by Sara Mack
Huh. “Well, it won’t be the same working without you.” This is really bumming me out.
Dane winks at me. “You know where I live.”
The waitress appears with our food, and I glance at Shel and Matt. They appear to be enjoying their dinner. Shel catches my eye and enthusiastically waves at me. I give her a small smile.
We eat in silence. For some reason, the alfredo doesn’t taste as good as I remember. I swirl the noodles around my plate.
“What are you thinking about?” Dane asks me, curious.
I wasn’t thinking about anything really. “Um, school,” I throw out. “I got my housing acceptance. I registered today.”
Dane nods, chewing. “You know, I’ve never been out to Western. A lot of my friends went to different schools, but not that one. Maybe I could come out and visit. When are you headed back?”
My heart beats twice, and I reprimand it. “The middle of August sometime.”
“Do you need any help moving your stuff?”
No, I think. My dad and I have it covered between his truck and my car. “Sure, we could use a hand.” I want to smack myself. What is wrong with me?
“Cool. Just let me know,” he says conversationally.
Dane clears his plate. I have half a platter of fettuccine left. The waitress returns to ask if I want a box. I tell her yes. Maybe my dad will eat it.
“Will this be on one check or two?” she asks us.
“One.”
“Two.”
I look at Dane. “I can pay for my own food.”
Regardless, he looks at the waitress. “One.”
I shoot him an irritated look. He just smirks at me.
I turn my head to see if Shel and Matt have finished eating as well. When I look at their table, it’s empty. “Are you kidding me?”
Dane laughs. “Guess I’m taking you home.”
I sigh loudly and cross my arms. He pretends to pout. “You don’t want me to take you home?”
“No, I’m irritated at Shel, not you.”
He laughs again. “She’s a crafty one. I have to give her that.”
“You have no idea.”
The waitress brings the bill and I try to snatch it from his hand as he picks it up off the table. I only manage to rip the corner. Dane laughs at me. “Your injuries are making you slow.”
I shoot him a look. “At least let me cover the tip.”
He considers it and nods.
“How much is it?” I reach for the check.
He holds it out to show me, and I quickly grab it from his hand. “Ha!” I say victoriously and jump up from the table. I walk as quickly as I can without running to the register at the front of the restaurant. I’m pretty sure he won’t chase me through a crowd.
When I make it to the counter, I pay, asking the cashier to give our waitress her portion. I feel Dane walk up behind me. I can feel his – what? Anticipation? Humor? Irritation? radiating off of him. I can’t bring myself to turn around.
I walk to the front of the restaurant and Dane reaches around me to hold the door open. I finally look at him. “After you,” he smirks. It sounds more like a challenge than a pleasantry.
We walk outside and he takes the lead; I don’t know where he’s parked although I’d recognize his Camaro anywhere. I follow him around the back of Mario’s to where he’s parked in the street.
“May I open the door for you or would you like to do that yourself as well?” he asks, amused.
I try to suppress a smile by biting my lip. “If you would be so kind. I wouldn’t want to break a nail.”
He opens the door in dramatic fashion, and I crawl inside the car.
The entire way to my house we don’t speak, and we don’t make eye contact. There’s tension in the car, but it’s not angry. It’s more electric and fun, like who’s going to break the silence first with a sarcastic comment.
When we pull into my driveway I don’t know what to say. I’m trying to think of something smart and witty, but nothing will formulate in my brain. When Dane stops the car, he surprises me by getting out and coming around to my side to open my door for me again. When he does, I step out of the car and give him a curious look.
“Your nails,” he nods toward my hands. “I wouldn’t want them harmed entering or exiting the vehicle.”
Raising my eyebrows, I nod in agreement. “Ah. That’s very thoughtful of you.” I step aside and he shuts the door.
I open my mouth to thank him for the ride and then jump as he slams both of his hands down on either side of me, against the car, boxing me in. “What…?”
He leans in close, his eyes staring directly into mine making my heart race. “You. Are. So. Difficult.”
I’m speechless. All I know is my heart is flipping out and my legs feel weak. Stop it! my mind screams. Stop this!
He pushes himself off the car and away from me. My brain is relieved that he put distance between us, but my body wants him to close that distance and come back. Now.
“I have to go,” I mumble and start to walk away from him. He doesn’t stop me. “Thank you for falling into Shel’s trap,” I say as I back toward the door.
His face is dead serious. “It’s not her trap I’ve fallen into.”
Holy shit. I give him a small nervous wave, turn tail, and make a beeline for the back door.
Chapter 32
“Will you tell me what is bothering you already?” I ask James. This mood of his is starting to wear on me. Between his gloominess, and Shel’s begging me to go visit Dane at the golf course every two minutes, I’m about ready to pull my hair out.
“It’s nothing.”
“That’s what you always say! You’ve been like this for weeks. What gives?”
James simply leans forward and places a kiss on my forehead. “Don’t worry about it.”
I sigh in frustration. “You’d make me tell you if it were me,” I complain.
