by Skyla Madi
“We just spoke yesterday. Miss me already?” She stepped back and smiled.
“You know it,” Toby said. “You’re my last appointment of the day, so let’s get this show on the road. Shall we?” He gestured for her to follow him down the hallway. “We’ll finish your artwork and I’ll be able to have you all to myself. I’ve been looking forward to it all week.”
“You did miss me.” Harlow was elated at the thought. “The feeling is mutual.”
“Good to know, baby.” The moment they crossed the threshold of his station, he slammed the door to give them privacy and was on her in an instant. Her back was pressed against the door, and the heat of Toby’s body surrounded her. His mouth immediately sought hers, and it was heaven on earth. They were both breathless when he pulled away reluctantly. “We’ll have to continue that a little bit later because if I don’t stop now, there’ll be no turning back.”
“Something else to look forward to.” Harlow smirked and took off her shirt. “You ready for me?” She hopped up on the tattoo table, lay on her side, and got comfortable.
“More than you know,” Toby replied. She squealed when he smacked her on the ass as he walked by. It only took a couple minutes for him to set up, and the familiar buzz of the tattoo gun filled the room. “Whatever you’re doing, keep it up. The tatt looks like it healed up really well,” he said.
“I washed it every day and liberally moisturized.” She shrugged. “I can’t wait to see the finished product.”
“I bet. No regrets?”
Harlow shook her head. “Zero. I guess my initial problem was fear of the unknown—finding someone I trusted enough to get it right and allowing myself to take the leap. Thanks to Calista, Melody, and you, here I am. You came along, listened to the idea I had, and made it better with your crazy, incredible talent. Now, here we are, finishing it, and it’s truly incredible. I can’t thank you enough.”
“No thanks are needed. Trust me when I tell you, the pleasure has been all mine. It makes it that much better when it means something to the person you’re giving your art to.” They were silent for a minute before Toby continued with a question. “Have you known Calista a long time?”
“We met just before Lily’s first birthday, actually.” Harlow smiled as she recalled the memory. “She was my neighbor, and she turned out to be a really great friend, as you can tell. My first here in this city. Before her, I mostly kept to myself. I only lived here a couple of months, and I was settling into a new job at St. Paul’s in their Family Services Department.”
“Where was Lily while you were working?” Toby asked.
“She was with the Coles. They’re a friend of the family, of my mom’s, actually, and they were happy to help out whenever they could. They adored the both of us.”
“That’s good. Do you still keep in touch?” he asked.
“Unfortunately, no,” she admitted, ashamed to say so. They were good people. “After Lily passed away, it took a long time for me to recover, both physically and emotionally. Hell, I think I’ll always be a little broken. Let’s face it, losing a child is just something one doesn’t ever get over. It’s too tragic.” She shook her head and took a moment to gather her thoughts. “I was a shell of the person I used to be, and I kept to myself. Sometimes, I thought it was easier to just push people away. The less people you had to care about, the less it would hurt if something were to happen again. I couldn’t cope. Know what I mean?”
“I know exactly how that feels,” he said but didn’t elaborate.
“I somehow knew you would.” She sighed. “But Calista was a force to be reckoned with. No matter how much I pushed, she pushed back. It didn’t feel like it at the time, but it was kind of a godsend, and she was the rock I needed to lean on until I pulled myself together. The fact is, we need people, especially through the tough times. It’s human nature, even if it’s just to talk out the issues we hold inside. It took a while for me to figure that one out, by the way.”
Toby snorted. “Did it, now? Don’t they teach you that when you study psychology?”
“In theory, I guess. But it’s a different ballgame to practice what you preach. Think of it this way. Would the person you lost want you to dwell on the grief and live miserable and alone for the rest of your life? Or would they love you enough to want to see you move on and succeed? In order to do that, you need to let people in, talk about it, and go through all the steps you need to grieve so you can get better for yourself and become a stronger person. Loving someone is a blessing, and although I’d give anything to have my daughter back, that’s just not my reality anymore. Though I am grateful for the time we had and that I was once blessed to be her mother, even if it was only for a short time.”
“Remarkable,” Toby said. She drew in a deep breath while he went over a particularly sensitive spot on her skin. “You’re a strong person, Harlow Ross. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise. It’s one of your many qualities, which I admire.”
“Uh, thanks.” She winced as he began working across her ribs.
“Can I ask what happened with Lily’s father? You’ve never really mentioned him.” Toby paused to dip the gun in ink and wiped the spot he was working on with a paper towel before his needle met her skin again.
“There’s not much to tell.” She cursed. “Shit, that hurts.”
“Sorry,” he said. “Do you need a break?”
