by Sara Mack
“Hey, you’re the one who asked.”
He continues to mold my muscles under his palms, and I glance around his room once more. I look out the open door and into another bedroom that sits across the hall. It’s set up like an office, and I can see a desk, a Mac, a file cabinet, and stacks of random papers. But I also see art. Tons of art.
“Can I look across the hall?” I ask.
His hands stop moving. “If you want.”
I scoot off the bed and smile. “I want.”
When we enter his office, I’m blown away. I know he works for Legionnaire, which is an advertising company, but I had no idea he created anything off the computer. Sure, some of the ads he’s created are framed and hung, but what catches my eye are the pieces that are done in pencil or charcoal. Most are on plain paper, only a handful look to be on canvas. His artwork consists mostly of landscapes or a single subject, like a leaf or a gnarled tree. I roam around the room, awed by his talent, until I come full circle. My eyes land on a picture that leans across the arms of an upholstered chair; the canvas is by far the biggest in the room. I move toward it, mesmerized, until I realize what it is.
Dane’s hands land on my shoulders from behind. “It’s not finished,” he says quietly. “You’re always a work in progress.”
My eyes grow wide as I take in the drawing; it’s the only one in the room that’s done in color. I walk toward it cautiously, like it might bite me. It’s overwhelming to see myself because it’s clearly me, yet it’s not. This girl is gorgeous.
“When did you –?”
“I started it after we got back from Western.” He steps to my side. “It’s my favorite memory of you.”
I’m lying on my side, asleep. One arm rests beneath my head and the other is bent in front of me, my hand nearly reaching my face. I can tell I’m in bed by the way he’s drawn the blanket to hug my every curve; he’s given me a waist and hips and long, long legs. My hair flows around me in waves, down my back and across the pillow; he’s colored it far more auburn and striking than in real life. Long, full lashes grace my cheeks, and he’s made my lips perfect and pouty and pink. All of my exposed skin is sun-kissed, and I know this has to be from our time on the island.
“This is what I woke up to in St. Thomas,” he says, his voice low. “I’d wake early each morning just to watch you sleep.”
I turn to him, completely baffled and honored at the same time. “You’re incredibly talented.” I place my hands against his chest. “That’s not who I see when I look in the mirror.”
His hands wind around my waist, find the back pockets of my jeans, and slide inside. “It’s who I see every time I close my eyes.”
Oh my heart. It wants to leap out of my chest.
He pulls me to him, presses me against him, and finds my mouth. His kiss is demanding yet soft, and my arms slide up his chest, around his neck, and hold him to me. After a moment, his lips move delicately over my injured chin, travel along my jaw, and bury themselves under my ear. My body starts to warm against him as his hands move to my lower back, slide beneath my shirt, and then out again.
“Stupid rules,” he murmurs into my ear.
“Oh!” I step back, startling him. “I forgot!”
“Forgot what?”
“Our wager.” My eyes get big. “Our bet.”
He gives me a sideways glance then wraps his arms around my waist again. “You’re right. We do have that matter to attend to.”
“You first.” I poke his chest. “What did you think I was going to tell you tonight?”
He smiles. “That you wanted me Larvatus. I thought you were setting it up for Ash to Gift me when I came over.”
I bite my lip to stop my stupid grin.
“That’s not it, is it?”
I shake my head. “What would you have asked for if you had won?”
He pulls me closer. “I was going to ask if you would consider moving in with me.”
I’m surprised. “Really? That’s kind of a big step, don’t you think?”
He meets my eyes. “I figured if we were both Charmed you might want to. Ash gave me the idea.”
Ash did say that. The thought of living with Dane both excites and scares me. I know without a doubt that I want to start something with him, but moving in together is a big commitment.
“So?” he breaks my train of thought. “Don’t keep me in suspense. What did you want to tell me?”
Suddenly, I’m nervous. This is huge. This is the official beginning of us.
I take a deep breath. “Yesterday morning…” I pause, my heart beating fast. Geez! It feels like I’m asking this guy to marry me or something. “Yesterday morning I let James go.” My words come out in a rush.
His body tenses, and he blinks at me.
“Did you hear what I said?” I ask quietly.
He slowly nods. “Say it again.”
“Yesterday morning I let James go.”
He moves one hand from my waist to the nape of my neck. “You chose me?” he asks in disbelief.
I smile. “If you’ll have me.”
His gaze shifts to my mouth and he dips his head, catching my lips in a soul-crushing kiss.
“Is that a yes?” I ask when he rests his forehead against mine.
“That’s a hell yes,” he breathes against me. “You so win.”
“I knew I would.”
“What do I owe you?” he asks. “Anything you want.”
I lift my forehead away from his. “Well, I had thought about having fun with this and making you my beck-and-call-boy for awhile.”
He runs his fingers up my spine and down again sending shivers to my toes. “I’m already there.”
“But I’ll ask for your patience instead.” I try to remain focused. “This relationship stuff is new for me; I don’t want to screw it up. I know we have a past, but I don’t remember it. I need to get to know you again. Do you think you could start over with me?”
He pulls me close. “I’ve already told you I can’t resist you. I’ll start wherever you are.”
