by Carter Ashby
A husky laugh escaped her lips. "Which version of me do you like best?"
"This one. The real one. I always knew you'd be like this. I could tell by the heat between us." He spun her in his arms, grabbed the backs of her thighs, and lifted her onto his hips. He adjusted her and slid into her.
She gasped in shock and then smiled. "You're so strong, Grey," she said softly.
"Are you trying to flatter me, honey?" He thrust into her and buried his lips in her neck.
"I just want you to know—" Suddenly she came hard, her whole body shivering, wrapped around him, clawing and clinging.
He turned and sat her on the edge of the counter. "Lean back," he said. Addy obeyed, propping herself up with her hands on the counter behind her. She kept her ankles locked behind his back. Grey held her hips and watched himself slide in and out of her. "Wanted me to know what?"
"How much I admire you. How much you're my hero."
His eyes shot up to hers. Her hero?
She smiled at him, reached out, and touched his cheek.
"How are you looking at me like this?" he asked. "How are you so sure?"
She dropped her head back and laughed. "How are you not?"
He pulled out, hiked his pants back up, and lifted her into his arms, carrying her back to his bed. He undressed and climbed under the blankets with her. The rest of the afternoon was spent making love—slow, deep, hot love. No thinking about right or wrong. No trying to define everything. Just moving inside of her, filling his hands with her, making her moan and cry and come.
That evening they lay together in the darkening room as the sun lowered behind the tall buildings in the city all around them. He held her hand, so small in his, and felt it—felt that thing that she was so sure about. She'd called him her hero, but what had he done to deserve it? Maybe that didn't matter. Maybe all that mattered right now was how much he wanted to deserve it. What could he do for her to make her look at him like that all the time…like she was proud of him, excited by him? He could grow so addicted to that look.
"Mmm," she hummed, "I can hear the gears turning in there." She touched his furrowed brow.
He turned on his side to face her and traced a fingertip along her smiling bottom lip. "Pretty girl," he said. "I wanna make you happy."
Her smile brightened. She took a breath and let it out slowly. "I'll be clear, then, so that you can make the decisions you need to make. I'm going to go home tonight. I need that, if for no other reason than to get some sleep for school in the morning."
He lifted her knuckles to his lips and started kissing them one-by-one.
"Another thing. I don't want to make any decisions or do anything rash based on this pregnancy test," she said.
He lifted his eyes to hers.
She smiled. "I feel like you're about ready to burn everything to the ground and do something drastic like, dare I say, marry me? We don't know everything yet, so let's just set that aside for now—not factor that into our decisions, okay?"
"You're so level-headed," he said, his hand involuntarily drifting low on her abdomen. "I find that very attractive."
She giggled. "We need to have this conversation."
"I don't want to," he said. He sat up on his elbow and cupped her jaw. "Fuck it all, Addy, let's be together. Worst case scenario, I lose my job, and you have to go to another school, but so what?"
She dropped her head back and laughed. He was grinning, too, because he knew how unreasonable it was, and that after she left, he would be changing his tune altogether. He said, "We'll go tell your mother we plan to live in sin. What can she do? She's already disowned you. Then we'll tell my father, and he'll say, 'That's fine, Grey,' since he never hears anything I say anyway."
Addy's hands threaded through his hair. He watched her expression gradually sober. "I would do that, Grey," she said.
The humor drained out of him, and she suddenly looked very young and innocent. "I know you would, kiddo. It would be an adventure and a challenge. But what would it get you on the other side?"
"Not a husband. Not love."
His jaw tightened. "I'm sorry I can't give you those things."
"Won't."
"Can't."
Her eyes welled up. "Won't. Don't lie to yourself."
He gritted his teeth, fighting back the urge to argue. His own eyes stung with unshed tears.
Addy inhaled deeply, sat up, and tucked the sheet up under her arms, over her breasts. As much time as he'd spent with them that day, he still hated to see them get hidden. "Okay," she said, "so let's get practical. How do we deal with tomorrow?"
