by Skyla Madi
Her mind went blank the moment his thumb started rubbing against her skin, and she gulped.
Is it me, or did the heat just go way up in here? Good Lord. What’s with this man and my reaction whenever he’s around? This whole place is filled with hot guys. That’s what’s up. There’s Toby, Carson, and now this Rebel guy. Damn, maybe I need to visit more often.
She cleared her throat. “I’d love to, but I can see you’re busy.” She gestured toward Rebel and back again.
Toby wasn’t having any of it. He gently tilted her chin up, forcing her to look at him, and she was suddenly immersed in a Toby-filled fog. He was gorgeous, with dark brown hair, short on the sides and a little longer on top, giving it a messy but sexy look. His clear complexion had a naturally tanned look, thanks to what she assumed were either a Greek or Italian heritage. He had these stunning brown eyes so dark, they almost looked black, and they had a way of hypnotizing her to not look away whenever he came near.
Harlow sighed with longing as her eyes caressed their way down his physique. Broad shoulders and muscular arms filled with tattoos she wouldn’t mind exploring at another time, a flat stomach she knew must have been rippled with a six pack, and a tapered waist encased in form-fitting jeans. He clearly worked out. The man was a huge mass of muscle and ink. It was a heady combination, and she couldn’t remember the last time she’d been this attracted to a man. It had been so long. Toby cleared his throat to gain her attention again, and she could feel the heat hit her face. He’d obviously caught her ogling. The smirk he wore just proved it as he spoke. “There’s no time like the present. Hey, Reb, can you give me a few more minutes?”
“Whatever you say, boss man.” Rebel looked amused and dismissed them by continuing to draw.
“Great!” Toby tugged her out of the room and toward his work station. She hoped he was about to show her what he came up with based on her description from last time.
She knew she was right when Toby handed her the sketch.
“Oh, wow!” It was picture perfect, even better than she’d imagined, and she couldn’t help a tear from escaping down her cheek before she quickly wiped it away. Toby had really made her life and death tattoo a reality, and she was in awe of it. The large skull was shaded in black and grey, just as she’d described, with the traditional death flower, aka carnation, flowing through it from top to bottom, its stem working as a halo on top. The flowers continued to flow from the bottom, and she loved the vibrant colors and that he focused on putting lilies into the mix. “Thank you.” It came out quieter than she’d expected, so she cleared her throat.
“Hey, are you okay?” Her answer was muffled the moment his big arms wrapped around her and he pulled her close.
She just needed a minute and stood there enjoying the warmth of his hug. It was sort of nice to be embraced like this, and the soft beat of his heart against her ear was soothing.
He smells so good.
“I’m fine. Sorry.” Harlow stepped back and laughed. “I’m speechless because it’s perfect, but I’m also a little embarrassed because of my reaction.” She traced the image lovingly and tried to explain. “Thank you for this. It’s better than I’d imagined, and she would have loved it, too.”
He didn’t look certain, though. “She?”
“My daughter. Her name was Lily.” She traced the flowers again and focused on a calla lily in the center.
“Was?” Toby held her hand again. “What happened to her?”
“Car accident. A drunk driver hit us, and I made it, but she—she didn’t.” Her eyes left the tattoo sketch and landed on him again to gauge his reaction.
“Damn, Harlow. I’m so sorry.” He nodded as if he understood and squeezed her hand in a show of support she really appreciated. Truthfully, he looked devastated for her, and she couldn’t stand the sight because it would only bring her down into that dark place that she didn’t have room for anymore.
It’d been a long, hard road to recovery, because not only had she lost her daughter, she’d almost lost her own life as well. With time, she was finally starting to get back to how she used to be before all the tragedy began, and Harlow desperately needed to stay there. Losing Lily wasn’t something she’d ever get over. It’d be with her for the rest of her life, but she had to go on. Heck, life went on, and through the tragedy, she’d learned to embrace life one day at a time. One step at a time.