My stomach growls loudly, interrupting our serious discussion.
“And it looks like we’re starting with dinner.” Dane smirks. “What do you have in there? Some sort of monster?”
My nose scrunches. “I haven’t eaten since yesterday. That’s a record, I think.”
He laughs, takes my hand, and leads me downstairs where we consult a plethora of take-out menus. It takes us awhile to sort through them because everything sounds so good I want it all, not to mention Dane keeps stopping to kiss me. Finally, we ditch the take-out plan and head to the nearest restaurant, Kentucky Fried Chicken. We order an eight-piece meal and polish it off when we get back to his place.
“I’m not the only one who was hungry,” I note as I wipe my greasy fingers. “You ate just as much as I did.”
He grins while finishing a honey covered biscuit.
“Sweet tooth?” I ask.
“Guilty,” he says, his mouth so full it comes out more like “gilfy.”
I laugh. “I’m learning things about you just by having dinner.” Pulling my legs from beneath me, I leave the living room to throw away our trash. When I come back, an idea strikes me.
“Let’s play Truth or Dare,” I suggest.
He looks at me suspiciously. “Why?”
“So I can learn more about you.” I sit next to him on the couch and lean back against the armrest, throwing my legs over his lap. “You game?”
“You have to promise to do the dares,” he challenges me.
“Of course.” I roll my eyes. “I’m not going to welch on my own suggestion.”
“Remember that.” He winks at me.
“You first,” I say. “Truth or dare?”
“Truth.”
“What’s your favorite color?”
He rests one arm along the back of the couch. “It used to be blue, but now it’s green.”
“Why’d you switch?”
“Look
in the mirror.”
My cheeks flush. My eyes are green.
“Your turn,” he says. “Truth or dare?”
“Truth.”
“What did you think the first time we kissed?”
My forehead pinches. “I don’t remember the first time we kissed.”
“I mean when we got back from the island. Our experiment.”
I tilt my head. “I thought it wasn’t very hard to kiss you and it was really nice.”
He gives me a stale look. “Nice? That’s it?”
I place my hand on top of his. “Not long after, I was trying to figure out how to make it happen again. Does that count?”
Apparently it does because his eyes light up.
“Now you,” I tell him. “Pick one.”
“Dare. Read my mind.”
His thoughts ring clear. “Dare me to kiss you.”
My eyes get wide. “I have to dare you to do that?”
“Never.” He braces his arms, hovers above me, and zeroes in. His kiss is all consuming, illegal even, like he’s claiming me as his own. After a minute or two, when he moves back to where he was sitting, my lips feel swollen.
“What did you think that time?” he asks, cocky.
I narrow my eyes, refusing to admit that he’s an amazing kisser. I don’t want to start a discussion as to how he refined his skills. I smirk. “You taste like honey.”
He rolls his eyes. “Your turn.”
“Truth.”
He hesitates over his question. “How did James take the news?” he finally asks.
I frown. We just went from carefree to serious in seconds. “That’s heavy.”
“I need to know if I should watch my back.”
I shift my weight. “It went okay. We’re still friends; we’ll always be in each other’s life. He’s Allegiant, I’m Larvatus. We’re a team.”
Dane’s brow furrows and his hand tenses around my knee. I can tell something’s wrong; he doesn’t like my answer.
“Truth or dare?” I ask quietly.
“Truth.”
“What’s bothering you?”
He lets out a resigned sigh. “I don’t like that you’re still involved.” He looks at me. “Will I ever have you to myself?”
“It’s not like that.” I sit up straight. “James is with Meg. I overheard them talking; I found out he was repressing his feelings for her out of some misconstrued obligation to me.”
Dane frowns. “He said that?”
“Well, yeah.”
“I thought he was fighting for you.”
“He was. He told Meg he would give himself to me if I wanted him, no questions asked. I had to think long and hard about that.” I pause. “In the end, I had to be the one to make the decision for both of us. I made the choice that would make us both happy.”
Dane leans toward me, concerned. “How much more do you think you can bear?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“In practically one day you’ve broken up with your long-time boyfriend, watched a friend die, and killed your mortal enemies.”
I look down. Yeah, yesterday and this afternoon sucked. I’m not going to forget what happened anytime soon. But….
“You’re forgetting the best part.” I look up and run my knuckles down his cheek. “I have you.”
His eyes flash and his shoulders relax. “Truth or dare.”
I’m feeling bold. “Dare.”
“Stay here tonight.”
I lean forward and hold my face inches from his. “You couldn’t pay me to leave.”
He quickly reaches for his phone, pulling it from his pocket. He glances at the screen then holds it out to show me the time. “Is 8:01 too early for bed?”
“Not on a school night.” I’m being sarcastic, but it is Tuesday.
He swings my legs off his and stands, then pulls me to my feet. He busies himself turning off lights and making sure the front door is locked. As he moves around the room with newfound energy, I realize I should have been more specific. I’m afraid he’s expecting more than I can give.
When he reaches for my hand and tows me toward the stairs, I say, “Slow down! We need to talk about – ”
He abruptly stops walking, and I bounce off him. “Sorry,” he apologizes. “I’m not expecting anything from you tonight, if that’s what you were going to say. Waking up next to you is enough for me.”
