In a manuscript that bears a distinct resemblance in style to that of the new version of 'The Ring Goes South' described in the last chapter, my father now rewrote the first part of the story of the journey through the Mines. As in the last chapter, there are a few pages of rough initial drafting for particular passages, but (unless more have been lost) the development of the new version was very largely achieved in the actual writing of this manuscript, which is a mass of (mostly small) corrections made at the time of composition. Of subsequent pencilled emendation there is not a great deal, for the text of FR II.4 was effectively reached here: for most of its length the only differences from the final form are extremely minor points of sentence structure and choice of words, with no significance for the narrative, and for substantial stretches the two texts are identical. There are however certain features where this is not the case.
The chapter, numbered XVI, was given a title, 'The Mines of Moria (i)'. Pencilled titles were written in beside this: 'The Lord of Moria' and 'The Tomb'; the latter was struck through, and the typescript that followed this manuscript was titled: 'The Mines of Moria (1): The Lord of Moria'. The original version had included the debate of the Company after the descent from the Pass of Cris-caron and the discussion of Moria in 'The Ring Goes South' (VI.428 - 30), and 'The Mines of Moria' had begun at 'Next day the weather changed again' (VI.445; FR p. 313). Now, of course, the new chapter XVI follows on from the end of the new chapter XV, and the division is as in FR. Aragorn is called Trotter throughout, and throughout Trotter was changed later in pencil to Elfstone (see pp. 277 - 8).
In the debate of the Company Boromir's references to the geography of the southern lands are very curious (cf. FR p. 309):
'It is a name of ill-omen,' said Boromir. 'Nor do I see the need to go there. If we cannot cross the mountains, let us take the road to my land that I followed on my way hither: through Rohan and the country of Seven Streams. Or we could go on far into the South and come at length round the Black Mountains, and crossing the rivers Isen and Silverlode (1) enter Ond from the regions nigh the sea.'
'Things have changed since you came north, Boromir,' said Gandalf. 'Did you not hear what I told of Saruman? We must not come near Isengard or the Gap of Rohan. As for the even longer road, we cannot afford the time....'
The remainder of Gandalf's reply is very much as in FR, except that he tells Boromir that 'you are free to leave us and return to Minas Tirith by any road you choose.'
The 'Seven Rivers' have been referred to in the first version of Gandalf's story to the Council of Elrond, where he reported Rada- gast's words to him (p. 132): 'even if you set out this hour you will hardly come to him [Saruman] before the Nine cross the Seven Rivers' (in the next version this becomes 'before the Nine have crossed the seventh river', p. 149).
Features of the geography much further to the South were already in being. Before the story had got very much further it is made plain that 'the Land of Seven Streams' lay 'between the mountains [i.e. the Black Mountains, the later White Mountains] and the sea' (see p. 272); yet Boromir's words here seem only to allow of a quite contrary inter- pretation of 'the country of Seven Streams'. The choices he proposes are essentially as in FR: through Rohan from the West (i.e. passing through the Gap of Rohan) and so to Minas Tirith, or going on South, crossing the Isen, and coming to Minas Tirith through the lands between the mountains and the sea; but they will traverse 'the country of Seven Streams' if they choose the first option, and pass north of the mountains. I cannot explain this, except on the assumption that it was a mere slip, or else on the assumption that the geography of these regions was still in a more fluid state than one would otherwise suppose.
The river Isen first appears here in the narrative,(2) and the 'Silver- lode', which was afterwards the 'Blackroot', the two names being transposed (see p. 235). In this passage also are the first occurrences of an Elvish name for Sauron's dwelling in Southern Mirkwood, and of the name Barad-dur:
'I alone of you have ever been in the dungeons of the Dark Lord; and only in his older and lesser dwelling at Dol-Dugol in Southern Mirkwood. Those who pass the gates of Barad-dur, the Dark Tower in the Land of Shadow, do not return.'