He fell to his back and stared at the ceiling. "I want you to let people think you were coerced—"
"I've already said that I won't do that. Not only is it unjust to you, it makes me look weak and pathetic. I'd rather lose two years of hard work than have people think I'm weak and pathetic."
He let out a frustrated laugh. "Of course you would. All right, well, all anyone knows about is the kiss of death—"
She smacked him on the arm.
"—So we confess to that. A one time indiscretion."
"We should have a reason for it. Like, one of us was distraught, and the other was trying to offer comfort."
"I agree," Grey said. "Maybe you were stressed out about your thesis, or something, and I was calming you down when you just leapt at me like a sex-crazed animal—"
She threw her pillow at his head. He shoved the pillow aside and pulled her into his arms. With her head nestled in the crook of his shoulder, she said, "You know, that's not a bad idea. It would look better for you if I was the aggressor."
"No fucking way, Addison. You won't let me protect you, there's no way in hell I'm letting you protect me. No, we'll just call it a mutual moment of weakness, the first and only of its kind."
The room was almost too dark to see, now. Grey reached to his nightstand to turn on his lamp. Unfortunately, Addy took the move as an opportunity to sit up, swing her legs out of bed, and start gathering her clothes. "I've gotta get home. And we can't do this anymore. Someone will see us and then there goes our little 'one time indiscretion' story."
"I'm having a hard time caring, right now."
"It'll come back to you," she said, with her back to him. He watched her pull up her panties and fasten her bra, her slender fingers deft and unfaltering. "You'll remember how much you like your life the way it is, and you'll care again, don't worry."
How was he supposed to feel about that? She thought his feelings so fleeting that she could casually dismiss them. What if she was right? What if he really did stop caring about her once he had his clothes on and was back in front of his students? No, it wasn't possible. As he watched her pull on her jeans and shirt, he knew she was wrong. Somehow she'd ruined whatever he was before, and now he was something different. He just didn't know what.
"When's the appointment?" he asked.
"Tuesday, nine in the morning. But I don't want you there."
"Yes, you do. I'm your hero. You need me by your side." He grinned a little at the memory of her words.
She turned and arched a brow at him. "It means something to me that you want to come. But if someone sees us, then—"
"Addison, I'll be there. I'll pick you up at eight-thirty."
She huffed. "We should meet there to at least reduce the risk—"
"I'll pick you up. That's that, okay?"
She studied him. Smiled a little. Then crawled across the bed and kissed him on the cheek. "You're exerting more authority than you've a right to," she said.
"I know," Grey said. "You're bringing out the caveman in me."
She kissed him again and backed off the bed. "Good. I like your caveman side. Now how am I going to get home?"
He grinned, before climbing out of bed and dressing. He'd forgotten about leaving her car in St. Claire. He drove her home and made out with her in his car for a good hour before she finally managed to escape. He watched her disappear into the door of he
r apartment building.
When he went to bed alone that night, he felt her absence like an amputated limb. He woke up several times through the night reaching for her, only to find empty space.
CHAPTER TWENTY
The next day at school, Addy stood in front of her 101 class with as much dignity as she could muster. It was impossible to tell if their looks and whispers had to do with her and Grey, or if she was only attributing this motivation to the usual behavior of the students. Either way, the whole thing made her feel dirty, and she longed to declare to them all that yes, she, Addison Hart, had repeatedly had the absolute best sex imaginable with one Dr. Greyson McDaniel.
But it wasn't to be. She taught her class, assigned the final paper for the semester, and made her way back to Grey's office. The door was closed, so she opened it boldly and without hesitation, though her insides were churning with nerves and excitement. Somehow the man had managed to lift her to such heights of ecstasy that she felt she could fly and sing just from pure joy. At the same time, he'd offered nothing but disappointment for her future. The emotions were impossible to manage.
Yet she kept them from displaying on her face, even as she walked in the office to find her dearest lover kissing his perfect, blond girlfriend.
