Then follows: 'Remove the gift scene and place it at this point just before drink of farewell.'
On an isolated page are two further versions of Keleborn's descrip- tion of the Great River, immediately preparatory to the passage in the fair copy manuscript, and both beginning in mid-sentence. The first of these was at once replaced by the second and need only be cited in its opening sentences: (34)
(i) [For of old the Forest of Lorien] was greater than it now is, and even yet evil comes seldom under the trees upon the shores of the River. But after some nine leagues you will be brought to a bare and barren country of heath and stone, and the river will wind in deep ravines until it divides about the tall island of Tolondren....
(ii) [you will find that] the trees will fail, and you will come to a barren country. There the river flows in stony vales among high moors, until it comes to the tall island of Tolondren. About the rocky shores of the isle it casts its arms, and then falls with noise
and smoke over the cataracts of Rhosfein [written above in pencil: Dant-ruin] down into the Nindalf - the Wetwang as it is called in your speech. That is a wide region of sluggish fen, where the stream becomes tortuous and much divided; there the Entwash river flows in by many mouths from the West. Beyond, on this side of the Great River, lies Rohan. On the further side are the bleak hills of Sarn-gebir [in version (i) Sarn > Sern Gebir]. The wind blows from the East there, for they look out over the Dead Marshes and the Nomenlands [in version (i) the Nomen- lands (of Uvanwaith)] to the passes of Mordor: Kirith Ungol.
This passage in its variant forms is the fullest account of the geography of these regions yet encountered, and I postpone discussion of it, in relation to the earliest map of The Lord of the Rings, to the next chapter.
Despite his direction to bring in the gift scene 'just before the drink of farewell' (p. 282) my father now changed his mind, and introduced the cup of parting here, in the same place as in FR (pp. 390-1), and in the same words, except that Galadriel first said 'though the hour of shadow has come in its appointed time', and then 'though shadows long foretold approach', before her words in FR were reached: 'though night must follow noon, and already our evening draweth nigh.' After 'Then she called to each in turn' my father directed: 'Here take in gift-scene (in short or longer form).' The 'short form' of the scene is found under the heading 'If the gift-scene is cut out, or down, it might run thus:"
To each of the guests she gave a small brooch shaped like a golden flower with three leaves of jewelled green. 'This shall be in remembrance of Lothlorien,' she said, 'and all elves that see these shall know that you are friends. For you two,' she said, turning to Frodo and Sam, 'I have also small gifts of my own in remembrance of our last meeting. To you, little gardener and lover of trees, I will give this, though it may seem little to look on. She beckoned to Sam and laid in his hand (... so to end of Sam... )
'And for you, Frodo, I have prepared this,' she said...
(The last part of this text is written thus in the original.)
(viii)
The conclusion of the chapter in its earliest extant form is written in ink in clear script with little hesitation in the phrasing, and closely approaches FR (despite very many small differences in the actual words). The feeling of the Company as the River bore them away from Lorien is expressed thus (and is the first suggestion of the idea that Lorien existed in a mode of Time distinct from that of the world beyond its borders, unless it is present in Keleborn's words on p. 249):
Lorien was slipping backward like a green vessel masted with trees sailing to forgotten shores, while they were cast again on the grey never-halting water of time.
Galadriel's song heard in the distance as the boats slipped down Anduin is not recorded; indeed there is a clear suggestion that when he first wrote this concluding passage my father did not intend that it should be (although the words 'Song of Galadriel' in the outline on p. 279 perhaps suggest otherwise):
But she sang in [the ancient elvish tongue >] some ancient hidden tongue, and he heard not the words. [Added: The music was fair but it bore no heart's ease.] Then suddenly the river swept round a bend and the banks rose upon either side. They saw her never more. Turning now their faces to their journey they faced the sun...
The initial workings for Galadriel's songs were nonetheless found with the earliest manuscripts of this chapter, both her song upon the swan-boat (of which there is also a finished text) and Namarie'. The completed form of the first reads:
I sang of leaves, of leaves of gold, and leaves of gold there grew:
Of wind I sang, a wind there came and in the branches blew.
Beyond the Sun, beyond the Moon, the foam was on the Sea,
And by the strand o f Tirion there grew a golden Tree.