“I can see why the lilies were so important to add.” He gestured toward the drawing and back.
“And it’s perfect, so thank you again for knowing exactly what I needed it to be.” It was time for a subject change, and there was no better way than to put the focus back onto him. “You’re amazingly talented. To go from my words to creating this is just—wow. I can’t draw at all.”
“Oh, come on. You can’t be that bad.” He smiled.
Harlow shook her head and chuckled. “I am. Trust me.”
“You’ll have to show me what you’ve got sometime, and I might be able to give you some pointers.”
Her smile broadened. “Maybe I will.”
“It’s a date, then. How about we talk more at your appointment? You know, to finalize the details.” Toby smirked at her, and she could feel her heart beat faster.
“Hey, boss man. You got my girl in here with you?” Mel peeked inside the door and smiled when she spotted the two of them together. “I’ve only got an hour, so we’d better get a move on.”
“You got it.” Harlow tightened her hold on his hand and squeezed back. “And Mr. James? Just so you know, I’m looking forward to it.”
“Is that so?” Toby teased. He stretched his hand out as she stepped further away until they couldn’t hold hands anymore and he was forced to release her.
She stopped in the doorway when they lost contact and winked after she waved goodbye.
***
“What was all of that about?” Mel hardly gave her a chance to sit down before she was on her. They’d gone to a little mom-and-pop diner down the road and managed to grab a booth by the window.
“What was what about?” Harlow avoided eye contact and decided to look at the menu.
“Don’t play coy with me.” Her friend chuckled. “There were some major sparks between the two of you in there.” She rubbed her hands together with excitement.
“It was nothing much, really.” Harlow put the menu down and bit her lip. “Okay, it was not nothing. The other night, I described what I was hoping for in a tattoo, and Toby nailed it. It’s beautiful, even better than I imagined it could be, and I got a little emotional for a minute. Lily would have loved it, Mel, and I can’t thank you enough for getting my foot in the door. You weren’t kidding about how busy you all are over there. It was a mad house today.”
“It’s certainly entertaining. The men come in because they know we dish out quality work and a few were fans of the show. Most of the women, however, come hoping to catch the guys’ attention or are hoping to catch a glimpse of Love the Sinner. Ash and the boys are in frequently when they’re not touring, and if you think it was busy today, try showing up on a day those guys are in house. Last time we had to have the cops there to control the crowd outside.” The waitress showed up to take their order, and once she was out of earshot, Mel continued. “I knew Toby would get it right. He’s the best, but I am sorry it brought up so much for you. I can’t even begin to imagine losing a child like you did. Want to talk about it?”
“Uh, no.” She took a sip of water the waitress had dropped off and elaborated further. “I appreciate the offer, Melody. Really, I do, but I’d much rather just enjoy this lunch with you and give you this.” She pushed an envelope toward her. “Grief is a passage that never ends, but it has a chance to change through stages, and it’s up to us whether we accept them or not. I’d like to think I have. Losing my daughter was a hard road to go down, and it’s something I’ll never get over. But, at the same time, I’d like to think I’m stronger for it in a way. Many see grief as a weakness or a lack o
f faith, but I’d like to think it’s the price you pay for loving someone, and it’s worth the risk to do it. My heart will never be as whole as it was with Lily, but I also know she’d want me to be happy. Here I am, trying my best to lead by example and make my daughter proud by helping others because it’s what I enjoy. I struggle sometimes, though, and speaking of—” She pointed to the letter in her friend’s hand. “It sounds like your Mr. Idiosyncratic is having a hard time of it, too. He’s very lucky to have you, and I hope this helps. If you’d like a list of resources, I can get one for you, and heck, if you think he’d be willing, I’d talk to him myself, if that’s the route he’d be more comfortable with. Just let me know if there is anything more I can do, all right?”
“Will do. It’s much appreciated.” Mel lifted the sealed envelope with Harlow’s reply before tucking it safely inside her bag. “I’ll read this over and try to figure out the next step.”