James sits up and looks down at me. We’ve been curled up together for most of the afternoon while I read and he plays with my hair. Ever since he was able to throw Patrick he’s been getting really good at physical manipulation. My hair actually moves when he touches it now. So far, it only works regularly on really light things, like hair or a piece of paper. But despite this breakthrough, something continues to bother him. He’s been silent lately. When he doesn’t think I’m looking he wears a far off expression, like his mind is constantly preoccupied. Whenever he catches me scrutinizing him, he quickly rearranges his face. When I ask what’s wrong, he always responds with “nothing.”
My cell rings again for the fiftieth time today. Okay, maybe not fiftieth, more like tenth. But, it’s been ten calls in the last two hours. It’s Shel. Again. I let the call go to voice mail. A minute later my phone buzzes with a message.
“Maybe you should talk to her,” James suggests.
“No, I know what she wants,” I shrug it off. “It’s not a big deal to me.”
She wants me to go up to Bay Woods with her. Its Dane’s last day of work. I’ve managed to avoid him for the last week, and I’m not going to walk into another one of her schemes again.
My phone buzzes with a text. I look at it. Answer your phone!!
Denied. I put the phone down.
It buzzes again. I sigh and pick it up. Don’t think I won’t come get your ass!
“Ugh!” I throw the phone down and it bounces on the bed.
Suddenly James jumps up. He looks wide-eyed and a little panicked.
“I didn’t mean to scare you,” I laugh. He doesn’t look at me. “What is it?” I ask, standing, worried now.
He realizes I’ve asked him a question. He focuses on me and swallows. “I have to go,” he whispers.
“Is it Garrett?”
“Yes. And no,” he looks at me longingly. He takes my face in his hands and plants a soft, full kiss on my lips. “I’ll see you later,” he says as he steps back.
My mind snaps with precognition. Why don’t I believe hi
m? “Come back to me,” I demand.
He nods. “I will. I promise.” My phone starts to ring yet again. “Answer Shel,” he says. “Do whatever it is she wants you to do. It’ll pass the time until I can get back.”
I eye him warily.
“I love you,” he says as he fades from my vision.
“I love you too.”
Shel impatiently taps her fingers on the steering wheel as we sit at a stoplight. I caved in, answered her call, listened to James, and agreed to visit Bay Woods. Plus I need to check the schedule since I start back on Monday. As we sit at the light, I try to think of all the possible scenarios she may be concocting to get me alone with Dane again. I think I should be safe, but you never know. Besides, if she does decide to leave me, this time I’ll just drive a golf cart home.
“Come on!” Shel groans at the light.
“Why are you in such a hurry?” I ask.
“It’s Dane’s last day.”
“And?”
She gives me a sarcastic stare.
I shoot her an exasperated look to match her stare. “I told you to stop with this matchmaker crap.”
“Who’s playing matchmaker?” She hits the gas.
“You.”
She ignores me. “He asked you to stop by and see him before his last day. You never went. That’s not being a very good friend,” she sniffs.
“I should never have told you that.”
We make it to the course in record time thanks to Shelby Andretti. She leaps from the car and waits impatiently as I take my time getting out. When we enter the pro shop, the first person I see is Kris. She gives me an enormous smile and wraps me in a warm hug.
“I’m so glad to see you! How are you feeling? Ready to come back?”
“Completely cured and ready,” I say with a small smile.
“Well, well, well,” I hear Dane as he enters the pro shop behind us from the concession area. I turn to see him check his watch. “Your timing is impeccable,” he notes. “I’ll only be employed here for another ten minutes.”
Shel shoots me a nasty look.
“I wasn’t sure of this one’s motives,” I jerk my thumb toward Shel.
She turns and starts a conversation with Kris, so she won’t have to respond to my accusation. I look at Dane and he’s wearing that damn grin of his. “I need to check the schedule,” I tell him.
I leave the three of them and head to the office to look up my hours. Ten to four on Monday with someone named Leslie. Sounds doable. I take a glance at the rest of the week to buy time. I’m not going to lie. Seeing Dane after a week is making my pulse race. Why does he have this effect on me all of a sudden? I worked a month with him and never had this problem! This is not okay. We have to go. What excuse can I use?
“Find everything?” Dane’s voice is right behind me, and I jump about a foot into the air.
“Geez!”
“Sorry,” he laughs. He walks over to put his shift paperwork on Kris’s desk.
“Who’s Leslie?” I ask for a lack of anything better to say.
“Oh, she’s new. You’ll like her. Older lady.” Dane walks back around me. He grabs his time card. “Well,” he pauses as he stamps it in the machine, “I guess this is the end.”
“The end?”
He puts his card back and turns to me. “The end of my excuse to spend time with you.”
I swallow.
“Unless you can think of another one,” he smiles.
“It’s…” I stutter. “It’s not like you won’t be coming around here.”
Dane looks at me incredulously, shaking his head in disbelief. “See you around then,” he says as he turns to leave.
I’m having a hard time breathing as I watch him go. All I can manage to do is give him half of a wave.
He walks out of the office and out of my line of vision. I look down and let my breath out in a huff. It’s not like I won’t ever see him again, right? We’re supposed to be friends. I shake my head to clear it of my crazy thoughts. This is ridiculous. I don’t need to be around him.