The confusion over Thror and Thrain is no longer present: 'Yet it will not be the first time that I have been to Moria: I sought there long for Thrain son of Thror after he was lost.' And Trotter utters his warning to Gandalf (on the change of roles between Gandalf and Trotter in their willingness to consider the passage of Moria see p. 168).
The episode of the attack by the Wargs enters in this text, and reached virtually the final form outright, with relatively little correction in the course of composition;(3) and the account of the journey of the Company from the little hill where the attack took place to the arrival of Gandalf, Gimli, and Frodo at the top of the steps by the Stair Falls reaches the FR text in almost every point.(4) But Gandalf's words when they saw what had happened to the Gate-stream were much changed. At first he made no reference to the Door(s); then the following was substituted:
'That is where the Door stood once upon a time,' said Gandalf pointing across the water to the cliff opposite. But Frodo could see nothing that marked the spot, unless it was some bushes at the foot of the wall, and some rotting stems and branches that stood up from the water near its further side.
This was in turn rejected and replaced by:
'That is where the Doors stood once upon a time,' said Gandalf pointing across the water. 'There was the Elven-door at the end of the road from Hollin by which we have come, [struck out: and the Dwarven-door further south]. We must get across [struck out: to the Elven-door] as quickly as we can. This way is blocked....'
The idea that there were two distinct western entrances to Moria had appeared in the original version, where Gandalf said (VI.429): 'There were two secret gates on the western side, though the chief entrance was on the East.' Gandalf's words in the present passage in FR (p. 315): 'And there the Gate stood once upon a time, the Elven Door at the end of the road from Hollin by which we have come' derive from this, although in the context of FR, where there is no 'Dwarven Door', the 'Elven Door' is understood in relation to what Gandalf said subsequently: 'the West-door was made chiefly for [the Elves'] use in their traffic with the Lords of Moria' (an idea which in fact goes back to the original version, VI.448: 'the westgates were made chiefly for their use in their traffic with the dwarves'). See further p. 191 and note 3.
The many references to the Moon in this part of the chapter were almost all removed by emendation to the typescript that followed this manuscript, and do not appear in FR. All references to the time of day, and the sunset, are here precisely as in FR to this point in the story, but after the words 'The day was drawing to its end' (FR p. 315) my father wrote: 'and the moon was already shining on the edge of the sunset', where FR has 'and cold stars were glinting in the sky high above the sunset'. As Pippin, the last in the Company (in FR Sam), stepped onto the dry ground after wading through the 'green and stagnant pool' (following the old version: in FR 'a narrow creek') at the north- ernmost end of the lake, and there was 'a swish, followed by a plop' in the distant water, 'at that moment shadows came over the last gleams of the sunset, and the rising moon was veiled in a passing cloud.' 'Rising' can only be a slip without significance; but here FR has: 'The dusk deepened, and the last gleams of the sunset were veiled in cloud.' The two great holly-trees beneath the cliff stood 'stiff, dark, and silent, throwing deep shadows in the moon', where FR has 'throwing deep night-shadows about their feet'. Thus in FR there is no reference to the moon until Gandalf passed his hands over the smooth space on the cliff-wall and 'The Moon now shone upon the grey face of the rock'. After this point, other references to the Moon were similarly removed. When Gandalf's spells had no effect, it is said here that 'the moon shone pale, the wind blew cold, and the doors stood fast'; in FR 'the countless stars were kindled,' etc. When the doors at last opened, 'a shadowy stair could be seen climbing steeply up. The moonlight
fell upon the lower steps, but beyond the darkness was deeper than night'; in FR the reference to the moonlight on the steps is absent. The tentacles of the Watcher in the Water 'came wriggling over the threshold, glistening in the moon', where FR (p. 322) has 'glistening in the starlight'. But inside Moria, when Gandalf stood in doubt before the archway opening into three passages, and said in the present text 'It is all night inside here; but outside the moon has long sunk and the night is getting old [> the moon is sinking and the dark hours are passing]', in FR he said 'outside the late Moon is riding westward and the middle-night has passed.'