Beneath the stars of Evereve in Eldamar it shone,(35)
In Eldamar beside the walls of Elven Tirion.
But far away and far away beyond the Shadow-meres
Now long the golden leaves have grown upon the branching years.
And Lorien, O Lorien! the river flows away
And leaves are falling in the stream, and leaves are borne away;
O Lorien, too long I dwell upon this Hither Shore
And in a fading crown I twine the golden elanor.
But if a ship I now should sing, what ship would come to me,
What ship would bear me ever back across so wide a sea?
Pencilled changes bring the song in all points to the form in FR. My father was working at the same time on the Elvish song, which had reached this form:
Ai! laurie lantar lassi surinen
inyalemine ramar aldaron
inyali ettulielle turme marien
anduniesse la miruvorion
Varda telumen falmar kirien
laurealassion omar mailinon.
Elentari Vardan Oiolossean
Tintallen mali ramar ortelumenen
arkandava-le qantamalle tulier
e falmalillon morne sindanorie
no mirinoite kallasilya Valimar.
I have mentioned earlier (p. 266) the very close relationship between the writing of the foregoing drafts and the writing of the fair copy manuscript; and the result of this mode of composition is that there is very little that need be said about the new text (numbered XX but without title: 'Farewell to Lorien' was pencilled in later).
In Keleborn's words to the Company on the last evening (see p. 273) he still speaks of 'the great falls of Rosfein, where the River runs out of the ravines among the Green Hills', but this was changed, before the manuscript was completed, to 'where the River thunders down from Sarn-gebir'. His parting advice at the Tongue on the following day naturally scarcely differs from the text (pp. 282 - 3) which was written for this place in the fair copy (note 34); but 'the cataracts of Rhosfein' become 'the cataracts of Dant-ruinel' (Dant-ruin is pencilled over Rhosfein in the draft text), and at the end of the passage Keleborn says, not 'to the passes of Mordor: Kirith Ungol', but 'to Kirith Ungol, and the gates of Mordor'.
Pencilled alterations to the passage in the fair copy manuscript changed Tolondren to Eregon, then to Brandor, then to the Tindrock that we call Tol Brandor; and Dant-ruinel to Rauros (with marginal notes Rauros = 'Rush-rain' or 'Roar-rain'). At this time Rosfein in Keleborn s earlier speech was changed to Rauros.(36)
The much fuller account in FR (p. 386) of the elven-cloaks provided for the members of the Company (see p. 272) was added in, probably not much later (see p. 343 and note 35), and the words of the Elves 'There is no magic woven in these cloaks' removed with the introduc- tion of Merry's question (Pippin's in FR) 'Are these garments magical?' The leaf-brooches were a further and subsequent addition (see p. 398). When Haldir reappeared to act as their guide from Caras Galadon (now without his brother Orofin) he said, just as in the draft for this passage, 'There are strange things happening away back there. We do not know what is the meaning of them' (see pp. 279 - 80). This was subsequently struck out on the fair copy, but then marked Stet; t
his was in turn struck out, and Haldir's words do not appear in the following text of the chapter or in FR (p. 387). It is very hard to see why my father removed them, and why he hesitated back and forth before finally doing so. Apparently as a comment on this, he pencilled a note on the manuscript: 'This won't do - if Lorien is timeless, for then nothing will have happened since they entered.' I can only interpret this to mean that within Lorien the Company existed in a different Time - with its mornings and evenings and passing days - while in the world outside Lorien no time passed: they had left that 'external' Time, and would return to it at the same moment as they left it. This question is further discussed later (pp. 367 - 9). But it does not seem to me to explain why only Haldir's opening words were removed. His announcement, which was allowed to stand, that the Dimrill Dale was full of smoke and that there were noises in the earth, merely explains what the 'strange things' were which the Elves did not understand; and these 'strange things' had obviously only begun since the Company entered the Golden Wood.
