The tears I held back all morning let loose, sliding unbidden down my cheeks. Pain twists in my heart as the possibility of being alone again sinks in. The depressing thought of going back to microwave meals for one has me ready to find the nearest park bench and cry all afternoon.
Listen to yourself! Don’t slide back to who you were before that exciting night on the patio, you idiot.
I wipe my cheeks, willing the tears to stop. I am sliding precariously close to acting like a desperately sad and weak woman. A woman I no longer am.
In your heart, you know you’re worthy of love, and he is the right man for you. If he doesn’t come by your place, you need to hire a car and go to Hoboken. If you don’t fight for what you feel then it truly was nothing.
Emboldened by discerning a course of action I can live with, I hail a cab to ride to my place. I’ve come a long way in the short time I’ve known Tony, from being a doormat to ordering a man to his knees. Before, I never would have been so bold, but now I know better—if something matters, you don’t let it go.
Once I arrive at my building, I’ll call the office and let them know I’m not returning today. Maybe my SIM card will dry out in a few hours and I’ll be able to get a new cell.
No longer feeling like I’m about to collapse from the day’s events, I emerge from the cab and enter my building. A few people mill about, but it’s not nearly the bustling hive of activity that Tony’s building was.
On the far side of the lobby, I spot a familiar shaggy head of dark hair. Holy crap! It’s Tony, sitting at a little table near a sofa grouping, wearing jeans and a t-shirt. The fabric pulls across his chest, emphasizing his rugged build. He stands when he sees me enter and his face splits into a grin. His faded jeans hug his thighs and draw my gaze to his crotch. Damn, he’s fine.
What the hell is he doing here? The thought paralyzes me, freezing me in place. Where has my courage and conviction from a few minutes ago gone?
I open my mouth to say something, anything, but nothing comes out.
He folds my stiff body into a hug, pulling me close. His musky scent mixes with my body wash, reminding me of our shower this morning. The angst and emotional build of the week spills out of me and tears leak down my face. I’m so confused, I don’t even know where to start.
“Shh…don’t cry.”
I pull away and sputter, “I broke my phone.”
Wow, I get the man fired and the first thing I blurt is about my phone.
Tony runs his hand down my arm and links his fingers with mine. “I wondered why I hadn’t heard from you.”
“How did you know to come here?”
He kisses my cheek. “Just a hunch. I knew you’d show up here eventually.”
Eventually—like he would have waited for me all day.
I swallow a huge lump and ask what’s been on my mind for hours. “Did I get you taken off the deal and fired?”
He shakes his head. “I was replaced last week when I made the suggestion to increase the offering bid.”
“Why are you shaking your head ‘no’? That is my fault! I’m the one who coerced you into a higher number. Why didn’t you tell me?”
He shrugs. “It was the best thing that could have happened.”
I put a hand over my middle, trying desperately to take a deep breath. “Really? How?”
“For one thing, I wouldn’t have been able to be with you the past ten days. No matter what promises we made to each other to not talk about work, we both could have been sued for being intimately involved when such a huge deal was in the balance.”
Truth slaps me. He’s right. It was naive of me to think otherwise.
“You don’t look good, honey. Come sit down.” Tony leads me to the small table and holds out a chair. He sits across from me and pats my hand. “Change is good, trust me.”
His calm expression eases the knot in my gut. If he’s not frantic then I shouldn’t be. “Was proposing the higher deal why you were fired?” I turn my hand over to clasp his. “Or did my actions in your office put you on the outs with your boss?”
“Nope and nope. And those were ‘our’ actions, not just yours. If anything, it helped to open my eyes a little better.”
Holy cow, open his eyes? Could he mean about us?
My stunned expression must be amusing, because a full-bellied laugh rips from him. “And I wasn’t fired.” The tension I always see in his face while wearing a suit is missing. “I resigned.”
“You did what?”
Tony leans in, draws my hands across the table, and kisses the tips in that wild, seductive way he has, lingering longer than he should until I blush. “I gave my notice on Monday. They kept me ‘til yesterday, making me promise I’d consult with them a few times over the next month to transition deals I was working on.”
“Holy cow.” All this time I was worried for nothing. I could have spilled my guts to him at any moment. Shame courses through me at my own duplicity and lack of trust. If I’d just opened my mouth and talked to the man…
“The lack of stress also helped me figure out what you were hiding.”
“Me?” I squeak out. “What are you implying?” Oh my God! He knows I plotted all week behind his back!
A perceptive look crosses his face. “Uh-huh. Thought so.” He smiles, pride in his eyes. “You saved Parkerson from the merger, didn’t you?”
Heat suffuses my face. “How in the hell could you know that? Did Marcus text you after the meeting?”
“Nah. I’ve been around the block a few times.” He draws circles in my palm with his thumb, making me hyper aware of him. “There aren’t many reasons you’d work your finance team late, unless it was to solve a problem.” He winks. “Banker’s hours and all that.”
“You knew, all this time?” I think back to my sleepless nights this week, waking up in a cold sweat, fearing I’d never see him after today. He’d often sense when I was awake and slowly make love to me, soothing my tense body back to sleep in his arms.
“Well, I didn’t know for sure. But I strongly suspected.”
“And you weren’t angry?”
He scoots his chair closer and wraps an arm over the back of mine. “Hell, no.” His seductive caramel gaze pins me to my chair. The golden depths of his eyes hold a strong emotion. “I was proud you were doing what you could to save a company that matters to you.”
Tears cloud my vision as I fight to keep my composure. “So, what does this mean? Where will you work? What about us?”