I decide to hang out a few extra minutes in the office, so that I can avoid running into him again on my way out. When I estimate enough time has been wasted, I walk back to the pro shop to find a seething Shel.
“What?” I ask.
She says nothing and walks out of the shop with her arms crossed. I give Kris a wave and tell her I’ll see her on Monday. I follow Shel to the car and get inside. She immediately turns on me.
“He says you’re not interested.”
I give her an exasperated look.
“I gave him your number.”
“You did what?”
She smiles sweetly at me. “You’re welcome.”
Back at home I try to pass the time by picking up where I left off reading. Will I ever finish this damn book? I’m having a hard time concentrating on the words. Where is James? I hope everything is all right. I silently pray that this won’t turn into one of his prolonged absences. That will surely drive me insane.
My phone buzzes with a text. What does Shel want now? I already fulfilled her demands for the day. I roll over and pick up my phone. The text is from a number I don’t recognize and contains only one word.
Grace?
I hang my head. And so it begins. I respond Yes?
A minute passes. Just making sure this is really you and not the pizza joint.
I smile. Really me.
My phone goes silent. I set it down and pick up the book. I actually get a chapter in before my phones buzzes again. I look at the message.
Come over.
My mouth falls open. Come over? Is he serious? My heart involuntarily starts to beat double time. No. No, no, no, no, no.
I send back Sorry. Can’t. and set the phone down.
Buzz. Why?
Maybe I should just turn my phone off. I hit ‘Reply’ and stare at the empty screen trying to find a reason. The reason I want to send is ‘James’. I wonder how that would go over.
I feel the hair rise on the back of my neck, like someone is watching me. I look to my right, over my shoulder, and see James has returned.
“Hey,” I toss my phone aside. I swing my legs off the bed so I sit facing him. “So what’s up? Everything okay?”
James wears a haunted expression. He looks lost and anxious.
My pulse picks up as I take in his demeanor. “What’s wrong?” I ask nervously as I stand and walk toward him.
His eyes focus on me and soften a little. “I’ve been assigned a Ward,” he says quietly.
I breathe a sigh of relief. “That’s…that’s sooner than we thought.” I try to bring my pounding heart under control. “But this is a good thing, right? It means you’ve done well.”
He looks at me like he wants to say more, but he can’t find the words.
“This means we’ll see less of each other, doesn’t it?” I ask sadly, remembering our conversation from weeks ago. I wrap my arms around his waist and place my head against his chest like I always do. How will we manage to see less of each other?
James makes no move to hold me. I glance down to see that he hasn’t moved and then look up into his face anxiously. “Does this mean you can’t touch me anymore?” I ask, panicked.
“Emma,” James places his hands against my shoulders and steps out of my arms. “You are my Ward.”
His statement takes a moment to register. “How…how is that possible?”
“Your Guardian has been released,” he says gently.
“You said that rarely ever happens,” I blink, confused. My heart begins to pound as my mind races back in time. I remember how adamant James was over the idea of being my Guardian, how it was against their rules, how he wouldn’t be able to love me anymore. “What does this mean?” I whisper.
James looks down and slowly takes my hands. He stares at them while he speaks. “It means I will always be bound to you. That I will be the one to guide and protect you throughout your life.”
“Until I release you?” I ask hopefully, choosing not to remember that he told me it would be impossible if he were my Guardian.
He continues to look at our hands and shakes his head no. When he looks up, his expression is full of pain. “I am no longer allowed to love you.”
I feel like my breath has been knocked from my chest. “How did this happen?”
“Garrett assigned me. He felt I was ready.”
“Why would he assign you to me?” I ask him, distraught. “Is this a punishment?”
James closes his eyes. “When your Guardian was released, Garrett saw it as a way to help me.” He stares at me again. “Ever since you were attacked I knew I couldn’t bear to lose you, whether some outside force or a new love took you from me. I couldn’t shake that possibility from my mind, and I let my mood overshadow everything else. Garrett saw this and he understood it. He explained that binding you to me as my Ward will keep me in your life for as long as you live. And at least I’ll have that. Because the likelihood of you choosing me in the end, the likelihood of you releasing me, is...small.”
“No,” I shake my head, trying to erase what is happening. “Who is he to say what I would decide? He doesn’t know how I feel!”
James looks at me defeated.
“Where’s my choice?” I demand of him, pointing to my chest. “I don’t choose this!”
“It’s not up to you.”
I clench my fists as my eyes fill with angry tears. The pain in my face is registered in his. “I love you! I need you in my life!”
“And I will be,” James tries to reassure me. “I’ll still be able to see you, to talk to you.”
“But you won’t be allowed to love me,” I say flatly.
James shakes his head as he sadly responds. “No.”
Tears spill over, and I hold my head in my trembling hands. James moves to wrap his arms around me. I feel his cool touch move up and down my back, comforting me. What did he say before? That protecting and guiding me without loving me would be torture. Garrett has committed him – us – to an existence of pain.
“Please don’t cry,” James pleads. He sounds like he is near tears himself.