My father had said that six nights before, the first night march of the Company from Hollin (p. 167), the Moon was 'almost at the full' ('at the full', FR); and on the previous night, when the Wargs attacked again, 'the night was old, and westward the waning moon was setting' (so also in FR). My father had forgotten this, and as he wrote the present version he evidently saw a young moon in the West ('shining on the edge of the sunset'). When he realised that the moon must now be almost into its last quarter and rising late he changed the text as described above; but surely the reference to the moon shining on the cliff-face should have been removed with all the others?(5)
A narrative element that came to nothing is seen in some rejected passages. While Gandalf was 'gazing at the blank wall of the cliff' (FR p. 317) it is said that Legolas (who in FR was 'pressed against the rock, as if listening') 'exploring southward along the lake-side was lost in the twilight ., and when the ripples on the water came closer to the shore 'the voice of Legolas was calling; his feet were running in haste towards them.' As Bill the pony dashed away into the darkness 'Legolas ran up breathless with his drawn knife in his hand; he was talking wildly in the elvish tongue' - but this was evidently rejected as soon as written in view of what is said subsequently, when Gandalf drove the Company into the doorway: 'Legolas at last came running up, gasping for breath' and sprang over the tentacles that were already fingering the cliff-wall; 'Gimli grasped him by the hand and draped him inside.' It was at this point that my father abandoned the idea.(6)
As first written, the description of the design that Gandalf brought to light was scarcely developed from the original account (VI.449). Beneath the arch of interlacing letters 'in the elvish character' there were 'the outlines of an anvil and hammer surmounted by a crown and crescent moon. More clearly than all else there shone forth three stars with many rays.' It is now Gimli, not Gandalf, who says 'There are the emblems of Durin!', and Legolas says 'And there are the star-tokens of the High-elves!' Gandalf still says that 'they are made of some silver substance that is seen only when touched by one who knows certain words', but he adds: 'and I guess too that they shine only in the moonlight' (in the original text, when the story was that the sun was shining on the cliff-wall, he said 'at night under the moon they shine most bright'). His words were changed, apparently at once, to the text of FR: 'They are made of ithildin (7) that mirrors only the starlight and the moonlight, and sleeps until it is touched by one who speaks words now long forgotten in Middle-earth.'
The description of the design itself was changed to read:
... the outlines of an anvil and hammer surmounted by a crown with seven stars. Below were two trees bearing a crescent moon. More clearly than all else there shone forth in the middle of the door a single star with many rays.
'There are the emblems of Durin!' cried Gimli.
'And there is the Tree of the High-elves!' said Legolas.
'They are made of ithildin,' said Gandalf...
Gandalf's reference in FR to 'the Star of the House of Feanor' is thus absent.
There is found in this manuscript, as an integral part of the text, the earliest drawing of the arch and the signs beneath (reproduced on p. 182).(8) It will be seen that this drawing fits the revised description, in that the crown is accompanied by seven stars, there are two trees surmounted by crescent moons, and there is only one star in the centre, not three as in the first description. The natural assumption would be that the alteration of the description in the text, which stands on the page preceding the drawing, was made immediately; but in that case it is very puzzling that a little later in this version, when Gandalf uttered the word Mellon, 'the three stars shone out briefly, and faded again' (which was not corrected).
Taum Santoski has provided the explanation of this characteristic textual impasse. The fuzziness at the top of the trees is caused by heavy erasures; and he suggests that in the drawing as it was originally made, accompanying the first description in the text, there were three stars: the one in the centre was retained, but the two to either side were erased and replaced by trees. I have no doubt whatever that this is the correct solution. The revised description in the text thus fits the revised drawing; and at that time my further merely failed to notice the subsequent reference to the three stars when Gandalf spoke the word Mellon.