He leans down, capturing my mouth. His tongue seeks entrance and I open my lips, uncaring who might see us. Heat spills into me, flushing my face. He breaks the kiss and cups my cheek with one hand, staring into my eyes.
“I plan on focusing on my buildings…and us.”
“Us?” Elation sings through my veins. There really is an “us”.
“Is that so hard to believe?” He gives my hand a strong squeeze. “I’ve had enough of the corporate run around. It didn’t make me happy. You make me happy. I want to support you in your high stress dream job while I do something a little less tense for a while. I’ve got plenty of money saved and invested—plus the rents from the finished units in Hoboken bring in thousands each month.” He kisses me quick and hard, pulling back with a wild look in his eyes. “Two weeks may be too soon to say the ‘L’ word, but I know without a shadow of a doubt I haven’t felt like this with anyone. We have something strong and I want to see where it leads.”
My heart beats so loudly the noise drowns his voice. Did I hear him right? He thinks he might be in love with me but doesn’t want to speak the word too soon? “Where it leads?”
I realize I’m parroting him, but for the life of me, can’t think of anything coherent to say. All my dreams are coming true. The job I thought would never go to a woman is mine, and a man is falling hard for me—maybe as hard as I’ve already fallen for him.
He rubs a rough thumb over the back of my hand as he nods. “You matter to me, Heather. More to me i
n two weeks than everything I thought I wanted for the past ten years. I’d be a fool to let you go.” A wicked grin spreads across his face at my flustered expression. “Even if you did hide things from me this week.” When my eyes widen he quickly adds, “Considering the situation, you really had no choice.”
I nod, relieved he understands why I couldn’t tell him what the board was planning.
Heat burns deep in his eyes. “Do you have any idea what you do to me?” His voice is husky with a sensual timbre. “What you make me feel? Surely, you didn’t think we were done, did you?”
An answering fire fills me when I see the growing bulge in the front of his pants. Oh no, we’re nowhere near done.
We may not be ready to say the “L” word out loud, but I have no doubt in my heart what I’m feeling for this incredible man is real enough to last a lifetime. A flash of inspiration brings a grin to my face. “I think you’re naughty for letting me be a nervous wreck all week long.”
He smiles, a devilish tilt of the lips. “Really? I kind of liked the desperate lovemaking in the middle of the night when you were worried and stressed.”
“Ohh…you’re going to get it, now.”
“Am I?” He rises and pulls me out of my chair.
“Let’s go upstairs. I have a paddle with your name on it.”
He dips down and kisses me once more, sliding a hand down to cup my ass and haul me close. “Yes, ma’am.”
Acknowledgments
Back in June 2009, a mere four months after I began writing, I joined Romance Writers of America and a bunch of their special interest chapters. One of them, Fantasy, Futuristic & Paranormal, is where I met a computer guru and powerhouse of a woman—who was also a writer. She had far reaching vision for RWA and FF&P, and when we talked on the phone she felt like a kindred soul.
Her ideas and ambitions were too big for either organization, and one day when we were chatting, she mentioned starting her own online author support company, Savvy Media Services. I immediately told her I’d be her first customer. I knew without a doubt if this woman was going to become a publicist for authors, I wanted her on my side. She never went that route, but months later launched an entire website geared toward helping authors.
SavvyAuthors.com became a huge success and encouraged my friend, with other like-minded individuals, to reach out and start an author-focused publishing house. It took us a while to get together, but I’m proud to finally be a part of all of the hard work and drive that is Liz Pelletier. Thanks so much for believing in my work and letting me have the freedom to create a story I’m proud of.
If this book is successful, I not only have Liz to thank, but an entire crew of people. First and foremost, a portion of the credit goes to my Alpha readers on Facebook. This group reads my work as I’m creating it, before my editor sees it, and they’re a terrific support in keeping me on track. Thank you so much for your time and input!
Next, a big thanks goes to my first editor, Tina Winograd, who polished my work and made me really look like I knew what I was doing. Without your help, this manuscript might not have caught my publisher’s eye.
My editors at Entangled, both Liz Pelletier and Guillian Helm, worked between the hectic end of year holidays to get this book out in an early release. Thank you for the extra effort, ladies!
Thank you, Heather Howland, for the excellent cover and for your last minute read-through of the manuscript. Also, a heartfelt thank you to my Entangled publicists, Jessica Estep and Babs Hightower—I’m looking forward to working with you on more projects!
Last, but never least, a big hug of thanks (and maybe a game of slap and tickle) to my husband, Pete. Your unwavering support in my career leaves me awed and grateful. Someday, we’ll be mortgage-less and free of medical bills, I swear it.
About the Author
C.J. Ellisson lives in northern Virginia with her husband, two children, two dogs, and a fluffy black cat who makes her sneeze. Unlike most full-time authors, she’s also battling chronic illness. C.J. works daily to put her Lupus into remission and continues to battle numerous bacterial infections while her immune system slowly attacks her body. She turned to writing when she could no longer work outside the home and claims the escape of penning contemporary fantasy, erotica, and erotic romance has helped save her sanity.
To learn more about C.J. and her other books, please stop by the author’s website (http://www.cjellisson.com) or visit her on facebook at http://www.facebook.com/c.j.ellissonfanpage. She’s also available via Skype for interviews and book club Q&A sessions.
Do you miss signed books? C.J. offers free, full-color signed 4x6 postcards of all her novels to readers who’ve left honest reviews on any retailer or book reviewing website. To obtain yours, please email your review URLs to [email protected] with your mailing address—international readers welcome!
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