“Maybe just a minute.” She sighed when he pulled away. “Lily’s father was someone I met in my last year of University. We were together only a few months when I found out I was pregnant, and it didn’t go so well when I told him the news. His name was Scott, and he was a pre-med student looking forward to starting a residency at Stanford Hospital. I thought he was incredibly smart and good looking, and we were both young and having fun, until we weren’t.” She shrugged while staring at the wall in front of her. “I once thought we had the same goals. Anyway, I found out I was pregnant a few months into the relationship, and he freaked out. He accused me of entrapment, made it seem like I had done it on purpose because I wanted to nab a doctor to secure my future, which was preposterous. I was working toward my degree in psychology. I didn’t need him or anyone else to secure anything. I was doing fine on my own. We got into this huge argument and broke up. I was devastated, but I was determined to prove him wrong. He avoided me for the rest of my time at school, and I endured the gossip and pitying looks the whole time. By the time I was in my third trimester, I had graduated with honors. So, there you go. Suck it, Scott!” She wiped a tear from her eye and laughed humorlessly. “Then he found out when our little girl died, he must have heard about it on the news or something, and I swear, it was the first time since my last year in university I heard his voice again, but his apology came too little too late. He was never in her life. He didn’t want to be. But despite that, I invited him to the funeral to say goodbye, if he wanted to, and the asshole didn’t even bother to show up. Can you believe that? I mean, why call me to begin with? I was going through enough at that point. That was the first and last time I heard from him in years, and I hope to God it’ll be the last. He’s evil and cruel, and I hope karma bites him in the butt.”
“If I ever meet him, I guarantee I’ll kick his ass for you.” Toby stood above her and pressed on her shoulder so she could move from her side to her back and he kissed her forehead. “Fuckin’ incredible, I tell you.”
“What is?” she whispered.
“You,” was his simple reply. “Now, are you ready to get started again?” He moved to sit back on his stool.
“Let’s do this.” Harlow nodded and moved back onto her side. She lifted her arm and settled her hands together so she could place them under her cheek. “Um, Toby?”
“Yeah?”
“I’d be happy to return the favor someday and listen when you’re ready to share your story too.” There was no telling when, or if, that would happen, but there was always hope.
“Maybe someday.” His gloved hand l
ightly squeezed her hip as if acknowledging the offer, and she let it go for now.
One day, she’d find out about his ugly, just as she shared hers with him, and she hoped it would help him heal. Toby was a good man who deserved happiness in the end.
They both did.
Chapter Nineteen
Toby
He admired her as she stood in front of the floor-length mirror at his station. He’d just finished the shading and coloring of her tattoo, and it was fuckin’ beautiful, if he did say so himself. One of his best pieces to date. “As before, the redness should disappear by tomorrow. It’ll be sensitive for a few days. Be sure to clean it with soap and water regularly and moisturize. It’ll help if it starts to itch.” He swallowed. “But you know all that. Would you mind if I take a picture before we wrap it up? With permission, I’d be honored to add it to my portfolio.”
When she turned around, he saw tears in her eyes, and it made him want to take her in his arms and protect her from everything and everyone. This woman was amazing and strong. She did things to him and made him feel things he hadn’t felt in so long. It felt like ages, another lifetime ago, since his heart had been thawed out and started beating again. She made him feel again, made him want to become a better person and to take a chance. Would Carley have liked her?
Shit, probably. Who knew for sure?
He rubbed a hand across his face and held back a curse. What he needed was to slow this shit down, but that was easier said than done when he was around her. Since recovering from the burns and trauma—since Carley was taken, as a matter of fact—his coping method involved a revolving door of women and booze to deal with the nightmares and lack of sleep. The shitty depression and anger needed an outlet, and when he wasn’t fucking or getting buzzed to dull the pain, he was getting the new shop running and working his ass off. It was exhausting.
After a while, she finally responded. “The honor would be mine. Wow, I knew how beautiful it was going to be. It’s just…now that it’s done…I don’t know.” She shrugged. “It’s like another chapter of my life has ended and a new one is beginning. Lily would have thought this was so pretty. You would have loved her. I know I mentioned this before, but she always loved to make me drawings for our refrigerator of flowers and anything else that gained her attention.”
“I’m sure I would have.” He gulped back the heavy feeling in the pit of his stomach, thinking of her little girl, and nodded. There was a time in his life he couldn’t wait to have children, and he wondered if he’d ever get there again. At thirty-three, he wasn’t getting any younger.
The tattoo went from just under her armpit down to her hip, taking up her whole side. He could see the scars she covered up, but that was only because he’d known where they’d been. Anyone else probably wouldn’t notice them, though. The skull was a large black and white piece which was shaded well, so it looked realistic. The vine of flowers went through the skull, creating a halo at the top, making it look angelic and feminine. Then the vines tapered down her side into a bouquet that spread out and down to her hip bone. Life and death. Perfection on the outside to hide the imperfections she struggled with inside. But who could blame her?
He vowed right then and there that when the time was right, he’d share his story with her, and soon. It was only fair for her to know what she was getting herself into if things went any further between them. He already knew she was different from the rest, and he was broken and totally fucked up. The least he could do was warn her about it before either of them got in too deep.
He didn’t love her yet, but he knew without a doubt that he could, and that was some scary shit. He liked her a lot, though, and that wasn’t going to change. She was good people right down to her core, inside and out. Beautiful, smart, caring, strong, sweet, and sexy. So sexy.