As in the draft (p. 281) the words of Galadriel's song on the swan-boat are not reported, but my father subsequently put a mark of insertion on the manuscript, with the word 'Song'. On the completed text of her song found with the draft papers and given on p. 284 he then wrote 'Galadriel's Song for XX.8', this being the number of the page in the present manuscript. Similarly there is no suggestion that Galadriel's parting song ('in some ancient tongue of the West, from beyond the margin of the world') should be given, though 'he heard not the words' was changed on the manuscript to 'he did not understand the words', as in FR; but here again my father subsequent- ly pencilled a mark of insertion and the word 'Song' in the margin.
'They saw her never more' of the draft (p. 284) becomes now 'Never again did Frodo see the Lady Galadriel', where in FR it is said 'To that fair land Frodo never came again.'
----------------------------
The following outline is found on a small, isolated scrap of paper. The only evidence of date that I can see is the fact that 'Sam's casket' (i.e. his gift from Galadriel) is referred to, and it therefore followed the present chapter. But this seems as good a place as any to give it, in relation to the end of the major outline which I have called 'The Story Foreseen from Moria' on p. 212.
The Three Rings are to be freed, not destroyed by the destruction of the One. Sauron cannot arise again in person, only work through men. But Lorien is saved, and Rivendell, and the Havens - until they grow weary, and until Men (of the East) 'eat up the world'. Then Galadriel and Elrond will sail away. But Frodo saves the Rings.
Frodo saves the Shire; and Merry and Pippin become important.
Sackville-Bagginses are chucked out (become pot-boys at Bree).
Sam's casket restores Trees.
When old, Sam and Frodo set sail to island of West and [sic] Bilbo finishes the story. Out of gratitude the Elves adopt them and give them an island.
At the head of the page is written: 'Saruman becomes a wandering conjuror and trickster'.
NOTES.
1. The Stone Hills are named in the outlines given on pp. 233 and 250. The last word in the illegible phrase preceding 'at Stone Hills' might possibly be 'drop', which taken with the note in the outline on p. 233 that the 'parting of ways' would take place 'at Stonehills' might suggest that this was a first hint of the great falls in Anduin.
2. The word Carrock is very indistinct; it occurs again in outline (c), but is there equally so. Yet I think that this is what it must certainly be, especially since it seems very suitable: for Tolondren was the origin of Tol Brandir, and thus the 'Great Carrock' would answer to Beorn's 'Little Carrock' or 'Lesser Carrock', itself also rising amid the waters of Anduin but far to the North; ondren being no doubt a derivative of the stem GOND 'stone' (Etymologies, V.359).
3. With the rejected word Duil cf. Duil Rewinion, name of the Hills of the Hunters (west of the river Narog) on the first Silmarillion map, IV.225. - Emyn Rain is subsequently spelt Rhain (see note 9); cf. the Etymologies, V.383, stem REG, Noldorin rhein, rhain 'border', also Minas rhain (Minas Tirith) p. 116.
4. This is the first occurrence of the Wetwang. The second word in the Elvish name Palath Nenui is slightly uncertain, but seems probable. Cf. the Etymologies, V.380, stem PAL, Noldorin palath 'surface'; also palath 'iris', VI.432, VII.101. Palath Nen(ui) occurs also on the First Map (see pp. 299, 308).
5. The word Naith 'Angle' (see the Etymologies, V.387, stem SNAS, Noldorin naith 'gore') seems in the context of this outline to be a name for the 'green spit' or 'Tongue' where the Company embarked from Lorien on their journey down Anduin (cf. also Naith Lorien in outline (a)); and subsequently (p. 280) this is expressly stated: 'The Naith or Angle (as the elves called this green sward)'.
The name Angle is variously used. In the earliest mention of the Lorien story, p. 207, the Company 'journey to Angle between Anduin and Blackroot. There they remain long'; and 'at Angle they debate what is to be done.' Since this was written before the actual story of Lothlorien had been begun, the precise wording cannot perhaps be pressed; and in the original text of the first 'Lothlorien' chapter the meaning seems entirely unambiguous. As soon as they had crossed the Blackroot Hathaldir told them that they had 'entered the Gore, Nelen we call it, which lies in the angle between Blackroot and Anduin' (p. 231), and he told Gimli (ibid.) that in the north there were 'hidden defences and guards across the open arms of the Angle between the rivers'. The other references in that text do not contradict the obvious conclusion from these two passages, that whatever the extent of the woods of Lothlorien may have been, the Angle or Gore (Bennas, Nelen, Nelennas) was 'the heart of Lorien' (see p. 243 note 46), Lorien- between-the-Rivers, the base of the triangle being the eaves of the forest in the North.