Addy stood frozen one step inside the door. Grey stepped back from Caroline who turned to smile over her shoulder. "I'm so sorry," Addy said, her ingrained manners coming to her rescue. "I'll come back later."
"No," Grey said. "We were about to go have brunch. Stay."
Addy bobbed a nod and moved to her little desk as Grey and Caroline exited. As soon as they were gone, she let go. She dropped her head to her desk, fisted her hands in her hair, and choked back tears of pain and screams of rage. This was no place for that kind of breakdown, but the rage and humiliation burned right through her. She gathered her things and went home, knowing she couldn't mask that pain for very long.
She sat on her sofa and turned on the television, hoping to let her mind shut down and just purge herself of the feelings warring inside of her. Her cell phone buzzed in her pocket.
Grey. He'd texted, "She surprised me."
Since the only thing Addy could think to reply was, "Fuck you," she decided to just turn off her phone. She watched television and cried for over an hour. Then she forced herself into the bathroom to cool her face. Grey was so busy with his life, he'd completely forgotten that her car was in St. Claire. She'd bicycled to and from school, since it was a nice day. But now she wanted her car back.
She called a cab company and waited a half hour for the cab to arrive. When it did, she gathered her purse and gave the driver directions to St. Claire, to Maya's house where her car was still parked.
The ride was quiet and uneventful. Addy was too tired to cry anymore. After arriving at Maya's, paying the cab driver, and sending him on his way, Addy stood by her car for a moment. She heard the sounds of children laughing and squealing. With a smile, she walked through Maya's yard, around to the back, chain-link fence, where she leaned and watched Mattie and Sophie playing with a puppy. Jayce and Maya were looking on, their backs to Addy. Maya's arm was around Jayce's waist, his was around her shoulders. Addy's heart warmed at the sight.
Unfortunately, she immediately thought of Grey. Her traitorous heart leapt at the memory of him. But Addy wasn't a person ruled by her heart. She forced the image of Grey away and replaced it with Ben. She didn't know Ben well. Maybe he wasn't the fathering type either…but he represented something to her. He represented possibility, and right now, that's what she was going with. Possibility. Grey didn't offer her that much.
Addy decided she'd watched long enough. She cleared her throat, so that Jayce and Maya turned and greeted her with dual smiles.
"I told Maya you'd just buy a new car," Jayce said, "and that she should consider herself the proud owner of a Mercedes."
"You know, if I still had access to family money, I'd give her that car," Addy replied.
Jayce and Maya had wandered toward her.
"You'll get your family money back," Maya said. "In church yesterday, your mom was crying and went forward after service to ask for prayers for casting out her only daughter. I think she'll come around."
Addy rolled her eyes. "She's just feasting on the drama. We'll see."
Maya glanced back at her kids and lowered her voice. "So? How was your weekend with the professor?"
"What makes you think I spent the weekend with him?"
Maya simply arched her brow.
With a sigh, Addy said, "It was wonderful. That's all I intend to say on the subject. Now tell me where that puppy came from."
Maya shot Jayce a look. Jayce winced. "I got in trouble for that, actually," he said.
Maya said, "He claims that he had no idea it was a big deal. He just saw puppies being given away in a box in the back of some guy's truck. Didn't bother to find out how big these things were going to get. Just took one, brought it here, and then acted stunned when I went through the roof."
"You didn't talk to her first?" Addy asked.
Jayce shrugged. "I didn't think about it. I'm new to the relationship thing. I just thought the kids would love it."
"Which they do, of course," Maya said.
"Anyway, now I know," Jayce said, pulling Maya close to his side. "Lesson learned. When considering a pet, discuss it with the woman first."
"You two are just too cute," Addy said with a laugh. She did her best to ignore the pain in her chest and the tears threatening to surface.