Harlow was a woman who deserved it all, but did he deserve a woman like her? That was another question altogether. She was the light to his dark.
“Hey, are you okay?”
Her whispered words brought him out of those deep thoughts, and he sighed as he went to grab his phone to take that picture. “Yeah, I guess I sort of zoned out for a minute. Nothing to worry about.” He winked, and her smile put him at ease.
“These’ll look good.” He showed her the two pictures he’d taken on his phone. “This tattoo is one to be proud of.”
“It really is,” she said. He could see the pride written all over her face. She was really good for his ego.
“Damn right it is.” He smirked. “Just give me a sec to cover it up for a bit. You can take it off in an hour or two to air it out.” He applied the antibacterial ointment. Once he was sure the area was sterilized, he then placed a plastic wrap on top and taped it to keep any germs or bacteria away from the wound. “On the other hand, forget the hour or two. I’d recommend keeping the wrap on until the morning to be safe, due to the size of it and where the tattoo is located.”
“Then morning it is.” She rubbed her hands together. “Now about that ride…”
“I didn’t forget.” Toby chuckled and gave her a kiss on the lips. “But first, you’ll need to get dressed. Don’t you think?” Her shirt hung from his index finger as he held it up for her, and she snatched it away.
“I think you might be right, silly man.” She winked. “It’s hot as hades out there, but I also brought a light jacket. A girl can never be too prepared while on a motorcycle. I was taught well.”
“I can see that,” he said, unable to help himself as his gaze ran from the bottom of her running shoes up to her long legs encased in tight jeans. He continued his perusal up to her shapely hips, flat stomach, great breasts, and didn’t stop until he was looking into those gorgeous green eyes, which he had decided were his new favorite color. Her shirt was on now, but he could still tell she was just as affected as he was with their mutual attraction, thanks to her hardened nipples pointing right in his direction. He licked his lips, and his mouth watered. He was a man, after all. “After you.” He opened his door and gestured for her to go ahead of him. The entire gang, minus Carson, was out front. He was still with his client and due to close the shop tonight, thanks to his plans with Harlow. Plans he was very much looking forward to.
“There’s our girl.” Mel smiled and hugged Harlow lightly. “Let me see.”
Dee moved closer to have a look too, but Toby moved in faster. “Sorry, me and your girl have a date with my Harley. Maybe next time.” Harlow chuckled and looked back with a wave.
“Later, ladies. I’ll give you a call. We’ll go out for drinks soon. The four of us. I promise.”
By the time they made it outside, the sun had already set, and it was getting dark out. There was a light breeze in the air that helped lower the humidity from earlier.
“What’s the rush?” The sound of happiness in her voice tugged at his heart and filled him with warmth. A gift only she seemed to give him. He slowed his pace and turned to face her.
He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and shrugged. “Figured if we didn’t get out when we did, those two would have kept us there for a while. Trust me. They know how to talk, and now that my work is done, I was kind of looking forward to having you all to myself.” He caressed the side of her face and leaned down for another kiss. The taste of her was becoming his addiction. He sucked on her bottom lip and whispered, “Okay?”
He pulled back just enough to gauge her reaction and knew it was the right move when she pulled him down to devour his mouth.
Chapter Twenty
Dear Harlow:
Is there a time limit to the grieving process?
I lost my husband eight months ago to cancer, and my friends are already encouraging me to move on. It’s too soon. I honestly don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to meet someone else. Help!
~Weeping Widow, Minnesota~
*
Dear Weeping:
First, I’d like to say I’m so sorry for your loss. I know the grieving process well, and I can tell you from ex
perience that there is no time limit on it. I can certainly understand how after only a few months you feel like you aren’t ready to be romantically involved again. Take it one day at a time. You never know what the future will hold. You may feel differently down the road. In the meantime, take care of you. Talk to someone about how you’re feeling regularly.
Try not to worry so much about everyone else’s expectations.
Big hugs,
Harlow
***
Harlow
There was nothing more intoxicating and alluring than being on an open road with the wind on her face and flowing through her hair. Or at least the part of her hair that wasn’t confined inside a helmet. To hear the roar of a good engine, to feel the vibration between her legs, and to enjoy the openness that surrounded her as she got to view the remarkable sights while they drove by. It made her feel grateful to experience it again. Harlow had never been on a motorcycle ride in Minneapolis before. It was her first time on a bike since she’d left Fresno all those years ago. It didn’t hurt that she was also able to enjoy it while her arms were wrapped tightly around the rippling muscles of a gorgeous man, either.
Toby took her along The Grand Rounds, which encompassed some lakes, creeks, woods, and riverbanks. It was so resplendent with natural features. It also had canals, lagoons, parks, and so much more. It was dark, but what she could make out through the street lighting was breathtaking. She’d have to come back again one day to get a closer look.
About an hour later, Toby steered them back in the direction of the shop. The time flew by so fast, she didn’t want it to end. Thankfully, neither did he.
“Was it as good as you remembered?” Toby smirked while he helped her get the helmet off. Her legs were a little shaky as she got off the back, but she managed the feat on her own.