I exhale. “Okay. Good.” This is new, and I don’t think I’m ready for absolutely everything yet. “Can we still play Truth though? So far all I’ve discovered is your favorite color.”
“Sure.”
When we make it his room, he moves to the dresser and finds me a shirt to wear before changing himself. “Here.” He tosses me a white undershirt for bed.
I hold it up. “This thing is practically see through,” I chastise him.
“So?” he asks over his shoulder.
“Are you trying to make things difficult for yourself?” I raise my eyebrows and think of his earlier words. “Can you take it?”
A slow smile spreads across his face. “I can. I’m sorry you couldn’t earlier.”
I purse my lips. “Fine. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” I turn my back, although I still don’t completely get what he sees in me. I quickly remove my shirt while simultaneously pulling on his, revealing nothing in the way that girls do; we’re masters at getting dressed in front of people. His shirt falls almost to my knees, so I slide out of my jeans, also revealing nothing. I move my arms beneath the shirt to take off my bra, sliding it off and tossing it on the floor, again, completely covered.
“Do they take you aside and teach every female how to do that?” Dane asks from behind me.
I turn around. “It’s an age old secret, the result of being forced to undress in crowded locker rooms for gym,” I explain.
“Ah.” He pulls back the sheets.
“You know,” I can’t help but comment, “if you keep giving your shirts to random girls you won’t have any left.”
“Funny. Would you rather Teagan stayed naked?”
“I’m sure that was her plan.” I don’t like that she was wearing his clothes now that I’m doing the exact same thing.
“I’ll burn that shirt if she ever gives it back to me,” he mutters.
I crawl on to the bed and sit. “Which side is yours?”
“The middle,” he responds. “Take your pick.”
I decide to head to my right, crawling under the sheets, and busying myself with fluffing the pillow. Dane is changing and he’s not being very secretive about it; although, he just pulls on sleep pants over his boxer briefs. He hits the light and joins me, sliding beneath the blankets. We reach for each other, and I wind my body against his. Immediately, I know there is no place I’d rather be.
We’re silent for a few moments until he kisses my forehead. “Ask me truth,” he says softly.
I lift my head off his shoulder to look at him. “Truth?”
“I love you.”
My breath catches, and he feels it. This is only the second time he’s told me this that I can remember, the first being when he explained why he wasn’t with Teagan anymore.
“You don’t have to say it back,” he says as he runs his fingers through my hair. “I just wanted you to know.”
I swallow. “I feel like I should say it.”
His hand stops. “Do you want to?”
I don’t know if I’m ready to say this. He told me I said it before, right as Kellan blasted my memories away. I know I’m leaning in that direction, but this feels like a giant step. We’re supposed to be starting over, not leaping off a cliff all crazy-like.
My mouth opens to rationalize my decision to wait, but my eyes catch his and I know I’m a goner. The way he looks at me, even in the dark, is insane. Has anyone ever looked at me this way before? I doubt it. I still don’t understand why he feels the way he does about me, but I’m not about to question it now. For the first time since this Guardi
an mess started I realize how truly lucky I am. Garrett made me promise to live a full life. It’s time to start living it.
I pull myself higher and bring my eyes level with Dane’s. “I love you,” I whisper, and lean in to show him how much.
Chapter 22
Dane’s body shifts beside mine as he silences his ringing phone. I roll on to my stomach to stay buried in the bed; it seems way too early for the outside world. I drift back to sleep and wake some time later to the delicious smell of breakfast. My stomach is ecstatic at the promise of bacon.
Stretching my arms over my head and my feet in the opposite direction, I take inventory on how I feel. My tailbone remains unhappy yet improved; my head and shoulders no longer ache. I move to my side and run my hand over the spot where Dane slept, a slow smile spreading across my face. This is really happening for us.
Over the course of the night I learned several things, some from our Truth game. Dane’s middle name is Ryan, he played baseball in middle school, graduated college a semester early, and his favorite cartoon as a kid was X-Men. His all-time favorite food is a rib eye steak, preferably grilled, and he had one steady girlfriend prior to Teagan. It was a sweet, eighth grade romance.
The other knowledge I gained wasn’t spoken. It was felt. Last night was the most peaceful night I’ve spent in a long, long time. There’s no question that I feel content in his arms; I feel safe. Now that I’ve let my guard down, I can’t believe how blind I was to my attraction to him. I’m sure all the making out probably reinforced those emotions, but damn! I’ve never felt this way; at least not that I can recall. My eyes land on my wrist, on my bracelet, and I wish there was another way to reclaim my lost memories. I want to remember every single moment with him.
Dane’s phone vibrates against the bedside table, and I snap to. It’s time to get up and get moving. I scoot out of the bed, careful of my sore behind, and decide to get dressed in what I wore yesterday. As much as I like being here, a change of clothes and my toothbrush would be nice. Should I ask him if I could leave some of my things here or would that be too forward? He said he wanted me to consider moving in, but that was before he knew of my decision. I’m curious if the motivation behind that thought was to get me away from James at any cost. Now that he has me, would he really want me around all the time?
