by Maz Evans
‘Oh,’ said Virgo quietly. ‘That’s very . . . optimal.’
‘Well, let’s not hang around,’ said Cancer. ‘Those staples aren’t going to order themselves . . . Say your farewells and let’s be on our way.’
‘Of course,’ gulped Virgo. ‘I’ll just be a minute.’
Elliot closed his eyes. He felt really weird.
Virgo approached Zeus and raised her left hand to her right shoulder, bowing slightly.
‘Your Majesty,’ she began. ‘I just want to thank you for your kind protection and guidance. I trust that your future endeavours will be—’
‘Oh, stuff that load of old baloney!’ sniffed Zeus, tears zigzagging down his face. ‘Come here and give your old king a hug!’
Virgo ran gratefully into his arms and allowed herself to be enveloped in a mighty bear hug that the other Gods soon joined.
‘Take care, little one,’ cried Aphrodite, smothering her cheeks with kisses.
‘Look after yourself, darling,’ said Athene, taking several deep calming breaths.
‘Babe,’ whispered Hermes. ‘You know where we are if you need us. Don’t be a stranger.’
‘I won’t,’ said Virgo. Elliot found he couldn’t watch any more. It must just have been really boring or something.
He heard Virgo approach his dad.
‘Mr Hooper, it has been a pleasure to know you, even briefly,’ she said. ‘I infinitely prefer you now you are no longer a Daemon masquerading as you. And I shall think of Josie-Mum often.’
‘You’re a wonderful girl,’ said Dave, giving her a huge hug. ‘And you are welcome back here any time.’
‘Ah – that won’t be possible,’ said Libra. ‘Virgo is banned from travelling to Earth. At least until she has served her probation. And only then if we say so. Which we probably won’t – we haven’t had time to create a flow chart about it.’
‘We can wait,’ Dave winked.
‘I don’t think so,’ chortled Leo. ‘Her probation is up for review in two hundred and fifty years. You’ll be dead.’
‘Good to know,’ said Dave, stepping away and leaving Virgo and Elliot alone.
‘Elliot?’
Even when she said his name, Elliot found himself unable to turn around and face her. What if she cried or made a fuss? That would be so gross.
‘Yeah?’ he said casually, wiping away the tears that he hoped no one else had seen.
‘I have something for you,’ Virgo said.
Elliot couldn’t put it off any longer. He had to face her. Slowly he turned around. She was crying too.
‘Here,’ she said, handing him a package wrapped in toilet paper. She still had a lot to learn about mortal life. Not that he’d be teaching it to her.
He took the parcel and unwrapped it. It was a black Grecian urn, like the ones that he had seen in pictures. But when he looked closely, he saw that the scenes around the edge didn’t depict the exploits of the great heroes – they showed Elliot and Virgo on their adventures. All of them – the Tower of London, Buckingham Palace, the Natural History Museum, Cyclops Island and the Earth’s core. It was a brilliant present.
‘Thanks,’ he said, not caring who saw him cry now.
‘You’re welcome,’ she sniffed, holding out her hand. ‘And I’m sure your parting gift is very meaningful too.’
Elliot winced. He was supposed to get her a present? Who knew . . . ?
‘Yeah, I’ll . . . er . . . post it,’ he mumbled.
They stood there awkwardly, unsure what to do.
‘Well,’ she said, pulling herself up stiffly and placing her left hand to her right shoulder. ‘Thank you, Elliot the Mortal, for your begrudging hospitality and cantankerous company. It has been curious knowing you and I wish you well in your uneventful mortal life.’
They looked at one another for a moment before bursting out laughing. Life with Virgo had been anything but uneventful.
The laughter died when Elliot realized that he was running out of seconds that still had Virgo in them. He tried to think of a way to adequately thank her for her friendship, for making good choices when he hadn’t, for making him laugh, and for saving his life.
‘See ya,’ he said eventually.
She nodded and blew her nose on her hair. Truly, she was such a freak.
‘Come on, Virgo, let’s get a move on,’ huffed Pisces impatiently. ‘We’ll be late for lunch. Especially as you haven’t started preparing it yet.’
‘OK, then,’ she said and returned to her colleagues on the Council.