“Good idea.” Their food came, and they spent the rest of their time idly chatting about random, less heartbreaking things, while they ate and made plans to call Calista for another night out soon to celebrate taking the leap again. Only this time, Harlow wanted Mel to invite Diamond, too.
Chapter Eight
Dear Harlow:
I confronted my boyfriend because I thought he was cheating. When I brought it up, he denied it at first. Later, he admitted to a onetime thing, and he promised he wouldn’t do it again. I’m devastated, but I love him. What should I do?
~Confused in Minnesota~
*
Dear Confused:
It sounds self-explanatory to me. He denied it and told you it wouldn’t happen again? I’d go with your gut. If there is no trust, there isn’t much of a relationship to hold onto.
I wish you all the best,
Harlow.
***
Toby
“You ready for this?”
He watched Harlow nod as he applied the stencil to her skin. This was it. She was taking a leap to pretty up her physical scars, and he was proud to be helping her out with that. He knew all too well how hard it was to deal with the death of someone you loved, and he admired her strength. “Okay, I’ll need you to look in the mirror right there and you can let me know if the placement on your skin is right for you. Then we can get started.”
“It really is quite big, isn’t it?” She smiled and looked at it in awe through the reflection of the glass. “As I said, perfect, though.” Harlow turned around and sat back on the chair. “Let’s do this.”
“You’re a brave woman,” Toby remarked, and he meant it in more ways than one. She was watching him as he slipped on gloves, removed the sterilized needle from its packaging, and set up. Harlow’s skin was smooth and so soft to the touch. She was naked from the waist up except for her bra. She trembled slightly as he leaned in closer to start, and he felt like he needed to tread carefully and walk her through it, considering it was her first time. “I’ll need you to lie back on your side for me and keep that arm away from the area we’re working on, so with that in mind, position yourself in a way that makes you comfortable.” He continued as she adjusted her position. “I won’t lie and tell you this tickles, because it sure as hell doesn’t. You’re going to feel pain and discomfort. The ribs are especially sensitive. After about five or ten minutes, your endorphins should kick in, and it’ll ease the feeling some, hopefully. If at any time you need a break, just say so and we can take five.”
“Okay, how long do you think it’ll take?” Harlow tucked her hands under her head to get comfortable, and it gave him just enough room to proceed.
“Two, maybe three hours. We won’t overdo it this time. We’ll just stick with the outline today. Let’s give it some time to heal and schedule you back within a couple weeks. Then I’ll finish it off with some shading and color.”
“Sounds good to me.” She took a deep breath in and out. “Thanks, Toby. I really mean it. You’ll never know how much this means to me, especially with you fitting me in on your time off.”
“People like you are the reason I do what I do. You make me feel like I’m making a difference, but I’m just an artist doing what I love. I’m honored, though.”
“Right.” She smiled.
The buzz of his tattoo gun filled the room, and it was music to his ears. He was in the zone and ready to get down to business. Harlow flinched and let out a hiss of pain the moment his needle penetrated her skin, but she was a trooper.
“What made you decide to go through with it?” Toby asked. There was nothing like a good distraction, so he tried to keep his clients talking. It was an effective way to make them feel more at ease. It was also a good way for him to subtly get to know her better.
“Long story short, Calista, my friend, came here to get some work done, and she talked about it non-stop. She was so pleased with the outcome. She’s likeable and makes friends easily. I think it was Carson who did her tattoo, though.” She smiled. “Mel overheard him flirting with Callie, and I guess after a bit of sibling banter and laughter, she struck up a friendship with Melody. She knew I wanted to get something to cover the scars and introduced me to Mel one night at dinner. She told me about this place, insisted I come have a look, and the rest is history.”
“I guess you were impressed, then,” Toby replied.
“You guessed right. This place is great, and so is everyone I’ve met so far. But if I’m going to be completely honest, it was you who helped me take this leap most of all. The moment I saw what you created, I was in love with it.” She grunted as he kept working and listening. “I could picture it in my head. I described it, after all, but it didn’t fully come together until I saw it on paper for the first time. I’m probably not even making sense, huh?”
