caused them to get tangled up in the first place. He pushed past the other man and stormed away, stomping out into the trees. Once he felt secure he’d been swallowed up by the forest, he picked a tree and smashed his fist into it. The pain from his crunched dragon compounded with this as he punched it, over and over. When it hurt enough to make him balk, he hit it one more time. His steam spent, he sat at its base and leaned against it.
Things could get worse, he knew it. Somehow.
“There you are,” Hannah’s voice accused.
“Yeah, here my dumb ass is. If’n you want to sling it for something, go right on ahead. I won’t dodge or nothing.”
She stepped into view. Since he kept his glare directed at the ground, he saw her feet in flip-flops. “I think we’re going to send Lisa and Tony to the base. They should be able to handle sneaking around.”
“Yeah, sure, whatever.”
After a long pause, she stepped in front of him and crouched down. “Look Bobby, you broke your word and I don’t trust you anymore. It’s nothing more complicated than that. I didn’t really trust Stephen in the first place, so nothing much has changed with him. But you, I trusted you. To have a level head, to put the whole group first, to not hide things from the rest of us. You broke all of that, every part. How am I supposed to send you to do this job when I don’t even know if I can send you to fetch a book without turning it into a disaster?”
“Fine.” He wanted to protest. She ought to give him a second chance. His skills would handle the job best. Nothing would get screwed up this time. The words never got far enough for him to open his mouth. Flicking his hand, he dismissed the issue, telling her without words that he wouldn’t argue about it. No matter how wrong that seemed, he knew she had the best interests of the whole group in mind. Better that someone else handle it. He’d turned into a walking damned time bomb, or a killing machine, or something like that, and had no other use.
For a long minute, she watched him in silence. He picked at his jeans. Finally, she asked, “What kicked you in the balls?”
The question took him off-guard, and his mouth tossed out the answer before his brain caught up. “Lily.”
“Ah.”
He scowled. “I done it to myself.”
“I see.” She sounded amused, which annoyed him. “Why didn’t you even tell anyone what you were going off to do?”
“I dunno.” He shrugged and rubbed a fold of his jeans between his thumb and finger.
“Everyone was just settling into a routine, like this is it, this is all what matters. Like having a place for us what didn’t get scooped up is the whole thing. Even with Will here, coming back the way he did, it just didn’t feel like nobody was even thinking about it no more. I guess I wanted to do something, and didn’t want everyone to tell me it was too dumb or too risky or whatever.”
She sat on the ground, crossing her legs in front of her. “Maybe you missed the freedom of being out there on your own, doing something that mattered.”
“Maybe, I guess.” That sounded very reasonable to him, and likely. He shrugged again, feeling that he must seem incredibly juvenile. “I wanna go down to the base, Hannah. I done a lot, and I ain’t much good for sitting around no more. Ain’t nobody here makes a better spy than me, and you know it, ‘specially inside a building.”
Nodding, she looked off into the distance. “I was thinking about your theories, and I agree with them. Which would make us some kind of government property, in a sense.”
“Which means there’s someone out there what thinks we belong to them and oughta be collected up.”
“Probably.” She patted him on the arm. “Pick someone to be your driver and take Tony and Sam down to White Sands. Add Lisa in if you want. I’d prefer if you pick somebody other than Stephen. Get whatever you can, but it’s more important to go unnoticed than to get files or anything. Everything’s probably electronic, so you might be able to carry it all on a thumb drive or something.”
He finally met her eyes and gave her a muted smile. “Thanks.”
“Good luck.” She squeezed his shoulder and walked away.
Purpose rushed through his veins, a more potent drug than anything he’d ever tasted before. Hopping to his feet, he hurried inside, already certain about who he wanted to drive. He asked Sam to pack up a bunch of food, and would have done little more than grab a change of clothes if Kaitlin hadn’t joined Sam in the kitchen. She said with a bowl of pasta salad, picking out olives and artichoke hearts to eat them and leaving the rest of it alone.