‘Time for us to be off too,’ said Zeus softly.
‘What?’ said Elliot, feeling panic rising. ‘Where are you going?’
‘Mate – you and your dad don’t need us around, getting under your feet,’ said Hermes, coming and slinging an arm around his shoulder. ‘You don’t need us at all.’
‘Yes – yes, I do,’ said Elliot. ‘I need you all. What if something else . . . happens?’
‘Then you know how to call us,’ said Zeus, pressing a small thunderbolt into his hand. ‘And we’ll be here at the double.’
Elliot looked over at his dad, who nodded happily. Zeus was right. They had so much catching up to do. Living with a family of Greek immortals had been an epic adventure. But wow, was it hard work.
‘Heffer sends his apologies,’ said Zeus, offering a gift wrapped in a dirty rag. ‘He hates goodbyes. But he wanted you to have this. It’s not the original, but he assures me it’s identical to the one you lost.’
Elliot unwrapped the gift. It was his dad’s watch. He clutched it to his chest. He had it back and he silently swore he would never lose it again.
‘Say thanks from me,’ he said, gazing into the King of the Gods’ boundless eyes.
‘I will,’ nodded Zeus tearfully.
‘We love you, Elly,’ said Aphrodite, who was now a snotty mess – although still stunning with it. ‘And when you need help with your first girlfriend, you know where to find me.’
‘Gross,’ said Elliot, feeling the familiar blush at Aphrodite’s embrace.
‘You have a wonderful future ahead of you, Elliot,’ said Athene, gathering him into a hug. ‘We look forward to watching it unfold.’
‘I’ll drop in on you from time to time, mate,’ said Hermes, lifting Elliot up into the air, before flipping and catching him again. ‘You’re family now. Bad luck, bruv. BOSH!’
Elliot accepted his fist-bump with a grin. He somehow knew he’d see the Gods again. Unlike Virgo . . .
‘Come on, son,’ said his dad gently. ‘Let’s get the kettle on.’
‘Well – bye, everybody,’ said Elliot, looking at Virgo, who was looking back at him. ‘Thanks. For everything.’
He tried to block out the chorus of farewells as he and his dad headed inside Home Farm and shut the door on the most extraordinary chapter of Elliot Hooper’s young life.
Zeus watched his young friend retreat inside the house. He felt like he’d lost a son. But David Hooper had regained his, and that was the most important thing. Perhaps, Zeus considered, it was time to get married again. He made a note to call Hera later.
‘Do you think they’ll be OK?’ Athene asked, her beautiful brow lined with concern.
‘I know they will,’ said Zeus, cupping the face of his wise daughter.
He heard the familiar honk of Aphrodite’s pink sports car.
‘Brainy Bum, are you coming?’ she yelled from behind the wheel. ‘Because, let’s face it, you ain’t getting any younger . . .’
‘And you aren’t getting any better at grammar,’ huffed Athene, getting in beside her sister.
‘And you aren’t getting any better at boring-bum farty rubbish,’ mimicked Aphrodite.
‘How is that application for Mastermind going?’ Athene shot back.
Zeus smiled as the car roared away, his daughters still bickering. They loved each other so very much.
‘Dad – laters,’ said Hermes, taking off into the sky. ‘And ditch the toga, man. It’
s sooooo Hellenistic period . . .’
‘Be gone, you young rascal,’ chortled the King of the Gods, walking over to his steed. ‘Right then, Peg. Where to?’
‘Somewhere warm, for the love of the Gods,’ sighed the winged stallion. ‘This damp English weather is murder on my mane.’
‘Roger that!’ cried Zeus. ‘Up, up and aw—’
But before they could take off, Zeus felt a small tug at his arm.
It was Virgo.
‘Well, hello again, missy!’ he said brightly. ‘What can I do for you?’
Virgo leant up and whispered at some length in his ear. Zeus smiled.
‘Are you sure?’ he said softly.
The young Constellation placed something in his hand and wrapped his fingers around it.
‘I’m sure,’ she said.
‘I’ll wait here,’ said Zeus. ‘Get to it.’
And he watched Virgo head off for what he hoped would be her greatest adventure yet.
‘So . . . what now?’ said Dave, putting his hands awkwardly in his pockets.