An erasure above the crown shows that there was originally a crescent moon here, as in the first form of the description. Taum Santoski has also been able to see that in a preliminary stage of the introduction of the two trees they were larger, and each had both a circle (whether a sun or a full moon) and a crescent above it.(9)
When Gandalf was striving to find the spell that would open the doors he said that he once knew 'every spell in all the tongues of Elf, Dwarf, or Goblin' (FR 'of Elves or Men or Orcs') that was ever so used; he did not say 'I shall not have to call on Gimli for words of the secret dwarf-tongue that they teach to none'; and he declared that 'the opening word was Elvish' (FR 'the opening words were Elvish') - anticipating the solution of the riddle. The words of the first spell that Gandalf tried remain exactly as in the original version (VI.451); but as already indicated the opening word is now Mellon as in FR, not the plural Mellyn as formerly.
When Frodo asked Gandalf what he thought of the monster in the water of the lake (FR p. 323) Gandalf at first replied: 'I do not know. I have never before seen or heard tell of such a creature'. This was struck out and replaced by the words in FR, 'but the arms were all guided by one purpose'. Possibly in relation to this, there is a pencilled note at this point in the manuscript: '? Insert words of Gimli saying that there were traditions among the Dwarves about strangling fingers in the dark.' - 'Goblins' appear again, as in the old version, where FR has 'Orcs', in Gandalf's 'There are older and fouler things than goblins in the deep places of the world.'
In the account of the two long marches through Moria there are scarcely any differences to be remarked. It is 'the hobbits' (not Pippin) who dared not make the leap over the great fissure (FR p. 325); and Sam's mention of rope ('I knew I'd want it, if I hadn't got it!') is absent - just as the passage in which he goes through his belongings before leaving Rivendell and discovers that he has no rope ('Well, I'll want it. I can't get it now', FR p. 294) is absent from the preceding chapter (p. 165).(10)
When the Company came to the great hall in which they passed the second night (and which Gandalf declared, as in FR, was a good deal higher than 'the Dimrill Gate'), Gimli replied thus to Sam's question 'They didn't live down in these nasty darksome holes, surely?':
'They were not nasty holes, and even now they are not so, unless others than the dwarves here made them so. How would you have passed through, and breathed and lived, if it were not for the skill of the builders long ago? Though many shafts, I doubt not, are blocked and broken with the years, the air still flows and is for the most part good. And of old the halls and mines were not darksome
Here the text breaks off, all of Gimli's speech being struck through and replaced by his words in FR: 'These are not holes. This is the great realm and city of the Dwarrowdelf. And of old it was not darksome but full of light and splendour, as [I will sing you a song >] is still remembered in our songs.' There is an isolated draft for this rejected speech of Gimli's, in which it is completed: 'And of old they were not darksome: they were lit with many lights and sparkled with polished metals and with gems.'
Gimli's song her
e appears (in a rider to the manuscript) written out clear in its final form (but with countless lamps for shining lamps in the third verse, and There ruby, beryl, opal pale for There beryl, pearl, and opal pale in the fourth). A few pages of rough drafting are found (one of which begins with the draft of Gimli's words in praise of Moria just mentioned), but these do not carry the development of the song very far; more workings must have been lost. Only the verse beginning The world was fair, the mountains tall was achieved here, and there is little else save fragmentary and rejected lines. There is also drafting (no doubt the earliest) for a form in four-line stanzas with a rhyme scheme aaba and internal rhyme in the third line; of this three quatrains were completed:
The world was young, the mountains green,
No mark upon the moon was seen,
When Durin came and gave their name
To lands where none before had been.
nameless lands bad been.
The world was fair, the mountains tall,
With gold and silver gleamed his hall,
When Durin's throne of carven stone
Yet stood behind the guarded wall.
The world is dark, the mountains old,
In shadow lies the heaped gold;
In Durin's halls no hammer falls,
The forges' fires are grey and cold.
Among many other half-formed lines or couplets are:
When Durin woke and gave to gold
its first and secret name of old
When Durin carne to Azanul
and found and named the nameless pool (11)
The History of Middle Earth: Volume 7 - The Treason of Isengard Page 24