Thus 'Naith or Angle' in this outline, and again in the text of the present chapter, referring expressly to the 'Tongue' (the apex of the triangle), represents either a changed meaning of Angle, or else perhaps the use of the English word to signify both the large triangle ('Lorien-between-the-Rivers') and the very small triangle (the Tongue) that was the apex of the other.
On the other hand, in the fair copy manuscript of 'Lothlorien' the distinction is between Narthas 'the Gore', the larger region, and Nelen 'the Angle', the region in the south where the Elves dwelt (see p. 236). I doubt that any clearly correct and consecu- tive formulation can be reached amid such fluidity.
In FR (p. 361) 'the Naith of Lorien, or the Gore' is the large triangle, entered after passage of the Silverlode; and in the same passage Haldir speaks of the dwellings of the Elves down in Egladil, in the Angle between the waters. Egladil occurs once again in FR, p. 389: There in the last end of Egladil upon the green grass the parting feast was held.' Robert Foster, in The Complete Guide to Middle-earth, defines Naith as 'That part of Lorien between Celebrant and Anduin', adding: 'The Naith included Egladil but was of greater extent'; and he defines Egladil as 'The heart of Lorien, the area between Anduin and Celebrant near their confluence. Called in Westron the Angle.'
6. Nelen (with changed application) and Calennel were presumably other possible names, beside Naith (see note 5) and Caletdil, of the 'green spit' or 'Tongue', for which in FR no Elvish name is given.
7. Green-tine: translation of Calendil; Old English tind (cf. the Tittdrock, Tol Brandir), later tine, spike, prong, tooth of a fork; now probably known chiefly of the branches of a deer's horn. Cf. Silvertine, one of the Mountains of Moria (Celebdil).
8. Cf. the outline on p. 250: the Company is told to 'beware of Fangorn Forest upon the Ogodruth or Entwash'.
9. In the original text of the chapter the word is clearly spelt Rhain, while Rain is clear in outline (a). In this outline (c) it seems to be Rhein at the first occurrence, with Rhain written above, but Rhan at the second and third; but the writing is very unclear and I read Rhain here also.
10. The showing of the Mirror now took place on the last evening in Lothlorien: see p. 259. Very probably the fair copy manuscript of 'Galadriel' was now in
existence.
11. Obviously written at the same time as the rest of the text on the page is a disconnected passage that seems best placed here:
At present that is not possible. Westward the servants of Sauron are far abroad and are ... the land ... the Baranduin and the Greyflood. Northward there are strange things hap- pening which we do [not] understand clearly. The Dimrill [Dale] is filled with ash and smoke, and the mountains are troubled. You, Gimli and Legolas, would find it hard to make your way back even with a great company.
'What of the Beornings?' said Gimli.
'I do not know,' said Keleborn. 'They are far away. But I do not think you could now reach them'
The illegible passage could possibly be read (assuming rejection of the word 'are') as 'and have taken over the land between the Baranduin and the Greyflood.' See further note 12. - A part of Keleborn's speech here was afterwards given to Haldir, returned from the northern borders of Lorien to guide the Company from Caras Galadon: pp. 280, 285 - 6.
12. With this speech of Keleborn's compare that in the last chapter (pp. 248 - 9) which was marked for transference to the beginning of this. That passage was indeed quite different, in that Keleborn seemed almost to assume that Gimli and Legolas at least would not continue the Quest, and offered them both the hospitality of Lorien, while also advising Gimli that he might be able to make his way back through the land of the Beornings. Now (quite closely approaching the text of FR, p. 383) he offers a generalised invitation to remain to any of the Company who wish. But from what can be read of the underlying pencilled text it is seen that my father at first retained the passage transferred from the previous chapter in much the same form. The passage given in note 11 shows a change of mind: Gimli and Legolas would stand little chance if they tried to return.
The History of Middle Earth: Volume 7 - The Treason of Isengard Page 38