‘I . . . I don’t know,’ said Elliot. Home Farm seemed weirdly quiet. He could get used to it.
The two stood in embarrassed silence for a few moments before bursting out laughing.
‘This is crazy,’ said Dave, pulling up a chair and sitting at the table. ‘Mr Sopweed has given you all the time off school you need. The old farmhands have agreed to come back and help me get this place up and running, but can’t start for another week. Looks like we’ve got a golden opportunity for a holiday. What do you say?’
‘Awesome,’ said Elliot, feeling his insides light up. ‘Where shall we go?’
‘Well . . . I’m not going to lie,’ Dave said slowly. ‘I’m not exactly flush at the moment, so it’ll have to be pretty cheap and cheerful.’
Elliot grinned. He knew just the place.
‘There was this place in Dorset that Mum and I used to go,’ he said, pulling a tattered map down from the bookshelves and showing his dad their campsite. ‘It’s right by the sea and you can go digging for fossils and stuff and there’s this awesome tea shop that does the best cake and . . . Oh, I mean, only if you want to . . .’
Dave took his son’s hand.
‘Sounds perfect,’ he whispered.
‘It is,’ said Elliot, beaming. ‘I’m sure the tent is still in the shed and all the equipment is probably up in the attic. We might need a new burner, cos Mum and I accidentally exploded the last one when we melted marshmallows all over it, but I’m sure we had—’
And then, there was a knock at the door.
‘Ignore it,’ said Elliot, studying the map while his dad peered out of the kitchen window. ‘So if we go to this campsite, it’s way better – it doesn’t waste space with stuff like showers . . .’
‘I think you’d better get this one, son,’ smiled Dave. ‘It’s for you.’
Elliot gave his dad a quizzical look, but Dave said nothing.
He stood up and walked slowly to the door. He turned the handle and opened it. His heart took flight.
Because, standing there on the doorstep, was Virgo.
‘What do you want?’ he asked. She looked different. Had she got changed?
‘Well,’ Virgo began, ‘I’ve been reflecting extensively on our time together . . .’
‘In the last four minutes?’ Elliot said.
‘Some of us can reflect perfectly well very quickly,’ said Virgo haughtily. ‘Anyway, it occurs to me that, based on our time together and given your recklessness, stubbornness and woeful personal hygiene, it would be foolish and irresponsible of me to leave you to live your life without my excellent guidance and wise counsel.’
Elliot felt his heartbeat quicken. What was Virgo saying? She used so many stupid words, it was hard to tell. Was she—
‘I have spoken to my colleagues on the Council and, after extensive consultation—’
‘Four minutes?’
‘They are prepared to sacrifice my invaluable contribution up in Elysium.’
‘Did someone else figure out how to switch on the dishwasher?’ Elliot asked. He heard his dad laugh behind him.
Virgo’s feet shuffled on the door mat.
‘So, anyway . . . I was thinking . . .’ she began.
Elliot tried not to smile at what he guessed was coming next.
‘Maybe it would be better if I . . . in a manner of speaking . . . sort of . . . stayed here. Perhaps. With you.’
Elliot looked over at his father, who was grinning at the two of them. Dave nodded and winked.
‘What about being an immortal?’ said Elliot. ‘People round here will think it’s a bit weird that you’ll stay twelve years old for ever.’
‘I have considered this,’ said Virgo eagerly. ‘My time here on Earth has caused me to think about immortality. I have lived for thousands of years. But I have found the months spent here on Earth have made me feel curiously . . . alive. This is an optimal feeling. I have decided to keep it. I handed my kardia back to Zeus. See.’
She held out a lock of her long brown hair. Elliot stared at it.
‘I don’t get it,’ he said. ‘What am I looking at?’
‘Oh, son,’ laughed his dad. ‘Have I got a lot to teach you about women . . .’
Elliot turned back to Virgo. Was this really happening? Had she really given up immortality to live on Earth? With him?
‘Well . . . I’ll have to think about it,’ said Elliot slowly. ‘I mean, you’re an epic pain in the butt.’
‘That makes two of us,’ said Virgo.
‘You have got to do something about your jokes . . .’