Jayce must have seen it, because his expression darkened. When Maya ran over to save the puppy from being hugged to death, Jayce hopped the fence, put his arm around Addy's shoulders, and led her around front. "What did the bastard do?" he asked, getting straight to the point as usual.
Addy shook her head, a terrible lump forming in her throat. Shit, she should have gone two minutes sooner, she could feel her control slipping.
"Addy, you've got a home here. Anytime, you hear?" Jayce tipped her chin up.
Addy let go of the breath she'd been holding, and with it, her control. She pressed her hand to her eyes and trembled with the effort to hold back her sobs. Tears flowed in silence. Jayce's hand made soothing circles on her back.
At last, she managed to regain some control. Dragging her wrist over her eyes to dry the tears, she lifted her chin. "I'm just tired, is all," she said. "I'm terrified about the p-pregnancy. I'm tired of dealing with Grey. I saw him kiss his girlfriend this morning and it just—just sucked, is all. I thought…I stupidly thought we might at least be exclusive to each other in secret until the passion died down. I mean, I'm fully aware he doesn't want to marry me, but I did think he would at least be mine for a little while."
Jayce's expression was inscrutable, but his dark eyes were extremely expressive.
"Not your fight, tough guy," Addy said, giving his cheek a pinch.
This elicited a hint of a smile. "I want it to be. I don't like seeing you hurt."
"It's my own doing." She shrugged and moved to her car, unlocking it with her key and opening the door. "Save your energy. I may have to take you up on your offer of a home in about nine months."
"We've got room, Addy."
"Thanks." She gave him a reassuring wink and got in her car, headed for home.
She parked in her slot in the garage beneath the building and trudged up the stairs to her apartment. She stopped dead when she saw the woman standing in front of her door. Caroline.
Really, Addy wondered, how much more of this do I have to deal with? "Something I can do for you?" Addy offered, in her most polite tone.
"I just want you to know that I'm not giving him up. I realize you and he had a little moment last week, but that's over, and if I ever catch you putting your slutty little hands on him again, I'll—"
"What?" Addy interrupted with a laugh. "You'll what? Beat me up? Claw my eyes out? Really, Caroline, have some dignity. This is just completely unladylike." Addy immediately regretted s
peaking. She should have stood there and taken the verbal lashing so that Caroline would leave, content with having staked her claim. But Addy had never been one to take an undeserved beating.
"You snide little bitch!" Caroline shouted, closing the distance. "You throw yourself at a man who has no interest in you, and you claim that I'm unladylike?"
"Are you absolutely certain he has no interest in me?" Addy said, with a wicked smirk and heavy innuendo in her tone. She could almost see the little shoulder-angel jumping up and down telling her to stop.
Caroline's jaw dropped. "What the hell does that mean? I guarantee you he gets everything he wants from me. You've got nothing to offer him."
Addy arched a brow. "Don't I? I'm younger. I'm forbidden. I'm mere inches away from him day after day. You must be very confident, Caroline, to think that you alone have prevented him from resisting temptation all this time."
Caroline's face turned a comical shade of red. "He would never fuck a silly little slut like you! He's interested in sophisticated women."
"How sophisticated will he think you are when I tell him you've come here to piss a circle around him like a bitch marking her territory?"
The slap came out of the blue. Addy truly didn't think the woman had physical violence in her. The second slap was even more of a surprise. Addy shoved Caroline as hard as she could just to get some distance. Caroline charged her, hitting her in the stomach and knocking her to her back.
After that they were rolling, slapping, clawing, in a most humiliating display of female violence. The whole thing was a blur to Addy. Several neighbors were around, cell phones were brought out, and then there were police.
That's how Addy wound up standing behind bars in a cell next to Grey's soon-to-be ex-girlfriend, both holding their heads up as high as they could, in an unspoken contest to prove which of them was the most blameless.
Grey bailed both of them out, but he asked them to bring Caroline first. It took her an excruciating half hour of crying and begging before she finally gave up. He broke up with her, put her in a cab, and went back in the building to collect Addy.