“No, I get it.” He chuckled. “I swear, my head swells every time I see you. I appreciate the compliments. Keep them coming.”
“Right. I’ll be sure to keep that in mind for the next time,” she teased.
The buzzing continued, and he heard Harlow breathing heavily. “You’re doing great. Be sure to let me know if you need a minute.”
“I’m good.”
“No doubt.” He shook his head. “Tell me about your little girl.” He could feel her body stiffen, but he wasn’t sure if it was due to her physical discomfort or because he asked about her daughter.
Way to go, dipshit. Who wants to talk about hard shit? Ask about her daughter. She’ll probably think about her death.
“Or not. Shit. Sorry. I shouldn’t have brought her up.”
He could feel the second her body relaxed for him, then she put him at ease. “No, it’s okay, I guess. What is it you’d like to know?”
“Not sure. Anything you’d like to share.”
“Okay, well, Lily Jane Ross was born September 19, 2012, and I fell in love with her before I even laid eyes on her. I swear, the moment I found out I was pregnant, I was overjoyed. I’d always wanted to become a mother. The first time I heard her heartbeat, my own heart swelled with excitement. It was miraculous. She was a whopping nine pounds, two ounces and absolutely perfect in my eyes. She was the sweetest. I swear it.”
“Sounds like it,” he said. “Big baby, too.”
Harlow shrugged but didn’t reply. She continued with her own descriptions. “She got that from her father’s side, I think. He was about your height. Six-three or so, but I didn’t know as much as I would’ve liked to about his side of the family. The moment I got pregnant, he wanted no part of it, but that’s another story altogether.” She paused. “I close my eyes, and I can still see her curly blonde hair, sparkling green eyes, and when she smiled, she had the cutest little dimple in her left cheek.”
“Sounds like a beautiful memory to keep.” Toby scooted his chair closer.
“A memory, yeah.” She sniffed. “What I wouldn’t give to have her be a reality again.”
Toby gulped but didn’t say a word. He knew exactly how she felt. The angst was in the air, thick with emotion, both hers a
nd his combined. It was beginning to be too much, and he had to concentrate.
“Well, I was happy to do this for you. Now tell me what Harlow Ross is like.”
“Oh God.” She groaned. “Well, for one, I hate being put on the spot.”
Toby chuckled. “Aren’t you in the public eye, normally? You do write a popular column for Twin City, right?”
“I do, but it doesn’t really work that way. Writing is a subtler way to get to know me. I choose what I’d like to share. But I love that it also allows me to get to know my readers as well when they write in. I mostly get to work from home, and when I do get recognized, it’s usually through a mutual acquaintance. I’m not as big a celebrity as you are. Come on.”
Call it a hunch, but he knew she was smiling for him. “Oh, you think so? If I recall, you didn’t know who I was when we met,” he teased.
“Yeah, but I also don’t watch much television. If I’m not working, I’m escaping inside a book.”
“You’re so refreshing, Harlow Ross. Let’s see what I’ve learned so far. You’re, what, five-five, maybe a buck fifteen or twenty? Brunette, curvy in all the right places, sexy, and cute. You’re also smart, have a great career you clearly enjoy, and good friends. You don’t watch TV, but you like to read. You’re career driven, a family woman, you love fiercely, and you’re nice to talk to. Oh, and before today, you were a tattoo virgin. Am I missing anything?”
“Wow,” she mumbled.
“And clearly humble.” Toby smiled.
“You got all that from the few brief times I’ve run into you?”
“I pay attention. I’m good at reading people, too.” He shrugged, wiped her skin with a paper towel, and leaned back to dip the needle in more ink. “I could tell you were a good one.”
“I think that’s the sweetest thing I’ve heard in a long time,” she remarked. “Honest to God.”
“Nothing sweet about me, but you want to think that way, knock yourself out.” Toby grinned.