‘My jokes are excellent. Have I told you the one about the humorous waiter who gets all the orders wrong? He lost his job as he was clearly unsuited to customer service . . .’
‘And I don’t want to hear any mention of how long I do or don’t spend in the bathroom.’
‘I—’
Elliot gave Virgo a look that silenced her at once. He wished he could believe that would last.
‘But I suppose – to do you a favour . . .’
‘I think you’ll find I’m doing you the favour . . .’
‘No way! You want this way more than me!’
‘No, I don’t!’
‘Yes, you do!’
‘No, I—’
‘Let me do you both a favour, you pair of mules,’ laughed Dave, taking Virgo’s hand and leading her into the farmhouse. ‘Virgo – would you like to come and live with us?’
Virgo’s face lit up. Elliot tried to stop his from doing the same.
The Constellation cleared her throat.
‘That would be most . . . optimal,’ she said. ‘Thank you, Mr Hooper. Or can I call you . . . Dave-Dad?’
‘Of course!’ laughed Dave, nudging his son towards his friend. ‘Elliot?’
Elliot smiled.
‘Get in here, butthead.’
And, although he would deny it for years afterwards, Elliot Hooper gave Virgo the most enormous hug.
‘So what’s this?’ Virgo said, looking at the map. ‘You’re planning a trip! Outstanding, I have many thoughts to make it highly optimal – not least as I will take charge of the catering. Hot dogs perhaps? Are there any kennels near the campsite?’
Elliot groaned. What had he let himself in for?
He went to close the door, only to see Zeus sitting astride Pegasus in the fields beyond. The King of the Gods saluted with a wink. Elliot nodded and returned the salute, before Zeus spurred Pegasus on and rose high into the sky.
The King of the Gods did a few victory loops, before flying up, up and away until he was nothing more than a bright speck in the sky.
Elliot Hooper smiled and closed his front door. He was ready. He was ready for a new beginning. He was ready for a new life. He was ready for whatever the next chapter of his story would bring.
And he was ready for whoever might knock at his door.
THE END
(Really)
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br /> What’s What
ELLIOT HOOPER
Category: Mortal
Realm: Earth (currently Underworld)
Powers: 1) Current guardian of Earth, Air and Water Stones 2) Teenage temper (increasing)
This thirteen-year-old mortal male has defeated overwhelming adversity to acquire three CHAOS STONES. The recent loss of his mother, Josie (deceased), has led him to THANATOS in order to claim the terms of their deal, exchanging the gems for the soul of his mother. Scent: still pungent.
VIRGO
Category: Constellation (suspended)/Mortal (temporary?)
Realm: Earth (formerly Elysium, currently Underworld)
Powers: 1) Constellation travel (suspended) 2) Consistent correctness (self-proclaimed)
Presently incarcerated in Tartarus, the former CONSTELLATION is an inmate of the infernal realm along with her fellow Councillors. Owner of a pet gorgon (disputed) and erstwhile companion to ELLIOT. If she ever finds him.
ZEUS
Category: Olympian, King of the Gods (retired)
Realm: Mount Olympus
Powers: 1) Patriarch of Olympian family 2) Putting a ring on it
Regrouping with his family on MOUNT OLYMPUS after ELLIOT’s desertion, Zeus is readying for battle against THANATOS. Chances of success are not dissimilar to a snowball’s in Tartarus.
HERMES
Category: Olympian, Messenger God
Realm: Various (Underworld access pending, currently Mount Olympus)
Powers: 1) Boom 2) Bosh 3) ’Ave it
Recuperating from an extended period in a coma, the Messenger God is determined to find ELLIOT and return him to his friends. Also desires ‘banging abs’ and is working towards the same.
ATHENE
Category: Olympian, Goddess of Wisdom
Realm: Mount Olympus
Powers: 1) Infinite wisdom 2) Transformational powers 3) Annoying her sister Aphrodite
The brains of the operation. And this operation desperately requires brains.
APHRODITE
Category: Olympian, Goddess of Love
Realm: Mount Olympus
Powers: 1) Potent potions 2) Love Taser 3) Everything, we just love her . . .
More a lover than a fighter, Aphrodite is also a fighter. DAEMONS, beware.
